Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**MakersTeleMark** · 01-14-2009, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

My buddy replies in a dead-pan tone, "obviously you're not a bowler."

Obviously you're not a golfer.

**BmillsSkier** · 01-14-2009, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

Obviously you're not a golfer.

Oh, both my buddy and I know that the quote is "golfer". The use of bowler was intentional to heighten the absurdity of the gawker's comment.

**dookeyXXX** · 01-14-2009, 01:26 PM

Not so much a quote as an occurance:

This past Sunday (1.11) at Crow's Nest lift line (of which there wasn't one) @ Sugar Bowl: as I ripped down into the line I noticed a gentleman off to the side hopping on one foot. His right foot was in his boots, his left foot dangling out, was bare. He eventually fell down on his ass, working way too hard to get his bare foot back into his other boot. His wife was standing idly by. I watched in amazement and then said "Rocking the barefoot stance, eh?" The guy looked up, exasperrated (he still hadn't gotten his bare foot back into the boot) and then his wife calmly said "Yeah, they're new boots."

I noticed they were close to top-of-the-line Nordicas (the ones with the new gauche, furry liners).

I was about to say something in regards to having gotten a proper fit, but offered up suggestions on thin socks (Smartwool) to which they replied, "Yes, we know, but the boots are too tight to wear socks".

Thankfully it was a warm, balmy day, but I'd hate to be this dude when it drops below freezing...

**Hacksaw** · 01-14-2009, 01:41 PM

The other day at Loveland.

17" of new powder.

Guy with thick texass accent in liftline says to his buddy, "When are they going to pack down all this snow for the good skiers?"

**SkiNebraski** · 01-14-2009, 01:45 PM

So I have gotten, are those trick skis before, and have laughed and said yes they are. But about 3 weeks ago we were skiing keystones park at night and got asked that. The ironic thing was we were dressed in these.

**Ted Striker** · 01-14-2009, 02:13 PM

Not from the weekend or even this decade, and not a gaper quote so much as a story...

This happened to a friend of mine who got pretty seriously into racing. He was at Whistler either for a race or training (can't remember), so he's wearing the spiderman suit, and a Japanese tourist comes up to him and says in broken english...

"You racer!"
My buddy says, "Yeah, I'm a racer

"
The tourist says, "You sign!"
and my buddy is like 'huh?'
"You sign! You sign... autograph."
"No, I'm not famous"
"Yes, you racer, you sign"
"I don't have a pen"
The tourist produces a pen. But not just any pen - a sharpie. Thinking 'what harm could it do?' my buddy agrees to an autograph...
"Ok, I'll sign. Give me your lift ticket."
"No, you sign jacket!"
Now this was the late 80s so the guy is wearing an expensive white Bogner or Descante jacket. Something that cost more than my friend's skis.
"No, no, I can't ruin your jacket. I'm not famous. I'm nobody. Just a racer."
"Yes, yes. You racer. You sign."

So he signed the guy's jacket.

I asked if he at least signed the name of someone famous and he said, "no, I just signed my name".

**yooper** · 01-14-2009, 02:41 PM

Overheard by two snowboarders talking:

SB1: Dude, did you see that guy go off the lip of Corbets at about 30 miles an hour and throw a switch, corked 720, and totally stomp the landing?

SB2: I didn't see it first hand, but I saw a picture.

SB1: Were you thinking the same thing I was thinking?

SB2: Totally! He grabbed it Tindy!! GAY.

SB1: Exactly. Fuckin' sloppy.

**Tippster** · 01-14-2009, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by dookey67

Not so much a quote as an occurance:

This past Sunday (1.11) at Crow's Nest lift line (of which there wasn't one) @ Sugar Bowl: as I ripped down into the line I noticed a gentleman off to the side hopping on one foot. His right foot was in his boots, his left foot dangling out, was bare. He eventually fell down on his ass, working way too hard to get his bare foot back into his other boot. His wife was standing idly by. I watched in amazement and then said "Rocking the barefoot stance, eh?" The guy looked up, exasperrated (he still hadn't gotten his bare foot back into the boot) and then his wife calmly said "Yeah, they're new boots."

I noticed they were close to top-of-the-line Nordicas (the ones with the new gauche, furry liners).

I was about to say something in regards to having gotten a proper fit, but offered up suggestions on thin socks (Smartwool) to which they replied, "Yes, we know, but the boots are too tight to wear socks".

Thankfully it was a warm, balmy day, but I'd hate to be this dude when it drops below freezing...

Umm... You're kidding, right? The socks aren't going to keep you much warmer.... I ski in a silk liner and that's only so my sweaty feet will slip into the boot.

**Jukes** · 01-14-2009, 03:28 PM

In 2003ish, there was some sort of international junior race event going on at Sunshine. My friend T and I are there skiing. T has spent the entire season skiing in a Spyder official Team USA 2 piece suit that the manager of Banff Mountain Wear sold him for really cheap (presumably because we're in Canada and no-one wanted a USA suit).

Junior racer chick (looking around confused, sees T wearing a USA jacket, assumes he's a fellow racer): "Excuse me, do you know where the bib draw is?"

T (pretty toasted from a safety meeting last run, has never raced before): "What the HELL is a BIB DRAW?!?"

(Awkward silence, racer chick eventually skis away)

It's still funny to me to this day

**yippeekiyayMF** · 01-14-2009, 03:38 PM

This is my favorite Gaper quote, and not the part about the racer girl mistaking some guy in a Team USA racing outfit, but Jukes entire post. FKNA!

Originally Posted by Jukes

In 2003ish, there was some sort of international junior race event going on at Sunshine. My friend T and I are there skiing. T has spent the entire season skiing in a Spyder official Team USA 2 piece suit that the manager of Banff Mountain Wear sold him for really cheap (presumably because we're in Canada and no-one wanted a USA suit).

Junior racer chick (looking around confused, sees T wearing a USA jacket, assumes he's a fellow racer): "Excuse me, do you know where the bib draw is?"

T (pretty toasted from a safety meeting last run, has never raced before): "What the HELL is a BIB DRAW?!?"

(Awkward silence, racer chick eventually skis away)

It's still funny to me to this day

**HuckStixCO** · 01-14-2009, 03:55 PM

On the marker board at the base of the lift the ops wrote "Watch out for snow Snakes!" Two dudes in jeans ask each other what a snow snake looks like and where they hide.......I couldn't help it so I told them to go into the lodge and ask for some shin guards at the store......unable to keep a straight face I load the lift and notice them clicking out of their bindings.

**karpiel** · 01-14-2009, 05:34 PM

Not a quote but today a guy went flying by on the left under the LL exit underpass, then I noticed the Texas plates and thought how lucky he was that there wasn't a semi flying through.

**old goat** · 01-14-2009, 06:35 PM

Riding up a 6 person chair the guy next to me keeps kicking my ski's, which are as close together in front of me as I could manage. I ask him nicely to stop--he syas he has to keep doing it or his torn up knee will freeze. He kept kicking me the whole way up. Not really a gaper quote though--the guy could ski--bad knee, 70's skinny skis and all.

**sdf9235** · 01-14-2009, 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by HuckStixCO

On the marker board at the base of the lift the ops wrote "Watch out for snow Snakes!" Two dudes in jeans ask each other what a snow snake looks like and where they hide.......I couldn't help it so I told them to go into the lodge and ask for some shin guards at the store......unable to keep a straight face I load the lift and notice them clicking out of their bindings.

whiteface mt.? i think ive seen that written there before

**gramboh** · 01-14-2009, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by Tippster

Umm... You're kidding, right? The socks aren't going to keep you much warmer.... I ski in a silk liner and that's only so my sweaty feet will slip into the boot.

I'm guessing he means how miserable it would be dealing with stiff new boots you can barely get your feet into on a warm day when they freeze solid and you can't get them on/off. Hilarious either way.

**sdf9235** · 01-14-2009, 09:20 PM

hahah saw this vid and thought i would fit perfectly into this thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxDkI...eature=related

**karpiel** · 01-14-2009, 09:51 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

Riding up a 6 person chair the guy next to me keeps kicking my ski's, which are as close together in front of me as I could manage. I ask him nicely to stop--he syas he has to keep doing it or his torn up knee will freeze. He kept kicking me the whole way up. Not really a gaper quote though--the guy could ski--bad knee, 70's skinny skis and all.

Reminded me of a guy I rode lift 1 with, went the whole way up with his snowboard parallel to the chair, hitting a bunch of towers ALL the way up.

**curtisbb** · 01-14-2009, 10:39 PM

Taking a chair over an adult group ski school......."So are all these trees going to survive this snow?"

**Making a Pizza** · 01-14-2009, 11:03 PM

Originally Posted by pbourdon

Similar to the video linked to earlier there are just too many good quotes in this one for me to pick just one out....

"It's not your fault, it's the ski"

**Hart** · 01-15-2009, 05:49 PM

I saw this picture of this guy a few weeks ago, and he was caught in a chair, and his pants were...ahhh, nevermind man.

**digitaldeath** · 01-15-2009, 07:41 PM

mott canyon at heave two days ago- i am traversing over to the steeper stuff and a skier boarder gaper combo is shredding down- the skier is a mess but his boarding buddy says- "dude this is too steep i will break my board if i get off my heels"

**digitaldeath** · 01-15-2009, 07:44 PM

also at the flats of sky chair I looked like a gaper when i did emergency stop to avoid boarder and caught an edge and flipped ass over end- the impact knocked my hat and gogs off- sadly i was the only one laughing- i said "wow that was embarrassing" and got up- none of those fucks even laughed or responded

**TheToast** · 01-15-2009, 08:09 PM

Copper Mt, avoiding two young girls pieing back up the hill on our way to apres, my buddy takes me out hard. I hit face shoulder flip over (so glad I was wearing my helmet). Come to a sliding stop on my stomach, pretty dazed no idea what happened look up to see two over weight jean and rear entry boot wearing folks, picking up their 1970s era K2 straits, I think I took them out in the fall, didn't friend lets me know what had happened. The portly folks retort with "thats why we're walking down because you fellers on them there ski-boards!" Friend responds with "its ok we're friends".

Side note crashed broke my board at the nose and both carbon fiber highbacks. Thank god I wasn't on my LP Dukes!

**karpiel** · 01-15-2009, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by karpiel

Not a quote but today a guy went flying by on the left under the LL exit underpass, then I noticed the Texas plates and thought how lucky he was that there wasn't a semi flying through.

Good lord, saw the same guy in the safeway parking lot earlier wearing a full on arctic parka, all zipped up with the hood on. I look over at the bank and its saying 35*....

**FeralDirtbag** · 01-15-2009, 08:48 PM

Overheard on Tuesday 1/6/2009 at Sunrise Park Resort, AZ, after a 12-16" dump. I was in knee- thigh deep snow all day off of the Cyclone lift and heard a snowboarder yell to his friends.

"This f*cking blows. I keep getting stuck and I've got snow up to my ballsac."

Most of the snowboarders and a lot of the skiers were getting stuck. I pretty much had the place to myself for the rest of the day and I was glad that I had my Gotamas with me.