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  1. #3076
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Summit
    Posts
    52
    "things skied pretty good once I got out of the deep powder"
    100s of Colorado Ski Properties http://www.SkiLodgingRental.com/

  2. #3077
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    PNWET
    Posts
    3,646
    You Want Your Ski….Go Get It.
    https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3982&dateline=1279375  363

  3. #3078
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    563
    Last weekend, at whistler. It was a powder day, but alpine was shut. We were on Garbonzo chair for a while (they had a lot roped off for racing - kind of lame on a weekend with the alpine shut to be roping off even more of the terrain).

    unsolicted, this guy on the chair lets us know how many runs he's done already today. He then shared that he was in another accident - 2nd in 2 weeks - where some out of control guy crashed into him.

    Someday he might realize that groomed runs in the sub-alpine on a powder day are the most dangerous places to ski.

  4. #3079
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    167
    This Tuesday at Crystal. Woman asks her husband, both skiers, "Dear, are our sons the sort of snowboarders I hate?"

    "Yes dear..."

    While this delighted me, I was more impressed by the embarassment this caused near the Crystal lodge downstairs bathrooms. Young girl comes out of the bathroom to boyfriend with crossed arms. "There you are! Where've you been?"

    "You said you would wait for me..."

    "You didn't tell me you were going to take a DUMP!"

  5. #3080
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    Golden, BC
    Posts
    695
    "What's with the fat ends on those skis?"

  6. #3081
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    I-70
    Posts
    3,479
    Obese snowboarder woman after eating shit getting off the lift.

    "I hit some sticky snow"

  7. #3082
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    114
    At steamboat last week sittin in the tram a guy points to my backpack and says 'that backpack must really help you keep your weight back in all that deep powder'

  8. #3083
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    whistler
    Posts
    26
    twin tips are for park they dont work in powder, dude had full race gear on as well

  9. #3084
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    really? You can't guess it?
    Posts
    703
    After they rented, them I spotted the customers on the hill and said 'you have the snowblades on backwards'.
    Quote Originally Posted by iceman View Post
    This is kinda like the goose that laid the golden egg, but shittier.

  10. #3085
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    PDX
    Posts
    299
    Quote Originally Posted by powtario View Post
    After they rented, them I spotted the customers on the hill and said 'you have the snowblades on backwards'.
    This might be my new favorite

  11. #3086
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Glacier, WA
    Posts
    366
    At a Level 1 av class:

    Instructor (to student with slope inclinometer and pointing to a slope in the distance): "And how steep is that slope?"
    Student (holding slope inclinometer up): "38 (slight pause) point 4 degrees"

  12. #3087
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    loveland CO
    Posts
    5
    You want gaper quotes come to the Midwest! After a few seasons out west I accidentally ended up back at Chestnut "Mountain" in IL for a season... It's on the Mississippi and faces Iowa... Mid dec I overheard a couple in the bar arguing over whether that was Illinois or Minnesota on the otherwise of the lake! I just let it go... Two weeks ago the snow and light were shit so we hit the bar, sitting there discussing our disgust when a gaper in jeans and a bears Hoodie bursts in and screams at his friends..." holy shit guys it's awesome out there! Everyone going sideways is pushing the snow down to that bottom steep part and it's all piled up! You can sink into it and throw it around, it's just like powder!!!" therefore coining the term schlowder for us. Hey, at least someone was stoked.

  13. #3088
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    590
    Out of bounds at June Mountain:

    As I approach a mom and her 6-year-old daughter about to drop into a slide path after a sizable storm of light snow on top of a fairly firm crust, I tell them they should really have avy gear (they aren't wearing backpacks). The mother calmly explains to me that they do have avy gear. She and her daughter have the beacons, and her husband (about the be the first to drop in) has the shovel...

  14. #3089
    doughboyshredder Guest
    A month or so right above the far right entrance in to nash (alpental) and a skier is standing with his tips under the rope above the death cliff looking like he's about to duck the rope. My buddy who was right behind me told me later that the guy asked him "hey does this go to the bottom?", as he was inching further under the rope. Yeah, dude, it goes to the bottom. My friend chastised him for being an idiot, so he didn't get to kill himself.

  15. #3090
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Schneedorf
    Posts
    221
    Park City 91 New CEO on the snow between the chair and the Snow Hut, after setting the policy that employees could not ski on their passes until the Christmas Vacation was over, because it was a low snow year and he wanted to keep the snow in good shape for all the paying customers, wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that said CAN I HELP YOU.

  16. #3091
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    is Gorges
    Posts
    4,109
    Quote Originally Posted by fids11 View Post
    At steamboat last week sittin in the tram .....
    JONG

    5678

  17. #3092
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    39
    Quote Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper View Post
    You'd think after a half week of spring break I'd have a handful of great quotes, but so far the high point for me was the kid who got his snowboard caught in the chair somehow and swung around the bullwheel hanging upside down from it. Hitting the stop bar was probably the only thing that saved him from getting torn in half by the platform on the other side.
    Maybe the liftie somehow felt a primordial warning signal cutting through his ganja haze while she was texting to facebook and impulsively hit the stop button.

  18. #3093
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    NorthEast
    Posts
    851
    Kid on rental snowboard & no gloves at top of our local hill asks me "what is the hardest trail here?" I ask do you want bumps, steeps, or a natural trail? His reply. I don't know what that means? WTF? Sent over a long traverse to easy blue stuff. I figure that traverse was the hardest thing he did.

  19. #3094
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Jackson Hole
    Posts
    2,597
    On St. Patrick's Day:

    Me, my wife, and kids are wearing green.

    Dude rolls up on skinny rental skis (~150ish) and like size 31.5 boots (he is about 5'9") and asks why we are all wearing green.

    I answered, "because it is snowing"...
    Ski Shop



    Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.

    Mark Twain

  20. #3095
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Breck, Lahaina
    Posts
    209
    ^Well played.

    On the Thumpertalk (dirtbike) forum today a kid asked for tips on riding in snow. He's from Connecticut so you'd think he'd have felt snow before and noticed that it's slipperier than dirt.

    When recounting his failed experience the day before he said, "Everything was going great until I hit the snow thinking that the dirtbike would have great traction."

  21. #3096
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Glenwood Springs
    Posts
    824
    My girlfriend a few friends were riding up with a single. He was wearing jeans haphazardly bunched above his boots. After they got on the lift one of them commented "Rocking the jeans eh?" He replied, "Oh yeah it's a beautiful day. Yesterday at Ajax was so nice i didn't even wear underwear."

  22. #3097
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Onterrible
    Posts
    131
    Top of Horstman t-bar, getting ready to walk up to the Stupids, an older pear-shaped man turns to me:
    "Say, is there anyway to get to Spanky's from here?"
    "Sure, just haul ass across that high cat track past Showcase and Glacier chair"
    "How do I do that?"
    "Point it and tuck down the groomer, try not to hit anyone coming off the chairlift, or just do another lap of GE"
    "So what's a good steep, fall-line run without any moguls on it that way?"
    "Errr, there aren't any, it's Spring Break and didn't snow overnight."
    "So you're saying that's just a horrible shitty-ass chair? I fucking hate moguls."
    "No... stay on the groomers if you don't like moguls"

    walk away, just walk away

  23. #3098
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1
    I'm new here and just registered but felt that I had some pretty good ones to offer. I work for Central Reservations in Winter Oark and cannot believe some of the questions that I get.

    "Can I wear tennis shoes to go skiing or do I need to rent boots?"

    I had one woman ask me to define the term 'ski resort' and to ditinguish this from a 'ski lodge'

    'What is the difference between a full and half day?'

    One that my boss got was a guest inquiring as to whether we had LSD TV's in our rooms. I really wish I would have gotten that one.

    Suffice to say, it gets pretty tiresome fielding these types of questions and by the end of the season I find myself becoming more and more terse. In fact, sometimes if I get a particularly difficult customer, I just fake a bad connection and hang up on them.

  24. #3099
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    5
    Meadows last weekend, spring breakers abound. This geeky lookin kid on rentals with two surprisingly smokin' hot chicks get onto the chair right in front of me and his left ski tip digs into the snow as the chair starts rising. His ski pops off, and I'm planning on grabbing it to take it to himat the top one chair behind. Dude has other plans though, and by the time I'm sitting down onto my chair, kid bails off the lift. His plan apparently was to hit the ground in a log roll, but his chair was at least ten feet off the ground by the time he registered that he had lost a ski, he wanted it back, and the best means to that end was jump off the lift. He hit the ground with an audible thud; he looked a bit shaken as we passed over him hooting and guffawing.

  25. #3100
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    PNWET
    Posts
    3,646
    "Can I wear tennis shoes to go skiing or do I need to rent boots?" tennis shoes are fine, just lace'm up tight.

    I had one woman ask me to define the term 'ski resort' and to ditinguish this from a 'ski lodge' 1 is a building and the other is the great outdoors.

    'What is the difference between a full and half day?' About 5 dollars.

    One that my boss got was a guest inquiring as to whether we had LSD TV's in our rooms. I really wish I would have gotten that one. Me too.

    Thank-you,next.
    https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3982&dateline=1279375  363

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