Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?

**old goat** · 03-27-2011, 04:32 AM

Originally Posted by Skeeze

Out of bounds at June Mountain:

As I approach a mom and her 6-year-old daughter about to drop into a slide path after a sizable storm of light snow on top of a fairly firm crust, I tell them they should really have avy gear (they aren't wearing backpacks). The mother calmly explains to me that they do have avy gear. She and her daughter have the beacons, and her husband (about the be the first to drop in) has the shovel...

As long as he has life insurance, no problem. (But seriously--this may meet the legal definition of child endangerment.)

**cultvo** · 03-27-2011, 10:49 AM

http://www.news24.com/World/News/Tou...slope-20100104

A German tourist looking for his rented cabin took a wrong turn and ended up driving down a ski slope in Norway, news reports said on Monday.

The tourist apparently missed a turning and drove down the lower part of a downhill course to a cross-country ski track where the car came to a standstill.

"We sat in our cabin watching TV on Saturday evening when we heard noise from the ski track outside," Ronny Blix told the local newspaper Fevennen.

"When we looked out, we saw that a car was on the cross-country ski track," he added.

The incident took place on Mt Ornefjell in Aseral, three hours from Stavanger, western Norway.

The car was towed free by a snow groomer vehicle used to prepare ski slopes. No one was injured.

Oddmund Ljosland, head of Aseral municipal council, helped the stranded tourists and said the driver would "likely be reminded about the incident for a long time."

**coldsmoker** · 03-27-2011, 03:06 PM

^^^ awesome!

**Crock** · 03-27-2011, 05:04 PM

My dad worked at Killington for 15 or so years- mostly the night snowmaking shift. One night he's headed down Ramshead on a sled, and spots a pair of headlights coming up Header. After investigating, he pulls up next to a Hummer spinning it's wheels stuck in the snow. Hummer had Jersey plates (honestly), and the driver said "guy who sold it to me said it would climb killington!"

**skiing-in-jackson** · 03-27-2011, 06:58 PM

Overheard in the boot area of our shop:

Very serious and hard questioning boot customer asks, "Isn't there a spray that you can use to soften boots?" (the shell he was implying). Wow!

**GimpToo** · 03-27-2011, 08:12 PM

In line at the triple near the loading area, someone behind us says, "wow, this is a small chair for a quad," . . . person with them says, "is this a quad" . . . "yes it is" . . . we loaded knowing the chair would stop shortly for the eventual disaster behind us . . .

**cooks** · 03-27-2011, 10:28 PM

A few weeks ago, the kid is probably about 10 years old:

kid: I cant make it down this, can I get a ride down?
me: sure, no problem [calls for a non medical taxi, kid gets a ride down, talk to mom, says that she will meet him at the base]

about 20 min later, top of same chair

same kid: hey can I get another ride down?
me: wait didn't I just get you a ride down a few minutes ago?
kid: yeah but the snowmobile ride was way more fun than skiing so I wanted to do it again.

I had to explain to him and his somewhat irate mom (who insisted that if her kid wanted a ride down I needed to give it to him) that you couldn't just keep getting snowmobile rides down because its "more fun"

**Cheesecake** · 03-27-2011, 10:53 PM

Chair 2 line at mammoth this morning waiting for it to open.

Some old LA douchebag starts going off on ski patrol because he is a paying customer, its 9 am and the lift aint open. Ski patrol calmly explains the reason for it not being open yet but this gaper starts yelling about how he runs a business and how he would never have this happen if this was his business. self entitled dickheads.

Dont even get me started on those black passes...

**Meadow Skipper** · 03-28-2011, 06:39 AM

Originally Posted by cooks

A few weeks ago, the kid is probably about 10 years old:

kid: I cant make it down this, can I get a ride down?
me: sure, no problem [calls for a non medical taxi, kid gets a ride down, talk to mom, says that she will meet him at the base]

about 20 min later, top of same chair

same kid: hey can I get another ride down?
me: wait didn't I just get you a ride down a few minutes ago?
kid: yeah but the snowmobile ride was way more fun than skiing so I wanted to do it again.

I had to explain to him and his somewhat irate mom (who insisted that if her kid wanted a ride down I needed to give it to him) that you couldn't just keep getting snowmobile rides down because its "more fun"

Pulled ticket=problem solved.

**Canada1** · 03-28-2011, 07:46 AM

My five year old yesterday on a steep pitch had his first experience with sluffing(SP?).
He came down to me frustrated and said "dad, the mountain keeps throwing snow balls at me from behind". It made me laugh.

**This End Up** · 03-28-2011, 08:58 AM

Older lady on chairlift at vail:"This epic mix has really inspired me to get out and get more vert this year"

**tetzen** · 03-28-2011, 02:16 PM

This happened after watching a pair of guys refuse to get on the quad chair the previous run with my friend and I because they thought we all couldn't fit.

Approaching the quad lift:

Friend: Is it 3?
Me: No it's a 4.
Friend: Are you sure it's not 3?
Me: Yep it's a 4!

I push forward with my friend to avoid any more confusion in the lift line and we get on the chair alone.

Friend: So I guess we can only get 2 more runs in since it's 4?
Me: Doh, it's only 3..... Sweet?

**Skeeze** · 03-28-2011, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Cheesecake

Chair 2 line at mammoth this morning waiting for it to open.

Some old LA douchebag starts going off on ski patrol because he is a paying customer, its 9 am and the lift aint open. Ski patrol calmly explains the reason for it not being open yet but this gaper starts yelling about how he runs a business and how he would never have this happen if this was his business. self entitled dickheads.

Dont even get me started on those black passes...

I was about 3 rows behind this guy. Thankfully the rest of the line was yelling at the gaper and defending ski patrol.

**cooks** · 03-28-2011, 03:51 PM

Originally Posted by Meadow Skipper

Pulled ticket=problem solved.

Fortunately it didn't have to go that far. The mom eventually conceded that you can't make patrol shuttle you on snowmobiles just cause you want to

Although yes, a pulled ticket would have been a lot easier.

**old goat** · 03-28-2011, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by cooks

A few weeks ago, the kid is probably about 10 years old:

kid: I cant make it down this, can I get a ride down?
me: sure, no problem [calls for a non medical taxi, kid gets a ride down, talk to mom, says that she will meet him at the base]

about 20 min later, top of same chair

same kid: hey can I get another ride down?
me: wait didn't I just get you a ride down a few minutes ago?
kid: yeah but the snowmobile ride was way more fun than skiing so I wanted to do it again.

I had to explain to him and his somewhat irate mom (who insisted that if her kid wanted a ride down I needed to give it to him) that you couldn't just keep getting snowmobile rides down because its "more fun"

The kid's no dummy.

**Sinecure** · 03-28-2011, 07:37 PM

/\/\ That's what I thought.

**thebirdhunter** · 03-31-2011, 09:40 PM

Went to Deer Valley on Sat. I know I'm a Gaper for going to DV. I've lived in Utah for over 20 years I've never been to DV and I had a free ticket so I went. Besides the water ski comments from everyone I rode the lift up with, there was this classic.

Gapers: Where do you usually ski?
Me: Snowbird.
Gapers: We were going to go there but we heard there's a bad rain crust there.
Me: Yep.
Thinking to myself, yea it rained at Snowbird but not at DV. Not to mention that was 350" ago.

**Climber Joe** · 04-12-2011, 03:45 PM

I got a middle aged woman to say "gnarballs" in context on the tram at Big Sky a week ago... It was pretty sweet.

**Breakwater** · 04-12-2011, 04:07 PM

In line at Jay peak to get a ticket on some pow day this season...

Guy in front of me to the ticket woman:
"where does the tram load"
me: Look UP.

Tram is on it's way into the house, and is about 30 feet directly over our heads.

Which, by the way, is a stupid booth when they're dropping ice off of the cables. Gaper move on Jay.

**BrianH** · 04-12-2011, 05:10 PM

Guy in ski shop: These boots are too hard to take off after skiing, do you have any that are easier?

Me: Are they comfortable when you ski, do they fit well?

GISS: Yeah ... I guess so.

Me: You need to get on your knees and praise the lord!

After some more discussion, he was informed that 1) boots break in and they do pack down a bit, making for easier removal and 2) he was skiing in sub-zero weather (very rare in NM) and that does stiffen up the boots quite a bit.

The guy who worked in the ski shop was very grateful, he told me I made his day a lot easier. Two months later we still laugh about it, and I hear the GISS did finally pack down his boots and quite likes them now.

**ey_allen** · 04-12-2011, 05:22 PM

Boarder 1: Do you usally ride with avi gear?
Boarder 2: No, I usually just wear a bright hat so you would be able to find me if anything happened.

**TacocaT** · 04-12-2011, 05:35 PM

Saw a guy walking, really more of a shuffle, to the lift with one of those T-handle boot carries attached to his boots. When I informed him that he should detach it before skiing he said in a nice southern accent

"Gosh, my friend told me that ski boots were really hard to walk in so I thought that this was normal"

**old goat** · 04-12-2011, 09:29 PM

^^ one of the best ever. Did he also have his ski tips tied together?

Last weekend at Alpine Meadows (Scott chair)--plain white padded bra in an underwear tree=lame.

And not at all ski related but I guess I'm the last person in America to see the people of walmart web site--the picture of the fat lady wearing only pants with her boobs tucked into the waist band of the pants was all time.

**Lindahl** · 04-12-2011, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by old goat

And not at all ski related but I guess I'm the last person in America to see the people of walmart web site--the picture of the fat lady wearing only pants with her boobs tucked into the waist band of the pants was all time.

You're second to last... thanks for that!

**Loon** · 04-13-2011, 12:07 AM

Alyeska, Christmas chute, just before the apron Patrol motions for me to ski over to him.

Me: Whats up
Patrol: Someone yardsaled on the apron and we're picking up the pieces
Me: dude ok?
Patrol: Nah, he'll be taking the sled down, your gonna have to traverse over there and drop, but don't worry I've been sending waaay more gapped out people than you that way.
Me: gapped what? dude, this is a McConkey Jacket (with a smile)
Patrol: Whatever man

I admit I was a little butthurt when I skied away.