So I died. Now what?

[bmg97]

You got lucky, and like any good near-death (or actual death in your case), you're experiencing a crisis of meaning. As man has gotten to the point where it's quite easy to fulfill all your normal needs (food/water/shelter/sex etc.), we find ourselves looking for new challenges or things to struggle against.
Your meaning is whatever you want it to be, and it may take time to find. Is it writing? Might be. Is it helping people? Could be.
Just go. Do. Try. You'll find it. Or not, but it sure beats the hell out of crying in a chair.






In jeans.

I totally agree with this. Maybe you need to help other people to fill that void you're feeling and doing things for yourself is not that fulfilling. Maybe you could start a writing workshop and teach some kids about something you love to do. It could be more rewarding then you think. I'm not that religious either and I'm sure I’ll get shit for this but maybe going to church could be a good thing. There could be something comforting there. What’s the worst that happens if it’s not for you ?? Going to hell in a hand basket I think now is a good time to try everything and anything with your "second chance".

Best of luck to you.

P.S. Try wearing kakis instead of jeans

[Cyber Cop]

Maybe you were given too much in life? Maybe you never really grew up because of that. Maybe you need to learn to work hard and give more and take less.

But you're the sharpest tool in the shed, so i guess you don't get used enough.

[Cyber Cop]

Maybe you were given too much in life? Maybe you never really grew up because of that. Maybe you need to learn to work hard and give more and take less.

But you're the sharpest tool in the shed, which could mean you're smart, or that you just don't get used enough.

[Roo]

I reckon you need to change your life by doing something REALLY dumb. That's what works for most people in this sort of situation, isn't it? It's time to stop overanalysing these things and ask yourself "What Would A Vacantly Grinning Doofus Do?"

Works for me.

[Helldawg]

God is giving you one more chance to stop being a dick.

[Roo]

God is giving you one more chance to stop being a dick.

[I Dunno]

[Ringo]

[powking12]

Interesting perspectives from everyone.

I'm going to go in the opposite direction a little.

You do owe people shit. You won the birth lottery being born where you were and this in turn gave you the opportunity to be successful. Now you took that opportunity and ran with it, made some money, etc.

I guess most people on here would call me a religious nut. I don't know that I agree with the idea that you were "saved for a reason". However, whether you believe it or not there is a social obligation we all have to work for our local and worldwide community.

And I mean work. It's easy to write a cheque for a little bit to some charity. Go read books for kids at the library. Volunteer your time at a soup kitchen. Go to Haiti and rebuild a hospital, school, well or something. Use the skills that you have (and that I believe the Lord gave you) that made you so successful to give back to the less fortunate. And I don't mean the less fortunate that you think are deserving. But anyone who needs help.

And don't throw out a relationship with Jesus because of organized religion. You don't have to a member of a church. You don't have to tell anyone about it (but you'll want to). Organized churches do not have a good track record of representing Christ at all. For that matter neither do any human beings so don't look at others for inspiration. But I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that my relationship with Christ has changed and continues to change my life. I still struggle a lot but I have an almighty support group who never leaves me.

[haydukelives]

quit dope.
try therapy,maybe cbt
try anti- depressants

do things for other people.

be grateful.

[Tippster]

I think you should continue being a great husband, Dad, friend, and neighbor. Maybe get back into some kind of structured day-life (doesn't need to be a J.O.B.) to take your mind off the grand question.

Start company with me.

Get in line, mollusk.

[klar]

no particularly novel ideas but find something to challenge yourself, be it mentally or physically. learn a new language or how to do a 360, write another book, run a marathon, start painting, whatever. don't be idle, boredome kills.

just before he turned 60, my father took off alone on a 3 month backpacking/trekking trip to nepal and tibet. i think for him that was more or a "i'm starting to feel my age/will need a hip replacement soon etc so i better do this now" thing but maybe an extended trip somewhere you've never been would be something to consider... travel for travelings sake, long plane/train rides are great for soulsearching and philosophical thinkings. if you're going to get rid of the jeans you might as well go all out and try a kilt or a sarong.

you seem cool, hope you feel better soon.

[creaker]

Ok, so you're alive, a genius, have great kids and don't have to work. Sign me up.
How bout appreciating how lucky you are and stop whining.
Someone's gotta be the 5% that lives, and you're one of em. Could be thats all there is to that.

Shit happens, spend some of your pile of loot and take your kids heli-skiing for a few weeks and laugh at poor wretches like me that have to work.

To sum: stop being a navel-gazing pussy and be happy that you dodged a bullet. It isn't that compicated.

[TyWebb]

Do something for somebody else. If smoking fatties and skiing blower out the door of your own place doesn't stop the crying, maybe try helping out other people. See how that feels.

Personally, should I ever be so lucky as to be retired fairly young...I'd like to setup a little tiny office, and take out an ad out in the metro paper that says..."if you've served our country and now need a little help, come to xyz street office.:" - then I would love to just bring people in out of the waiting room one by one and sit down with them for 30 mins and try to help. Whatever I could. My opinion has always been that these blanket social programs for troops are shit because everybody's situation is unique.

So, if they needed more time to pay their gas bill. We'd three way call the gas company, I'd chew them out, get an extension and then maybe pay them up to current to get them back on the right track. Nothing huge, but help with what they needed at the moment.

I had a close buddy who came back from Iraq, had a credit card disaster because of childrens medical problems and unfortunately just did not have the knowledge or skills to get on the phone with the hospital, and the CC company and get it all worked out. I spend three hours on the phone and had all but 1/3 of his medical bills wiped and half his credit card balance forgiven, with the last half on great terms. That experience made me want to do that full time. Thats the skill I have, and thought it would be a good way for me to help.

Anyway...thats what I'd do if I came back from the dead.

[iceman]

Ok, so you're alive, a genius, have great kids and don't have to work. Sign me up.
How bout appreciating how lucky you are and stop whining.
Someone's gotta be the 5% that lives, and you're one of em. Could be thats all there is to that.

Shit happens, spend some of your pile of loot and take your kids heli-skiing for a few weeks and laugh at poor wretches like me that have to work.

To sum: stop being a navel-gazing pussy and be happy that you dodged a bullet. It isn't that compicated.

heh, that's probably the best advice in the thread.

I just came in to get a lighter jacket, there's not a cloud in the fucking sky. It was dark when I wrote that, maybe that was part of it.

I knew some cretins would post but wtf is that guy talking about, "quit dope"?

Tipp are you in Cali still? We'll catch up.

I got some thinking to do, that's all.

"Three little birds"

edit: cool idea, Ty.

[Tippster]

Back since Sat. Call me when you get home.

[splat]

Ice, we're getting together to ski soon, yes?

I have stories to tell you. Like when I woke up and some guy was greasing the paddles to hit me with a couple gigavolts.

[Tippster]

... on your scrotum?

[RootSkier]

Don't get his dreams mixed up with his...you know, stories.

[altagirl]

You just sound bored to me (which tends to make me depressed). I agree with the idea of volunteering. No guilt trip that you should or that you owe anyone or any of that. Just because you can. Start making a list of all sorts of random things that sound vaguely entertaining/interesting to you and then start looking for opportunities to try them out. Volunteer stuff is a great option since you CAN do that and not worry about how you're going to pay the rent.

And quit looking at it like you're trying to figure out the one true purpose in your life and just look around for some new experiences and see where it goes.

[Pow4Brains]

This stuff always cheers me up.

[Chainsaw_Willie]

Obviously I don't know you except for what you've written here (and I find that hugely entertaining, thank you for not dieing) but I think several of the previous posters have touched on important points. First, a near death experience has got to be traumatic so maybe you are dealing with a bit of PTSD. What kind of docs have you gone to? Maybe a therapist, someone who will just listen to you and try to give insight on what you are telling them in lieu of a prescription is what you need.

The other point touched on is to find your passion and pursue it. I gave up a very promising career in the high tech field about 8 years ago because I didn't like it. I vowed then to spend more time doing the things that really make me tick - skiing, fishing, backpacking and to find a career that I enjoyed. Mission accomplished. I'll never be financially well off now but living today is more important to me than a promise of future security that may never come.

Finally, the spiritual thing. You said in the first part of your OP that the condition you had is 90-95% fatal. That means that 5-10% of people survive. Congrats, you are part of that elite minority. I consider myself a spiritual person. I can't help but believe that there is something out there much bigger than us. Maybe I'm just mentally limited but the idea that humanity and the universe is just some random occurrence is too much for me. That said, whatever that higher power is, we have free will and our lives are ruled as much by chance as by intent. I can see no other way to explain why people survive what you did while others are crushed in their car by a falling boulder in a mountain pass.

I dunno if any of that babbling was helpful or not, I can't imagine what you've gone through, but I wish you the best.

[BeanDip4All]

You just sound bored to me (which tends to make me depressed). I agree with the idea of volunteering. No guilt trip that you should or that you owe anyone or any of that. Just because you can. Start making a list of all sorts of random things that sound vaguely entertaining/interesting to you and then start looking for opportunities to try them out. Volunteer stuff is a great option since you CAN do that and not worry about how you're going to pay the rent.

And quit looking at it like you're trying to figure out the one true purpose in your life and just look around for some new experiences and see where it goes.

^^^ this

i was gonna suggest- how about looking into leading writing workshops for kids? mentor those suckers in jeans. maybe set up something like what Dave Eggers has done in SF in DC?

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/826_Valencia[/ame]

also, i think you should keep writing yourself and publish your stuff online. i know scribd.com does online publishing.

i'm happy you're still around and thanks for posting up this thread. the replies were interesting, educational, and funny.

[VTskibum]

Do something, volunteer blah blah blah. Whatever you do make sure you're around for your kids. That's your religion/second chance stuff.

I'm going on a ski trip with my dad in a week and really looking forward to it. He had a similar event (although not nearly as serious) a few years older than you are now, and has made an about face in the health dept. Make sure you do the same for jr, so when he's my age he can say the same thing. [/guilt trip]

Btw - quit hangin out with that Tipp guy, he's a bad influence.

[snow_slider]

also, i think you should keep writing yourself and publish your stuff online. i know scribd.com does online publishing.

I agree. I read one of his books and it was really really good. He should publish under the pseudonym Iski Injeans.