Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

tronacate · 01-15-2009, 09:27 PM

Originally Posted by FeralDirtbag

Overheard on Tuesday 1/6/2009 at Sunrise Park Resort, AZ, after a 12-16" dump. I was in knee- thigh deep snow all day off of the Cyclone lift and heard a snowboarder yell to his friends.

"This f*cking blows. I keep getting stuck and I've got snow up to my ballsac."

Most of the snowboarders and a lot of the skiers were getting stuck. I pretty much had the place to myself for the rest of the day and I was glad that I had my Gotamas with me.

Sunrise blows no matter what.

**yahs** · 01-16-2009, 01:10 AM

How come I always get trapped by the tourons in the Whistler gondy when it is super windy, slow running?

Thank the snow gods I can hide behind my fat skis

Those are strange bindings (fritschi freerides). What are they for?

There's so much snow.. lets get a coffee first.

hosers

love this site!

**kevin267** · 01-16-2009, 01:26 AM

Originally Posted by FeralDirtbag

Overheard on Tuesday 1/6/2009 at Sunrise Park Resort, AZ, after a 12-16" dump. I was in knee- thigh deep snow all day off of the Cyclone lift and heard a snowboarder yell to his friends.

"This f*cking blows. I keep getting stuck and I've got snow up to my ballsac."

Most of the snowboarders and a lot of the skiers were getting stuck. I pretty much had the place to myself for the rest of the day and I was glad that I had my Gotamas with me.

man I love when that happens, I remember I was at mount washington and they actually got a really good dump and it was coming down all day, and all the gappers gave up, and if i ever was on a chair with a stranger they were just having a great time too.. mm one of my best days ever... shame mt washington sucks and I can't do that too often.

But i guess i should give a gapper quote or something.. hmm I was on the chair and hear someone ask about moguls, and this old guy carefully explain that they have a large storage garage down the hill where they wheel them off for the summer

**MMP** · 01-16-2009, 08:12 AM

last year at elitist, groomed out, stuck up capital of the east (staying with friends who have a home there), ran into some people from our hometown who have a ski house there. They asked if we would be skiing there the next day, when we answered yes, they asked what we would be wearing so they could find us. We looked at each other, then down at our clothes and said " well, THIS!"

**nit wit** · 01-16-2009, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by pisteoff

Not from the weekend or even this decade, and not a gaper quote so much as a story...

This happened to a friend of mine who got pretty seriously into racing. He was at Whistler either for a race or training (can't remember), so he's wearing the spiderman suit, and a Japanese tourist comes up to him and says in broken english...

"You racer!"
My buddy says, "Yeah, I'm a racer

"
The tourist says, "You sign!"
and my buddy is like 'huh?'
"You sign! You sign... autograph."
"No, I'm not famous"
"Yes, you racer, you sign"
"I don't have a pen"
The tourist produces a pen. But not just any pen - a sharpie. Thinking 'what harm could it do?' my buddy agrees to an autograph...
"Ok, I'll sign. Give me your lift ticket."
"No, you sign jacket!"
Now this was the late 80s so the guy is wearing an expensive white Bogner or Descante jacket. Something that cost more than my friend's skis.
"No, no, I can't ruin your jacket. I'm not famous. I'm nobody. Just a racer."
"Yes, yes. You racer. You sign."

So he signed the guy's jacket.

I asked if he at least signed the name of someone famous and he said, "no, I just signed my name".

thats one of the best ones yet. he should have signed it "Dick Sucker" or something like taht

**nicojohnson1234@gmail.com** · 01-16-2009, 09:56 AM

At Telluride this guy says, 'I'm a local, I just moved here from the east coast.' What a gaper.

**Munch** · 01-16-2009, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by Hart

I saw this picture of this guy a few weeks ago, and he was caught in a chair, and his pants were...ahhh, nevermind man.

Like this one?

**Parvo** · 01-16-2009, 12:08 PM

I got on super condor the other day with what I assumed was a mother/daughter combo on skis (I was boarding that day) and the elder woman says to the younger "I wish they wouldn't put skiers and snowboarders on the same chair, it's too hard to get off."

My feelings were hurt and I rode in silence. Normally I'm very talkative on the lift with tourists (market researching) but I was withdrawn and found myself wishing they liked me. I wanted to interject into their fascinating conversation on Milton (the daughter was attending Columbia), but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.

So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful.

**skicare22** · 01-16-2009, 12:57 PM

Just saw a guy the other day with the wrong boot on each foot...that was classic!

**mtsprings** · 01-16-2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.

So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful.

Sounds like you need someone who cares to talk to.

I wish it could be me but………….. I just don’t give a shit.

Try PMing Rontele

**Provocyclist** · 01-16-2009, 01:15 PM

+vibes to Parvo

**OSECS** · 01-16-2009, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

I got on super condor the other day with what I assumed was a mother/daughter combo on skis (I was boarding that day) and the elder woman says to the younger "I wish they wouldn't put skiers and snowboarders on the same chair, it's too hard to get off."

My feelings were hurt and I rode in silence. Normally I'm very talkative on the lift with tourists (market researching) but I was withdrawn and found myself wishing they liked me. I wanted to interject into their fascinating conversation on Milton (the daughter was attending Columbia), but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.

So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful.

Dude, you completely missed your opportunity to show these people that boarders aren't all just a bunch of knuckledraggin', pot smoking, losers who do nothing but look like slackers scrapin snow off the mountain and listenin' to that horrible shit they think is rock. Some of you actually have feelings

**BruteShred** · 01-16-2009, 02:39 PM

"whats a gaper?"

**karpiel** · 01-16-2009, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

I got on super condor the other day with what I assumed was a mother/daughter combo on skis (I was boarding that day) and the elder woman says to the younger "I wish they wouldn't put skiers and snowboarders on the same chair, it's too hard to get off."

My feelings were hurt and I rode in silence. Normally I'm very talkative on the lift with tourists (market researching) but I was withdrawn and found myself wishing they liked me. I wanted to interject into their fascinating conversation on Milton (the daughter was attending Columbia), but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.

So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful.

You should have asked if they wanted to try space docking.

**chutes41** · 01-17-2009, 03:03 AM

A few days ago I was loading lifts when a boarder tried to get on carrying his board. I told him he had to put it on before he got on the lift so he simply placed his board under him and tried to load the lift just standing on top of it. He needed help.

**jonesy** · 01-17-2009, 08:45 AM

I don't have any Gaper stories......ppl don't talk to me, they just stare. [shrug]

**aclemons** · 01-17-2009, 09:43 AM

Here in NC, we hear alot....but, was at Sugar Mtn on Weds and heard a Mom and Son ask the lifty - "It is amazing how yall can make snow! Where do you purchase the fake snow? We would like some for our home so we don't have to drive to the mountains every year!".

I kid you not.

**Laxsnowskisquatch** · 01-17-2009, 12:49 PM

Originally Posted by Parvo

I got on super condor the other day with what I assumed was a mother/daughter combo on skis (I was boarding that day) and the elder woman says to the younger "I wish they wouldn't put skiers and snowboarders on the same chair, it's too hard to get off."

My feelings were hurt and I rode in silence. Normally I'm very talkative on the lift with tourists (market researching) but I was withdrawn and found myself wishing they liked me. I wanted to interject into their fascinating conversation on Milton (the daughter was attending Columbia), but didn't say anything because they already decided I shouldn't be on the lift with them. Don't let this steel exterior fool you, I have feelings too.

So gaper quotes can not only be funny, but also quite hurtful.

I wouldve have started hitting on the daughter

**daver** · 01-17-2009, 02:40 PM

"Anyone know if any ski resort or ski shop needs a little help, i know how to wax and edge and kinda do p-texing if anyone knows hit me up."

**karpiel** · 01-17-2009, 05:26 PM

"What's a groomer?" - Person with snowblades.

**Steepdeepnlong** · 01-17-2009, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by Laxsnowskisquatch

I wouldve have started hitting on the daughter

I was thinking mother-daughter combo from the get go!

**Franz** · 01-17-2009, 08:02 PM

dude in his car going down 6 to merge onto 70 yelling at everyone that passed him (there's one of those annoying stop lights there that lets you get on the highway) that "THIS ISN'T A TWO LANE ROAD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOUR DRIVING IN THE WRONG LANE?"
Literally-window down screaming at anyone that passed him.
hilarious

**AbsolutStoli** · 01-17-2009, 08:46 PM

today at a-basin, some guy asked my friends if they drove there. i wasnt there, so i dont know what they said to him, but i got a real good chuckle out of it when they told me about it.

we got to the beach early this morning, so we got a good spot, and somehow the next truck over was full of idiots. i wasnt really paying too much attention to their conversations for fear of becoming more stupid. so theyre having lunch, and for some reason started up the truck (btw, they backed into the space), and one of them wedged his snowboard right under one of the rear wheels, in the back. when another one of them asked if he did it on purpose he, with all seriousness, replied that he did, so that the truck didnt accidentally drive off.

also, not a quote, but our last run of the day were riding the norway double just passing over the park area and i look over and some kid on a snowboard takes out the huge orange "slow" banner with his face. got a pretty good laugh out of that one too.

**LittleWoodsie** · 01-18-2009, 06:50 AM

When I was a beginner, so a gaper myself, I get onto a chairlift between these two beefy gapers. We get up to the top and they are struggling to get their fat arses off the chair with arms and elbows going everywhere. They eventually both push themselves off with their elbows against me, pushing me back into the chair. It was a fairly steep off ramp, and I ended up having to drop 3ft off the chair.

More recently, was teaching this 50+ guy how to ski. Rocks up to his third day of lessons, he is almost managing to get up the button lift at this stage.
Me: Oh, so you changed your rental skis?
Him: No?
Me: Then they are not your skis, you've accidentally picked up somebody elses skis.
Him - a little embarrassed: Can you tell? I just picked up the first blue Dynastars I saw outside the shop.
Me: Yeah, but you had red Atomic.

I've actually had colleagues lose their high end GS skis because some gaper mistook them for his cheap rental skis.

Heading down a popular off piste run with a colleague on the mountain I work on. Come across a couple with two frightened children just as it gets steep and bumped up. The bewildered parents are saying "But we thought it was the piste". Ok, the main entry was pretty packed down as there hadn't been any fresh for a while. But surely the lack of piste markers and series of signs warning about stones, cliffs and expert skiers only should have been a clue.

Still being in uniform we where legally required in Austria to help, and didn't feel it was fair for the children to suffer due to their parent's stupidity. So did the rest of the hardpacked bumps snowplowing with a child between my skis. But I did really appreciated the cold beer the relieved father bought me at the bottom.

**Swine** · 01-18-2009, 02:43 PM

"i was doing some warren miller stuff" - today on the edge of mineral basin, i drop through a slot in a rock band and see a pole, a ski, and a lady about 30 ft. below, and her partner had taken off his skis and was hiking to the bc area under the line, to flag a sled down?