Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

[TheSilverSurfer]

It is a cardinal rule of restoration that new material always be identifiable as such and removable without causing further damage. I don't see why principles that apply to 18th century furniture shouldn't apply to 21st century snowboards.

Good point. IDK. I never cared on my own gear, but it seems reasonable that a paying customer wouldn't want their base to look like Van Halen's guitar after a few repairs.

[Jong Lafitte]

Not really a quote, I guess just ripping on kids for no good reason but to make myself feel superior, well, maybe two gapers being quoted but anyway...

Dude's got the Go-pro head mount thing on top of his beanie standing at the counter at the Pizza place at the base. Blue and red lights flashing intermittently, so it at least looks like its recording. My wife sees him first and leans over to me and says "hey, check it out, rad pizza footy for the boys" When I look over and see all this, he's paying for his pizza and has cash in his hand so I say to the Mrs: "woah, that's the fucking money shot right there!" we had a good time narrating the rest of the footy as if he left it on whilst eating the pizza (I don't know if he did). "Woah, that slice is eating DEEEEEP!!!" "fucking crushing the 'peronis bro!!" "that pineapple line is SICK" "It is nooookin' red pepper and parm!" You probably had to be there. It probably wasn't even that funny at the time. Oh well. Yeah, we were drinking.

Edit: i should probably clarify that the kid couldn't have heard any of this.

[skinipenem]

^at least the kid want at home playing video games.


...then again I'm posting on here. Guilty. Already went skiing though.

[Alpinord]

MS's snowmobile skyhook story reminded me of a couple snowmobile patrol duty stories:

During top sweep I came across a guy carrying his skis at the top of a mogul run. He needed to get to the bottom quickly to connect with someone but was afraid to ski the run. I dropped the front chain, had him grab on and down we went. (It seemed practical and no big deal at the time.) When we got to the bottom, he let go, got off and stumbled away without a word, his face white as the snow. He may have had to go change his pants, too.

One call was to give a ride to an ill individual down an access road. When I arrived, this lady was looking woozy and outweighed me by at least 80 lbs. I told here to sit behind and wrap her arms around my waste. She grabbed me around my chest in a massive bear hug, limiting my ability to breath. Halfway down, she puked all over my head and down the my back while increasing her bear hug. I almost passed out and drove into the woods. Great times.

[HansJob]

^^^ a lesson for you patrollers. carry emesis bags in your vestivus.

[mmmm...pow!]

P-tex comes in either black or clear, not white. Clear tends to look kinda cloudy and crappy anyways, and also (for whatever reason) more likely to rip out in the future if not done properly (and sometimes even if it is, depending on the initial damage). Besides, base repairs are like scars, you wear that shit as a badge of honor!

[old goat]

I told here to sit behind and wrap her arms around my waste.

Most people put the waste under the car door handles or in a bag on the front porch and set on fire. You took it to the next level.

[Meadow Skipper]

MS's snowmobile skyhook story reminded me of a couple snowmobile patrol duty stories:

During top sweep I came across a guy carrying his skis at the top of a mogul run. He needed to get to the bottom quickly to connect with someone but was afraid to ski the run. I dropped the front chain, had him grab on and down we went. (It seemed practical and no big deal at the time.) When we got to the bottom, he let go, got off and stumbled away without a word, his face white as the snow. He may have had to go change his pants, too.

One call was to give a ride to an ill individual down an access road. When I arrived, this lady was looking woozy and outweighed me by at least 80 lbs. I told here to sit behind and wrap her arms around my waste. She grabbed me around my chest in a massive bear hug, limiting my ability to breath. Halfway down, she puked all over my head and down the my back while increasing her bear hug. I almost passed out and drove into the woods. Great times.

That second story was lol material.

I once scared the shit out of a rookie taking her up to the top of the highest lift on a snowmobile. She was near tears. I guess that turn off the cat track up the run was a little off-camber - we were both hanging off to the side doing the outrigger thing to keep it upright but I've been on far worse runs. She wouldn't ride with me for weeks.

[TheSilverSurfer]

P-tex comes in either black or clear, not white. Clear tends to look kinda cloudy and crappy anyways, and also (for whatever reason) more likely to rip out in the future if not done properly (and sometimes even if it is, depending on the initial damage). Besides, base repairs are like scars, you wear that shit as a badge of honor!

How I didn't know this, I have no idea. Probably cause I've usually had black bases.

Guess I'm the gaper

[Benny Profane]

MS's snowmobile skyhook story reminded me of a couple snowmobile patrol duty stories:

During top sweep I came across a guy carrying his skis at the top of a mogul run. He needed to get to the bottom quickly to connect with someone but was afraid to ski the run. I dropped the front chain, had him grab on and down we went. (It seemed practical and no big deal at the time.) When we got to the bottom, he let go, got off and stumbled away without a word, his face white as the snow. He may have had to go change his pants, too.

One call was to give a ride to an ill individual down an access road. When I arrived, this lady was looking woozy and outweighed me by at least 80 lbs. I told here to sit behind and wrap her arms around my waste. She grabbed me around my chest in a massive bear hug, limiting my ability to breath. Halfway down, she puked all over my head and down the my back while increasing her bear hug. I almost passed out and drove into the woods. Great times.

I was snowboarding at Snowbasin a year or two before they put all that Olympic shit in, so it was still small and quiet. I get off at the top of the mountain at 3:30, expecting that to be my last run all the way down. Go into the trees right away, and rip the back binding right off the board. Walk back up to the top of the lift, maybe hoping to ride down, but, no, lift is done, you're getting a snowmobile ride down with young George here. Cool, I say, not quite getting why George was so smiley and happy, too. I start out holding the board to the side and just my hand on his shoulder. You know, not too, ahem, physical with a stranger. By the time he drops me off 2300 feet later downhill, the board is sandwiched between us and I'm holding on to him like he was my mommy and I was 6. A few times, I screamed like a girl, four feet off the seat. I should have bought him a beer, but I had to get into town for new bindings. Snow was coming that night.

[Percy Rideout]

P-tex comes in either black or clear, not white. Clear tends to look kinda cloudy and crappy anyways, and also (for whatever reason) more likely to rip out in the future if not done properly (and sometimes even if it is, depending on the initial damage). Besides, base repairs are like scars, you wear that shit as a badge of honor!

Everybody talks like they know their way around a ski shop in here....Until they start commenting haha. Thought the story was hilarious, didn't realize that it would sail over the heads of some of these "hardcore" skiers.

Thanks for being real MMMM...POW!

[the_flying_v]

Oklahoman returns his skis with lengthy gouges.

Me: "Where have you been skiing? This looks like gravel."

Dude: "Yeah there's a bunch in the parking lot right now. It's from when I put my skis on."

Me: "How do you get to the lift then?"

Dude: Shrugs with an awkward but polite smile.

[SkiBall]

If I am self-conscious about the looks of my ptex, I have way worse problems going on.

[Flyoverland Captive]

Take a look at a bro-brah's skis at Big Sky; the bases look like Danny Trejo's face.

[jonesy]

[east or bust]

I was undoubtedly the gaper today… Probably shouldn't be sharing this here but I'm all for some self deprecating humor.

Skiing today at the 'top, chairs were icy coming back to the bull wheel due to the guns running in the wind. I was getting on with two +size boarders. I think they must have both sat down at the same time causing the chair to rock back. On the forward rock and subsequent return rock I must have slid off the front without realizing. All of a sudden I didn't feel the chair under me so I figured they must have stopped it. I stood up and turned around expecting to see some carnage behind me and to my surprise the chair comes brushing by me, already slowing down. At that point I was standing in between the uphill and downhill chairs and almost got clocked my the downhill chair. The next chair hadn't left the loading station yet so I skated back and hopped on with them.

Welcome to PA, good times.

At the end of the run getting back on the chair I said to the lifty, "hey, I'll try not to fall off this time." We had some good laughs. Skiing is serious bidness.

[stuckathuntermtn]

I seem to also have developed this thing where I hit my friend/roommate in the head when my skis are on my shoulder. 3 Stooges in the making.

[Peruvian]

I was talking to a Joey at a party last night as he was telling me all about his trip to Cham and the guide he hired to ski the Vallee Blanche and how they provide the backpacks with balloons in case of avalanche. And I'm thinking...

[Timberridge]

Lots of water bars running across the trails on the EC still, but that doesn't deter the local Evel Kneivels.

Happened to look up the hill and see this dude coming down the hill about 30mph doing a 1/2 snowplow, poles dragging, headed straight for the big ditch that was marked with crossed bamboo poles.

Oh shit, he's gonna hit it. And hit it he did. Full eject, he flies about 15 ft in the air and stops 40ft later. He's pretty shaken up but fortunately nothing's broken. I hang with him for a few to make sure he's ok, and he says "they should set that up differently, the way those poles are they force you into the widest spot."

[Alpinord]

Lots of water bars running across the trails on the EC still, but that doesn't deter the local Evel Kneivels.

Happened to look up the hill and see this dude coming down the hill about 30mph doing a 1/2 snowplow, poles dragging, headed straight for the big ditch that was marked with crossed bamboo poles.

Oh shit, he's gonna hit it. And hit it he did. Full eject, he flies about 15 ft in the air and stops 40ft later. He's pretty shaken up but fortunately nothing's broken. I hang with him for a few to make sure he's ok, and he says "they should set that up differently, the way those poles are they force you into the widest spot."

A dead flat bunny hill was the access to the base area from some advanced runs, so naturally, everyone (with crappy wax) tries to carry their speed through this SLOW ZONE. While on police duty, this dude blasts through in a partial wedge and catches an edge, blows up and spreads a yard sale all over the place. I ski up to him and inform him this is a slow zone and I need to take his ticket.

While laying on his back, dazed, with legs and arms splayed, he tells me, "Yeah, I know, but I was in control."

[zartagen]

I seem to also have developed this thing where I hit my friend/roommate in the head when my skis are on my shoulder. 3 Stooges in the making.

The evolution of a gaper.

[Benny Profane]

I was just held captive in my, ahem, dentists chair with all sorts of stuff in my mouth as he proceeds to tell me about his exciting trip to Keystone recently and his new parabolic skis. Ehhuh...ur...eah........said Benny.

[stuckathuntermtn]

Dude.






I bet he got off the lift just fine.








God, it's like he sets himself up!
Sorry. Carry on.

[goldengatestinx]

P-tex comes in either black or clear, not white. Clear tends to look kinda cloudy and crappy anyways, and also (for whatever reason) more likely to rip out in the future if not done properly (and sometimes even if it is, depending on the initial damage). Besides, base repairs are like scars, you wear that shit as a badge of honor!

I think my dad still has some red and blue ptex candles from a few decades ago. Was always cool to do a repair with white or clear and have no carbon in the repair.

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

"This game sucks" ....... Unknown skier who spent the entire day in the bar watching 'hawks-falcons fb game ( his own admission)