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  1. #101
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    Dec 2007
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    the Can-Utardia / LMCC VT
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    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    Nah I saw her, then my "best friend" fucked her...

    you are all kinds of butthurt, huh, big guy?

    Don't worry about your "best friend" fucking her, just means she puts out.

    ...But srsly, take Splats advice and get the fuck out of AK
    Quote Originally Posted by Hohes View Post
    I couldn't give a fuck, but today I am procrastinating so TGR is my filler.
    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    faceshots are a powerful currency
    get paid

  2. #102
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    641
    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    Nah I saw her, then my "best friend" fucked her...
    AK rules apply, you don't lose your girlfriend, you lose your turn.

  3. #103
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,774
    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    Nah I saw her, then my "best friend" fucked her...
    Which is exactly what you would have done had you had the chance. Dont blame him or her for getting what they want just because you couldn't......
    Goals for the season: -Try and pick up a sponsor.--Phill

    But whatever scares you most... --Rip'nStick

  4. #104
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    LV-426
    Posts
    21,123
    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    Nah I saw her, then my "best friend" fucked her...
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  5. #105
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Home of the High Peaks
    Posts
    452
    Quote Originally Posted by runethechamp View Post
    Dear AKPM. Don't send dead fish to the lady you want to leave you alone, even if it is some salmon you fished yourself. If you really want her to leave you alone you just have to do the same thing yourself.
    copy this! she reads that rant and your stock plumments dude
    Just breathe

  6. #106
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Myers
    Posts
    682
    There have been so many fucking funny posts, but this is easily the post of the thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by carvedog View Post
    Fuck dude. Move on. I mean I'd do her, but really..........

    Saying shit like "I want those four years back"....no you don't you would be gay by now. You think you have it bad......sack up, it's just a broken heart. It's part of joining the human fucking race. You wanna fall in love? Great, you're gonna get stepped on. It happens. This is just "love" whatever the fuck that means.
    This is a pay-to-play situation. You wanna be an old, bitter, lonely, single jackoff? Then keep it up, you'll get there.

    If you don't have some friends, make some. Hang out with them.
    Recklessly chase every single woman you see on the street. Use Nihiles line - Nice shoes, wanna fuck.
    And ski your fucking ass off.
    To sit and wallow in your self-imposed misery is fucked. Thinking is not what you need right now. Doing is what you need. Don't think. Do.

    Go volunteer at the cancer ward if you wanna see some pain.
    "She loved snow...That was the simple objective, being airborne, up longer, higher, more casually and with more fuckoff elegance than anyone else...Such endeavours require a kind of egotism, a near autistic narrowness. Everything conspires against you, the habits of physics, the impulse to flee and you're weighted down by every dollop of commonsense ever dished up. Everyone will tell you your goal is impossible, pointless, stupid, wasteful. This idiot resolve is all you have."
    -Tim Winton

  7. #107
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    in a frozen jungle
    Posts
    2,370
    you really need to get out of that one-horse-town your in!!!
    Scientists now have decisive molecular evidence that humans and chimpanzees once had a common momma and that this lineage had previously split from monkeys.

  8. #108
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    In Anchortown looking to get my career on track
    Posts
    4,725
    Quote Originally Posted by Svengali View Post
    you really need to get out of that one-horse-town your in!!!
    I thought it was a one Brit town?
    Our world is full of surrender at the first sign of adversity, do not give up when the challenge meets you, meet the challenge. Through perseverance comes the rewards, the rewards that make life so enjoyable.

    Seize the day, trusting little in the future.

    if you want something, go after it. if you want to screw someone over, look DEEP in your heart and realize Karma is a bitch

    http://arcticcycles.com

  9. #109
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    33,440
    Quote Originally Posted by carvedog View Post
    Fuck dude. Move on. I mean I'd do her, but really..........

    Saying shit like "I want those four years back"....no you don't you would be gay by now. You think you have it bad......sack up, it's just a broken heart. It's part of joining the human fucking race. You wanna fall in love? Great, you're gonna get stepped on. It happens. This is just "love" whatever the fuck that means.
    This is a pay-to-play situation. You wanna be an old, bitter, lonely, single jackoff? Then keep it up, you'll get there.

    If you don't have some friends, make some. Hang out with them.
    Recklessly chase every single woman you see on the street. Use Nihiles line - Nice shoes, wanna fuck.
    And ski your fucking ass off.
    To sit and wallow in your self-imposed misery is fucked. Thinking is not what you need right now. Doing is what you need. Don't think. Do.

    Go volunteer at the cancer ward if you wanna see some pain.
    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    some good suggestions, all easier said than done
    Are you fukking kidding? You coulda knocked her up (maybe you did.....whoooa) and ended up eating rotten salmon guts at the circus in Anchorage to make child support so you'd stay out of jail. If you have more than 86 people in your village, you should have a good alias to tell these girls. Try Howie Feldersnatch for starters and see if you don't meet more women.

  10. #110
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    East Coast
    Posts
    2,426
    All I can say is I must really have been gone way to long. I actually thought we were done watching young Patrick grow up.
    Fresh Tracks are the ultimate graffitti.
    Schmear

    Set forth the pattern to succeed.
    Sam Kavanagh

    Friends of Tuckerman Ravine

  11. #111
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    4,101
    Quote Originally Posted by My Pet Powder Goat View Post
    you are all kinds of butthurt, huh, big guy?

    Don't worry about your "best friend" fucking her, just means she puts out.

    ...But srsly, take Splats advice and get the fuck out of AK
    Or at least take an invite to Reno for some time

  12. #112
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Stuck in perpetual Meh
    Posts
    35,247
    Quote Originally Posted by H-man View Post
    All I can say is I must really have been gone way to long. I actually thought we were done watching young Patrick grow up.
    It's like you were the Dad who went to buy smokes and never came back... until now.

    Where the fuck were you, Dad? Did you know I was waiting for you to play catch w/me? DID YOU KNOW THAT????!!!!

  13. #113
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    New Hampshire
    Posts
    4,101
    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster View Post
    It's like you were the Dad who went to buy smokes and never came back... until now.

    Where the fuck were you, Dad? Did you know I was waiting for you to play catch w/me? DID YOU KNOW THAT????!!!!
    Have you ever fucked a trout in the mouth? It occupies a person.

  14. #114
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    the Can-Utardia / LMCC VT
    Posts
    11,494
    Quote Originally Posted by trainnvain View Post
    Have you ever fucked a trout in the mouth? It occupies a person.
    Holy shit! LOLD
    Quote Originally Posted by Hohes View Post
    I couldn't give a fuck, but today I am procrastinating so TGR is my filler.
    Quote Originally Posted by skifishbum View Post
    faceshots are a powerful currency
    get paid

  15. #115
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Posts
    339
    I read this yesterday and thought it might help in this thread:

    Beautiful 25 Year Old Girl


    hey guys, read this posting from this girl on Craigslist and one of the responses below....thought you would enjoy.

    ORIGINAL INQUIRY
    THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
    What am I doing wrong?
    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
    I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think
    I'm overreaching at all.
    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?
    Here are my questions specifically:
    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms
    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
    feelings
    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
    there?
    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
    MARRIAGE ONLY
    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
    about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
    able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
    other commercial interests
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    PostingID: 432279810
    THE ANSWER
    She gets a response...
    PostingID: 432279810
    THE ANSWER
    Dear Pers-431649184:
    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
    see it.
    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
    be getting any more beautiful!
    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
    to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
    you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
    Classic "pump and dump."
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
    lease, let me know.

  16. #116
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Jongistan
    Posts
    5,313
    ^^Pure fucking gold^^

    Sort of reads like a Sugarbush snow report...
    Quote Originally Posted by Tunco perfectly summarizing TGR View Post
    It is like Days of Our Lives', but with retards.

  17. #117
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    33,546
    Quote Originally Posted by dk_alaskan View Post
    I thought it was a one Brit town?
    Just for the record.

    I will not, have not, nor would want to ever fuck AKPM.

    Nor him me neither I'm sure.

  18. #118
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Alpy/Stevens
    Posts
    1,299
    Quote Originally Posted by mattitude View Post
    Stuff.
    Hah, good stuff.
    eating and sleeping is serious business

  19. #119
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Outside the cube
    Posts
    6,941

    Talking

    Hah! I go get me some shut-eye and when I come back there's trout-fucking, long lost dads, and craigslist ads. This thred is like the gift that keeps on giving!

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  20. #120
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    In Anchortown looking to get my career on track
    Posts
    4,725
    Quote Originally Posted by snowsprite View Post
    Hah! I go get me some shut-eye and when I come back there's trout-fucking, long lost dads, and craigslist ads. This thred is like the gift that keeps on giving!

    Sprite
    and that can't be cured by penicillin or aspirin.
    Our world is full of surrender at the first sign of adversity, do not give up when the challenge meets you, meet the challenge. Through perseverance comes the rewards, the rewards that make life so enjoyable.

    Seize the day, trusting little in the future.

    if you want something, go after it. if you want to screw someone over, look DEEP in your heart and realize Karma is a bitch

    http://arcticcycles.com

  21. #121
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Terra Firma
    Posts
    1,370
    Quote Originally Posted by mattitude View Post
    I read this yesterday and thought it might help in this thread:

    Beautiful 25 Year Old Girl


    hey guys, read this posting from this girl on Craigslist and one of the responses below....thought you would enjoy.

    ORIGINAL INQUIRY
    THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST
    What am I doing wrong?
    Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
    (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
    I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
    least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
    that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think
    I'm overreaching at all.
    Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
    you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
    200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
    me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
    to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
    I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
    get to her level?
    Here are my questions specifically:
    - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
    restaurants, gyms
    -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
    feelings
    -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
    - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
    side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
    nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
    gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
    there?
    - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
    banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
    hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
    - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
    MARRIAGE ONLY
    Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
    way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
    about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
    able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
    nice home and hearth.
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or
    other commercial interests
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    PostingID: 432279810
    THE ANSWER
    She gets a response...
    PostingID: 432279810
    THE ANSWER
    Dear Pers-431649184:
    I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
    about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
    Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
    bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
    see it.
    Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
    cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
    suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
    my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
    money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
    that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
    be getting any more beautiful!
    So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
    asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
    accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
    hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
    earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
    So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
    and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
    to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
    you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
    to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
    as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
    Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
    I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
    as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
    believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
    hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
    By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
    we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
    With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
    Classic "pump and dump."
    I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
    lease, let me know.
    Bottomlined, with a red sharpie...

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