Massages

[jayfrizzo]

Ever have one?

Dudes: Ever pop a boner during one? How'd you handle it?

[Stu Gotz]

Originally posted by jayfrizzo
Ever have one?

Dudes: Ever pop a boner during one? How'd you handle it?

Happy Ending.

[Ubersheist]

Originally posted by jayfrizzo
Ever have one?

Dudes: Ever pop a boner during one? How'd you handle it?

Yes; and no. If you're getting one from a professional "massage therapist" as opposed to a "masseuse" or an "escort," this probably won't happen.

Someone a little bored today?? Good god, winter can't come soon enough...

[Spicoli]

And...did you shoot yourself in the eye?

[hoarhey]

Yes, I have had massages, in SLC area.

My name is ... and I have had it happen. I try to avoid massage of the abdominals...

I wonder if that topic is mentioned in the massage therapy schools?

If you are prone to sporting wood during a massage, and they offer you a large or small towel, take the large one...

[Stu Gotz]

If you get a deep tissue massage, the last thing that comes to mind is sporting wood. It's more of a "What the fock was I thinking?"

[jayfrizzo]

Originally posted by Ubersheist
Someone a little bored today?? Good god, winter can't come soon enough...

Not really bored.

I've had a few massages and usally go into it with a slight thought of how embarassing pitching a tent would be. But once the massage starts I just relax and don't think about it much. I haven't popped one yet.

But I think I came close yesterday. It wasn't sexual at all, like I wasn't attracted to the masseuse or thinking durrty thoughts. It was just a *really* good massage and I was like, what if I bust a chub? Do I ignore it? Apologize? Make a joke (Sorry, he gets jealous easily.)?

Meh.

[Spicoli]

A massage and a chub are synonymous with getting a colonic and blowing massive, wet tropical wind.

[L7]

I've had massages and some by some very attractive women. For me it's more like someone above said, 'what the fuck was I thinking'. Not really that bad usually but enough focus on keeping relaxed while they go in deep that no chubb is going to occur.

[Oopsie Daisy]

When I studied shiatsu massage, we were told that some of those boners are "innocent." Some sort of parasympathetic system response yadda bladda fadda.

We were instructed to put the guy at ease by bursting into laughter, pointing at his thingie, and calling over the other masseuses to take a gander.

Anyway, seriously, massage people are used to it.

[LAN]

Try putting a catheter in someone with a boner! Now THAT'S fun.

I see my massage therapist regularly and she's wonderful. Deep tissue massages can hurt, but rolfing is a bitch. Anybody else tried it?

[The AD]

Originally posted by Oopsie Daisy
We were instructed to put the guy at ease by bursting into laughter, pointing at his thingie, and calling over the other masseuses to take a gander.

You forgot the part where you're supposed to get a ruler out and measure it.

[Zeedashbo]

that is a picture my head did not want to paint LAN. massages rule, and even if it is proffessional go for the happy ending.

[Oopsie Daisy]

The AD: Duly noted. Will remember to carry a measuring tape in my kit bag.

LAN: WHOA! Re: the catheter. I've not experience Rolfing (ralphing, that's another matter). I'm scared of it.

Plus, I'm of the mind that a decent yoga practice is the best way to keep all the parts lubed and happy (yogachik can back me up on this one, I'm sure), and, is a great way to deal with rehabilitative stuff as well. A good rockin' yoga sesh leaves you feeling like you've had a massage and great sex.

Plus, just look at yogacheek's avatar.

End of sales pitch.

[Oopsie Daisy]

Hey, LAN: You ever prank a patient by whipping out a Silly Straw when you're about to do the catheter thing?

Silly Woody!

[FreakofSnow]

Ok children, the word for today is PRIAPISM - the presence of a persistent, usually painful, erection of the penis.

[road trip]

Geez. I had surgery to get my ruptured spleen removed (and they say soccer isn't a contact sport...) and upon waking, had to pee pretty bad. The nurse was like "just go" and I was all confused. I said, "er, uh, I gotta pee..." and she said again "just go!" I was all confused and then she lifted up the sheets for me to see a tube where no tube should be. Oh god, that was so horrible.

[Oopsie Daisy]

Originally posted by FreakofSnow
Ok children, the word for today is PRIAPISM - the presence of a persistent, usually painful, erection of the penis.

I was on some stupid sleep aid (did nothing for me), that was contraindicated for males because it had that very effect on men. Not so much fun having to go into the ER with that complaint, I reckon! (I'm sure LAN will know about this one...).


Edited for sloppy (one-handed ) typing typos.

[Oopsie Daisy]

Originally posted by road trip
Geez. I had surgery to get my ruptured spleen removed (and they say soccer isn't a contact sport...) and upon waking, had to pee pretty bad. The nurse was like "just go" and I was all confused. I said, "er, uh, I gotta pee..." and she said again "just go!" I was all confused and then she lifted up the sheets for me to see a tube where no tube should be. Oh god, that was so horrible.

Yeah, well, peeing into a chilly bedpan ain't no picnic, either! (But yes, it's not nearly as gnarly. Ufftah!)

[Viva]

Back in, I think 93, when I was something like 28, I was seeing a cougar-aged massage therapist who, in order to better work my quads, would "mount me" . By this, I mean she would get on top of me and dig her knees into various places along the ventral aspects of my thighs. She was pretty good looking and everytime she performed this manuver, I would get "aroused". She never said anything and neither did I. She eventually moved to Colorado.

[freshie247]

I've been rolfed & have had a lot of massages as a good friend of mine is a massage therapist.I agree that I'm usually in enough discomfort & focusing on my breathing to sport wood.I think your getting the Bangcock nice nice massage instead!

[shamrockpow]

Originally posted by Viva
Back in, I think 93, when I was something like 28, I was seeing a cougar-aged massage therapist who, in order to better work my quads, would "mount me" . By this, I mean she would get on top of me and dig her knees into various places along the ventral aspects of my thighs. She was pretty good looking and everytime she performed this manuver, I would get "aroused". She never said anything and neither did I. She eventually moved to Colorado.

No attempt to bag and tag???

[LAN]

I haven't ever whipped out the straw as a threat to patients, that's a good idea though! I did have a patient who was completely psychotic (the most psychotic I've EVER seen working at a screwed up county hospital) - spit on me, peed on me and tried to bite me. I was so pissed off (no pun intended) I grabbed the HUGEST catheter I could find (think the diameter of a Sharpie). I'm not sure what pissed him off more - the catheter, or the fact that I put him in 5 point restraints and a Hannibal Lechter spit mask.

As far as the priaprism goes - one of my friends who was on his urology rotation just saw it. Apparently it's quite the sight! And quite painful ...

Not as painful as rolfing though.

Edit: On a sidenote, is that white bikini clad ass really yogachik's? If so, she's a lucky gal because that's a fine ass!

[Viva]

Originally posted by shamrockpow
No attempt to bag and tag???

No, didn't need to since I was seeing someone at the time. There was a mild, mutual attraction, however, and she was always very nice to me afterwards.

Later on, I had a couple of other female therapists who were younger and way better looking, but I never had the "arousal response" with them.

[irul&ublo]

Originally posted by LAN

I see my massage therapist regularly and she's wonderful.

OK, but does she make you sport wood?