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Thread: Best Gaper qoute of the weekend?
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01-25-2008, 01:34 AM #201
In the shop as a bunch of morons are RENTING snowboards:
Girlfriend (to boyfriend): "How are my boots supposed to feel?"
Boyfriend: "Snowboard boots are supposed to feel squishy and loose. Snowboarding was pretty much invented by a bunch of lazy teenagers"
I only hate people who rent more and more as the season goes on...
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01-25-2008, 02:49 AM #202
Sunday in the lift line for Area 51 at Keystone, I'm surrounded by kids in their Bern baseball helmets and pants that make me wonder "how does the waistline stay in that position?", and I'm decked out with nice shell jacket, arcteryx bib pants, small daypack, and full face helmet (more comfy with headphones than other helmet). Ironically (as I am usually the one poking the fun), I hear from a park rat, "say, boy, you got a dirtbike to go with that helmet?"
To kill the dood with laughter, I replied with some podunk gibberish about a 4-wheeler and possum roadkill. I probably deserved the question, but I thought it was debatably funny enough to post...
Also, I gave my friend some B3s (94 underfoot) to try out at Keystone on a hardpack day last season, and the report was that MULTIPLE people commented on how fat they were. At least two of them asked, "well, why don't you just put two SNOWBOARDS ON YOUR FEET?!""I said flotation is groovy"
-Jimi Hendrix
"Just... ski down there and jump offa somethin' for cryin' out loud!!!"
-The Coolest Guy to have Ever Lived
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01-25-2008, 03:07 AM #203
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01-25-2008, 03:30 AM #204
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01-25-2008, 05:07 AM #205
This was overheard at Hunter Mountain many years ago -
"Hey Vinny - check out deez boots, they match the camero!"
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01-25-2008, 08:43 AM #206
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01-28-2008, 09:23 AM #207
saturday, stowe
overheard on lift line:
"you've gotta turn around the powder. if you hit it you get killed"
on lift, on W9.1s
"aren't most people sking on parabolics these days?'
on lift on axioms
"so what's the purpose of such wide skis?'Last edited by buckethead; 01-28-2008 at 09:26 AM.
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01-28-2008, 10:05 AM #208Registered User
- Join Date
- Jan 2008
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- 33
My buddy in his instructors' uniform got this gem: "Hey you work for the mountain and I paid my money, show me where the secret spots are" He wasn't even teaching the guy..
Skiing is for little fat kids
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01-28-2008, 10:13 AM #209
"This powder is no fun."
- top of Blue Sky Basin on SaturdaySki edits | http://vimeo.com/user389737/videos
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01-28-2008, 10:15 AM #210Registered User
- Join Date
- Mar 2006
- Posts
- 12
Overheard a Texan on a bus talking about Winter Park: "Yeah, it's a fun area, but they have so many gosh darn moguls!"
Woman (stranger) he was talking to: "Oh, really???"
Texan: "Yeah. Well, you know they groom for them."
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01-28-2008, 10:20 AM #211
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01-28-2008, 10:40 AM #212
on a lift someone in a one piece said, "I'm thinking of getting a monoski". I told him I thought it was a really good idea.
on the bus after a killer pow day at the resort I heard some new yorkers saying, "it's totally going to snow and be cold the whole time we're here. this place sucks." they were serious. ugh.
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01-28-2008, 12:10 PM #213
Multiple times in Kirkwood's unusually and egregiously long lift lines, I heard such comments on my Praxis as: "The dude's skiing on waterskis." "Those are ridiculous. I bet he can't even turn them." Bear in mind that there was about two feet of variable soft/crusty mank this weekend. Also bear in mind that the people making such comments seemed to be on either 160cm race stock Fishers/Atomics (ideal skis for heavy powder!) or five-year-old midfats.
I'm not really into the "he/she's a gaper" thing, but if you're going to make dumb comments in the lift lines about others, at least do so so that they can't hear you.
(My Praxis, btw, have been $$$.)
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01-28-2008, 12:20 PM #214
Scene: Someplace in Indy.
Not really at the lift/on the lift, etc but rather when "friends" ask about "where ya goin skee-un?" over food, coffee, beers, etc
I tell them (whatever place) and then they always, always fucking respond:
"Don't end up like sonny Bono" or "don't break a leg".
Well, about a week ago, I let me sort of friend dave fucking have it:
"Look Dave, Sometimes, if you don't know what the fucking subject matter is, its best to just shut the fuck up. How would you like if everytime you said "Goodbye, I have to drive home" or whatever, I said "Don't get rearended by a semi", or "don't let your 3 year old fly throught the fucking windshield".
Hoosiers are some of the MOST ignorant dumbfucks on the goddamn planet.
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01-28-2008, 12:38 PM #215
Heading up Chair 10 at Kirkwood on Saturday I overheard "It says experts only" "That's if you want to come down the face, we're going to the backside to Sunrise" (Sunrise was still on wind hold at that point as well)
The biggest problem with this wine was that it had more wood put to it than Jenna Jameson.
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01-28-2008, 01:07 PM #216
Coffee Shop this morning-
Woman-"How do I get my skis off of the shuttle bus?"
Server-"Off the shuttle bus? You pull them out of the rack on the side of the bus. Sometimes they get stuck with twin tips and shaped skis, but pull hard"
Woman-"Do you have the number of the shuttle bus company, so I can get my skis"
Sure enough, she pointed out the window to the bus leaving with her skis still on the side. Little things to get you going monday am!
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01-28-2008, 01:09 PM #217Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
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- Breckenridge
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- 8
So here's my gaper/jong moment. This was in '03
Me, at Heavenly for the 1st time on the double chair near Killebrew (I think) asking the lifty how to get somewhere. Like a complete dumbass I'm standing in the path of the chair not paying attention. I get nailed by the lift double ejecting me out of my skis, trashing my watch, and leaving a nasty bruise on my shoulder. All the while the lift line bursts into laughter.
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01-28-2008, 02:25 PM #218
On Jan 21st, Snowbird, at the Iron Blossam lobby, during interlodge waiting for the avalanche control to finish. This guy looks at my Lotus 120 and says:
"Wow, are you going waterskiing?!"
"Sure, I've been doing that for the whole week..."
"Last year, I bought fat skis but they are at home, 'cause the wide breaks get hooked to my pants".
"Really, that's sick man... have you tried trimming your pants?"Last edited by Ole BCN; 01-28-2008 at 02:33 PM.
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01-28-2008, 03:45 PM #219
"Why do you have a different ski on the left and right side?"
(I ski with the old MoJo90)Ein Berg ohne Absturzgefahr ist nur noch Attrappe. (Reinhold Messner)
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01-28-2008, 04:24 PM #220
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01-28-2008, 05:37 PM #221
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01-28-2008, 05:42 PM #222Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Location
- Wankouver
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- 1,525
C'mon. All you Praxis guys are joking about gaper comments but deep down inside I know you love it.
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01-28-2008, 06:04 PM #223
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01-28-2008, 06:22 PM #224
on whistler, get on the chair with two singles, one is 20 something year old girl on teles, no back pack, no bc gear, on emerald chair, all greens. the other single asks her, "teles, eh, you got skins on those today?"
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01-28-2008, 07:06 PM #225
last friday at beaver creek was good. I pulled into the back of the bear lot for a mid day excursion. The family next to me was clearly not from around the area. The dad asked me "does the bus come by here and pick us up" to which I replied "no you have to walk over there to the stop". Mind you this was maybe 500 feet away, nothing far by any means. When I said that the dad shook his head in disbelief, I was just waiting for a deer valley type comment.
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