Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**Orange Julius** · 11-20-2010, 07:54 PM

I just can't stop watching that wedgie video

**The SnowShow** · 11-20-2010, 08:48 PM

Got my first annual "when do they bring out the moguls" question on the lift yesterday...always astounds me.

**SKIORFORGETIT** · 11-20-2010, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by The SnowShow

Got my first annual "when do they bring out the moguls" question on the lift yesterday...always astounds me.

fucking a ! heard that one last year while in UT. almost lost my shit.

**stuckathuntermtn** · 11-21-2010, 03:21 PM

It never ceases to amaze me how many people live around here and hate winter. We are a highly mobile population. You're free pack up and head to some hot, crowded hellhole where they're running out of water any time you'd like.

Interestingly enough, I have heard people talk about not being able to ski in powder, I've seen people fail at it, seen people fail at getting on and off lifts, heard people gawk and say stupid shit while looking up at steep terrain, but I have never heard someone ask about where they put the moguls, or when the deer turn into elk.

**The SnowShow** · 11-21-2010, 03:43 PM

Also got my annual comment about my Goats today..."Do you waterski with those too?" Oy veh

**Bullet** · 11-21-2010, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by stuckathuntermtn

I have never heard someone ask about where they put the moguls.

yea, that's because it's bullshit. The joke has been around since the '60's. I suspect that if someone overheard it, the person speaking was probably trying to be funny.

**tommytravers** · 11-21-2010, 05:37 PM

I got my first "its friday, shouldnt you be in school today" remark on opening day.

**sitskib** · 11-21-2010, 06:07 PM

that wedgie video is classic....

**powderbro** · 11-21-2010, 06:52 PM

Today at squaw I heard someone in the liftline asking
"why is the snow really deep in some places and not in others?" And then I heard the answer, which was GOLD:

"The deep snow is for experts only, it can be really, really dangerous. Don't go in it if you don't know CPR" (said so seriously I did a double take to check if it was a gaper or otherwise)

"oh."

**Goatski** · 11-21-2010, 08:14 PM

Today at Vail:

A woman walks up to the ski valet at lunchtime "Is this where I put my skis?"
To which the ski valet responds, "Well, you can store them here, but we don't do it for free."
"Well, what do most people do with their skis when they go in for lunch?" She said.
"You should just put them on one of those racks with all the other skis. Good luck!"

I sensed that the ski valet had been through that dance before.

Also:

(Red Bull & Vodka couple

)

**bendtheski** · 11-21-2010, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by Goatski

Today at Vail:

A woman walks up to the ski valet at lunchtime "Is this where I put my skis?"
To which the ski valet responds, "Well, you can store them here, but we don't do it for free."
"Well, what do most people do with their skis when they go in for lunch?" She said.
"You should just put them on one of those racks with all the other skis. Good luck!"

I sensed that the ski valet had been through that dance before.

Also:

(Red Bull & Vodka couple

)

The steeze is strong with you Obi-Jong...

**stuckathuntermtn** · 11-21-2010, 08:38 PM

That's actually awesome.

**Skipig25** · 11-21-2010, 11:24 PM

the rope tow wedgie video is just so good. I would have lost it sooner

**Shadam** · 11-22-2010, 02:55 AM

waaaaay back in the day, like 1993 (and I was so core back then, easily twice as core as now) snowboarding in perisher on a farking windy day. Blowing snow was sand blasting the face and leaves travelled horizontally. painfull, but we were on our 2 week ski holiday and thus we were stilll there, buddy and I are standing by the lift, about lunch time trying to convince ourselves to get back on the quad, when alfa male gaper with posse in tow walks up and says
"have you been up?" (its after mid day! Did they just buy a half day ticket for this shit?)
me ... "yes"
Alpha gaper ... "what's it like?"
I looked up at an empty ski hill, barely a soul to be seen out doors except those in pain. and made the most wity respose ever ...
me ... snow!
I still remember just how bad that day was, and I'd rather wip my ass with a rusty SOS pad than endure that tourture again.
But clearly I'm the bigger gaper. Although my buddy couldn't stop laughing ... at me.

**ey_allen** · 11-22-2010, 10:49 AM

I over heard this story at An Evening with Warren Miller last night, and thought it was appropriate (note: not my story, but a good one):

Gaper: Oh, you are a skier? Have you ever skied in Ohio?
Lady: No, but I grew up skiing out West, so...
Gaper: Well, you should really check it out. The snow is great!
Lady: Really? In Ohio? Because we have really good snow out here...
Gaper: Well, it CANT be better than Ohio. Its all man made!

**Garth Bimble** · 11-22-2010, 10:54 AM

Some guy in a bar yesterday explaining to me that he really liked to ski a particular run, but only when it was "paved"...

**QuikR12** · 11-25-2010, 09:53 PM

"The new rock wall at REI is made of this new material that mimicks the feel of real rock"

spook · 11-25-2010, 11:07 PM

my wife started skiing the same year i started snowboarding. we both knew absolutely nothing about either, so she went to a garage sale and bought some 20 year old skinny skis and boots, we took them to usoutdoor store and asked them to tune them up for her. they looked at us like we were the biggest fucking idiots on planet earth. said something about the 20 year old tyrolia bindings being defective. i, of course, trying to learn everything possible, tried to get them to explain what the problem was, but they wouldn't even talk about it and became increasingly condescending.

as it turns out, the skis were 2' too long for her, and we ended up buying some used shaped skis. she went ahead and used the 20 year old boots the first time we went up, and on her first trip down, the toes on each snapped off and she went flying. ended up walking almost all the way down MHX at meadows carrying her skis with her socked toes dangling out the front of her boots.

so we are undoubtedly somebody's gaper quote of the day about 6 years ago.

**thisisastickup** · 11-25-2010, 11:29 PM

A guy on the baldy traverse asked me if I waterski on my new lifes today...

and I thought that the whole waterski thing was just a joke.

**baron** · 11-26-2010, 09:54 AM

I recently read"does anyone know where to buy authentic ugg boots"

**spanghew** · 11-26-2010, 10:08 AM

Everybody who rides a lift is a gaper.

**HotCarl** · 11-26-2010, 11:02 AM

Had a guy sitting at my Table at Loveland wednesday. He just sat down to take his boots off for the day....quitin time since it was high noon. He must've felt like he had to prove he was local to us or something. He mentioned twice how he got "up here when they opened and got knee deep powder" so that was good enough for him. Then out of nowhere he pulled out his last(and only) 3 season passes(the gaper rolodex) just to show me. Maybe he thought I wanted to see what a Copper season pass looked like.

**TurxSki** · 11-26-2010, 04:28 PM

FAIL

I thought a Gaper was considered a clumsy ill-informed novice at snowsports...

Originally Posted by baron

I recently read "does anyone know where to buy authentic ugg boots"

Originally Posted by tommytravers

I got my first "its friday, shouldnt you be in school today" remark on opening day.

What is this Thread turning into?

**Shadam** · 11-26-2010, 06:48 PM

Do you remember back in the day when all the rental shops had snowboards to rent with ski boot bindings?
No? ... wot-ev
I was riding up the quad at perisher and under the lift I see a snowbaord, with ski boot still attached! I did not laugh. a minute later I see a kid sliding down on his bum with 1 foot in air with nothing but sock on. at least he had friends there to help, or not. still I did not laugh, as it didn't seem funny.
I'm glad I didn't laugh as a few years ago I got on a quad at fernie, and whist my board was securely attatched to my boot, my laces were not tied at all. as the chair lifted off I had a sinking feeling (more like a sliding feeling) and rememebered that unfortunate child from many years ago. I quickly pointed my toes at the sky and said " heads up, bar coming down!" thank god for foot rests.
Damn those early morning safety meetings!!!