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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    15,714

    Festivus for the rest of us!

    shall we begin the airing of grievances?

    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    30,589
    But Fistivus never disappoints....

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    15,714
    Quote Originally Posted by splat View Post
    But Fistivus never disappoints....
    Merry Christmas Pat! Love ya!
    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    30,589
    Big air smoochie for you, KQ!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    ask the midget
    Posts
    2,484
    I have grievances.

    KQ has a barn, and hasn't once asked me to muck about in it.

    Merry Festivus all!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    EWA
    Posts
    15,714
    Quote Originally Posted by frozenwater View Post
    I have grievances.

    KQ has a barn, and hasn't once asked me to muck about in it.

    Merry Festivus all!
    Oh now, now...you're always welcome in my muck
    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    colorado springs
    Posts
    60

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Not Philly
    Posts
    4,496
    We had a festivus party in college: Drunkest I've ever been. Got in a jousting match with the aluminum poles we had placed about. Less than good idea.

    The episode was on last night. Perhaps the best episode.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    slc
    Posts
    11,541
    Feats of strength!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    the wasteland
    Posts
    3,182
    I have a lot of problems with you!
    You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    fuck Grouse
    Posts
    1,764
    FEATS OF STRENGTH
    FEATS OF STRENGTH
    FEATS OF STRENGTH
    FEATS OF STRENGTH
    FEATS OF STRENGTH



    nobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagelnobagel
    holy fucking shitballs

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    da eskalaterz
    Posts
    1,187
    [Setting: H&H Bagel Shop]

    FRANK: Kramer, I got your message. I haven't celebrated Festivus in years! What is your interest?

    KRAMER: Well, just tell me everything, huh?

    FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way!

    KRAMER: What happened to the doll?

    FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"

    KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.

    FRANK: She was.

    And now, my airing of grievances:

    Armada: I ordered those JJs on pro-form in OCTOBER!!!! Where the fuck are they?!?
    Colorado Weather: FAIL. Almost makes ^^^ a non-issue.
    Michigan Wolverines: Great football season.
    Detroit Lions: ^^^^
    Detroit Tigers: Way to trade my favorite player.

    Alright...that's enough for now.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Splat's Garage
    Posts
    3,497
    Airing of grievances?

    Happy Festivus!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    48,646
    The Festivus Wiki is pretty amusing.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    170
    Where is the bitter little fruit?

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    The Cone of Uncertainty
    Posts
    48,646
    Quote Originally Posted by I Am Mr. Ed View Post
    Where is the bitter little fruit?
    In the next stall with Wilbur?

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,176
    Bump for Festivus! Who else has a sweet ass aluminum pole with maximum strength to weight ratio?

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    11,243

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    170
    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    Let the airing of grievances begin!
    Wilbur is being very stingy with my oats.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    11,243
    i'm grieving the entire region east of the Mississippi and west of the Adirondacks and the very existence of skiing within it.....

    If there were no skiing here, I wouldn't be compelled to spend hundreds of dollars on The Worst Skiing Possible and face inevitable crises of "Do I just Quit Skiing" or "Do I Insist on Moving and Force Hardship on My Family Just To Ski Better Terrain". If there were no skiing here at all I'd have about $1000 a year to do something else. But because there's skiing here, I'm virtually forced to go ski The Worst Skiing Possible (yesterday was told "this ski area's policy is all non-groomed areas are closed") out of some kind of sickness because if there's skiing happening I have to go ski, even if it just pisses me off to see the retarded way these fucking hillbillies handle skiing here.

    I'm also grieving this:
    Every fucking day here it snows, but only like a hundredth of an inch, so every fucking day we scrape windshields, drive on slippery roads, slip and fall on our ass on stairways and shit, but there's still only like 5" of snowpack, god damn grass showing, and it's almost January. This is a violation. This is a grievance.

    I'm also grieving the lack of any backcountry skiing options nearby, and the enclosure of the local ski jumping hill, which would suffice as backcountry, with virtually impenetrable prison-style fencing.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    16,353
    I don't like that smelly Santa and his lap is wet.
    watch out for snakes

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    BZN
    Posts
    992
    Quote Originally Posted by ill-advised strategy View Post
    some kind of sickness because if there's skiing happening I have to go ski, even if it just pisses me off
    This is the story of my life. It's a compulsion.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    lake level
    Posts
    1,239
    Stop crying and fight your father!
    “I really lack the words to compliment myself today.” - Alberto Tomba

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    YetiMan
    Posts
    11,243
    well then.

    so are we onto the feats of strength then?

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    3,176
    We decided to go formal and announce our grievances by standing and intoning solemnly, "I am aggrieved!" The 4 year old niece was a little then aback by my first one, but in my defense, she did move my chair while I was up and probably deserved to be called out for it.

    I was also aggrieved that we finished the feats of strength early by throwing stuff at the thinnest part of the ice in a nearby creek. They were fine feats, but now we will never know when Festivus is actually over. Maybe the girls will wrestle during digestion and we'll have our Festivus miracle. Oh, well, here's the aforementioned pole: 3" of DOM 6061-T6 just as God and Frank Costanza intended:

    Click image for larger version. 

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    "A good plan, violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week." -Patton

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