Question for Married Maggots...

**Captain Awesome** · 05-23-2010, 11:07 PM

Planning our wedding (late September), and we're wondering, what is the one thing you included at your wedding that wasn't worth the effort? So far, the leading response among friends was "videographer", but I'm guessing there are others. So, the question is, if you could re-do your wedding, what element could you eliminate without missing it?

**SkiingBear** · 05-23-2010, 11:13 PM

Not sure there's anything I could really eliminate from ours, it was just about perfect. The only thing I can add is we didn't have a videographer...we just set up a video camera, on a tripod, in a place to capture the ceremony, and hit record. We ended up with a perfect video in the end...complete with guests walking past it after the ceremony.

Honestly, I'm wracking my brain here...there's nothing that wasn't worth it.

**Blinkyjoe** · 05-23-2010, 11:15 PM

20 years of wedded bliss.
Eliminate:
Dorky Tuxedoes
One-use-only Bridesmaid dresses
One-use-only wedding gown
Live music
Flowers, really
Sit-down meal
Keep:
Photographer, but only get 10 photos, max
Cake, but get a bridesmaid to make it.

**DasBlunt** · 05-23-2010, 11:20 PM

Photos and vid, that shit can be done by a creative friend...UNLESS.... you are having a full on, 200+ person wedding. Then, keep all the pros, all of them. No way can anything and everything be handled when the party is that big, with that many people.

skimp on nothing if you are having 200+ people. sorry to say it.

less than 75 people, or whatever, ummm find an ex girlfriend who is has a great camera and knows how to use it. Buy an HD vid camera for her to use.

All the alter decoration flowers are always unnecessary unless they are living plants.

we had one badass bouquet for the bride and bridesmaids, lapel flowers for my crew, and some sweet arrangements for the tables. that was it. No shit lining the walk, no big ass arrangements around the "alter" area. We were married in a tea house, so built in decor and built in after party and we go there for anniversaries every year.

**DasBlunt** · 05-23-2010, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by Blinkyjoe

20 years of wedded bliss.
Eliminate:
Dorky Tuxedoes
One-use-only Bridesmaid dresses
One-use-only wedding gown
Live music
Flowers, really
Sit-down meal
Keep:
Photographer, but only get 10 photos, max
Cake, but get a bridesmaid to make it.

agree about the tux and bridesmaids gowns. we did unique clothes that I wear to this day.

Brides gown, don't agree....she wants it, you want to take that thing off that night!!!!!

live music was the best thing ever, and should be at any wedding.
we had music from India, sitar and tabla with a singer.we walked down the isle with it and it was truly amazing.

The meal is important. I like the idea of a family gathering and eating together. nice tradition.

**boarddad** · 05-23-2010, 11:36 PM

Videographer. Actually we didn't even have one, but my parents videotaped it and my wife and I have always refused to watch it. I hate to make the comparison, but it falls in the same catagory as filming yourself having sex. There's no possible way that seeing it on a TV screen can even compare to your own image of the event.

**3W MO7B** · 05-24-2010, 12:00 AM

I'd pass on my bride... but I didn't know that then.

Wedding are so fucking cookie cutter... thanks to Madison Ave., mainstream media and everyone that buys into the "industry". My advice is BE DIFFERENT. Be the guy that throws a wedding where your buddies DON'T say "I've been to that wedding 5 times already." Seriously. The greatest thing that could happen at an outdoor wedding is the wind blowing over the tent or some other fiasco. Why? Because then, that wedding will be memorable! All the other cookie cutter weddings are so forgettable, it makes me pissed that the bride and groom didn't pay me $20K+ to throw it together for them. I could do it in my sleep. What a scam.

**2nd mate** · 05-24-2010, 12:41 AM

Tell us a little about where and what kind of wedding you are planning and it may help us narrow down some of the shit that we felt was not needed.

1)Video geek for one , we didnt do it. we just had a legit photographer.
2)Big cake not needed. we did a small one that was just big enough to serve for desert. lemon lavendar.
3)BAND IS A NEED, dont skimp on it. We had a great one. It can be the diff between guests having a memorable time and them leaving early.
4)Open bar helps too if you can swing it.
5) day of planner sucked, wasted money unless you find someone who is good. All seemed fine for us until the day of when she, and her assistant, were useless.

I loved my wedding last year. The honeymoon was even better

and if you get flowers for the church make sure the "flower comitte" doesnt throw them away before the ceremony.

**frozenwater** · 05-24-2010, 01:36 AM

ditch the bride, you will save a TON of cash over the long haul

**skiing-in-jackson** · 05-24-2010, 02:04 AM

Sixteen years here...

I'd ditch the guests. We got married super cheap. The whole wedding was about $800.00. It was great, only close friends were there. None of this having a bunch of pseudo friends there crap.

On a side note, we had good friends get married three months after we did- with every bell and whistle- for around 150 people. They spent something like $11K. They came to us after the ceremony/reception and said they wished they did It way smaller.

I remember our whole wedding cost what their engagement photo shoot cost!

Last summer one of our cougar friends was having a yard sale. In this collection of trash she was selling, were cases of cheap wine glasses that had been etched with her and her (now) ex's name. Classic. She's so out of touch, she was asking three bucks a piece for those shifty etched classes.

What I'm getting at it make it as small as you her family will let you.

**Flexon Phil** · 05-24-2010, 05:20 AM

Originally Posted by skiing-in-jackson

Sixteen years here...

I'd ditch the guests. We got married super cheap. The whole wedding was about $800.00. It was great, only close friends were there. None of this having a bunch of pseudo friends there crap.

On a side note, we had good friends get married three months after we did- with every bell and whistle- for around 150 people. They spent something like $11K. They came to us after the ceremony/reception and said they wished they did It way smaller.

I remember our whole wedding cost what their engagement photo shoot cost!

Last summer one of our cougar friends was having a yard sale. In this collection of trash she was selling, were cases of cheap wine glasses that had been etched with her and her (now) ex's name. Classic. She's so out of touch, she was asking three bucks a piece for those shifty etched classes.

What I'm getting at it make it as small as you her family will let you.

I will add I have seen very few couples (and families) that are happier than Stephans.

**Tuckerman** · 05-24-2010, 06:07 AM

I wish we had a great live band.

**St. Jerry** · 05-24-2010, 06:10 AM

what element could you eliminate without missing it...... **MOTHER-IN-LAW**

**gatorboy** · 05-24-2010, 06:30 AM

Here's my problem...there is soooo many organized events that it takes away from the special day.
1. No videographer - but get great photographer
2. skimp on the cake and cake cutting thing. get cupcakes instead.
3. THE BAND - get a great one that plays at the local bars and knows how to work a crowd.
4. ***** have only 2 dances - 1 for the father of the bride and one fro the rest of the couple. SKIP all the old-timers dance, wedding party dance, single girl/guy dance.
5. Do something different for the food - everyone has cheap steak and chicken. and you don't need appetizers/late night snack.

You want to have a great time, not be bogged down with picture here, picture there, cut the cake, dance now, walk over here.

Good luck and have fun.

**wooley12** · 05-24-2010, 06:47 AM

Rented a Tux
2nd hand wedding dress
Friends made the bride maid's gowns
Guests took pictures
Borrowed a car
Buddy's 4 man band
Flowers we picked
Reception at the place where I had washed dishes
$58 net worth in my pocket walking down the aisle

Can't think of anything we could have left out

40 years this August and still going strong as a work in progress

Good luck to you

**Crock** · 05-24-2010, 06:47 AM

Friend of mine did his first wedding videography gig last summer and 2 people died. That was definitely a memorable wedding!

One of my best friends got married last fall and he did it almost perfectly. Super cheap, outdoor in a backyard type wedding with a reception tent about 50 yards away. Guests had to carry their chairs from the ceremony to the tent. Simple good food in good quantities. My only complaint was that that party died real quick after the cake was gone. He had a shitty DJ so that might've been part of the problem.

**DoWork** · 05-24-2010, 06:58 AM

You should have advres just make you a couple of those mega cupcakes. Those things are about the size of an average wedding cake.

**RootSkier** · 05-24-2010, 07:01 AM

skip everything except

1) pig roast
2) kegs
3) good band

That's all you need. Even my southern mother in law agreed (after the fact of course) that the majority of the shit she worried about was completely unnecessary.

My brother in law got married in a public park in Germany where family/friends supplied all the food. True dirtbag style and it was just as much fun as any fancy wedding I've been to.

P.S. Who the fuck wants to watch a video of their wedding ceremony?

**DeeAre** · 05-24-2010, 07:10 AM

Originally Posted by RootSkier

P.S. Who the fuck wants to watch a video of their wedding ceremony?

Women

**JayRex** · 05-24-2010, 07:26 AM

What she* wants she gets.

What she* doesn't want, she doesn't get.

Seriously--decide what's important and put your money towards that. If family is important, don't elope. If music and dancing is important, step up and get a great band or killer DJ. If she finds a dress she loves, don't even look at the price tag.

Also, be careful about being "different". Make it your own, but there's a reason every wedding follow the same blueprint.

**Brock Landers** · 05-24-2010, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by skiing-in-jackson

On a side note, we had good friends get married three months after we did- with every bell and whistle- for around 150 people. They spent something like $11K. They came to us after the ceremony/reception and said they wished they did It way smaller.

11K? For 150 people...thats cheap as fuck, isnt it? Flowers alone would be like 6 grand for every bell and whistle

advres · 05-24-2010, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by DoWork

You should have advres just make you a couple of those mega cupcakes. Those things are about the size of an average wedding cake.

lol...

OP... The best wedding I ever went to was my cousins. They had it out in the white mountains at a giant open camp site in the woods. We all stood around them in a circle during the actual ceremony.

After that we all hung out, listened to music, had BBQ and they cut the cake. The kids (I was at the time) all went down the hill and swam in the river below and everyone just had a great time. Those that didn't want to drive home were allowed to camp for the night and those that didn't just drove home. Best wedding I ever went to, but they were hippies so it was expected.

**St. Jerry** · 05-24-2010, 07:57 AM

The best part of our wedding was the band. Loved how we got to pick the setlist. +1 on finding one that knows how to work the crowd.

Do not get a DJ.

**montanaskier** · 05-24-2010, 08:04 AM

married for 12 years....weddings that are over the top drive me nuts. It shouldn't be about the money or the dress or the flash. Keep it simple, save the cash and spend it on your honeymoon or something nice for each other. You will just as good a time if it is low cost and simple as if it were a mega crazy expensive deal.