Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[BlueBison]

File under crazy rich Bellevue College Asians?

Fixed it for you.

But yes, def the right place.

[PNWbrit]

Fixed it for you.

But yes, def the right place.

Canada goose outerwear, skinny jeans you know the type.

[old goat]

Traversing out South Face of Sherwood this morning, near the beginning of the south face proper a snowboarder was sitting on the only traverse track through the wet heavy snow. As I stepped up around him I gently compared him to a feminine hygiene product. He loudly demanded that I engage in sexual intercourse (he didn't say with whom), a demand I ignored. I traversed well out and then skied down through some lovely sun softened windbuff. As I was traversing back to the lift, the young snowboarder rode sideways into me from above, loudly inquiring as to whether I had a problem. (I didn't but chose to remain silent on the subject). Observing that his attempt to knock me over had failed, he then gave me a two handed shove, but, lacking the necessary body mass, he fell over himself. I allowed him to regain his feet and continue on his merry way towards the lift so that he wasn't behind me, as I didn't wish him to embarrass himself further or harm himself. Instead, he went on a short ways and then stopped and motioned towards me with a gesture indicating he wished to fight. Preferring to ski instead of fight I skied past him, whereupon he discovered that he had stopped in a place that lacked the necessary slope to convey him easily back to the lift, and he was forced to use the strenuous maneuvers snowboarders resort to when negotiating a flat. I believe my initial assessment of him was correct.

Lest you think I have something against snowboarders, next to him on the traverse was a skier, sitting below the track but with a pole across the track. The skier looked at me as I approached along the track but declined to move his pole. I hope it wasn't carbon.

[TahoeJ]

^^ That was hilarious.

[Meadow Skipper]

OG brings some lulz.

[jonesy]

[KenJongIll]

I’m pretty sure that’s the airline’s fault. I bet he had the two bags plus his boots over his shoulder, and the airline said he can’t get on the plane with three carry-ons. So he has to walk a couple hundred feet with them on before switching to regular shoes again.

This. This is more of a pro move than a gaper move, although I’d never do,it. I’ve seen this technique recommended before. Pretty sure the guy that I saw recommend that posts here...or has.

[yeahman]

Got on the Six Shooter at Big Sky the other day and was sitting next to a very nice woman from NYC. Her first day at BS. She asked that the safety bar come down, so I brought it down, right? Snowboarder dude starts bitching about how he hates the bar, he's always hated the bar, yada yada yada going on for like five minutes about the bar. Really weird fixation on the safety bar. Finally the NYC lady looks over at him and says, "Idiot."

I laughed. Shut him right up.

[muted]

Today at Snowbird the Peruvian lift didn't open on time. Meanwhile the tram is running back and forth, which if you looked at the status board at Peruvian it clearly shows nothing but a groomer was open up there so who cares. A couple gapers behind me start yelling 'C'mon!!!. Open it!" over and over. Hey dipshit, it's not the lifties choice. Eventually the liftie told everyone it's unknown when it will open. A guy in a green coat says "C'mon, you guys had two days to do control work!" i think he said it twice then left the line with almost everyone else.

Yeah buddy, the Ski P. were just sipping cocoa all morning before deciding to run routes when they felt like it. 2 feet of snow fell 2 days ago, with heavy snow %, followed by very high winds, and it's forecasted rapid warming for current day. You can't figure out why we are all waiting?

The other guy complained about paying $140 for the ticket and nothings open right away.

[core2]

Pic of @old goat I saved from Epic.

[old goat]

Pic of @old goat I saved from Epic.

You do realize that you're gapering* yourself by admitting you were on epicski, don't you? (FWIW I used to post there too.)

[TahoeJ]

We should thank crusty old fucks (no offense old goat) for telling shit-heads to get off the traverse track. It's a public service! Despite his actions, the douchebag snowboarder will likely not block the traverse next time out. Or maybe he will, but it's the effort that counts.

[The SnowShow]

Today at Snowbird the Peruvian lift didn't open on time. Meanwhile the tram is running back and forth, which if you looked at the status board at Peruvian it clearly shows nothing but a groomer was open up there so who cares. A couple gapers behind me start yelling 'C'mon!!!. Open it!" over and over. Hey dipshit, it's not the lifties choice. Eventually the liftie told everyone it's unknown when it will open. A guy in a green coat says "C'mon, you guys had two days to do control work!" i think he said it twice then left the line with almost everyone else.

Yeah buddy, the Ski P. were just sipping cocoa all morning before deciding to run routes when they felt like it. 2 feet of snow fell 2 days ago, with heavy snow %, followed by very high winds, and it's forecasted rapid warming for current day. You can't figure out why we are all waiting?

The other guy complained about paying $140 for the ticket and nothings open right away.

Hate to say it but if resorts are going to charge the ridiculous window rates they are charging, more and more people are going to be pissed when conditions aren’t Epic or Ikonic.

[core2]

You do realize that you're gapering* yourself by admitting you were on epicski, don't you? (FWIW I used to post there too.)

Epic was better than this board. It embraced gapers and helped them turn into non-gapers if they really wanted to. This board shits all over gapers, hence this thread.

[old goat]

We should thank crusty old fucks (no offense old goat) .

No offense taken--I embrace my crusty old fuckness

Epic was better than this board. It embraced gapers and helped them turn into non-gapers if they really wanted to. This board shits all over gapers, hence this thread.

Paging Greg to the white security phone.

[reckless toboggan]

No offense taken--I embrace my crusty old fuckness

That was an epic tale.

5 stars.

[muted]

Hate to say it but if resorts are going to charge the ridiculous window rates they are charging, more and more people are going to be pissed when conditions aren’t Epic or Ikonic.

Good point. I watched most of the mountain get tracked out in the time it took to ride Peruvian. It was brutal. I had 2nd chair thinking I was set but I shoulda taken 4th tram (hour plus wait) and waited for the ropes to drop up top like Hundreds of others did. No one knew things were delayed otherwise we all would have taken the tram. if I paid $140 I’d be pissed too. There will be a lot of gapers with misguided anger.

And for the record, these guys looked like experienced skiers not gapers. I’m calling them gapers because they are idiots and assholes, not some newb who needs a helping hand or whatever. True gapers are much more fun to be around actually

[Kopi_Red]

Epic was better than this board. It embraced gapers and helped them turn into non-gapers if they really wanted to. This board shits all over gapers, hence this thread.

Many moons ago when I was looking for a ski forum to frequent, I stumbled across Epic. There was too much "cub" and "bear" talk over there for my taste.

No offense taken--I embrace my crusty old fuckness

I'm looking forward to aging so I can graduate to crusty old fuck status.

True gapers are much more fun to be around actually

QFT. They're stoked to be snow plowing on groomed. Entitled agro wannabe skiers tend to be complete asshats.

[~mikey b]

Old Goat is my spirit gaper

[powdrhound]

I, personally, am quite enjoying my quest to being a crusty old fart.

Except for this body-falling-apart part.

[reckless toboggan]

I, personally, am quite enjoying my quest to being a crusty old fart.

Except for this body-falling-apart part.

[PNWbrit]

It embraced gapers

Tried TAY?

[bobz]

This guy qualifies. "Dentist and avid sportsman", lost snowshoeing a couple miles out from Tahoe's Kingsbury Grade "says a GPS app on his phone failed to point him in the right direction". Of course, GPS apps don't (reliably) "point in the right direction", but used properly, they do indicate where the place you're trying to get to is relative to where you are. Setting aside that GPS shouldn't be one's only navigation tool, particularly given what a battery hog GPS is. Oh, and he was wearing "jeans", pretty much the official lost-in-the-backcountry uniform, in a blizzard. (80 years old, so maybe I should cut him some slack.)

[Benny Profane]

Got on the Six Shooter at Big Sky the other day and was sitting next to a very nice woman from NYC. Her first day at BS. She asked that the safety bar come down, so I brought it down, right? Snowboarder dude starts bitching about how he hates the bar, he's always hated the bar, yada yada yada going on for like five minutes about the bar. Really weird fixation on the safety bar. Finally the NYC lady looks over at him and says, "Idiot."

I laughed. Shut him right up.

Did you tell her about this place? We need more women.

How old was she? What's her number?

[Benny Profane]

I, personally, am quite enjoying my quest to being a crusty old fart.

Except for this body-falling-apart part.

And hot chicks calling you sir.