Tip for maggots living with women

[gh444]

Things that Kinosoo has found works in his favor:

vacuums house = more head

cooked dinner = more head

Cleans up = more head

I come home to flowers = more head


.

Tip for Maggettes, if you need to be bribed and don't love doing it, we can tell and that means you probably suck at it.

[G]

^ Truth.

[Crock]

Funny, I tried this three-word combo: "You're the boss." You'd think she'd like to hear that. Nope, she went way off the deep end.

Christ, I should've warned you. Made the same mistake the other day only i said "She's the boss" in front of her, to another friend. Got lectured later on how I make her "sound like a controlling bitch." Everyone knew I meant it in a good way except her

[Viva]

Christ, I should've warned you. Made the same mistake the other day only i said "She's the boss" in front of her, to another friend. Got lectured later on how I make her "sound like a controlling bitch." Everyone knew I meant it in a good way except her

I once referred to a GF as "The ol' ball and chain" to her brother and a close friend. She overheard and wasn't too happy about the remark. I explained to her that I meant ball 'n' chain in a good way, but she was still mad at me. What a bitch.

[DoWork]

Continue...

I wasn't going to, but I thought of some good ones...

12). Yeah, those cool shows you used to watch? They're on during Nip/Tuck, American Idol, or some stupid reality TV show so that's a no go. "You can go watch them downstairs if you don't feel like spending time with me." (refer to #11)

13). If you yell at one of their dogs for doing something wrong, you are automatically a puppy hating asshole. How dare you stop them from shredding your puffy coat- it's your fault for leaving it where he could get it. Now clean up the mess your jacket made.

14). If someone else forgets to flush, it's gross. If you do it, it's a fucking international incident. Kofi Anon and Hans Blix called me to remind me to flush one day.

15). No amount of bullshit can make you stop loving girls. It's true. Those bitches are somethin' else. God, I love 'em.

16). "I was thinking about rearranging the living room" means "I want you to move this heavy shit around... twice".

17). Martinis are just a way for lushes to feel classy while they chug four shots of vodka in a gay glass. Beware the dreaded martini night.

18). There is no acceptable amount of online video game play. Just turning it on has been linked to sandy vag syndrome, crossed arms and spontaneous cleaning fits.

19). Snot rockets in the shower are a thing of the past, even though that's when silos are primed for launch...

20). You will learn the difference between a duvet cover and a dust ruffle. Your bed will grow new pillows each day. Women view their success by how many pillows they have on a bed- when the bed is covered completely, they win at life.

I'm off to practice my preparedness for a #11 emergency reality TV block.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

The more I read about wimmin on this forum, the more glad I am that I'm single.

[snowsprite]

Jeezus f-ing christ-o!

I've quietly read this thread, and cringed and felt pangs of oddness and---ftw!!!

I don't do pillows...I don't do a lot (or most) of these things! However, in some ways I do not fault you for posting this. I know you are right in many cases...because there are a lot of people out there who subscribe to freaking stereotypes and live them.

I am, I fear, generally speaking a stranger in a strange land. I don't think I've ever quite understood my "native language" as a female.

I did not care about a china pattern. I didn't have a wedding dress picked out by age 3. I like to clean, but do not expect my male-mate to join in my mania unless he's that way by nature. I don't like making depracating comments about my man's peeing habits, or his ability/inability to multitask.

In fact, I don't like making depracating comments about my man if I can help it! I like men overall-- and I think they're cool and they do things just fine. I will say I need and love the help and support of the men around me. Men are awesome!

I am glad that I march to the beat of my own drum. I owe it to my dad. He was a great man, and I loved how he and my mom respected each other and worked as a team. My mom always loved my dad and let him know it. My dad taught me that men at their best are helpful, caring, supportive, gentle, kind, tough, protective, and awesome.

I never got this male-female "bickering" thing where guys and girls mildly insult each other for what they are. I always loved men for what they are, and if I wanted to live with a girl I would just do that. Men and women are different in some ways, and that's good. But I don't think that men and women are all THAT different. I think that mostly they just put on this big act like they are.

I guess I don't get it...these relationships where the women basically hit the guys on the head with a proverbial frying pan for not cleaning up and pissing on toilet seats (if you've read my posts long enough you know that I HATE it when guys put the toilet seat down after they peed. I want it left up so I know they put it up and have not peed on it. I'm not handicapped and I'll put it back down myself, thank you) and the guys complain about how many purses and shoes the chicks have.

Guys, there are some women who will rip that remote right out of your hand and take over it like a commanding officer. And girls, there are guys who will drive you crazy with anal-retentive cleaning sprees (I was just at my friend's house and she was bitching how her husband won't freaking stop cleaning the house...he's a nut.)

Not sure what made me go off on this tangent...but I didn't grow up in a "battle of the sexes" kind of household.

And I hate generalizations!
[/rant]
Sprite

[warthog]

Heh- Sprite, you sound a lot like my wife.

She has her moments though, and she does love purses- 1 new one every 3 years seems fair to me, even if they cost more than my toys. She also loves the damn pillows- good christ, pillows everywhere, always changing, new pillows, old pillows- HELP!!!

[OldLarry]

Tip for Maggettes, if you need to be bribed and don't love doing it, we can tell and that means you probably suck at it.

well maybe, but a bad bj is like a bad day of fishing. Still beats most other activities.

[snowsprite]

Yeah I have my moments too. My thing is not pillows...I still don't get that. It's sunglasses. And shoes of course. I will not deny that it is a genetically based reality that women want as many cool shoes of any type as possible (heels, sneakers, hiking boots, flip flops, etc). That I will give you.

It's not a generalization in this case, it is a fact. Because shoes are super cute and you can NEVER have enough of them. (sunglasses too)

Sprite

[Diamondback]

I guess I don't get it...these relationships where the women basically hit the guys on the head with a proverbial frying pan for not cleaning up and pissing on toilet seats (if you've read my posts long enough you know that I HATE it when guys put the toilet seat down after they peed. I want it left up so I know they put it up and have not peed on it. I'm not handicapped and I'll put it back down myself, thank you) and the guys complain about how many purses and shoes the chicks have.

It's all a power play and i actually do get it. Simply put, some men are spineless dumbasses that allow their significant others to smack them around, treat them like shit, make them fetch shit, clean, and generally call all the shots. The question is why wouldn't a gf/wife/etc take that power and run with it?!? Yea its kind of f*cked up , but you can't blame her for successfully pussy whipping her man into doing whatever she wants!

To flip the table, if a guy could likewise call all the shots, demand dinner when he gets home, and have sex on call ...would you blame him for going for it?! Of course not! This happens too, perhaps even more often.

Bottom line, male or female, dont allow yourself to be somebody's bitch

[warthog]

It's all a power play and i actually do get it. Simply put, some men are spineless dumbasses that allow their significant others to smack them around, treat them like shit, make them fetch shit, clean, and generally call all the shots. The question is why wouldn't a gf/wife/etc take that power and run with it?!? Yea its kind of f*cked up , but you can't blame her for successfully pussy whipping her man into doing whatever she wants!

To flip the table, if a guy could likewise call all the shots, demand dinner when he gets home, and have sex on call ...would you blame him for going for it?! Of course not! This happens too, perhaps even more often.

Bottom line, male or female, dont allow yourself to be somebody's bitch

Agreed, but choose your battles. I am guilty of fighting a little too much for my rights. My wife and I were both single for a long time. We got married when I was 33 and she was 28. We lived alone for many years prior to that. We are both very independent.

Well, throw a kid in the mix(she was 3 months preg. at the wedding), and all bets are off. There is no independence, no selfishness, no ME, only US.
It is a tough transition for 2 stubborn asses like my wife and myself.

Only fight for the REALLY important stuff. Otherwise, let it go.

[OSECS]

It's all a power play and i actually do get it. Simply put, some men are spineless dumbasses that allow their significant others to smack them around, treat them like shit, make them fetch shit, clean, and generally call all the shots. The question is why wouldn't a gf/wife/etc take that power and run with it?!? Yea its kind of f*cked up , but you can't blame her for successfully pussy whipping her man into doing whatever she wants!

To flip the table, if a guy could likewise call all the shots, demand dinner when he gets home, and have sex on call ...would you blame him for going for it?! Of course not! This happens too, perhaps even more often.

Bottom line, male or female, dont allow yourself to be somebody's bitch

Who the hell would wanna be with someone so spineless they let themselves be bossed around and told what to do ? (I do like the sex on demand thing, but even that could get boring) If my wife did everything I told her to do I'd hate her within a month. If I was a "pussy whipped" husband my wife would probably hate me just as quick.

[Diamondback]

Who the hell would wanna be with someone so spineless they let themselves be bossed around and told what to do ? (I do like the sex on demand thing, but even that could get boring) If my wife did everything I told her to do I'd hate her within a month. If I was a "pussy whipped" husband my wife would probably hate me just as quick.

Absolutely, I agree with you and i think you're right about either side of the equation getting tired of being with somebody with no self-respect after awhile. I am just always amazed at how often these same types of complaints come up amongst my male friends who i think are pretty decent guys. Its sad!

[Tippster]

DoWork needs to stop thinking he has shit figured out. I don't care how many women you've lived with, the game changes fundamentally when it's your wife. Add in some kids and you're in a whole different league.

That said the simple answers are usually the best. Don't like what she watches on TV? Get a second one. Don't like how he leaves the cap off his toothpaste? Get your own, etc.

[OSECS]

DoWork needs to stop thinking he has shit figured out. I don't care how many women you've lived with, the game changes fundamentally when it's your wife. Add in some kids and you're in a whole different league.

That said the simple answers are usually the best. Don't like what she watches on TV? Get a second one. Don't like how he leaves the cap off his toothpaste? Get your own, etc.

Doesn't like that there's no "poopenhausen"..... get a mistress ??

[XXX-er]

Bottom line, male or female, dont allow yourself to be somebody's bitch

but in a sucessful relationship isnt possible that you pretty much take turns to some small degree ?

we have some newly married redneck friends who have the veto rule ... either one can veto the idea of the other

[Dantheman]

Who the hell would wanna be with someone so spineless they let themselves be bossed around and told what to do ? (I do like the sex on demand thing, but even that could get boring) If my wife did everything I told her to do I'd hate her within a month. If I was a "pussy whipped" husband my wife would probably hate me just as quick.

Some people get off on control, or they get a taste of power and it snowballs from there, it's a drug. Additionally, some people just really like getting what they want when they want it, and lap dogs are good for that. Not saying it's a good thing in any way, but reasons abound.

[Diamondback]

but in a sucessful relationship isnt possible that you pretty much take turns to some small degree ?

we have some newly married redneck friends who have the veto rule ... either one can veto the idea of the other

Yup definitely... taking turns and compromising is absolutely key to a healthy relationship. My prior comments were more focused on the other negative approaches people take to get their way, aka bitching. At the same time to play devils advocate, some people need a fire lit under their asses to do anything productive... but that's another argument all-together.

I just view a lot of compromises as settling for a situation both parties are equally unhappy and neither gets what they want. I realized this when my ex tried to "veto" my ski trip to Tahoe with some friends because his company sprung a golf trip to SC on him. I simply couldnt see why I should bail on somethine that made me happy to do something with him out that made me miserable (i hate golf, and i dont care if all the other wives and girlfriends are going). So I shouldnt be saying anything, because perhaps this attitude is why I'm single... but perhaps its also why i'm independently happy

[Hugh Conway]

well maybe, but a bad bj is like a bad day of fishing. Still beats most other activities.

if you can't get her to improve the bj.... maybe you just aren't worth it to her

[Diamondback]

vacuums house = more head

cooked dinner = more head

Cleans up = more head

I come home to flowers = more head

He probably cleans and vacuums to keep the dirt from your knees from getting in the bed

[XXX-er]

when you get married arent you both putting a leash on each other ?

sucess would entail a series of handing each other the leash at the correct time or at least correct enough to ensure the continuation of said contract

[Tippster]

He probably cleans and vacuums to keep the dirt from your knees from getting in the bed

I may just heart you... please be female.

[Diamondback]

I may just heart you... please be female.

All woman... sometimes even a lady

[gh444]

I'll tell you about the dumbest fight ever.

Both my roommate and I grew up in CO where you generally take your shoes off at the door when entering someones house. So thats the rule in our place.

GF who is impeccibly clean (even annoyingly so) wont take them off at my door and wont take her shoes off at her place.


Well one day she decides that I really shouldnt be taking my shoes off either because its not appealing to have my shoes by the door. Ten minutes of yelling and lecturing me followed. I shrugged, threw my shoes on and jumped into bed for the night. Oh god she turned soooo red. Hilarious!