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Thread: Festivus for the rest of us!
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12-23-2009, 01:15 PM #1
Festivus for the rest of us!
shall we begin the airing of grievances?
“When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis
Kindness is a bridge between all people
Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism
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12-23-2009, 01:16 PM #2glocal
- Join Date
- May 2002
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- 33,440
But Fistivus never disappoints....
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12-23-2009, 01:20 PM #3“When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis
Kindness is a bridge between all people
Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism
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12-23-2009, 01:22 PM #4glocal
- Join Date
- May 2002
- Posts
- 33,440
Big air smoochie for you, KQ!
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12-23-2009, 01:25 PM #5Zen Master
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
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- ask the midget
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- 2,496
I have grievances.
KQ has a barn, and hasn't once asked me to muck about in it.
Merry Festivus all!
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12-23-2009, 01:57 PM #6“When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis
Kindness is a bridge between all people
Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism
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12-23-2009, 02:11 PM #7Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2006
- Location
- colorado springs
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- 61
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12-23-2009, 02:47 PM #8
We had a festivus party in college: Drunkest I've ever been. Got in a jousting match with the aluminum poles we had placed about. Less than good idea.
The episode was on last night. Perhaps the best episode.
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12-23-2009, 03:18 PM #9
Feats of strength!
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12-23-2009, 03:29 PM #10
I have a lot of problems with you!
You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.
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12-23-2009, 04:26 PM #11
FEATS OF STRENGTH
FEATS OF STRENGTH
FEATS OF STRENGTH
FEATS OF STRENGTH
FEATS OF STRENGTH
nobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelholy fucking shitballs
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12-23-2009, 08:30 PM #12
[Setting: H&H Bagel Shop]
FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?
KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?
FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!
KRAMER: What happened to the doll?
FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"
KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.
FRANK: She was.
And now, my airing of grievances:
Armada: I ordered those JJs on pro-form in OCTOBER!!!! Where the fuck are they?!?
Colorado Weather: FAIL. Almost makes ^^^ a non-issue.
Michigan Wolverines: Great football season.
Detroit Lions: ^^^^
Detroit Tigers: Way to trade my favorite player.
Alright...that's enough for now.
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12-23-2012, 02:07 PM #13Banned
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
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- Splat's Garage
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- 4,197
Airing of grievances?
Happy Festivus!
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12-23-2012, 02:18 PM #14Funky But Chic
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- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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- 49,306
The Festivus Wiki is pretty amusing.
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12-23-2012, 04:01 PM #15
Where is the bitter little fruit?
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12-23-2012, 04:14 PM #16Funky But Chic
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
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- The Cone of Uncertainty
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12-23-2017, 11:49 AM #17
Bump for Festivus! Who else has a sweet ass aluminum pole with maximum strength to weight ratio?
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12-23-2017, 11:58 AM #18
Let the airing of grievances begin!
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12-23-2017, 12:14 PM #19
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12-23-2017, 12:25 PM #20
i'm grieving the entire region east of the Mississippi and west of the Adirondacks and the very existence of skiing within it.....
If there were no skiing here, I wouldn't be compelled to spend hundreds of dollars on The Worst Skiing Possible and face inevitable crises of "Do I just Quit Skiing" or "Do I Insist on Moving and Force Hardship on My Family Just To Ski Better Terrain". If there were no skiing here at all I'd have about $1000 a year to do something else. But because there's skiing here, I'm virtually forced to go ski The Worst Skiing Possible (yesterday was told "this ski area's policy is all non-groomed areas are closed") out of some kind of sickness because if there's skiing happening I have to go ski, even if it just pisses me off to see the retarded way these fucking hillbillies handle skiing here.
I'm also grieving this:
Every fucking day here it snows, but only like a hundredth of an inch, so every fucking day we scrape windshields, drive on slippery roads, slip and fall on our ass on stairways and shit, but there's still only like 5" of snowpack, god damn grass showing, and it's almost January. This is a violation. This is a grievance.
I'm also grieving the lack of any backcountry skiing options nearby, and the enclosure of the local ski jumping hill, which would suffice as backcountry, with virtually impenetrable prison-style fencing.
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12-23-2017, 04:29 PM #21
I don't like that smelly Santa and his lap is wet.
watch out for snakes
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12-23-2017, 05:41 PM #22
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12-23-2017, 07:33 PM #23
Stop crying and fight your father!
“I really lack the words to compliment myself today.” - Alberto Tomba
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12-23-2017, 08:02 PM #24
well then.
so are we onto the feats of strength then?
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12-23-2017, 08:20 PM #25
We decided to go formal and announce our grievances by standing and intoning solemnly, "I am aggrieved!" The 4 year old niece was a little then aback by my first one, but in my defense, she did move my chair while I was up and probably deserved to be called out for it.
I was also aggrieved that we finished the feats of strength early by throwing stuff at the thinnest part of the ice in a nearby creek. They were fine feats, but now we will never know when Festivus is actually over. Maybe the girls will wrestle during digestion and we'll have our Festivus miracle. Oh, well, here's the aforementioned pole: 3" of DOM 6061-T6 just as God and Frank Costanza intended:
A woman came up to me and said "I'd like to poison your mind
with wrong ideas that appeal to you, though I am not unkind."
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