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Thread: Kitty Stoke

  1. #6076
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    Max-maximus

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    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  2. #6077
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    An Introduction to Asshole Cat Behaviors

    They say that, if left alone with your dead body, your cat will eat you. I know mine would. Not because he’s heartless but because cats are practical, and if I don’t appear up to the task of feeding him he’ll simply fend for himself. If this comes as a surprise to you, please allow me to fill you in on some other cat behaviors that, though not as gruesome, are still quite disturbing.

    Your cat is changing your passwords.

    Have you ever gone to log on to one of those accounts that you don’t use all the time but do use often enough that you should remember the password, only to find that you must have forgot it? Do you then go check the spot where you keep your passwords and discover that you did remember it correctly, but it still doesn’t work? Who could have changed it? How did this happen? It was your cat.

    Not only that but cats use your computer to spread rumors about you online. They open fake Facebook accounts and fold the gossip in among conspiratorial rants. Before logging off, they also order things on Amazon without asking you first. When an enormous bag of pom-poms you don’t recall ordering arrives at your doorstep, don’t be alarmed. You’re not losing it. You just have a cat.

    A cat will mess with your scale.

    You do your best—you diet, you exercise, you cut down on alcohol—and still you gain weight. How can this be? In fact, it’s not you—it’s your scale, and your scale is being tampered with by your cat. They deploy their unique cat-arm flexibility, normally used for taunting you under the bathroom door, to reach beneath the scale and twist the dial just enough so that you feel like a failure, give up, and eat another bowl of ice cream. When, disgusted with yourself, you toss the spoon in the sink—guess who licks it clean?

    They cancel your shows.

    Cats love true crime. They can’t get enough gory details about horrible things that have happened to people. They listen to podcasts, read blogs, watch documentaries. They’re obsessed. Not only do they find the genre entertaining but it shows them all the ways that you might one day die, leaving them your body.

    So don’t be surprised when the DVR stops recording right before the big reveal on your favorite house-renovation program. Someone—your cat—interrupted your recording in his search for more bloody footage. And, as any true-crime fan knows, this was no accident.

    They will ruin your brand.

    You were going for “modern cool,” but now your pants are covered in fur. You were trying out “youthful and energetic,” but you have bags under your eyes and scratch marks on your face, from a sneak attack in the middle of the night. The truth is that cats don’t want you to have a new brand. Your brand was cemented the minute you brought them home. You are Cat Lady. Deal with it.

    They won’t invite you to anything. Ever.

    Cats do stuff. They go places, enjoy art, and work on puzzles. They have parties under the comforter, sleepovers in the den, and tanning sessions on the floor. Have they ever once asked you to join? No. And don’t confuse their demands for pets as invitations. They’re not.

    Cats love to move your phone.

    Not far, but just enough to make you question everything. How many times have you found your phone on the edge of the tub, or in the refrigerator, and said out loud, “Who put this here?” Have you ever noticed that your cat doesn’t answer? Of course he doesn’t. He’s not a liar—he’s just manipulative.

    They kick you out of the house.

    Do you ever wonder why you so crave travel to a distant locale? Do you think this wanderlust just materialized out of nowhere? No, it did not. It’s the stuff of kitten whispers. As soon as you nod off with a cat on your lap, they start in with the soft-spoken suggestions: “The Maldives. Go to the Maldives. You deserve to tell people that you’ve been to the Maldives.” Before you know it, you’re grabbing your passport, filling up your cat’s bowl, and leaving him home alone—well-fed, for now.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  3. #6078
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    X

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  4. #6079
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    A friend's cat. Can be an asshole, but damn pretty. Always makes eye contact, which is unusual for cats.

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  5. #6080
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    A friend's cat. Can be an asshole, but damn pretty. Always makes eye contact, which is unusual for cats.
    eye contact usually proceeds attack
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  6. #6081
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    X
    Killed a cat in Reno just watch it die? Give that man the electric chair.

  7. #6082
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    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    eye contact usually proceeds attack
    He's pretty cool in that way, although the best thing she did was get another cat, and they work out their aggressions on each other instead of her. He was a real asshole before that, but, not a biter or scratcher.

    He had a sister in rescue who was orange and white. I still think they would have made an amazing looking pair.

    The world is perfect. Appreciate the details.

  8. #6083
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    Miss Mayhem.
    I see hydraulic turtles.

  9. #6084
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    ^ portraiture.

  10. #6085
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    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I think you'd have an easier time understanding people if you remembered that 80% of them are fucking morons.
    That is why I like dogs, more than most people.

  11. #6086
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    Owners are soccer players.

  12. #6087
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    Someone's given up:

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    And yes, the back patio needs to be cleaned. Took care of it last night.
    "Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise

  13. #6088
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    huffing pipe glue?
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
    >>>200 cm Black Bamboo Sidewalled DPS Lotus 120 : Best Skis Ever <<<

  14. #6089
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buster Highmen View Post
    huffing pipe glue?
    Boissal is alright, even if he is French and has Ba'al for a cat.

  15. #6090
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  16. #6091
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    That^^^ is hilarious
    Check Out Ullr's Mobile Avalanche Safety Tools for iOS and Android
    www.ullrlabs.com

  17. #6092
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    Kitty on its back was hoping the distraction would give him an opening to run. No such luck. IT'S SMACK DOWN TIME!
    "Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise

  18. #6093
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    Die Katzen appears to be happy I'm back. Although he is not impressed that I'm typing while he's trying to sleep.
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  19. #6094
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  20. #6095
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    Omar taking the time to smell the wildflowers...
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    Buy the ticket...take the ride.

  21. #6096
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    Serious booby trap:

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    "Your wife being mad is temporary, but pow turns do not get unmade" - mallwalker the wise

  22. #6097
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    Like a Bouncing Betty, but with fur and claws and teeth.

  23. #6098
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    Vet busts myth about 'saggy' bellies on cats

    Parents of cats with “saggy bellies” needn’t be concerned with reducing the number of snacks they are handing over in a bid to help them shed some kilos.

    That’s because the floppy pouch isn’t formed as a result of excess weight according to the Table View Animal Hospital, instead, it actually performs an important and often vital function.

    The loose skin and padding around a cat’s stomach has a special name, the primordial pouch, and it exists in all cats regardless of their weight, the vet said.

    “This loose skin and padding at the belly provides extra protection for the abdominal area during fights when ‘bunny kicking’ with their hind legs,” a post from the vet, based in South Africa, to Facebook read.

    “It insulates and protects internal organs and allows a cat to store extra food in its belly.”



    The extra storage was particularly important for feral cats, who sometimes don’t have access to food for several days in a row, the vet said.

    “It also allows a cat freedom of movement to fully stretch and extend the back legs when running at high speed or jumping.”

    The post also busted the common myth that the primordial pouch formed as a result of the animal being spayed or neutered.

    “All felines, regardless of their size, shape, or sex have this extra flap of skin (including lions and tigers),” the vet said.

    “Even cats who lose weight due to diet or illness still have these belly flaps.”

    More than 3000 people responded in shock to the post, with most saying they had no idea their cat’s stomach bulge had a purpose other than storing fat.

    “Glad to hear its normal. My cat has it and I was a bit worried, even though I know she's definitely not overweight,” one person wrote in a comment.

    “I'm a new cat owner and have been wondering about this. I thought he was a bit overweight,” another wrote.

    “I had no idea... but glad to know Betty doesn't need a diet,” a third person said.

    Others confessed they had been under the false belief that their cat’s pouch had been caused by a spaying or neutering operation.

    “My kitty got fixed and I thought it was because of that. Now I know better,” one wrote.

    “I thought my vet botched the surgery. I feel bad that I thought that all these years,” another said.
    When you see something that is not right, not just, not fair, you have a moral obligation to say something. To do something." Rep. John Lewis


    Kindness is a bridge between all people

    Dunkin’ Donuts Worker Dances With Customer Who Has Autism

  24. #6099
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    I always teased my wife that we needed to get our cat’s “fat wings” removed by a veterinarian cosmetic surgeon (which I’m guessing would involve a trip to Manhattan or Beverly Hills). This cat definitely uses the “roll onto the back and rabbit kick” MMA fighting style so I guess we’ll leave that loose skin there - thanks KQ!
    Last edited by bennymac; 06-14-2021 at 01:56 PM.

  25. #6100
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    Quote Originally Posted by KQ View Post
    Vet busts myth about 'saggy' bellies on cats

    Parents of cats with “saggy bellies” needn’t be concerned with reducing the number of snacks they are handing over in a bid to help them shed some kilos.

    That’s because the floppy pouch isn’t formed as a result of excess weight according to the Table View Animal Hospital, instead, it actually performs an important and often vital function.

    The loose skin and padding around a cat’s stomach has a special name, the primordial pouch, and it exists in all cats regardless of their weight, the vet said.

    “This loose skin and padding at the belly provides extra protection for the abdominal area during fights when ‘bunny kicking’ with their hind legs,” a post from the vet, based in South Africa, to Facebook read.

    “It insulates and protects internal organs and allows a cat to store extra food in its belly.”



    The extra storage was particularly important for feral cats, who sometimes don’t have access to food for several days in a row, the vet said.

    “It also allows a cat freedom of movement to fully stretch and extend the back legs when running at high speed or jumping.”

    The post also busted the common myth that the primordial pouch formed as a result of the animal being spayed or neutered.

    “All felines, regardless of their size, shape, or sex have this extra flap of skin (including lions and tigers),” the vet said.

    “Even cats who lose weight due to diet or illness still have these belly flaps.”

    More than 3000 people responded in shock to the post, with most saying they had no idea their cat’s stomach bulge had a purpose other than storing fat.

    “Glad to hear its normal. My cat has it and I was a bit worried, even though I know she's definitely not overweight,” one person wrote in a comment.

    “I'm a new cat owner and have been wondering about this. I thought he was a bit overweight,” another wrote.

    “I had no idea... but glad to know Betty doesn't need a diet,” a third person said.

    Others confessed they had been under the false belief that their cat’s pouch had been caused by a spaying or neutering operation.

    “My kitty got fixed and I thought it was because of that. Now I know better,” one wrote.

    “I thought my vet botched the surgery. I feel bad that I thought that all these years,” another said.
    Really interesting…and a relief. Thx.

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