TR - Bohemia and The Mountain of Madness

[Jer]

Please to join me as I recap last weekend's terrifying adventure in the Northernmost Frosty Fjords of the Keweenaw Penninsula of Michigan's grim and frostbitten UP. Saturday I planned on skiing the EXTREME slpoes of Mt. Bohemia while Sunday I would blaspheme Jehova by skiing the horrifying Chute That Should Not Be on the north face of the Mountain of Madness. The forecast for Sat. didn't look so grim - upper 20's and sunny. In tribute to the Necrowizard I blasted Northernmost Antarctic Freezer and 6rim 6oat 6angbang all the way to the hill. My strategy worked and the Necrowizard summoned some grim and frostbitten clouds to obscure the gay Sun. As I neared Mt. Bohemia, I saw something which I hadn't seen since December - the road!

The Gaperhoards of Nebula had scraped the shit out of the Crackcountry, but the gloomy and spooky Haunted Valley and Outer Limits were still relatively untouched. Pooping Werewolf in the Haunted Valley:

Uranus in the Outer Limits:

Some shot way down in the Outer Limits:

Jer's secret chute in the Haunted Valley:

For some reason all the Gaperhoards of Blashyrk gravitate to the Crackcountry. I could hear thier mating calls from the lift - "WOOO-HOOOO!!" followed by "Sa-LAAAP!!!" followed by "Fuck!" followed by the answering calls of "Yeah, dude!". Here are some grim Gaperhoards on the chair in front of me.

"You got your pack full of family-sized sub sandwiches and adult diapers?"
"You know it, bro! You gonna get in a dogfight with The Red Baron later?"
"Hells yeah!":

I figured I should try to get some action shots so you guys wouldn't be stuck looking at the tips of my skis, so I waited by the bottom of a small cliff to completely flat landing in the Crackcountry for some extreme skiers to do a twister-spread or something. They must have all been in the yurts eating thier gigantic sub sandwiches, drinking thier Gaperade and changing thier adult diapers. After fifteen minutes of waiting for a victim, I gave up and went back to the blood-drenched Haunted Valley. Still nobody back there. But with runs named "Thirsty Vampire", would you dare ski there? I didn't think so!:

This next photo was taken in the Outer Limits, near the grim cave of the Morbid Necromoose of Mt. Bohemia:

Later in the afternoon the Gaperhoards discovered the Haunted Valley and Outer Limits. The basterd sun came out, too. Very un-grim. So I headed back to Motel Hell. I needed to save my strength for my assault on the Mountain of Madness tomorrow. This next photo is of icy and sorrowful Lake Superior - the same lake that claimed the Edmund Fitzgerald and all aboard. She may have broke up or she may have capsized - she may have broke deep and took water. Or she may have been eaten by the evil and mighty LEVIATHAN!! FEARLESS WRETCH! INSANITY! HE WATCHES - LURKING BENEATH THE SEA!! Hail grim Lake of Death!:

Sunday I woke up late with a massive headache. After a quick breakfast of Frostbitten Flakes, I loaded up my shit and drove to the trailhead to the Mountain of Madness. I cranked Bjork all the way. "But Jer," you may say, "Bjork isn't grim or even frostbitten!" How wrong you would be! Bjork is from Iceland, which is even farther north than Norwegia. Plus - remember when she beat the hell out of that Japanese reporter? Besides, for some reason "Army of Me" gets me fired up to pound up a skin track.
The following is a pic of Necrobeaver Meadow, halfway up the skintrack to the summit of the Mountain of Madness:

Nearing the evil, frostbitten summit of TMOM.

Finally I was at my goal: the horrifying Chute That Should Not Be on the north side of TMOM. Men have been known to go insane from just the mere sight of The Chute That Should Not Be, so view the following photos with EXTREME caution. The entrance:

About three turns in, right after my Freerides went into insta-tele mode:

I stopped just before the rollover to clean the shit out of my pants:

The bottom was nice powder thru trees. I skied down to the sledneck trail, then continued for a bit to get some extra slapling shots.

The Chute That Should Not Be from the bottom:

After surviving The Chute That Should Not Be, I skied a few glades off to the west then headed back to the truck. I could have been a poserfag and just followed the sledneck trail back, but I decided to instead ski back down the suncrusted, undulating, slapling infested south face with my skins on. I would have taken some pictures of this grim descent, but I was too busy swearing. Bloody and with a pounding brain, I finally made it back to the truck.

Picturesque Satan's Ridge on the way home:

SATAN!!!:

[SkiingBear]

Dammit I miss that part of the world. Thanks for the pics...can't wait for an excuse to make a trip back there (and those are hard to find).

[trainnvain]

Ahhh..yeahh.. I'd like a frostie double burger combo with large frostie cola!



sixforteefivepleezepullaroudtothesecondwindow!!

[skiJ]

Jer :


good stuff > Thank You. J

[Jer]

Did I mention that The Chute That Should Not Be is exactly 666 feet vert?

[BigDaddyLionfish]

That actually looks really fun

[summit]

I just had to come up with a good excuse for why I spent the last few minutes laughing my ass off. That's a well written TR! That looks fun. I like seeing Bohemia TRs... lets have some action next time though, mmmkay?

[RootSkier]

Hey JONGs, there is a teachable moment here:

You can start off being a panty waste douchebag JONG and come around and actually post skiing stoke.

Nice work, Jer.

[jazz m'taz]

Nice to see some bohemia stoke.

[Jer]

Hey JONGs, there is a teachable moment here:

You can start off being a panty waste douchebag JONG and come around and actually post skiing stoke.

Nice work, Jer.

You must have missed my pic-of-a-pic STOKE! TR of Superior, Wolverine and the Y Couloir last summer. I've always been stokey and I've always been douchy.

BEHIND THE LIGHT THOU SHALL RISE!!!!!

\m/

[rip]

Douglass Houghton approves this TR.


Sweet pics Jer! Snow looks real nice too.

[easyrdr]

that chute was super gnar, way to get after it.

[huckbucket]

This TR is also approved by;

Ransom Cundy



Gordon MacLellan



and John Simmons

[pow mine]

Nice pics!

Theres something so satisfying about ripping big deciduous forest like that.

Reminds me of my time growing up at Searchmont not many years ago......anyone ever been there?

[ODHGABFE]

Ah, the icy hell of Superior will drain you of your sanity, as you face the Chute That Should Not Be.

Quality.

[Roxtar]

Nice pics!

Theres something so satisfying about ripping big deciduous forest like that.

Reminds me of my time growing up at Searchmont not many years ago......anyone ever been there?

Searchmont was my 9 hr destination of choice before Bohemia opened.

Jer not only brings the stoke. He creates a damn good sig line.

[Tunco]

Thats some quality shit.

[telepariah]

Nicely!

But I am disturbed about one thing that I can't let go. Don't get me wrong, I actually like Bjork. I am a fan of her musical versatility, innovative compositions, and overall offbeat outlook on the universe. But I can't imagine choosing to listen to her with a raging hangover. That seems just masochistic.

[Jer]

"Masochistic"? I prefer the term "hellish".

I love that video of "Human Behaviour" where the bear beats up the hunter and then eats him. Very kvlt.

Never skied at Searchmont, but I was up there for a few mtb races. They had a killer DH course. I also watched a guy completely shatter both his forearms on a step-down. That's hellish!

[rideit]

Jer, do you live there, or SLC?

I'm cunfoosed.

[Jer]

Jer, do you live there, or SLC?

I'm cunfoosed.

Niether. And I'm cunfoosified too.

[stihletto]

nice tr. Looks like fun and it's good to see something different. looks like you found some goods.

[Phill]

GNAR!!!!!!!

[adam]

this is definitely good enough for necrobation

[cdlv]

HP Lovecraft also approves of this tr: