Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**45hill** · 11-18-2009, 10:52 AM

Not ski related but stupid gaper quote none the less and i get it all the time. My kid and I were hiking out with our skates and sticks over our shoulder after skating on a backcountry lake.

Gaper: Where were you
Me: skating on Gem Lake
Gaper: Was it frozen?
Me: No but I have Jesus like qualities and can walk on water.

Here's the lake and it had 4-6 inches of ice on it.

**Bullet** · 11-18-2009, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by utard

Duh. Everyone knows that's a deer.

Only below a certain altitude, then it turns into an Elk

**RagDoll** · 11-18-2009, 01:48 PM

Marshal I assume seth was on seths? Or toons. Just curious

**jmf** · 11-18-2009, 01:54 PM

I'm calling BS on the seth story... Even if he was at loveland for the WROD, what the fuck is he going to do with 1000' of 18* pitch that will be so illuminating for the guy asking the question?

**jonesy** · 11-18-2009, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by 45hill

Not ski related but stupid gaper quote none the less and i get it all the time. My kid and I were hiking out with our skates and sticks over our shoulder after skating on a backcountry lake.

Gaper: Where were you
Me: skating on Gem Lake
Gaper: Was it frozen?
Me: No but I have Jesus like qualities and can walk on water.

Here's the lake and it had 4-6 inches of ice on it.

Nice scenre for skating.

**grrrr** · 11-20-2009, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by utard

Duh. Everyone knows that's a deer.

We had a new guy on the boat one year, and we were headed up to the Homer laundramat when a moose walked across the road. His comment - "Holy shit, what's a camel doing up here?"

**PuderLuder** · 11-20-2009, 11:09 AM

Originally Posted by jmf

I'm calling BS on the seth story... Even if he was at loveland for the WROD, what the fuck is he going to do with 1000' of 18* pitch that will be so illuminating for the guy asking the question?

Can't vouch for the existence of said dumb Texan (do you really need to?), but I saw Seth two days in a row on the WROD this October. Watching him straight-line Spillway was pretty impressive, though maybe just because I knew who it was.

PL

**Tunco** · 11-20-2009, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by JMF

I'm calling BS on the seth story... Even if he was at loveland for the WROD, what the fuck is he going to do with 1000' of 18* pitch that will be so illuminating for the guy asking the question?

Originally Posted by marshalolson

G.O.C: i am not saying anything about him, but those skis are for powder. they won't carve because of the rocker, and they just skid around, becasue of the rocker... they are for powder.

I would imagine showing the fallacy of that statement.

And doubting Seth skis Loveland early season is silly.

**enginerd** · 11-20-2009, 04:18 PM

Was just talking to a dude who's pissed about having to go up to a whistler condo this weekend...

and if that's not bad enough:

me: you know it's snowing up there? The skiing will be fun.
gaper: Fuck skis. Skis are for pink parka-wearing d-bags. Snowboards are my domain.

I think he missed the point...

**MassAttack** · 11-20-2009, 04:46 PM

Sounds like the same clown that inspired this thread:

Skiers Can't Take the Hint
[ame="http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=175575"]Skiers Can't Take the Hint - Teton Gravity Research Forums[/ame]

Originally Posted by enginerd

Was just talking to a dude who's pissed about having to go up to a whistler condo this weekend...

and if that's not bad enough:

me: you know it's snowing up there? The skiing will be fun.
gaper: Fuck skis. Skis are for pink parka-wearing d-bags. Snowboards are my domain.

I think he missed the point...

**njfreeskier** · 11-22-2009, 12:55 PM

So I was waiting in line at the tgr show in NYC the other night, and this woman (probably in her early to mid twenties) behind me is talking to a bunch of her guy friends she was with about how she can't wait to go skiing this season because:

Woman: "I just got these new sick boots. They're really cool looking, and are like a clear color with a flower on them."
One of her guy friends: "What boots are they? Who makes them?"
Woman: "I don't know but they're so sick. I think its something with a D hehe."

I tried as hard as I could (successfully) to prevent myself from laughing my ass off. Her friends started to laugh and rip on her, so I didn't feel obligated to add insult to injury.

**slowroastin** · 11-22-2009, 05:09 PM

at my home resort in western new york, as i come out of the trees.

safety patrol - hey, stop.. what were you doing in there ?

me - skiing the powder

safety patrol - thats unskiable terrain, your not suppose to be in there

me - i just skied it

safety patrol - what if you got hurt? what would you do ?

me - im going for another lap, have a nice day

**Wes Mantooth** · 11-22-2009, 05:21 PM

"I'm worried fat skis might be bad for landing of cliffs"

**the_clizz** · 11-22-2009, 05:27 PM

^^was this supplied by that jong in tech talk?

**Wes Mantooth** · 11-22-2009, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by the_clizz

^^was this supplied by that jong in tech talk?

Indeed

still was the best gaper quote I've heard this week

Although I had to stop in to Surefoot yesterday and the lameness of the people who go there to buy custom foam liners and boot heaters is somewhat sickening. Heard a husband telling his obese wife that her marker griffons were way too burly and intense of a binding for her. Also a lady complaining about her new boots and getting pissed off at the tech only to realize she'd put the liners in the opposite boots and managed to ski a whole day like that

**nugblaster** · 11-22-2009, 06:46 PM

Not a quote, but this is mega gaper! This kid definitely hates skiing because he can't figure out why his feet hurt so badly. These pics taken by my boss last year at Deer Valley. The kid was probably also wondering why some creeper adult was following him closely with a cell phone camera.

**Edgnar** · 11-22-2009, 07:46 PM

^^^
Can't tell you how many times I saw this when I used to be an instructor. The first part of my lesson eventually became " lets see your boots". I can't tell you how many times people, even adults had their pants tucked in or boots completely untied.

Nothing will ever beat the the time I watched a gaper kid chase his board WITH THE BOOTS STILL ATTACHED down the landing of a jump.

**bmg97** · 11-22-2009, 07:57 PM

How do you put boots on backwards ?????

**Atheyman** · 11-23-2009, 01:20 AM

Elderly lady looking at a leopard print balaclava made by Turtle Fur that had been sitting in the bargain bin since the 1980's:

"Is that made of real fur from turtles?" hilarious in it's own right until I heard her say the next line...

"because I'm allergic to wool."

WOW...

**Ted Striker** · 11-23-2009, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Edgnar

^^^
Can't tell you how many times I saw this when I used to be an instructor. The first part of my lesson eventually became " lets see your boots". I can't tell you how many times people, even adults had their pants tucked in or boots completely untied.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

I've seen a variation on that theme when I worked in the shop too...
"After custom boot-fitting my feet hurt way more"
I removed the liners to find that they were swapped left for right.

**Mustafa** · 11-23-2009, 02:01 PM

X 564756748987 times: "You're going surfing?!? In the RAIN?!?!"

**skiingsamurai** · 11-23-2009, 02:07 PM

This last Sat at Stevens I took my praxis pows out for a few laps to give em a try I knew I'd get some good comments:

Gaper (looking at my pows): What the hell are those things for!?!
Me: Skiing deep powder, they allow you to float really nicely
Gaper (who happens to be on Atomic SkierX skinny skis): But theres no edge on them
Me: Well there is, but you really dont need edges in deep powder, these allow you to slarve turns really well. Theyre not designed to be groomer skis.
Gaper: I use my edges in powder all the time, without them id never survive. And these skis float really well (75 ish waist) Pointing to a groomer.
Me: sure

not nearly as good as the Seth conversation, but this one had me laughing

**BushwackerinPA** · 11-23-2009, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by slowroastin

at my home resort in western new york, as i come out of the trees.

safety patrol - hey, stop.. what were you doing in there ?

me - skiing the powder

safety patrol - thats unskiable terrain, your not suppose to be in there

me - i just skied it

safety patrol - what if you got hurt? what would you do ?

me - im going for another lap, have a nice day

Holiday Valley? yeah they are dicks there.

**brice618** · 11-23-2009, 02:16 PM

*Dude looking down at my coombas*

"Those are the fattest skis i've ever seen!"

The dude was a boarder so not really that gaperish, but I got a chuckle from it.

**Ted Striker** · 11-23-2009, 02:47 PM

Originally Posted by brice618

"Those are the fattest skis i've ever seen!"

Easter 2009, riding up chair 5 at baker
"now those are fat skis!"
"uhh, I guess... they're the skinniest skis I own, though"
"wow, you have even fatter skis?!"

Skis in question... Mythic Riders.