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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Tahoe City/Idaho Springs
    Posts
    1,641

    Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

    Made the mistake of going out today. No headphones. Heard many a sweet comments from Texans in line, but a Nebraskan gets my vote today.
    "Them there moguls were made for kids skis, not the big long ones we're on'" - 6'2" guy from Omaha on 153 rentals

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    T-town, CO. USA
    Posts
    2,021
    My new favorite is "there's a powder area over there." (see recent Telluride avalanche video)
    Leave No Turn Unstoned!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    921
    Between yesterday and today, I have seen the full spectrum of gaper-tourist-debauchery. The best one I have ever heard though has got to be, "Are the entrances to the ski lodges very big?" Turned out this person thought that you walked around the lodge with your skis on, and only clicked out of the bindings when you get back your car.
    ---------------

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Between one small state and another
    Posts
    1,592
    Back in December, 9 inches of fresh snow on the trails and still snowing, the man with a one-piece fartbag says to his wife in the lift line "I am not real impressed with the grooming here."

    Of course, it was heard at Killington...
    "You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning".

    -Scottish Proverb

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    1,547
    Quote Originally Posted by Binky View Post
    Back in December, 9 inches of fresh snow on the trails and still snowing, the man with a one-piece fartbag says to his wife in the lift line "I am not real impressed with the grooming here."

    Of course, it was heard at Killington...
    I heard a similar conversation between an older gentleman and a mountain ambassador at Mt. Snow last year after a day when 8-10 inches fell throughout the day. He thought it was too dangerous to ski and felt they should take groomers to it. I walked by shaking my head in disbelief.
    It's not tragic to die doing what you love.
    http://www.savemagicvermont.com/
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    Hats made by me! use Coupon Code MAGGOT for 15% off. Pro deals available, just ask.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    T-town, CO. USA
    Posts
    2,021
    Gapers not only entertain me with their funny/twisted/inaccurate comments, they make me so glad that I have chosen this life path instead of theirs! Life is good!
    Leave No Turn Unstoned!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    921
    Quote Originally Posted by DropCliffsNotBombs View Post
    Gapers not only entertain me with their funny/twisted/inaccurate comments, they make me so glad that I have chosen this life path instead of theirs! Life is good!
    Amen to that.
    ---------------

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    o u t e r s p a c e
    Posts
    1,093
    Quote Originally Posted by brannen View Post
    Made the mistake of going out today. No headphones....
    best I've heard so far..

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    the RFV in the CO
    Posts
    264
    "Do you rent Extreme Skis?"

    I'm not sure anything beats the recent magazine ad campaign by Vail with the slogan: "Vertical...as in, perpendicular to the Earth"

    ( for all the Vail fans, that's funny because Vail's flat. Aspen = Rad, Vail = Lame. Aspen = A Real Ski Town, Vail = Built on the Wrong Side of the Interstate. <end rant> )

    Or the Beaver Creek ad where they actually photoshopped a skier into a shot going uphill...

    Working in a rental shop, however, has its benefits...

    Quote from yesterday..."Do you have any extreme skis?"

    Luckily, we have plenty of Apache Recons to keep all the extremists happy.

    Shred steady, everybody!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Salt Lake City
    Posts
    109
    With disgust and dissapointment in his voice, a gaper exclaimed, "Man, this stuff is everywhere!" -In reference to the 10" of powder at the Canyons a couple weeks ago.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    561
    Two douche fucks in front of me today trashing on my local mtn "this place doesn't have enough cliffs"...we're on the chair behind them and watch them both eat shit getting off the lift...I told them to learn to get off the fucking lift before they ever try jumping off of anything.
    oh so i guess i'm the asshole!

  12. #12
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Corner of Percocet and Depression
    Posts
    4,212
    I'm doing WFA this weekend and one of the guys, who obviously doesn't know much about the outdoors, smugly asks our teacher "so, uh, can you tie the one handed bowline?" Our teacher sort of pauses trying to understand why he would ask such a retarded question and says "uh, yeah... thats an important one to know..." (very sarcastically). It was hilarious.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    The Flatlands
    Posts
    2,321
    i was at stowe on wednesday and rode up the lift with a guy who told me that we've gotten enough snow for the season and that we don't need anymore.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    BANFF, at my house
    Posts
    526
    The sad, miserable reality of our stability here in the Canadian Rockies makes the following a gapper quote

    "When are they going to open (Delirium Dive/ Whitehorn II)?"

    These are the interesting, steep "freeride" zones out here and they are not setting up at all... the BC is producing a death or close call every week and skiers still expect snowsaftey to produce instant stability inbounds in tricky terrain.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    north by northwest
    Posts
    9,177
    "Of course I'm an expert skier: I post on TGR!"

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Home in the Highcountry
    Posts
    484
    While holding the mountain house doors open (in uniform, with a smile and polite personality full on), a middle-aged woman slips and takes a digger on some glistening ice. Upon getting helped up, she proclaims:

    "I didn't expect that ICE to be so slippery
    An Evolutionary Rider

    www.PeaksforPeace.com

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Posts
    7,592
    Overheard this morning 2 cars down from me while booting up in the parking lot at Squaw:

    "All the cool kids are on parabolic skis these days"

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Crested Butte, CO
    Posts
    96
    Didn't hear it personally but a local I was on a chair with today said that earlier in the day she saw an adult uncle point to a disabled skier with the Adaptive Sport Center and tell his child nephew, "hey if you practice really hard you might get as good as that guy". I think the ASC skier had Cerebral Palsy. The local called him out and almost tossed him off the chair.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    561
    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
    Overheard this morning 2 cars down from me while booting up in the parking lot at Squaw:

    "All the cool kids are on parabolic skis these days"
    Ya if I hear the term "parabolic" ever again I'm beating someone up!
    oh so i guess i'm the asshole!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Formerly Whistler, now East Van
    Posts
    90
    I'm not sure this counts, since it wasn't this weekend, and it was while I was working in the village (i.e. not on the hill), but pretty funny nonetheless:

    "Where all the whales at?"
    -said by a very confused man who was under the impression that there was whale watching in Whistler

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Aspen
    Posts
    7,462
    Last week I was asked how my Praxis float on the hard stuff. I told him I didn't know what he meant and tried to ignore him the rest of the cat ride.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    GainesVegas
    Posts
    173
    Pointing at my Dad's new Vokl Mantras "Man those things must be 20 years old I havent seen ski like that in a while".
    Sexual climax lasts mere moments; but Deep Powder is extended Nirvana.

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    G-Spot
    Posts
    1,407
    "how do we get to the icebar from here?"

    For the CB folk- overheard as some gapers stared down angle gully...

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Income Spillage
    Posts
    889
    Aussie Snowboarder next to me on the lift, motioning to my Praxis (on a recent 24" powder day):

    "So what's the deal with those skis?"

    IrieRon: "Bigger is better?"

    Aussie Snowboarder: "Like when you don't know how to ride a bike and you have training wheels?"

    IrieRon: <silent>
    Do you by chance happen to own a large, yellowish, very flat cat?

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,797
    how'd they do trying to get down angle?
    Goals for the season: -Try and pick up a sponsor.--Phill

    But whatever scares you most... --Rip'nStick

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