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  1. #76
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    114
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer View Post
    "The dude got one response, from my old roommate offering to knock up his wife for a plane ticket and a case of Natural Light. But the best part is he is now leaving his wife for a woman with 3 kids."
    Now that is great.

    [/thread]

  2. #77
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    crown of the continent
    Posts
    13,953
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer View Post
    I don't really know this guy, met him at a wedding and had a few drinks, played golf with him and the wedding party.

    But it gets better. His email is several months old so I checked in with a mutual friend (the one who had the wedding) to see what has happened. Here is his email. . .

    "The dude got one response, from my old roommate offering to knock up his wife for a plane ticket and a case of Natural Light. But the best part is he is now leaving his wife for a woman with 3 kids."
    you couldn't write this shit any better...
    Something about the wrinkle in your forehead tells me there's a fit about to get thrown
    And I never hear a single word you say when you tell me not to have my fun
    It's the same old shit that I ain't gonna take off anyone.
    and I never had a shortage of people tryin' to warn me about the dangers I pose to myself.

    Patterson Hood of the DBT's

  3. #78
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Bottom feeding
    Posts
    7,064
    I hate morons.

  4. #79
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    What's today's date?
    Posts
    2,390
    Joe,

    You really need to stay in touch with this guy, because about 6 months from now his new wife, the breeder with the kids, will be "miraculously" pregnant and 9 months after that she will have a baby that looks nothing like him, but suspiciously like the pool boy or the neighbor. And he'll still call it a miracle. And then she'll leave him.
    # # #

    "...You must be a big skier then." I said "no, I'm a petite size 2." Awkward silence.... - Parvo

    Heard Hugh lost a testy in the tram line at Kitzbühel via altercation with the local monoboard team circa '93. Has been bitter about game theory since.- Klauss

  5. #80
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    17,979
    Quote Originally Posted by JoeStrummer View Post
    But the best part is he is now leaving his wife for a woman with 3 kids.
    This seems to be a common thread among people who ask for others to pray for them. I guess they can always ask God for forgiveness.

  6. #81
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Jongcomissioned
    Posts
    1,072
    Quote Originally Posted by Blurred View Post
    Wow.
    Do you guys ever think about anything or just gaze at colorful objects in between sessions of mopping up your slobber puddles?

    A huge percentage of your life is spent trying to pass on your genes.
    I could go into that.......attraction to pretty women/being good at whatever or wealthy/powerful/funny etc etc to attract those women is only from your fundamental desire to pass on your genes. Duuuuuhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrr..
    Ohhhhh!!! I get it now.

    But let me see if I can interpret....why do chicks go out with ugly, belligerent, egotistical assholes....must be because they know that that way they'll never ever be tempted to procreate with these cretins. Makes sense now.

    Thanks!!

  7. #82
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
    Posts
    16,045
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Jongalot View Post
    Ohhhhh!!! I get it now.

    But let me see if I can interpret....why do chicks go out with ugly, belligerent, egotistical assholes....must be because they know that that way they'll never ever be tempted to procreate with these cretins. Makes sense now.

    Thanks!!
    You're ugly and belligerent?

    Don't forget massively butthurt as well.

    Seriously, how does someone who only posts on the internet get you sooooo butthurt? You must be really pathetic.
    Follow me on Instagram

    brett.mcnary

  8. #83
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    What's today's date?
    Posts
    2,390
    # # #

    "...You must be a big skier then." I said "no, I'm a petite size 2." Awkward silence.... - Parvo

    Heard Hugh lost a testy in the tram line at Kitzbühel via altercation with the local monoboard team circa '93. Has been bitter about game theory since.- Klauss

  9. #84
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Jongcomissioned
    Posts
    1,072
    Quote Originally Posted by Blurred View Post
    You're ugly and belligerent?

    Don't forget massively butthurt as well.

    Seriously, how does someone who only posts on the internet get you sooooo butthurt? You must be really pathetic.
    I'm not offended. Just calling them as I see them. Why does that make YOU so butthurt?

  10. #85
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Colorado Cartel HQ
    Posts
    16,045
    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Jongalot View Post
    I'm not offended. Just calling them as I see them. Why does that make YOU so butthurt?
    Quit projecting already
    Location: Blurreds craw

    You've had that for years.

    Sir Jongalot=butthurt faceless loser that spends his life posting on message boards NOT to meet people but to STALK them and get BUTTHURT while attempting to live vicariously through them as he lives on the EAST COAST. MORON. HAHAHAHA!!!!
    Follow me on Instagram

    brett.mcnary

  11. #86
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    6,042
    Quote Originally Posted by fallguy View Post
    i'm sorry i have no money to donate today. but, what i am willing to do is make make a donation of semen, delivered directly to her cervix, at no cost to anyone.
    your welcome in advance.
    Dude... What if she's a hirsute 400 lbs?
    ...Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain...

    "I enjoy skinny skiing, bullfights on acid..." - Lacy Underalls

    The problems we face will not be solved by the minds that created them.

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    n to the h
    Posts
    845
    Quote Originally Posted by The AD View Post
    I guess a more comparable scenario would be asking for money for a vasectomy. The idea of praying for someone's vasectomy is even funnier!
    I have a story of a friend who's parent's paid for their son-in-laws vasectomy after the third child. He waited a while to schedule surgery, and in the meantime his wife got pregnant again.

    He had hell of a time explaining how that happened. "WTF did you do with the money we sent you?"

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