New Mexico is full of PSYCHOS and MORONs

**summit** · 07-20-2009, 07:01 PM

What’s wrong with New Mexico? I hadn’t been there since I was 6. Maybe it was just bad luck, but three days of encountering nothing but psychotics, idiots, and annoying people was rather shocking for my girlfriend and I. I can’t say I’ve ever had an experience like this before.

Everyone drives SLOW:
Also, what is the deal with New Mexico drivers? Most states complain about out of state drivers gawking and driving slowly and erratically. Coloradans love to complain about CA and TX plates. Utards love to complain aboutt CO plates. Montana yells about everyone. In New Mexico, it is the NM plates that are the problem. It seems to be part of their culture to ALWAYS drive 10-15mph below the posted limit… and not just a few of them… MOST of them do this. 30 in a 45 seemed the norm. These people were the least of our problems.

THESE EXPERIENCES GET PROGRESSIVELY WORSE!

Bike Shop Brilliance:

Me: “Good Morning. Do you run bike shuttles for South Boundary or know which shops do that?”
Bike Shop: “Oh… uh… did you try calling the chamber of commerce?”
Me: “Yea… Thanks…”

There were a lot of instances with blank stares from shops to restaurants… people who seemed to have a lot of trouble understanding day to day activities. Maybe there was something in the water. I’m just accustomed to people having a certain level of knowing what they are doing.

Nobody rides DH at Angelfire:

No trail descriptions. No other bikers.

Me: Hi! We only have one DH bike. I only see blues and blacks. Do people run these on 4” XC bikes?
Employee 1: I dunno. Maybe.
Me: OK, well if I wanted to find a run with berms and rock gardens, which would I run?
Employee 1: I dunno. Ask at the lift.
Employee 2: I’m not sure. Ask the guy at the top of the lift.
Employee 3: I don’t ride here. Ask the guys at the restaurant.
Employee 4: No clue. Ask him.
Employee 5: I don’t ride here, but a tourist told me that Combi was an easy run.
Me: Screw it! I’m going!

I ran World Cup, Boogie, and Sierra. Angelfire: Fun, long, completely empty, and staffed by know-nothings. It’s not as good as Keystone or Sol Vista.

Psycho Biker:

One of the two other DH bikers I saw the whole time I was at Angelfire came to his truck, threw his bike, and went into a five minute tirade:
Example: “WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY ARE YOU ****ING WITH ME? YOU USED TO BE SO NICE! HOW CAN YOU TREAT ME LIKE ****? I HATE YOU SO MUCH!”
It apparently sounded like he was breaking up with his girlfriend, except that he was talking to his bike. Then I arrived…

Psycho Biker: “****ing ********! Two flat tires! And my friends are nowhere! NOWHERE! What the ****? I need CO2 cartridges. Do you have any?”
Me: “No, sorry. I’d tell you to ask at the desk, but they might now know what you are talking about. I have a pump you can use.”
Psycho Biker: “Goddamnit! This is some ****!”

It went on like that so we left.

Bike Shop Morons: (do not do business with Gearing Up Bicycle Shop )

Before going to Angelfire, I stepped into this shop to find out about shuttles. They were having massive ADD moments. They couldn’t pay attention to any customers for more than 30 seconds or in any order, and there were only four customers with two employees! I was in there for 20 minutes to get a simple question answered.

Employee: “We are the only legitimate shuttle operation in town.”
Me: “Sweet. When does your next shuttle leave?”
Employee: “We only have one and it left at 7AM and we don’t always run it.”
Me: “How about tomorrow?”
Employee: “Uh…. I don’t know. I’ll check.”

He tries to help two other customers at the same time then goes to the back room, then LEAVES THE SHOP. I wait for 5 or 10 minutes to ask the other employee, then the first one returns.

Employee: “There’s room. Just call us back later to make sure we are doing it.”
Me: “I will. Say, I was told that if you shuttle to the middle it’s all downhill. One of our XC bikes is out of service. Would a DH bike work OK or is there climbing?”
Employee: “That’ll work great. It’s all downhill from Garcia Park.”

I call back twice and leave messages saying we want to go still. I call at 4PM:

Owner: “Sorry, the shuttle is full. A group of six took it.”
Me: “I was in there earlier asking for it, was told there was room if it ran. I did what your guys said to do and left you messages. You booted everyone and put a later group in for the same price? You couldn’t even call me back to tell me? I’ll be sure to let everyone know how you do business!”
Owner: “Well, we didn’t check our messages. Would you all have even paid?”
Me: “You didn’t have your **** together enough to answer the phone or check your messages in the last 7 hours and you are asking if I would have paid?”

Gearing Up Bicycle Shop sucks. Avoid them at all costs.

Other Weirdness:

In the Taos Plaza: creepy homeless looking dudes walking around staring at us… like full neck swivels as they walked. Creepy…

Hot Springs Hike: both groups we encountered hiking worked at staying clear of us.

Psycho Dog Abuser:

While searching for the South Boundary Trail, I waved down a guy driving his nice new blue SUV. I asked him if he had seen any signs. Instead of answering me, he grabbed the dog by its ear and yanked it forward in-between the front seats, then slammed it’s head down on the center console, and started violently yanking and shoving on its face screaming, “I’M SICK OF YOUR ****!” Then he turned to me and said, “I’m out of here,” and drove off. WTF?

South Boundary Trail – Gearing Up Bicycle Shop Morons Strike Again:

NOT a DH trail. Not dowhnhill. Uphill and mostly flat, with some downhill at the very end. That was a lot of pedaling on a DH Sled. We would have gotten the second XC bike working if the moron at Gearing Up hadn’t said it was good to go DH. Ugh, what a workout. 4” is all you need on that trail. Very cool trail though!

Psycho Gang Banger Gonna Bust a Cap in My Ass

Driving down from the trailhead is 7 miles of well maintained dirt road that you can do 30mph on. We quickly got behind a pickup driving in the middle of the road doing about 15mph and 5-10mph on the corners. Usually people like this pull over and let you pass. Well this guy, after noticing us, tried to speed up on the short straight aways, punching the accelerator like he was trying to get away, then slamming on the brakes on the corners and staring back at us as he went around them. I hadn’t even been tailgating him. Then he started making hand gestures. Perhaps they were gang signs, but I was pretty sure one was the universal “I’m going to shoot you” gesture. Then he started dangling a red hankie out the window. We followed him at distance at 10mph for 6 miles as there was no other way out. When he got to the intersection he stopped and jumped out of his truck. I roared by him, blasting him with dust.

One good experience… with people NOT from NM:

We ended up meeting with the people who were going to shuttle with Gearing Up Bicycle Shop, but then they apparently backed out. They had no idea we’d been booted. They apologized, but I reminded them it wasn’t their fault to begin with. They were lost looking for the trail. We found it together. They said they’d be willing to give us a ride back afterwards since it was on their way. They were very cool, all out of state seasonal workers at the Boy Scouts camp. We tossed them $30 and some beer.

One good New Mexico experience:

The positive experience was the food. NM food rocks. Green chile on everything! Yum!

**concretejungle** · 07-20-2009, 07:28 PM

New Mexico drivers are oblivious. I think it's because most of them are drunk. I've never seen so many billboards devoted to DUI's.

I get cut-off more there as well. Driving down the street someone is going to make a turn. They see me, then wait a couple seconds so I think it's ok and they'll wait. They then pull out and cut me off at the last second. I stopped counting how many times that happened.

That said I love Northern New Mexico and we would move there if we could swing it and weren't planning on having kids that would go to public school.

The concept of manana means a whole different thing there.

**mock vomit** · 07-20-2009, 07:34 PM

F****** GREAT TRIP REPORT!!!

GOD DAMMIT SHIT CRAP MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON AGAIN... ARGH!!!

**MultiVerse** · 07-20-2009, 07:43 PM

Excellent trip report and write-up, all it needs is a soundtrack:

**bean** · 07-20-2009, 07:43 PM

I have two exes from NM. Both crazy, one the bad way, and one the good way (and goddamn could she rip on skis).

**Meadow Skipper** · 07-20-2009, 08:02 PM

I don't even know why you'd go to NM - CO is way better; the people, the riding, the skiing, the drivers, the water...everything except for maybe the food. Wish I knew how to get the hell out of here and go to Colorado. Anyone with any sense wants to go to Colorado.

But how did you like the S. Boundary trail? I think it's a fun ride.

Poor New Mexico - so far from heaven, so close to Texas.

**RootSkier** · 07-20-2009, 08:24 PM

Congratulations on the Must Read Most Butthurt TR of Summer 09.

**summit** · 07-20-2009, 08:29 PM

^^^ Not so much butthurt as amazed at the stupid and the crazy. I did get a little pissed at Gearing Up Bicycle Shop because that's poor business practice.

Nothing was really upsetting. We did pretty much everything we set out to do in NM and had fun, we just had to improvise and workaround some things.

**pointedem** · 07-20-2009, 11:05 PM

hahahahahahh

ur titles with the red bold font are awesome. awesome TR.

**GBB** · 07-20-2009, 11:31 PM

that's priceless. you can't make that shit up.

i tried to avoid driving through nm at all costs.

**tone capone** · 07-20-2009, 11:51 PM

When he got to the intersection he stopped and jumped out of his truck. I roared by him, blasting him with dust.

That's some sketchy shit right there. Good move though, get the fuck out of there and get ready for some intense drivin'.

Sounds like that place is infected with the METH to me. Creepy.

**LightRanger** · 07-21-2009, 12:14 AM

That gave me a good chuckle.

One question though: Why are you censoring expletives on TGR, and in The Padded Room of all places? Just wondering...

**Jax** · 07-21-2009, 12:27 AM

Dude, it's New Mexico. WTF did you expect?

**legallyillegal** · 07-21-2009, 02:42 AM

Originally Posted by tone capone

Sounds like that place is infected with the METH to me. Creepy.

Breaking Bad (great show btw - HBO dumbfucks passed on it

) is set in New Mexico.

Coincidence? You decide.

**BigDaddy** · 07-21-2009, 06:21 AM

My aunt lives there and we are visiting her in a couple weeks. We're leaving the next day, immediately heading to Monument Valley, the GC, Bryce, Zion, Vegas, etc.

She kills me the way she drives... I'll be doing the driving, thank you.

I've spent a lot of time there and it is a weird place. Pick up truck capital Alby, Angle Fire from hell, Taos indians that still want scalps, pyscho female stalkers, and crazy ex's...

That was some funny stuff, though!

**warthog** · 07-21-2009, 07:53 AM

My buddy moved from Vail to Taos to help a startup school. He packed up his whole family and moved, being told he had a job. When he got there, there were all sorts of problems with the accreditation, etc. He did end up working there, but the GTFO after about a year. I never got the whole story, but they are back in CO now, and seem to be really really happy about it. Taos is a weird place. I had a buddy who grew up there. The skiing kicked ass, but that is about all he has good to say about it.

Summit- I went to that Boy Scout camp- it is called Philmont, and it rocks. I bet those folks were cool. Everyone that works at that place is pretty damn chill. Philmont is in Cimmaroncito- right(within an hour?) down the road from Angel Fire.

**El Chupacabra** · 07-21-2009, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by Bean

I have two exes from NM. Both crazy, one the bad way, and one the good way (and goddamn could she rip on skis).

X2. (but crazy in the bad way, eventually...)

I guess that's what growing up in Hobbs will do to you.

**khakis** · 07-21-2009, 09:44 AM

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Meth.
Riding the road bike in Farmington was worse than riding around Houston, and that is saying a LOT!

**Name Redacted** · 07-21-2009, 09:49 AM

I know a few guys who got tossed out of a clutch show in ABQ the other night for moshing. Probably more to it than that but WTF? I've stopped at a few random towns in NM on XC flights and the people at the airports were always a little off, nice, but off. Las Vegas NM, claim to fame when I asked what goes on there, "Patrick Swayze has a second home here", wow!

**Nick_C_123** · 07-21-2009, 10:38 AM

They give 'em the bright yellow license plates for a reason.

**splat** · 07-21-2009, 12:20 PM

There's no Hopi.

**brice618** · 07-21-2009, 12:31 PM

Having made new mexico my sporting home for the last few years I'd have to say the key to being happy in NM is to stay away from civilization. Taos is pretty cool, and outside of that just don't bother. Their drivers are awful.

All sorts of stuff to do there, just make sure its actual back country adventuring. Great backpacking, climbing, decent fishing, caving, a small bit of whitewater. All things that can be done without having do deal with actual new mexicans.