Page 1 of 25 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 610
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    2,140

    TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

    So as most of you know, i moved from Denver to Aspen this past weekend.......and as you may recall, my first night when i moved to Denver from NYC was pretty memorable with my female roommate......well my first night in Aspen has that beat by a long shot......

    Here goes:
    So last week i came to Aspen to see if i could pull off a mid-winter move out here. I lucked out and found bedroom available in a condo at the base of the mountain with access to a sweet hot tub and pool. My roommate it turns out is a 44 year old cougar who is very hot and loves to party. She acts like she is 25 and used to be a professional jet ski racer.......i packed up my bags in Denver and drove up on Saturday to move into the place. However, she said the maid haden't come yet to clean my room so i would have to wait till Sunday to move in. No problem i said i can crash at my friends place and i'll see you tomorrow. She then tells me that its her 44th birthday and a few of her friends are partying so i should drop by.

    What the hell i thought, so i picked up a case of beer and walked to her (my new) place. I walked in the door to the scene of about 10 hot cougars dancing in the living room, passing around a bottle of goose. They all yell at me - "hey its the new roomie, come take a pull". So i take a pull and one of the chicks starts making out with me.......not a bad way to start the night......i figure damn i picked a good place to live.

    So the night continues and we start getting real drunk. A few of the ladies start to make out with each other and take their clothes off......then they start sucking each others tits......damn where the hell am i living i thought...... But the ratio was definitely in my favor - about 10 chicks and 3 dudes.....the chicks ranged in age from 22 to 46 so i start hitting on some hot 22 year old South Africa chick but when we got to a bar later on, the oldest of the bunch starts chattin me up and invites me onto the dance floor.......so i start dancin like its 1985 an she is diggin me. 2 bars latter and a bunch of shots, she starts talkin dirty. She wispers in my ear a few questions....."do you like to eat pussy?" "Have you ever been with a 46 year old?" To those i answer, "give me a fork and knife and i will eat it all night" and "No i haven't but i would love to put my 24 year old cock in you"..........

    So we head out soon after that and head back to "my" place which i have still not moved into. We walk into the door and my roommate is there and shes like woohooo are you guys gonna fuck or what! So we go into "my" room which doesn't have any sheets or anything in it and we go at it. Oh and i forgot to mention she is 46, super in shape with big fake titties..... She starts screamin and talkin all dirty - then she starts making cougar noises and scratching me, telling me shes my cougar and i'm her naughty little boy........we had a solid 2 hour rail session and damn she taught me some moves.

    When i woke up i was like damn where am i........then i looked over and saw this 46 year old woman smiling at me.......we did it again and then she left to wait for a furnature delivery at her house.......she said she wanted to "play" again sometime....then i had to go get my truck and move stuff into my new room which i had just christened.....my roomate thought it was great.....god damn i love this town......


    Oh so then i finally move in and get settled and who comes over for a drink last night......my 46 year old cougar friend.........so we had a little more fun......

    So now i guess i have a cougar to booty call after just 3 days living in this town.......hot damn did i make the right move......i kind of feel like T.J. Burke with Brice Kellogg.....


    Oh and yea yea yea no pics but i will work on it.........

  2. #2
    BLOOD SWEAT STEEL Guest
    WOW.

    Jackpot!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Orangina
    Posts
    7,141

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Raps View Post
    .......so i start dancin like its 1985 an she is diggin me.
    Did anyone else laugh hysterically at this?


    ....."do you like to eat pussy?" "Have you ever been with a 46 year old?" To those i answer, "give me a fork and knife and i will eat it all night" and "No i haven't but i would love to put my 24 year old cock in you"..........

    Dear Diary: Jackpot. [/Glen Quagmire]

    Awesome, Raps. I fuckin' love it.
    "All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Fauntleroy
    Posts
    1,572
    POTD! Facking Awesome! This almost deserves a running weekly update.

    Edit:
    22 vs. 44. Damn. DAMN! There has got to be a phrase for that: "The cradle IS the robber!" maybe?
    Last edited by MrZach; 01-15-2008 at 03:25 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    north by northwest
    Posts
    9,255
    let me be the first to call bullshit. my bullshit will last until you've provided photographic material of said cougars. no action shots, please.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    WHEREAS,
    Posts
    12,998
    I thought you were just typing out of a Penthouse forum

    WAY TO FUCKING GO, RAPS!
    Quote Originally Posted by Roo View Post
    I don't think I've ever seen mental illness so faithfully rendered in html.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    be here now
    Posts
    4,944
    sounds like you are in for one hell of a pussy filled winter.

    jeezus....jackpot is right. just keep it wrapped up.
    Let me lock in the system at Warp 2
    Push it on into systematic overdrive
    You know what to do

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Flavor Country
    Posts
    2,565
    I was about to say that the rest of us Aspen mags should roll out a welcome wagon for you, but I don't know if any of us could top that. Nice work and welcome to town(and ditto on keeping it wrapped up).
    "They don't think it be like it is, but it do."

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    11,622
    Welcome to Aspen. Now go find their daughters too.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    2,140
    Haha thanks fellas, i have been walking around with a huge smile on my face for the last couple days......

    f2f.......i've been around this board too long to make up shit like this........and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand......i will work on pics though, shes a kinky one........

    And Zach, its 24 vs. 46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......she moved to this town before i was born

    Edit: Yes i did wrap it up!
    Last edited by Raps; 01-15-2008 at 03:33 PM.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2001
    Location
    Babylon
    Posts
    10,154
    fricken told you you would like Aspen.
    thats awesome.
    What I learned living in Aspen
    How to ski bumps
    &
    Best thing about older women is they know what they want, they will ask for it, and they are not shy nor embarrassed about it....
    Last edited by Woodsy; 01-15-2008 at 03:35 PM.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    332
    Good god what a fucking story, way to go. If it turns out she is married to some rich old guy make sure you take his finest bottle of liquor just and leave a little thank you note.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Republik Indonesia
    Posts
    8,352
    You should have moved to Aspen when I was single....Not that I was really on a bad luck streak, heh.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    ne pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,324

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    north by northwest
    Posts
    9,255
    Quote Originally Posted by Raps View Post
    f2f.......i've been around this board too long to make up shit like this........and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand......i will work on pics though, shes a kinky one........
    my comment was good natured, raps. i don't want to call you out, simply asking for pictures.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    2,140
    Quote Originally Posted by f2f View Post
    my comment was good natured, raps. i don't want to call you out, simply asking for pictures.
    Haha gotcha......i will put my camera on my nightstand so if we get busy again i can knock it over and say "oooo look i left my camera out! Why don't you show me that pretty smile........"

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Down In A Hole, Up in the Sky
    Posts
    25,124
    Get em' all to join the Forum.
    Could be some good fun...
    StokePimpin' ain't easy

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    102

    Thumbs up

    Yessss!!!!!!

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Big in Japan
    Posts
    36,230
    Yeah, but deep down, when the lights are out and the party is over, dont'cha just really want just a little love and cuddling?

    I'll be the first to say, where are the fucking pix?

    Let's do some livin'
    After, we die

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    744
    We might need a Sticky titled " Raps winter in Aspen."

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,585
    Quote Originally Posted by Raps View Post
    used to be a professional jet ski racer.......
    ROTFLMAO. This is worth repeating. Too 'effin funny. What were jet skis like 26 years ago anyway?

    Way to go!

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Overpriced Orchards
    Posts
    1,823
    So what you're saying is I should visit?

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Fauntleroy
    Posts
    1,572
    Quote Originally Posted by Raps View Post
    And Zach, its 24 vs. 46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......she moved to this town before i was born
    Oops, sorry for the typo .

    Quote Originally Posted by Benny Profane View Post
    Yeah, but deep down, when the lights are out and the party is over, dont'cha just really want just a little love and cuddling?

    I'll be the first to say, where are the fucking pix?
    You still sleep with your teddy, don't you?

    Heh - if you ever hear one of those cougars mutter "You've done enough pre-heating, its time to put in the roast", you know you're in good then.

    Quote credit: from Redkal regarding his own weekend encounter, granted, that was more of a traditional "cradle robbing", not a "cradle doin' the robbing" story.
    Last edited by MrZach; 01-15-2008 at 04:23 PM.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,585
    Quote Originally Posted by Raps View Post
    46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......


  25. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    San Francisco, CA
    Posts
    2,140
    Oh and i forgot to add........i just learned last night that she is also a belly dance instructor.......ZING!


    Thanks for all the comments folks, i'm pretty stoked on life right now.....oh and i am not working at surefoot in snowmass anymore.....switched gigs to a shop right down the street - Incline at the base of the Gondi if any of you are in the area stop by and say hi......and yeah squatch, come on up!


    And woodsy you are right on........these older women don't play games, they know what they want!

Similar Threads

  1. The Night Riding Experience
    By Crinkle in forum Sprocket Rockets
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 09-19-2006, 12:57 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •