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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
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10-21-2009, 09:21 PM #1301"I, the undersigned,
shall forfeit all rights, privileges, and licenses herein
and herein contained, et cetera, et cetera . . . fax mentis
incendium gloria culpum, et cetera, et cetera . . . memo bis
punitor delicatum!" It's all there, black and white, clear
as crystal! You stole Fizzy Lifting Drinks. You bumped
into the ceiling which now has to be washed and sterilized,
so you get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!
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10-22-2009, 03:38 PM #1302Registered User
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- Oct 2009
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- 51°03′N 114°04′W
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At Kickinghorse in Golden there is a gondola car called the "V.I.P." car which is pretty much like any other car but it has a little stereo and some padded arm rests on the seat. I think it is totally BS because the car pretty much rides empty all of the time.
So some lady with a horrible hackney British accent say that she won't get in one of the regular cars, she wants to hold up the line and wait for the "VIP" car to come back down. Keep in mind there are only one or two of them if I remember correctly, so she wants to wait for all of the cars to cycle through while she waits because she paid sooo much money to fly to Canada and go skiing and that makes her a V.I.P.
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10-22-2009, 05:08 PM #1303
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10-22-2009, 11:42 PM #1304Registered User
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- Oct 2009
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- 1
"Bradford now with glade skiing"
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10-22-2009, 11:51 PM #1305
Guy asks me if the toons are water skis
I say no they are pontoons. Gaper: Like the plane. Me: Yes they plane quite well. Him: I don't get it
Thats ok, more trees for meI need to go to Utah.
Utah?
Yeah, Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures of it, right?
So after 15 years we finally made it to Utah.....
Thanks BCSAR and POWMOW Ski Patrol for rescues
8, 17, 13, 18, 16, 18, 20, 19, 16, 24, 32, 35
2021/2022 (13/15)
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10-23-2009, 05:32 PM #1306
I was waiting at the mid-station at the Snowmass ganjola last season with two friends waiting for an empty cabin to show up, and we let an older couple pass us to get on an semi-occupied one. When they walked by the wife asked what we were doing standing around and the husband replied, "hunny, I believe those boys are waiting for the smoking cabin."
Some gapers actually know what's up. right on.Having Fun at Skiing's Expense:
BroBomb.com
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10-23-2009, 05:59 PM #1307
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10-23-2009, 06:07 PM #1308
Maybe they should call it Sonny's Run
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10-27-2009, 10:32 PM #1309
The Seth quote deserves a thread of it's own.....I've read it like 6 times in the past week or so and it still friggin gets me laughing. Winner winner chicken dinner.
Last edited by phuckhuck; 10-27-2009 at 10:46 PM.
If you show me your pizza, I'll show you my french fry
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11-01-2009, 06:29 PM #1310Registered User
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- Nov 2009
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- 32
1.
At the backcountry gate on blackcomb, in a whiteout, my buddy and I, deciding against venturing out because of zero vis, spot 2 teens sitting in the snow, just outside the patrolled area.
Me: um, you guys heading out?
Teens: yeah.
Me: Do you have avy gear?
Teens: Ya, we got beekers.
Me: Do you have shovels and probes?
Teens: Naw.
2.
Looking out the window, staring at the snow covered norht shore mountains of vancouver, i have this conversation with my roomate, a east indian man with a master's degree in computer science who had been living in the US for about 10 years:
Him: So, do the mountains change shape?
Me: Huh? whaddyamean?
Him: Well, are they always the same shape?
Me: They do change shape, but on a geological scale.
Him: What's that?
3.
About 20 years ago a fellow passenger on the chairlift,seeing that I was on tele skis, says "I'd be afraid to ski on those things--you could poke an eye out."
It was a few years ago, and the skis were 195cm, but I replied that I had never heard of such a thing (and I still have not).
That run, you guessed it--I fell and poked myself in the eye on one of the ski tips. Got a black eye too. Weird.
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11-01-2009, 06:41 PM #1311Registered User
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- Oct 2009
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- 6
The illusion is the amount of difference between maggots and Texans.
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11-01-2009, 07:42 PM #1312Registered User
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- Mar 2009
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Nearing end of Keystone's Season in a big southern drawl: What do you do with all those hay bails on the hill? (speaking of the hay bails that must be used to create the moguls on the mogul runs)
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11-02-2009, 01:24 PM #1313Registered User
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- Oct 2009
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Pretty much anytime anybody ever complains about ice in New England. It is kind of like complaining about all the water around you when your on a boat. Why did you get on the boat?
New England Ski Resorts
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11-02-2009, 02:46 PM #1314
I just returned from a 4-day consumer ski show in LA, answering questions about park city resorts.
Lost of geographically challenged folks.
Lady: Do you have information on Steamboat?
Me: Steamboat… Utah???
Lady: Yes, my friend has a timeshare there and we’re planning a trip.
Me: Steamboat is in Colorado.
Lady: Are you sure?
Me: No.
Another Lady: Do you know where the Sun Valley booth is?
Me: They're over in the Idaho resorts section
Lady: Idaho? Why aren't they with the other Colorado resorts?
Me: It was probably cheaper that way.
Lady: Ohhh. That makes sense. Thanks.
Man: Where do you fly in to?
Me: Salt Lake, super easy access from there to the resorts.
Man: Salt Lake has an airport?
Me: Yeah, a big one. Salt Lake International.
Man: They must have built that for the Olympics then, huh?
Me: Yes.
Man (who didn’t appear to be a homo): We’ll never come back to Utah because of proposition 8.
Me: Utah residents don’t vote in CA. That’s your law, in fact, if I really cared about it, I would have boycotted California and stayed home because you’re the ones who passed it.
Man: Whatever. Hey, are these posters free? (grabbed a couple posters and stickers of all the Utah resorts)
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11-02-2009, 03:50 PM #131542
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- Oct 2009
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- Sweden
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11-02-2009, 04:25 PM #1316
Your bound to get a remark wearing a ski shirt. Complete strange says, Oh we have a condo there,ect. OK?
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11-02-2009, 04:39 PM #1317
"U think u need a stiffer boot 4 that DH Board?"
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11-02-2009, 04:47 PM #1318Registered User
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- Oct 2008
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- Zur Scharfen Ecke
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- 348
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11-02-2009, 11:58 PM #1319
(Guy from Oklahoma in jeans eyes my Public Enemies): You a racer?
(Gaper spends a few minutes checking out my Full Tilts): Why are you wearing those? Rear-entry boots SUCK!
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11-03-2009, 12:06 AM #1320
Not exactly a quote, but something that I saw which makes me wanna facepalm myself none the less...
UGH! Learn your ungulates peoples!go Go GO!
23-24: 63. 22-23: 56. 21-22: ?. 20-21: 10+?. 19-20: 79. 18-19: 86! 17-18: 80. 16-17: 56. 15-16: 40. 14-15: 33. 13-14: 56ish. 12-13: 51. 11-12: 65. 10-11: 69. 09-10: 65.
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11-03-2009, 12:09 AM #1321
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11-03-2009, 12:12 AM #1322
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11-03-2009, 01:01 AM #1323
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11-17-2009, 11:33 PM #1324The Shred Pirate Roberts
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- Jan 2005
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- CO
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I can't decide whats funnier, all the good quotes in this thread or all the people who take themselves way do seriously.
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11-18-2009, 06:57 AM #1325
Wow, I just killed a ton of time on this thread, enjoying every minute of it until I came to Marshal's post re:Seth. I just don't know how it is going to be topped, so everything else will now be a letdown.
"No avy training but I've watched K2 so many times I think I know what to look for." -JoeStrummer
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