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  1. #26
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Jordan's Cabin
    Posts
    510
    In the parking lot at Fernie during the holidays, I heard this one guy from Alberta say, " What is with all this fancy gear, all I need to keep me warm and dry are my Cardhart overalls."

    I guess if its good for the patch, its good for the hill
    "A lack of planning and preparation on your part does not make it an emergency on my part."

  2. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Posts
    2,806
    "Its a cannon. They use it to shoot down avalanches from those chutes up there."
    -Woman explaining to her friends what the snowgun under the lift was.

  3. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Sandy
    Posts
    4,656
    Ran into a group of people coming out of the white pine trail head yesterday with their downhill gear. They noticed I had a BC setup:
    "I think you guys are on to something with this back country stuff, I could never have an experience like that at a resort."

  4. #29
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Right Coast transplant
    Posts
    3,026
    no quote from this weekend. Just what I saw while tooling around at bolton

    A guy wearing an avalung.

    picture that
    Live

  5. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    65
    In the lift line, a kid next to me asks his mother "why are those ski poles bent" (referring to a guy with curved poles). "Shhh. Some people aren't as fortunate as we are"

  6. #31
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Eagle County
    Posts
    12,030
    while eating lunch today, a gaper saw our beacon and said, "why would you want to ski the BC when the bumps in the resort are soooooo good."
    ROLL TIDE ROLL

  7. #32
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    MT
    Posts
    4,007
    Quote Originally Posted by rossibandit View Post
    In the parking lot at Fernie during the holidays, I heard this one guy from Alberta say, " What is with all this fancy gear, all I need to keep me warm and dry are my Cardhart overalls."

    I guess if its good for the patch, its good for the hill
    Honestly, he is probably right. That winter carhart gear is bomb.

  8. #33
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    GainesVegas
    Posts
    173
    Quote Originally Posted by palosgrandes View Post
    In the lift line, a kid next to me asks his mother "why are those ski poles bent" (referring to a guy with curved poles). "Shhh. Some people aren't as fortunate as we are"
    And most people are smarter than you are.
    Sexual climax lasts mere moments; but Deep Powder is extended Nirvana.

  9. #34
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Boyne
    Posts
    598
    I'm riding the lift with a dude and his girlfriend.
    deuche bag: So how was all the powder? (says it very sarcastically showing off for his girly, only an inch of new snow)
    Me: actually these are my hardpack skis (gots)
    deuche: well you must not be from around here because those don't work here.
    He then feels the need to explain to me all the reasons my skis are wrong and his are right all while impressing the girlie-so being the good guy I am I preceded to hit on his woman once at the top he says he wants to see me ski so I straight line the 400 vert of double black gnar and for some reason never see him again.........I win

    btw this is at boyne mtn.

  10. #35
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Tahoe City/Idaho Springs
    Posts
    1,641
    i havent heard anyone mention the classic, "WATCH THIS!(southern twang)"
    followed by a massive crash
    kinda like M.Cumsteins Lake Chutes video
    or the kid who tried one of the booters in the park today. i dont know if anyone saw it, but this snowboarder pretty much looked like he was sitting in a lawnchair about 20' off of the ground
    the landing was not pretty

  11. #36
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    8530' MST/200' EST
    Posts
    2,232
    the skis i just picked up from a swap have a hows my skiing sticker which i have yet to remove, and someone said, thats a funny sticker, whats the hotline?

    also, numerous neon abundant and 40 year old masters racer asked me why my karmas were so fat, and that they must be great in the deep snow here at stowe
    i proceeded to keep right up with his gs turns and pass him.
    http://coldsmokechronicles.blogspot.com

    "If we can't bring the mountain to the party, let's bring the PARTY to the MOUNTAIN!"

    "especially if you beat it like AKPM on a lonely alaskan night" brice618

    Jer
    I told you I was retarded!!!!

    ectreeskier11
    and the truth comes out

  12. #37
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    gunnison valley
    Posts
    726
    Quote Originally Posted by brannen View Post
    Heard many a sweet comments from Texans in line, but a Nebraskan gets my vote today.
    "Them there moguls were made for kids skis, not the big long ones we're on'" - 6'2" guy from Omaha on 153 rentals
    I'll have to agree with that guy. Moguls SUCK. Does everyone have to turn so goddamn often?

  13. #38
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    The Beach
    Posts
    1,085
    Gaper on the gondola with early 90s straight skis, commenting on my PEs: "Wow those are fat skis, any fatter and you might as well strap one of those goofy snowboards to your feat".

  14. #39
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    sandy, sl,ut
    Posts
    7,803
    I work at a rental shop over the holidays to get a free pass when I'm back home.

    I had a customer come up to me this year to get skis. I looked at his little form, which said he was an intermediate skier. Since I work at Buttermilk, I ussually ask a couple questions to double check this.

    "So what kinds of runs to you like?"
    "Huh?"
    "You know, do you stick mostly to blue runs, or do you skis some blacks too?"
    "Oh, I've never skied out here, but I can ski plenty of blacks."
    "Oh, ok, where have you skied before?"
    "Just North Carolina."
    "I didn't know they have blacks in N. Carolina."
    "Oh they have plenty. I don't think any skiers out here can handle N. Carolina's terrain."

    This last bit was said without a hint of sarcasm, and just a little arrogance.
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________
    "We don't need predator control, we need whiner control. Anyone who complains that "the gummint oughta do sumpin" about the wolves and coyotes should be darted, caged, and released in a more suitable habitat for them, like the middle of Manhattan." - Spats

    "I'm constantly doing things I can't do. Thats how I get to do them." - Pablo Picasso

  15. #40
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Eagle River Alaska
    Posts
    10,784
    Quote Originally Posted by shit sandwich View Post
    Two douche fucks in front of me today trashing on my local mtn "this place doesn't have enough cliffs"...we're on the chair behind them and watch them both eat shit getting off the lift...I told them to learn to get off the fucking lift before they ever try jumping off of anything.
    they were both on snowboards huh?
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care

  16. #41
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Eagle River Alaska
    Posts
    10,784
    Quote Originally Posted by gunniride View Post
    I'll have to agree with that guy. Moguls SUCK. Does everyone have to turn so goddamn often?

    actually you can blame that on snowboarders
    Its not that I suck at spelling, its that I just don't care

  17. #42
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    happy place
    Posts
    175
    Today I heard a gaper say "Hey guys! Great day! Where you headed?" "Oh, how is coming out in the dark?"
    Summit: The Nancy Grace of TGR

  18. #43
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    83

    this thread:

    There i was, perusing a sweet TR:
    It's all about sincerity, once you can fake that you have it made.

  19. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    North Lake Taco (The Best Shore)
    Posts
    683
    Quote Originally Posted by ak_powder_monkey View Post
    they were both on snowboards huh?
    I read this one today...

  20. #45
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    JH
    Posts
    253
    not exactly skiing related, but something funny...

    overheard some guy talking to a friend...
    "dude, let's take a piss in the snow! i've only ever done it two times before..."

  21. #46
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    nanny-state
    Posts
    905
    There are some good ones in this thread. I recently did a month of hard time in the retail trenches. I almost always have saintlike patience with the gapers, having honed my skills in this regard over the better part of a decade.

    But if I have to listen to one more Right Coast fucktard question whether or not there actually is skiing in New Mexico, I'm going to get arrested for assault.
    If you're a relatively moral, ethical person, there's no inherent drive to kiss ass and beg for forgiveness and promise to never do it again, which is what mostly goes on in church. -YetiMan

  22. #47
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Raleigh, NC
    Posts
    6
    Quote Originally Posted by leroy jenkins View Post
    I work at a rental shop over the holidays to get a free pass when I'm back home.

    I had a customer come up to me this year to get skis. I looked at his little form, which said he was an intermediate skier. Since I work at Buttermilk, I ussually ask a couple questions to double check this.

    "So what kinds of runs to you like?"
    "Huh?"
    "You know, do you stick mostly to blue runs, or do you skis some blacks too?"
    "Oh, I've never skied out here, but I can ski plenty of blacks."
    "Oh, ok, where have you skied before?"
    "Just North Carolina."
    "I didn't know they have blacks in N. Carolina."
    "Oh they have plenty. I don't think any skiers out here can handle N. Carolina's terrain."

    This last bit was said without a hint of sarcasm, and just a little arrogance.
    You have no idea... That 200 ft of vert on Whoop-de-doo (the double black at Sugar Mountain) is intense... I dunno how anyone can ski it.



    Really it's pretty much a joke, just like everything else here. It's still better than nothing.

  23. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    99
    So I was waxing some of my skis today. A friend swung in and I waxed his board for him. I noticed that he had a shocked look on his face for the price of ski wax. I ignored it. He then asked me why I don't just use candle wax? I stood there and let that one sink in a little bit.........
    -Chris

  24. #49
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Adelaide Australia
    Posts
    451
    Heard a couple of good ones at St Moritz a couple of years ago.

    English lady with the poshest voice you have ever heard "where have you boys been skiing?"
    Us Aussie dirtbags "over there" pointing to a small powder bowl between two groomers
    English lady "ooo I never go off piste without my guide"

    About ten mins later at the top of the chair we see a family group lead by a hard arse british army looking guy with a mostache. His family look so depressed. We soon found out why when he poled away bellowing at the top of his lungs "BEGIN". It became our chant for the rest of the trip.
    "When the mountains speak, wise men listen" -John Muir

  25. #50
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    the Low Sierra
    Posts
    10,231
    Quote Originally Posted by montanaskier View Post
    while eating lunch today, a gaper saw our beacon and said, "why would you want to ski the BC when the bumps in the resort are soooooo good."
    while eating lunch at Beaver Creek in between bump sessions right?

    oh, and PAGE TOP BITCHES!

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