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Thread: Fucking Ikea!
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07-27-2004, 07:43 PM #26Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Denver
- Posts
- 1,633
I bought this same exact bed 3 weeks ago and have yet to have an intimate moment in it! Even after reading your post I will not think twice when the opportunity arrises.
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07-28-2004, 07:48 AM #27Originally posted by mrw
I also am married to a Russian gymnast. I offer this sage advice:
Buy a wrought iron bed
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07-28-2004, 09:03 AM #28
SP ~ I've done the math, but something's still not adding up.
You may have been having a "moment", but it was far from "intimate". You were jackhammering the poor girl! Did you have a running start?
Dat's not "Rusty Smoove"!
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07-28-2004, 10:12 AM #29
for the uncensored audio tape
Take a listen here
"....it had low box springs
and that spring did sing
all night long until the break of dawn
it went........
(rhythmic squeaky bed springs sound effects)
umm, umm, oh yeah.........umm, humm, umm...yeah!
so we started blocking boots (?)
hammering nails
all night long the old box springs did...."
Clarence Brewer's "Boxsprings Boogie" (King Clarentz CD)
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07-28-2004, 03:49 PM #30Originally posted by EPSkis
SP ~ I've done the math, but something's still not adding up.
You may have been having a "moment", but it was far from "intimate". You were jackhammering the poor girl! Did you have a running start?
Dat's not "Rusty Smoove"!
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07-30-2004, 01:33 AM #31Originally posted by phUnk
NWS: http://www.tenaciousd.com/fhg.html :NWS
Beautiful.
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07-30-2004, 07:35 AM #32
Re: easy fix
Originally posted by optics
The problem's the screws.
BTW -- it has always perplexed me that mattress and bed manufacturers always market their product as being good to sleep on but never tout their designs as the ultimate bonking platform. May be time for a BRO model sleep surface.Damn, we're in a tight spot!
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09-05-2004, 06:12 PM #33
So we're walking through Ikea today, and in full conversation voice ...
Scoober: "Hey, did you read that Punani broke an Ikea bed ... HAVING SEX!"
Not to mention the fact that it's Labor Day weekend and there were families, children and hot girls all over the place. I'm not sure that "punani" and "sex" are kosher in public, especially when he didn't even keep his voice down.
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09-05-2004, 11:54 PM #34Originally posted by LAN
I'm not sure that "punani" and "sex" are kosher...Quando paramucho mi amore de felice carathon.
Mundo paparazzi mi amore cicce verdi parasol.
Questo abrigado tantamucho que canite carousel.
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09-05-2004, 11:57 PM #35Smoove Artist
- Join Date
- Dec 2002
- Location
- Stuttgart
- Posts
- 1,411
Mmmmmm. Damn.
For all you ladies out there, let me break this down for you.
If I weres to meet you and bring to you my crib, there mays always exist a possibility of sexual platform destruction. However, unlike SuPu, I can assure you I have taken every precaution so our freaking can continue uninterrupted.
First, I have procured the finest bed inda land. It is not some small bed made of scandinavian particle board. No princess deserves a throne for her backside, and sometime her frontside, that is that is constructified of materials not befitting the royalty that is the female body. Mmmmm. And yo body is fine, girl. Damn. Nor should any self respecting heterosexual smoove his girl in a "queen" bed. Girl, I submit that is not right.
Girl, da throne upon which I shall throw you, bounce you, and throw you some mo', is made of logs. Not just any logs. I personally surveyed the finest mills and forestry locales inda world. Only wood of resilent fortification and unbendable strengff was selected. Da logs are reinforced with stainless steel rails and 6" bolts. Dis frame can holds the unbridled passion of 100 normal men, or one Rusty.
Mmmmmmm. Damn. Girl if you was here I'd break you off nasty right now.
Da throne upon which we would bone is also of ginormous size. You will squeal and shudder with delight upon examining da room wiff which we have to play. We can easily fit your sistas. Even those inda WNBA.
Corn will always be available.
Girls, lemme take you to yo statosphere of love upon my rocketship of smoove. And girls, don't worry, I can satisfy all of you. My back, like my bed, is strong. Damn.
Girl, let us freak.
Smoove RustyLast edited by Rusty Nails; 09-06-2004 at 12:11 AM.
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09-24-2004, 04:12 AM #36
http://adorablebunnies.com/LOADER/AR...%20fantasy.wmv
Turn on your speakers. Possibly NSFW.Last edited by Geoff; 09-26-2004 at 01:13 AM. Reason: Diarrhe3a
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09-24-2004, 08:38 AM #37
Link above is probably NSFW just a heads up
(it is however mildly amusing)- Excessive, obsessive gear questioning 10 yards, loss of down
- Not using techtak 5 yards
- Excessive spraying 10 yards loss of down
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09-24-2004, 05:35 PM #38Originally Posted by Geoff
That one deffinately belongs on the West 300+ team.
It's like feedin' a Tic Tac to a Whale...Last edited by 72Twenty; 09-24-2004 at 05:41 PM.
"Have fun, get a flyrod, and give the worm dunkers the finger when you start double hauling." ~Lumpy
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09-09-2006, 09:47 PM #39
So did SuPu ever get a new bed out of IKEA?
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09-09-2006, 09:59 PM #40is not skiing
- Join Date
- Mar 2005
- Location
- gobble gobble
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- 932
hehehe... he said "my partner" and "rectified" in the same sentence
slopstyle crosscarver junior
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09-10-2006, 03:09 AM #41
It might have been said befoer. but Ill asy it again.. Usless withough pics.
"I just looked down to see if I was wearing my seatbelt, and I'm sitting at my desk in my room."
http://www.flickr.com/photos/owencaprell/
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09-11-2006, 03:50 PM #42
Why isn't this thread in the Hall of Fame?
"There is a hell of a huge difference between skiing as a sport- or even as a lifestyle- and skiing as an industry"
Hunter S. Thompson, 1970 (RIP)
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