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  1. #51
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
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    R.O.C.
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    4,034

    New Aesops Fable?

    A fabulous read,pithy,depraved,jounalistically brilliant & utterly bereft of any redeming qualities.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    May 2004
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    X=Z-BO
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    think if you weren't drunk, you three would (at least i would have) tried to beat the crap out of some inmate all yaaked out on meth. that would have been interesting.

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Earth
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    2,629

    Talking

    Damn Gonzo. But that's kind of a beginner drunk story. Get hammered on "Soju" in Soul, then walk outside of the bar during a riot at midnight. And you are chased my about 3000 angry Koreans 2 miles to the main gates of "Camp Kelly". Oh with a 40 of Crown in your hand, not to mention you are so drunk you can hardly stand. Cabbies won't take you because you are an American and a mob is chasing you.

    But at next years reunion party for you guys. Remeber to phone the cab company to pick you up.

    Oh and one more question. The guy picking you up did 15 years in prison. Which one of you was the wife for him

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    the tinfoil aisle
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    1,427
    Originally posted by TJ.Brk
    spew
    that post sucked.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Jack Tone Road
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    12,778
    Lotta winky guys, though. Never have too many a' them.

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Emulating the ocean's sound
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    7,010
    winkie guys can make up for the most useless posts.

    but cool guys, when overused, render even the most usefull post useless

  7. #57
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    White room @ 49th & 8th
    Posts
    733

    A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in

    just gpt an email from uncle remus advising that i watch out for this post. frankly, i'm amazed that this never made it up before either.

    here are a few things that were left out due to varying degrees of fuzziness:

    1) the carjack guy had never heard of an "ATM" before (prison for 17 years will date a man)--led to an awkward conversation while he held me in a choker in the middle of an intersection threatening my life

    2) similarly, when my check from work had not yet cleared, i had to explain to this hostile gentleman the difference between "current balance" and "available balance"

    his response of "i don't give a f**k, pay me!" was not what we were looking for.

    3) we stopped in a gas station after the first atm incident to get a cab and the attendant only knew 3 english words, "You. Leave. Now."---in that order

    4) the gigantic dood who picked us up the second time was on one of those nextel walkie-talkie thingys with his girlfriend. when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,

    "who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"

    without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.

    wow. that was a messed up night.
    You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.

  8. #58
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    White room @ 49th & 8th
    Posts
    733
    oh yeah. after testifying in front of the grand jury, the DA told us that we might have to testify again and that we shouldn't do anything crazy like pack up our stuff and move to colorado.

    a few months later we packed up our stuff and moved to colorado.
    You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.

  9. #59
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    spitting distance from Mavericks
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    2,724
    Originally posted by gonzo
    …dude keeps asking us if we have any weapons…uuuuh no - we have stupid pants and wigs dude…
    I truly love this line. It doesn't get any better than that!
    “Within this furnace of fear, my passion for life burns fiercely. I have consumed all evil. I have overcome my doubt. I am the fire.”

  10. #60
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    May 2004
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    X=Z-BO
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    Re: A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in

    Originally posted by Honc


    "who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"

    awesome!

  11. #61
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    EC
    Posts
    1,192
    I don't know how I missed this first time around. Unreal. And yes, that is probably the worst neighborhood in all of Boston. You're lucky you're all still alive. Damn. Great story, though.

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Seattle
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    Re: A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in

    Originally posted by Honc
    when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,
    "who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
    without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.
    This had me ROLLING at work! I can just picture this and I can't stop laughing. You just can't make this shit up. Great TR Gonz and Honc! My drunken bleary nights pale compared to this gem.

    B)

  13. #63
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    The Garden State
    Posts
    2,968

    Thumbs up

    Honc puts the icing on the cake!
    That's a story for the ages...
    Instant classic!!!

  14. #64
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
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    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    Originally posted by Aldo
    Honc
    How do you pronounce that?

  15. #65
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Emulating the ocean's sound
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    Originally posted by iceman
    How do you pronounce that?
    its honk right?
    not honce

  16. #66
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    Sep 2001
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    The Cone of Uncertainty
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    I think it's honsey.

  17. #67
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    CO
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    Great story gonz. Good times. Put a little adventure into my otherwise boring day at work. I don't think I've ever had an un-intersting night out in Boston when I was in college. Always crazy shit going on and crazy friends doing crazy things.

    I always thought it was pronounced: Hon-Cee

  18. #68
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Emulating the ocean's sound
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    bumping the funny drinking story with the insane situational comedy.


  19. #69
    gonz, thank you for teaching me how to pee while continuing to walk at a normal pace down the sidewalk. i can fly higher than an eagle, because you are the wind beneath my wings.

  20. #70
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Tech Bro Central
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    2,854
    Thanks for the bump. Missed that first time around.

    My first month in Boston I got lost and accidentally rode my bike down Blue Hill Avenue through Mattapan. Doubt I'll ever ride that fast again.

  21. #71
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    1,952
    How the hell did I miss this one?
    That is f'n hysterical!! And no - those East LA boys can talk all the smack they want. I'll take East LA over Mattapan any day of the week, Ricky.

    So the SECOND guy jacked you for $80?? WTF!?!

    edit: Not quite as amusing Mattapan story: Used to deliver furniture all OVER that area - Mattapan, Roxbury, etc. (Anyone remember Boston Scandals?) So we're driving down BH Ave, and some dude's riding a bike down the middle of the road - can't get around him....He hears us behind him (big diesel Mercedes) & he flips us off like 3 times as if to say "F-you, I ain't moving."

    No problem - creep up about 20' behind him & I nail the airhorns.

    Guy about shits himself. He swerves over to the right at which point it becomes clear why he was riding in the middle of the road....The T tracks.

    (Visualize it - it might not sound that funny in type, but believe me - it was priceless.)

    Both of the guy's wheels lock in the tracks & the bike stops cold...F'n guy was absolutely EJECTED off the bike...Evel Kneivel had better landings. We were both in shock, and I stopped to make sure the guy was ok.. Guy stands up & the verbal assault ensues. We just went on our merry way. That story still comes up from time to time when I go back home...And yes, we still laugh 'til we cry.

  22. #72
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    Oct 2003
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    Emulating the ocean's sound
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    needed a laugh. this one still works.


  23. #73
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    driving past the Stop and Shop
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    2,898
    No shit that was some funny!

    You boys were about a block and a half away from the morgue that night.
    Damn, we're in a tight spot!

  24. #74
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    SF
    Posts
    3,629
    i thinky basom has some free time...
    Craig Kelly is my co-pilot.

    Buy Your Lift Tickets in Advance and Save

  25. #75
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    SF
    Posts
    3,629
    woo hoo! hall of fame, motherfuckers!
    Craig Kelly is my co-pilot.

    Buy Your Lift Tickets in Advance and Save

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