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Thread: in case you were not aware
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08-10-2004, 10:06 PM #51
New Aesops Fable?
A fabulous read,pithy,depraved,jounalistically brilliant & utterly bereft of any redeming qualities.
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08-10-2004, 10:07 PM #52
think if you weren't drunk, you three would (at least i would have) tried to beat the crap out of some inmate all yaaked out on meth. that would have been interesting.
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08-10-2004, 10:33 PM #53Yes that is duct-tape
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Damn Gonzo. But that's kind of a beginner drunk story. Get hammered on "Soju" in Soul, then walk outside of the bar during a riot at midnight. And you are chased my about 3000 angry Koreans 2 miles to the main gates of "Camp Kelly". Oh with a 40 of Crown in your hand, not to mention you are so drunk you can hardly stand. Cabbies won't take you because you are an American and a mob is chasing you.
But at next years reunion party for you guys. Remeber to phone the cab company to pick you up.
Oh and one more question. The guy picking you up did 15 years in prison. Which one of you was the wife for him
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08-11-2004, 06:34 AM #54have not
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Originally posted by TJ.Brk
spew
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08-11-2004, 06:39 AM #55
Lotta winky guys, though. Never have too many a' them.
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08-11-2004, 09:18 AM #56
winkie guys can make up for the most useless posts.
but cool guys, when overused, render even the most usefull post useless
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08-11-2004, 11:50 AM #57
A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in
just gpt an email from uncle remus advising that i watch out for this post. frankly, i'm amazed that this never made it up before either.
here are a few things that were left out due to varying degrees of fuzziness:
1) the carjack guy had never heard of an "ATM" before (prison for 17 years will date a man)--led to an awkward conversation while he held me in a choker in the middle of an intersection threatening my life
2) similarly, when my check from work had not yet cleared, i had to explain to this hostile gentleman the difference between "current balance" and "available balance"
his response of "i don't give a f**k, pay me!" was not what we were looking for.
3) we stopped in a gas station after the first atm incident to get a cab and the attendant only knew 3 english words, "You. Leave. Now."---in that order
4) the gigantic dood who picked us up the second time was on one of those nextel walkie-talkie thingys with his girlfriend. when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.
wow. that was a messed up night.You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.
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08-11-2004, 11:55 AM #58
oh yeah. after testifying in front of the grand jury, the DA told us that we might have to testify again and that we shouldn't do anything crazy like pack up our stuff and move to colorado.
a few months later we packed up our stuff and moved to colorado.You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff.
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08-11-2004, 04:29 PM #59Originally posted by gonzo
…dude keeps asking us if we have any weapons…uuuuh no - we have stupid pants and wigs dude…“Within this furnace of fear, my passion for life burns fiercely. I have consumed all evil. I have overcome my doubt. I am the fire.”
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08-11-2004, 04:32 PM #60
Re: A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in
Originally posted by Honc
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
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08-13-2004, 12:46 PM #61
I don't know how I missed this first time around. Unreal. And yes, that is probably the worst neighborhood in all of Boston. You're lucky you're all still alive. Damn. Great story, though.
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08-13-2004, 01:46 PM #62
Re: A few details that I caught wile occasionally blacked-in
Originally posted by Honc
when he tried to explain that he was helping 3 white kids from getting killed she started screaming,
"who you stayin' out with? i KNOW you ain't sleazin around with some HO! put her on the phone!"
without hesitation, gonz and i reached for the handset and easily convinced her that we were, in fact, goofy white kids and not some ho.
B)
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08-13-2004, 02:13 PM #63skier
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Honc puts the icing on the cake!
That's a story for the ages...
Instant classic!!!
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08-13-2004, 02:34 PM #64Funky But Chic
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Originally posted by Aldo
Honc
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08-13-2004, 02:39 PM #65Originally posted by iceman
How do you pronounce that?
not honce
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08-13-2004, 02:41 PM #66Funky But Chic
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I think it's honsey.
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08-13-2004, 02:44 PM #67
Great story gonz. Good times. Put a little adventure into my otherwise boring day at work. I don't think I've ever had an un-intersting night out in Boston when I was in college. Always crazy shit going on and crazy friends doing crazy things.
I always thought it was pronounced: Hon-Cee
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09-22-2004, 07:15 AM #68
bumping the funny drinking story with the insane situational comedy.
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09-22-2004, 07:54 AM #69
gonz, thank you for teaching me how to pee while continuing to walk at a normal pace down the sidewalk. i can fly higher than an eagle, because you are the wind beneath my wings.
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09-22-2004, 08:24 AM #70
Thanks for the bump. Missed that first time around.
My first month in Boston I got lost and accidentally rode my bike down Blue Hill Avenue through Mattapan. Doubt I'll ever ride that fast again.
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09-22-2004, 09:02 AM #71
How the hell did I miss this one?
That is f'n hysterical!! And no - those East LA boys can talk all the smack they want. I'll take East LA over Mattapan any day of the week, Ricky.
So the SECOND guy jacked you for $80?? WTF!?!
edit: Not quite as amusing Mattapan story: Used to deliver furniture all OVER that area - Mattapan, Roxbury, etc. (Anyone remember Boston Scandals?) So we're driving down BH Ave, and some dude's riding a bike down the middle of the road - can't get around him....He hears us behind him (big diesel Mercedes) & he flips us off like 3 times as if to say "F-you, I ain't moving."
No problem - creep up about 20' behind him & I nail the airhorns.
Guy about shits himself. He swerves over to the right at which point it becomes clear why he was riding in the middle of the road....The T tracks.
(Visualize it - it might not sound that funny in type, but believe me - it was priceless.)
Both of the guy's wheels lock in the tracks & the bike stops cold...F'n guy was absolutely EJECTED off the bike...Evel Kneivel had better landings. We were both in shock, and I stopped to make sure the guy was ok.. Guy stands up & the verbal assault ensues. We just went on our merry way. That story still comes up from time to time when I go back home...And yes, we still laugh 'til we cry.
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01-25-2005, 03:23 PM #72
needed a laugh. this one still works.
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01-25-2005, 04:18 PM #73
No shit that was some funny!
You boys were about a block and a half away from the morgue that night.Damn, we're in a tight spot!
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01-25-2005, 05:12 PM #74
i thinky basom has some free time...
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11-03-2005, 09:46 PM #75
woo hoo! hall of fame, motherfuckers!
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