Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[DerekPersson]

cross posted from the worst chair in the US thread

Haha!! No way dude...wow

[The SnowShow]

^^^
pics and vids of gapers = more gooder. great work.

[carl2782]

cross posted from the worst chair in the US thread

That's just fantastic. Thankyou

[Altaholic]

I heard a good one when a gaper was looking at the snow guns going at Snow King in Jackson "That much be a dangerous ski area with all those geysers going off"

[Downbound Train]

I heard a good one when a gaper was looking at the snow guns going at Snow King in Jackson "That much be a dangerous ski area with all those geysers going off"

If that guy wasn't just kidding, that may be one of the best gaper quotes EVER!

[Altaholic]

If that guy wasn't just kidding, that may be one of the best gaper quotes EVER!

Sometimes Gapers are hard to tell, some can be super duper stupid, sometimes can just act the part pretty well.

[tone capone]

I had a guy at Big Sky fly past me at top speed going straight in a Texas Tuck, full rental gear, jeans, Starter jacket, the whole deal. Guy explodes in front of me a few hundred yards, thank god he didn't hit anybody or go into the woods. I go over to him to help him get his shit together and get his skis back on, and all he had to say in his adorable southern drawl was, "I gotta figure out how ta keep from goin' so damn fast!" Non stop flights from Atlanta to Bozeman=great gaper watching opportunities at Big Sky. Hilarious. Hopefully I don't go to Hell now for picking on this poor guy. (Please god don't send one my direction at those velocities)

[Ivan Oder]

My favorite gaper story.

Skier in jeans walking down the middle of the expert slope, pole in each hand, cradling his rental skis in front of him which have slid apart and now form an X in his arms.

I ski up (I'm a patroller) "Can I help you down sir? I can carry your skis while you use your poles to balance yourself." Response: "No thanks buddy, I got it."

Watching from chairlift as skier slowly makes his way down, steps on an icy spot, face plants on to his skis and splits his lip open.

As I do this often, I was in a similar situation with another skier and was carrying his skis and side slipping behind him. He figures out that he can slide down the hill forwards on just the soles of his ski boots, balancing himself with his poles. He wants to ski the entire day like this, but I inform him that the lifts won't let him up without skis.

[R_&_R]

Not really a quote. Said standard gaper is wedging down the catwalk. There's a large retaining wall of snow on the uphill side of the catwalk. Gaper takes a right turn right into the snow wall and yardsales. Apparently, the gaper was in a group with family. The gaper's ski slides out, and the wife snowplows right over it and faceplants. The first kid barely misses a pole and starts losing control and catches an edge. He goes spinning everywhere. Gaper wreckage count: three. The second kid was older (but still a gaper), and he starts laughing at the collage of skis and people. I ski by, and the father asks me, "Why is it so icy?"
5 inches of fresh had fallen the night before, and it hadn't been groomed.

[Altaholic]

Some guy(~50 years old with children): "Do you think I'd die if I fell off the lift right now?"
Me: "Well, considering we're only about 15 ft. up..."
Some guy(interrupting): "I can't wait until I'm reincarnated after the apocalypse, it's going to be wonderful."
Me: silence...
Some guy: "I just hope that i'm on jesus's list of the truly faithful. I think I am. I think I've been pretty faithful... I don't know. I guess there's no way to really know"
Some guy: 5 more minutes of nonsense about being reincarnated blah blah blah.

holy shit! what the hell kind of religion did this guy get himself into? he's going to be pretty disappointed when he dies and founds out that god is a flying spaghetti monster

Exactly why I always have my iPod when I ski, so I don't have to listen to those DBs.

[QuikR12]

I ski by, and the father asks me, "Why is it so icy?"
5 inches of fresh had fallen the night before, and it hadn't been groomed.

I think he was talking about the snow wallhe tried to eat for lunch

[R_&_R]

Probably. You never know what happens in a gaping mind.

[fluxrad]

Lovely day at Mary Jane on Friday. A lady decked out in at least $1000 worth of Spyder, Descente, or whatever with her puffy jacket tucked into her black stretchy pants. She disappeared into the bar with her fashionable attire before I could get a pic.

In line to get my pass fixed, flurries coming down at a pretty good clip, the gentleman at the counter inquires: "Do you know if it's going to snow today?"

[Boom Heir]

Some guy in a bar yesterday explaining to me that he really liked to ski a particular run, but only when it was "paved"...

Solid gold right there.

[ajdemo76]

So far this year I've heard "double-tippers" used twice.

"I'm looking into getting a pair of double tippers".

"Oh I don't want double-tippers. I don't do much terraining."

And I always hear this and it pisses me off everytime.

"Do you guys have those SHAPED skis?" They say "shaped" like this is some new shit that not everyone knows about yet. Fuck! Also, "do you have "afterski" boots?" Do you mean fucking boots you dickhead?

or.... "Do your ski rentals come with skis, boots AND poles?" No lady, we want to make this as confusing as possible so you get one pole, two skis and one boot. "Do you guys rent gloves, goggles (and best yet) long underwear?" Yea you cheap ass dickface, we really want to rent "long underwear" as you call it then wash your balls off them everyday.

[mc_roon]

someone needs to dig up that old picture of the kid with snowlerblades and powdercords splayed out on the snow. anyone know where that pic is? i tried search but no luck

[ajdemo76]

Oh also....my first year working in a shop in 02', this lady was buying ski boots and she insisted that she needed to walk around to make sure they fit right. So I let her go waste her time and while she's doing that, my manager comes up to me for something. While he's telling me whatever he hell it was, his jaw drops and he starts cracking up. I turn around and the fucking lady is JOGGING in the store on her toes! Holy hell....

[f2f]

someone needs to dig up that old picture of the kid with snowlerblades and powdercords splayed out on the snow. anyone know where that pic is? i tried search but no luck

[ame="http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?p=655753#post655753"]2 "Keeping It Real" pics - Page 2 - Teton Gravity Research Forums[/ame]

[The SnowShow]

"Do you guys have those SHAPED skis?" They say "shaped" like this is some new shit that not everyone knows about yet .

I've also heard people say "I see you have the new parabolic skis" a number of times...holy crap

[The SnowShow]

Not really a quote. Said standard gaper is wedging down the catwalk. There's a large retaining wall of snow on the uphill side of the catwalk. Gaper takes a right turn right into the snow wall and yardsales. Apparently, the gaper was in a group with family. The gaper's ski slides out, and the wife snowplows right over it and faceplants. The first kid barely misses a pole and starts losing control and catches an edge. He goes spinning everywhere. Gaper wreckage count: three. The second kid was older (but still a gaper), and he starts laughing at the collage of skis and people. I ski by, and the father asks me, "Why is it so icy?"
5 inches of fresh had fallen the night before, and it hadn't been groomed.

gold Jerry, gold

[Sessiøn]

Thanksgiving day at Meadows. My lady was checking the kid in the Ski school for an all dayer, so I decided to go to the "Pro" shop and look at a bunch of ski's that I have no intention of buying but would like to hand fuck for a few minutes. As i'm checking out the tip rocker on the 182 SFB's, and wondering why they look so short one of the shop dudes comes up to me and asks me my weight. I tell him I go 225 with gear on. He then tries to convince me that I should be looking at the 172's.

[Trainwreck]

"Hi, my name is Daywalker."

[old goat]

The Germans (who else) have discovered a condition they call "Witzelsucht". It is caused by a lesion--such as a stroke--in the right frontal lobe. Sufferers have an uncontrollable compulsion to tell bad jokes. We can now explain the innumerable "where do they put the moguls . . " "when do the deer turn into elk?. ." "do you waterski on those?" etc, etc, etc. The American term for the condition is "father" (I've been told I'm a sufferer myself.).

[toast2266]

This could go in the lame plates thread, but I think its better here.

Passed on the way home from work: Camry driving through mild snow excessively slowly in the left lane with the Montana license plate "IMATEXN"

[The SnowShow]

Heard at Breck today "do they have a park here?". "I don't know"