Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**cocavaak** · 01-09-2015, 01:08 PM

Originally Posted by guroo270

Family takes their kid sledding.

OMG how stupid is that!!! Darwin award winner!

**nwbynw** · 01-09-2015, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by guroo270

Attachment 162477
Family takes their kid sledding.

For the weekend

Wow!

**stuckathuntermtn** · 01-09-2015, 06:39 PM

Sometimes you have to thin the heard

**Mudfoot** · 01-09-2015, 07:20 PM

As I was getting on the lift today and a guy comes skiing down the run and gets on the chair in front of me. His goggles were hanging off the back of his helmet by the big snap strap and banging against his back, which is not totally unusual, but this guy's were hanging vertical and still in the draw string bag. I guess he didn't want the lenses to get scratched.

**sal the salmon** · 01-09-2015, 09:07 PM

today on the bus ride up.... about 32 degrees in the parking lot..

woman on the bus "yep its 22 degrees ontop looks like we have another inversion"

woman on the bus, trip down "Can you show me how to zoom the camera, hands me her phone"

i dropped it, clumsy me.

**nj315** · 01-09-2015, 09:25 PM

On opening day there was a guy in line complaining about the lack of expert terrain open

**MagnificentUnicorn** · 01-09-2015, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by yeahman

Some guy in the tram today: "Don't trust the Cloud. That's how my dick pics got leaked."

Originally Posted by TahoeJ

Was it Justin Verlander?

Hope Solo

**muted** · 01-09-2015, 09:38 PM

Originally Posted by yeahman

Some guy in the tram today: "Don't trust the Cloud. That's how my dick pics got leaked."

Sounds like a guy making a joke, and a good one at that. Not a gaper if so.

**jonesy** · 01-10-2015, 07:27 AM

Talking about your dick around guys. No.

**TBS** · 01-10-2015, 08:09 AM

What if somebody talks about the relationship between the size of their hand and their dick size?

**jonesy** · 01-10-2015, 08:28 AM

You are not qualified to respond because of your on going fixation with hairy male snowboarders. . OT-I have laid a trap at your clinic today.

**Mudfoot** · 01-10-2015, 09:41 AM

Two guys getting on the chair at Snowbird, and one has a "Canyons" jacket on. Other guys says, "that jacket is really lame, unless you are wearing it ironically, then it's kind of cool."

**nj315** · 01-10-2015, 06:08 PM

Do I f*** it then huck it, or huck it then f*** it

**yeahman** · 01-10-2015, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by muted

Sounds like a guy making a joke, and a good one at that. Not a gaper if so.

You're right, I don't think he was a gaper, I just thought it was funny. The guy was wearing the funkiest hand-knitted facemask I've ever seen. It was bright yellow and held together with safety pins. No gaper would have the guts to wear something like that.

**onlybluesquares** · 01-10-2015, 07:07 PM

End of the day at Alpine about 10 days ago (bulletproof, cold, windy, summit didn't open) and a guy is yelling at the roundhouse lifty for not letting him through the gate, "It's 3:58, let me through!"
Lifty: "The clock says 4:02, I'm sorry."
Guy: "No you're wrong! This is bullshit!"
.....

Also:
Guy to girl on the lift looking up at the summit ridge as the 60+mph wind blows away an inch of dust: "Look, they're making snow up there!"

**nj315** · 01-11-2015, 11:52 AM

A kid who looked like he was about 12 or 13 in line said that he had to shower before he went to a party, so he didn't smell bad if he "got some"

**PlayItLeo** · 01-11-2015, 11:53 AM

In the lift line today, some dude in spyder gear and fancy carving skis was frantically trying to get my attention by tapping his poles against my boots. When I finally looked at him and said "what's up?" he said "did you know your boots are unbuckled? It's not safe to ski like that." I smiled, said thanks, and proceeded to load my 4 year old onto the bunny hill lift.

**californiagrown** · 01-11-2015, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by nj315

A kid who looked like he was about 12 or 13 in line said that he had to shower before he went to a party, so he didn't smell bad if he "got some"

yeah, this might be news to you but people that you don't pay for sex tend to care if you smell like ass.

I recently moved cities and jobs and my new coworker was chatting me up about skiing and buying ski boots. I told him to just go to a good bootfitter and be totally honest- what you ski, how aggressivly, how you want to progress etc. and then just go with what the bootfitter says from there on out. Coworker procceeds to talk about how fast he skis, and the terrain he skies super fast. mind you he is 5'9" 150lbs. I tried to explain to him what aggressive meant etc without sounding like a total brobrah.

I went up with him and his wife the other weekend, and while waiting for them to finish breakfast in the lodge i was asking how she liked her new skis and he liked his new skis and boots. He says he thinks his new 130 flex langes will really allow him to ski as hard as he wants now. first lift ride up(new mtn for me so im not leading the group haha) he leads me and his wife past a blue groomer because the "entrance was too steep" and ended up above a pretty mellow, black diamond mogul bowl. He procceeds to say its is way above his ability level and him and his wife get into an argument...directly infront of the drop in for a traverse across the bowl. i try to tell them they should move over a little, but he just screams "NOT NOW". Mind you he is wearing a too small windbreaker and too small snowpants.

While they are loudly arguing, ski patrol rolls up and tells them to move. Im trying to help by pointing out the shortest way down to the groomer below, but they are both having none of it, so i just go lay down on the other side of the catrack and admire the awesome view(may or may not be stoned). after 5 more minutes of arguing they tell me to just go off by myself. Apparently, they hiked back up the catrack 1/4 mile to the gondola and took that down...then stayed in the lodge till noon...then went home.

They will be out in Colorado this week/weekend. Good luck guys.

**gramboh** · 01-11-2015, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by californiagrown

yeah, this might be news to you but people that you don't pay for sex tend to care if you smell like ass.

I recently moved cities and jobs and my new coworker was chatting me up about skiing and buying ski boots. I told him to just go to a good bootfitter and be totally honest- what you ski, how aggressivly, how you want to progress etc. and then just go with what the bootfitter says from there on out. Coworker procceeds to talk about how fast he skis, and the terrain he skies super fast. mind you he is 5'9" 150lbs. I tried to explain to him what aggressive meant etc without sounding like a total brobrah.

I went up with him and his wife the other weekend, and while waiting for them to finish breakfast in the lodge i was asking how she liked her new skis and he liked his new skis and boots. He says he thinks his new 130 flex langes will really allow him to ski as hard as he wants now. first lift ride up(new mtn for me so im not leading the group haha) he leads me and his wife past a blue groomer because the "entrance was too steep" and ended up above a pretty mellow, black diamond mogul bowl. He procceeds to say its is way above his ability level and him and his wife get into an argument...directly infront of the drop in for a traverse across the bowl. i try to tell them they should move over a little, but he just screams "NOT NOW". Mind you he is wearing a too small windbreaker and too small snowpants.

While they are loudly arguing, ski patrol rolls up and tells them to move. Im trying to help by pointing out the shortest way down to the groomer below, but they are both having none of it, so i just go lay down on the other side of the catrack and admire the awesome view(may or may not be stoned). after 5 more minutes of arguing they tell me to just go off by myself. Apparently, they hiked back up the catrack 1/4 mile to the gondola and took that down...then stayed in the lodge till noon...then went home.

They will be out in Colorado this week/weekend. Good luck guys.

Bahaha this is a great one, put a smile on my face this morning. True gaper story if there ever was one.

**yeahman** · 01-11-2015, 08:50 PM

That story is hilarious. Gapers with emotional issues.

**stizzmt** · 01-11-2015, 08:54 PM

Alright this doesn't really belong here but I can't hold back anymore. This summer at the farmers market my girlfriend was wearing a t shirt with a colorful tree print on it. The woman selling slushies told her it reminded her of the placenta print from her tenth child. I guess it takes all kinds.

**GPP33** · 01-11-2015, 09:58 PM

Originally Posted by yeahman

That story is hilarious. Gapers with emotional issues.

I was a little confused by "placenta print". Even though I thought I knew what it meant I thought no way anyone would do that.

Google delivered. And by god it looks like a tree. That's some weird shit.

http://www.portlandplacentaservices....keepsakes.html

**Skunkeee** · 01-11-2015, 10:03 PM

Couple o weeks back.... Find a bubba in camo pants and a tall tee and a mini bubba trying to use the emergency call phone on the return trail. I'm cruisun up on snowmobile, I stop, ask what's up and Okie aka mini bubba (no fabrication this little texans name is okie) proceeds to tell me that "he's from the country and he's always gettin hirt and fallin off things and nothin hurts him too much but his mama sent him off to find help cuz hiz shoulder iz hirtin real good." The little tough okie huckleberry was walkin without any equipment, no hat, no goggles, if I hadn't of come across him he would of had close to a mile to walk. I get him down to the clinic and 30 minutes later mama comes walkin in boisterous and loud as any Texan I've ever come across, shoutin Okie! Okie! Ohhh Okie! Whatcha done now Okie!?

**jonesy** · 01-12-2015, 06:58 AM

Wow okie.

**old goat** · 01-12-2015, 11:37 AM

Originally Posted by californiagrown

yeah, this might be news to you but people that you don't pay for sex tend to care if you smell like ass.

I recently moved cities and jobs and my new coworker was chatting me up about skiing and buying ski boots. I told him to just go to a good bootfitter and be totally honest- what you ski, how aggressivly, how you want to progress etc. and then just go with what the bootfitter says from there on out. Coworker procceeds to talk about how fast he skis, and the terrain he skies super fast. mind you he is 5'9" 150lbs. I tried to explain to him what aggressive meant etc without sounding like a total brobrah.

I went up with him and his wife the other weekend, and while waiting for them to finish breakfast in the lodge i was asking how she liked her new skis and he liked his new skis and boots. He says he thinks his new 130 flex langes will really allow him to ski as hard as he wants now. first lift ride up(new mtn for me so im not leading the group haha) he leads me and his wife past a blue groomer because the "entrance was too steep" and ended up above a pretty mellow, black diamond mogul bowl. He procceeds to say its is way above his ability level and him and his wife get into an argument...directly infront of the drop in for a traverse across the bowl. i try to tell them they should move over a little, but he just screams "NOT NOW". Mind you he is wearing a too small windbreaker and too small snowpants.

While they are loudly arguing, ski patrol rolls up and tells them to move. Im trying to help by pointing out the shortest way down to the groomer below, but they are both having none of it, so i just go lay down on the other side of the catrack and admire the awesome view(may or may not be stoned). after 5 more minutes of arguing they tell me to just go off by myself. Apparently, they hiked back up the catrack 1/4 mile to the gondola and took that down...then stayed in the lodge till noon...then went home.

They will be out in Colorado this week/weekend. Good luck guys.

Clearly the problem was the too-tight snow pants.