WWMD? Your buddy's wife messin around...

[mnflyfish]

I suppose it's more what should I have done. My best friend has been going through a terrible time with his wife of 20 years. She told him she's no longer in love with him, wishes she didn't have their 5 kids, and wanted out. After a bunch of therepy they deceided to call it a day and get a divorce. He will get the house and kids, and she's free to go out and "find herself". Throughout all of this she has maintained there's no one else. Well that is until the someone else posted his declariation of love to her on her Facebook page. Now I happened to notice this, and thinking I would want to know if it was me, passed the info along to my buddy. He's not surprised and figures it will be a little more leverage when they get the lawyers together. She has been harassing my non-stop via phone and email telling me how I've ruined her life. My response was "I think you've done a fine job of that all on your own, only problem is you also brought alone 5 kids for the ride".

Now I'm feeling slightly guilty for letting my buddy in on this, and I know I'm right. It is still a Bros before Hoes world right?

[Ringo]

I'd want the heads up. Not that it really matters though, sounds like the facebook bit is just one small part of a much bigger problem. Doesn't sound like custody or assets are really on the line either so I dunno how much impact it'll have on the situation.

[Viva]

He's not surprised and figures it will be a little more leverage when they get the lawyers together.

Sounds like he's cool with it, perhaps even grateful for this "revelation".

No reason to feel guilt. After 20 years of living with a guy, she ought to be familiar with "Bro Rules".

[Sparky]

[powbmps]

Shitty situation, but it sounds like you did the right thing. He should know that it was going on, and it can only help him if things get nasty.

[Tye 1on]

Reading that 'he wasn't surprised' kinda takes the heat off imho. Wouldn't he likely of noticed that eventually on his own? If the dude is posting on her FB, he's likely also already left a lot of other emails/texts etc that could also be used [couldn't it?]. Sounds like he's dealing with it better than many...and i'm sure he appreciates your support...

[Yukonrider]

You did the right thing, same thing I'd have done.

[cramer]

bro's before ho's. Tell here to fek off and i would have done the same thing.

[sftc]

...Now I'm feeling slightly guilty for letting my buddy in on this, and I know I'm right. It is still a Bros before Hoes world right?

If she did that to you in a couple of weeks how do you think he feels after 20 years of living with her? She sounds like a non-violent version of the asshole who beats up his girlfriend and then makes her apologize for making him angry.

[The Dad]

Facebook != Vegas.

What happens there is out for the world to see.

It'd be one thing if you were making shit up or spreading rumors. If the truth "ruins her life," there's not that much you can do about it. There are very few people I'm willing to lie for, and none of them are my buddies' soon-to-be-ex-wives.

[hutash]

Since when is something posted on facebook not public. Had she called you up and told you in all confidence this info I would agree with her. Passing along something on facebook is public domain. Tell her to was the sand out of her vagina and leave you alone. She ruined her life, not you.

[Donkey Punch]

Had she called you up and told you in all confidence this info I would agree with her.

Only if she was his best friend, and not her Husbands. If my wife ever called any of my friends and told them that same thing, I would expect them to tell me.

[timnormandin]

Fuck that noise! The fucking douche put it on his facebook page. End of story. You've got nothing to feel guilty about. She's a cheater and he's a dumb fuck. They prolly deserve each other. Life is its own reward.

[LightRanger]

You did the right thing.

I read a great article a while back about FB/MySpace being major fodder for divorce lawyers. Case-in-point.

[grskier]

good stuff....

you were right, don't fret, she is the idiot that posted for all of her "friends" to see.

[mock vomit]

Hell... unless you took some vow of secrecy (implicit if you were hittin' said buddies wife yerself IMHO);

-she's the one who did the deeds that led to this revelation...

-she screwed up by keeping her soon to be ex's buddy (you) a FB friend...

-her new male friend screwed up by posting such things in a public space like FB...

I say you did fine by your buddy... that's what counts here.

Oh, and although I'm not a betting man, I bet she comes back in some year soon to apologize and look for a role in co-raising the kids... which the courts are likely to allow, and which is what would probably be best for the kids in the long run anyway. I think you might want to tell the Buddy this part too... but who cares what I think.

[dumpy]

First off you totally did the right thing, you were watching out for your buddy when somebody was doing him wrong. Doesn't matter who it was, you had your friend's back. Good on ya for that.

Second, I wouldn't say this falls under the jurisdiction of "bros before hoes". A more applicable situation for B vs. H legislation would be if your buddies soon to be ex wife was posting shit to your facebook and you were contemplating whether or not to take the skin boat to tuna town. In said situation, under "bros vs. hoes" rule number one (bros before hoes), you would be obligated to stay the fuck away from her and let your buddy know of her indiscretions.
Then again, I'm no bro lawyer, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night.

[Tippster]

5 kids. That's a clown car.

[haydukelives]

do you really mean wwmd?
sharia law.....stones......bye-bye

[Hong Jong Fuey]

You're in the right. She and the facebook douche are in the wrong. No guilt on your part. You ruined nothing, she ruined everything. 5 kids and she get the feeling that she never wanted the kids now? F'in physco.

[smitchell333]

Do you really even need to ask this question?

[L7]

If she should be pissed off at any one it's the idiot posting the declaration on her facebook page. No point being pissed at him there since she's currently enamoured with his 'love muscle'. it all makes perfect sense, so it must be your fault since you are the one that read it on the wildly popular and totally public facebook page.

[Tippster]

"I can't believe you told him about XXX declaring his love for me on my facebook page."

"I can't believe you're a fucking whore who is bailing on her children just to get some strange cock."

[mnflyfish]

Sounds like he's dealing with it better than many...and i'm sure he appreciates your support...

He is doing pretty well considering. When she first told him she was "no longer in love with him" and that she was trapped in a life she didn't want, he rightfully went off the deep end for a few days. Then, he pulled his shit together and deceided he was a father first and was responsible for making his kid's journey through this as easy as he could. He's a real step up type of guy and this might all come crashing in on him one day. But for the moment he's keeping the focus on the one thing he can have an impact on, the kids.

I'm more disappointed in his wife than I am angry. Every parent has their moments when they second guess the path they took. Hell everytime I see a great TR from some of you I think back to my decision to get back to the midwest, start the career, and settle down. But then my kids come running through and ask me (in July!!!) if we can go out to the garage and tune skis and I forget all about living the "dream" and think I did the right thing. I frankly don't understand how a parent just up and walks, let alone a mom. Fortunately for these kids there is a Dad committed to doing whatever it takes to raise some great kids.

[XXX-er]

"I can't believe you told him about XXX declaring his love for me on my facebook page."
."

I just want to make clear , there is no "_er" ... SO, XXX is not me

And NO ,IMO the OP should mind his own fucking business

IN GENERAL ,when buddy splits up with his S.O. you don't go and say "you are better off " or "sally was a whore anyway " you keep your fucking mouth shut

and why would this be ?

because they could get back together

and then YOU are the asshole cuz you said all that nasty shit about sally-the-whore ...let them work it out themselves