Hi - my name is frozenwater, or alias & my life as I know it is over

[Hutch]

Fred,

Just reading this now and can't add much that hasn't been said above except I'm here to listen if you need it, or provide more free lousy legal advice if you need it.

Hutch

[frozenwater]

I have been on this yo-yo ride a lot.

This time seemed different. This time she wanted me to leave, we had a date - as soon as the renters leave I leave.

--Lunch went really well I THINK. (I am as you all can see, bad at this relationship stuff)

She called her sister, and got some good advice.

SHE IS GOING TO GO TO COUNSELING!!!

She is looking for someone, wants to start by herself, and then consider couples conseling.

For now I am NOT renting out the place. I told her to day by day it. If it's separation she needs then I will leave (Though she did say SHE would take the renters place now - said it wasn't right that I have to leave because she made a choice)

So- I am not out of the woods. I don't know if I will be moving in a few days, and I don't know what the best strategy is.

But I do know that she seems to be on a healthier track - and she said she loved me.

[Jax]

Best of luck. Remember to give her space, even if she doesn't ask for it. Look forward to a new day, everyday.

Peace.

[gatorboy]

She does love you.
You are her best friend.
This has to be hard on her also.
She does love you, but may not be in love with you anymore.
That is acceptable.
But so is ending a relationship.
Even though it's hard on everyone involved.
Best wishes,
Alex

[BobMc]

Sounds to me that a boys only rodent eradication trip may be in order. I'm game whenever you are...

You know my number.

Bob

[PNWbrit]

Sounds like some news to be positive about F.

[frozenwater]

Somewhere in here someone asked how in the hell I had a cartridge to throw in the fire that lead to my downward spiral.

Below - is a pretty good indication of what the circumstances were - only we forgot it wasn't "boys only".

Bob is one of my best friends whom I have in my opinion treated badly. Thank you Bob - I hope to soon be as good a friend as you are. I think I might call you up on that camping trip pretty quick here.

Sounds to me that a boys only rodent eradication trip may be in order. I'm game whenever you are...

You know my number.

Bob

[GimpToo]

Best of luck on the new situation . . . try not to mistake kindness for hope . . . it can rip you apart . . . and she's right, she should move . . .

[grrrr]

Orange Mocha Frappacino!

[lemon boy]

I just called the only Fred Johnson listed in the Ogden phone book (801)544-87XX and told him who I was and offered my condolences that his wife was leaving him.

All he said was:

“Wife……………………? Which one?”

ba dum dum. Thanks folks, I’ll be here all week.

[MakersTeleMark]

Frozen:

At a time like this you have a million thoughts running through your head, what I suggest is that you write down 3-5 things that you are capable of doing and which will be positive for you. If it isn't on that list, ignore it and leave it for down the road. You'll have plenty of time to deal with second tier concerns later.

And just like physical fractures, clean one's heal best.

[phUnk]

Just saw this thread. No words of wisdom for you, my man. Just joining the leagues of maggots that are here for you in any way you might need. Seriously.

Also, my parents got divorced when I was a kid and it was never a huge deal. They both loved me, they didn't always agree on everything but they were always cool with each other. I did the 50/50 thing, I did the dad's most of the time then mom's on weekends thing, vice versa, etc. Even if they have a hard time with it right now, they'll be just fine with two loving parents.

PS. I will take you for a ride in my crossover (not Xover) vehicle any time you argumentative dick. :P

[zion zig zag]

Damn, sorry to hear this bro. I've been there, watched my family pack up in a uhaul and leave for the other side of the country seven years ago. Hardest thing ever.

I've got lots I could tell you or I could just listen, whatever. But seriously, I think I can remember how it feels. If you want to go to dinner, I'll buy, if you want to hang, I've got the next four days off. Call me whenever.

[iceman]

She does love you.
You are her best friend.
This has to be hard on her also.
She does love you, but may not be in love with you anymore.
That is acceptable.
But so is ending a relationship.
Even though it's hard on everyone involved.
Best wishes,
Alex

Nothing like having a paranoid schizophrenic loser moron asshole piece of shit motherfucker on your team! Everything's gonna be great!

(it will be fine eventually if we kill gatorbot together.Let's schedule it.).

[Karl Stall]

Fred!
Lots of love, bro! hang in there.

I don't like the framing of the 'separation' gig -wtf is that?

Like everyone else said - you know I am always here for you!

Rocky

[Tippster]

Nothing like having a paranoid schizophrenic loser moron asshole piece of shit motherfucker on your team! Everything's gonna be great!

(it will be fine eventually if we kill gatorbot together.Let's schedule it.).

Do we need to procure pitchforks?

[rideit]

Do we need to procure pitchforks?

No, we just need to lovingly shove diapers, tampons, and shamwows into the pipes of fucking annoying yuppies who ride their 'loud pipe' Harleys (and other stoopid loud bikes) on public roads.
Man up and get a dick enlargement, but dammit, STFU in our quiet towns!

[Tippster]

Dude. Loud pipes save lives. ( to Spats)

Honestly the only fucking Bikers that I want to kill are the chaps wearing wannabes.

[iscariot]

I don't know you and I have no advice to give.

I'm just hoping everything works out for the best...what ever the best may be. I think that time and perspective can change what looks like devastating losses into positive learning experiences. Either way it works out, you will learn and grow and become stronger.

I'm just wishing for happiness for everyone involved.

[SWskier]

Just sent you a PM Fred, you are in my thoughts.

[fool]

Positive vibes for you.

[The Eagle Spreader]

It's gonna sound dumb.. but take it back to the dating "games" in your youth... remember... if you played it all lovey like you wanted them they walked away... if you played it cool and aloof, went and did the stuf you like that is separate from her... they'd (sometimes) fall all over you.

My guess... you're trying too hard and worrying too much. Get away from the situation for even a day. then see what is going on.


could be wrong, but at least you get a day of doing something YOU want to do.

We have a winner! The more you fight to pull her back the more she will pull away. Not to get all Freudian on you but its clear your self esteem is too wrapped up in her approval, and its creating an uneven balance of power in your relationship.
If you really want to save this, you're going to have to act contrary to whatever your mind and heart and anguish are telling (screaming at?) you, and play it cool. Act like you're not hurt by the situation maybe even pretend to be enthusiastic about the separation. Focus all your attention to your daughters and yourself, don't let your wife see your pain, be the man, play hard to get..all these are good things and will make her respect you more. Even if this works and I suspect it will, for the long term you've got to start deriving your sense of worth from yourself... my $.02. Good luck my friend.

[Lone Star]

Also, my parents got divorced when I was a kid and it was never a huge deal. They both loved me, they didn't always agree on everything but they were always cool with each other. I did the 50/50 thing, I did the dad's most of the time then mom's on weekends thing, vice versa, etc. Even if they have a hard time with it right now, they'll be just fine with two loving parents.

I went through a very similar situation. the best and maybe most loving thing my parents ever did for my sister and I was keep us completely out of their personal disagreements--- no he said, she said or trying to paint the other out to be a bad guy.

I thought it was pretty cool that I got to celebrate TWO Christmases instead of one.

I wish you and your family the best, Fred.

[GimpToo]

We have a winner! The more you fight to pull her back the more she will pull away. Not to get all Freudian on you but its clear your self esteem is too wrapped up in her approval, and its creating an uneven balance of power in your relationship.
If you really want to save this, you're going to have to act contrary to whatever your mind and heart and anguish are telling (screaming at?) you, and play it cool. Act like you're not hurt by the situation maybe even pretend to be enthusiastic about the separation. Focus all your attention to your daughters and yourself, don't let your wife see your pain, be the man, play hard to get..all these are good things and will make her respect you more. Even if this works and I suspect it will, for the long term you've got to start deriving your sense of worth from yourself... my $.02. Good luck my friend.

+++1,000

[uglymoney]

^^^^ Yep. It's something that every successful single guy figures out quickly, but a lot of guys that have been hooked up for a long time forget.

And your love for her will always be around no matter what happens. Don't worry about it and don't try to rid yourself of it if this ends up going down the tubes, just keep living your life and looking forward and it will find itself a nice little corner to hide in after a while.