TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

**timvwcom** · 01-29-2008, 02:47 AM

Originally Posted by Raps

To the kittens i just told them....."What!! No way, i just fucked her a couple times and she just keeps wantin more.....cause you know i'm pretty good." I think it went over well - they were some cute s. Africas that i will try to work my mojo on this week......

You know, I've only got MY mojo to compare... But I call "Bullshit" on this. The last thing THEY want is you describing THEM that same way in a few days/weeks, right? Always describe one chica to another in pleasant enough terms that they wouldn't mind the roles being reversed. Instead, the propa answer would be "she is a VERY very good friend"... and add a big shit ass grin to go with it!!! Point made, availablity protected, back side male douchery avoided. Just my $.000002

Originally Posted by Raps

The roommate is cool with whatever - she is all about rando hookups etc...but the problem is that on the off nights when i just want to come back home from work and chill, the cougar is over hanging with my roommate and she'll come over and kiss me and try to talk and stuff

That is what weirds me out......random drunken hookups are one thing but when she tries to kiss me goodbye every time she sees me......thats gotta stop.

I see the problem here... You've been assuming she's "your Cougar", when in fact it appears as if you are actually "her Bitch"... no offense intended of course!

But you are now "upside down" in this relationship, and it won't be easy to both a) save the relationship and b) get back to dominant position with relationship still in tact. (see current "Meet Jack..." thread

)

I of course am in a position where I can't offer advice from "personal experiences"... [/big eyes with stare] But I can tell you this; To "flip" positions you'll first need to add a "break" to the relationship... A period of days where you don't respond to any communications from said Cougar where she is confused/concerned, followed by a series of contacts where YOU are in complete control of when/where/etc. Of course with the current situation - where her good friend is YOUR roommate - it is likely very difficult at the least, and impossible at the other end... I'd even add, a top Russian gymnast from 25 years ago might not be able to pull it off? Maybe instead of always the "kiss" goodbye, try and add a "butt slap" goodbye once?

I've actually been "brain storming" on your issues here... I know, I know... stupid online friends shit, but I do think you've hit a potential "gold mine" that deserves repect and isn't a small patch of black ice in a regular relationship. (in other words; all of hetro-mankind has a stake in your succeeding here!) So here's what I've concluded; IF you want to "save" the situation, meaning stay in this apartment for the rest of the season, but maybe hit other shit... you need to understand that ROOM MATE Cougar (not fuck buddy Cougar) is NUMERO UNO!!! If you have a GREAT relationship with (don't know her name but let's use "Roomie" for now), even if current fuck buddy Cougar goes sour, you could likely ride this out?

So with that conclusion... You need to start adding a small "confiding" session with "roomie" when you can. It doesn't need to be every day, but your actions should be obvious enough that when roomie thinks of you, she can think of at least ONE thing you said/did most of the last several days that MIGHT mean you are interested in her... Find out what beer/soda/water/chips/etc she likes and buy some of it, or what ever...

Also, make absolutelydamnsure you consider the difference of spending the next month or two with a "dry dick" vs a smothering Cougar... Yea, maybe you are Don Juan and can land any chica any night? Or maybe you'd be lucky to pick up a "spare" here and there??? And also, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED to the whole titty licking hot chica situation? One way to work this, befriend roomie (save room position), but push like shit for a threesome with Cougar... If she finds 3rd -> you in heaven, if she bolts -> not the end of the world.

Anyway, that's what my drunk ass mind thinks right now, but who gives a shit!

**Core Shot** · 01-29-2008, 06:29 AM

Originally Posted by timvwcom

So with that conclusion... You need to start adding a small "confiding" session with "roomie" when you can. It doesn't need to be every day, but your actions should be obvious enough that when roomie thinks of you, she can think of at least ONE thing you said/did most of the last several days that MIGHT mean you are interested in her... Find out what beer/soda/water/chips/etc she likes and buy some of it, or what ever...

:

Brilliant!

Use roomate Cougar to let Fuck Buddy Cougar know that you are growing weary of the clingyness. A few staged conversations and fake sincerity/sensitivity could go a long way.

Raps: "I am scared that FB cougar is falling for me"
Roomie: "No, she just likes you"
Raps: "Listen, Roomie, I really like you and your friends, and I like staying here. I also enjoy the wild sex with FB Cougar, but that's all it is. Just wild passionate tantric curl your toes sex. I hope she knows that. FB Cougar is just not my type for a long term relationship."

You know they will talk.
Mission accomplished.

YourSupremeExcellency · 01-29-2008, 10:31 AM

You guys are all like a bunch of fucking teenage losers discovering sex for the first time.

**Lonnie** · 01-29-2008, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

Use roomate Cougar to let Fuck Buddy Cougar know that you are growing weary of the clingyness. A few staged conversations and fake sincerity/sensitivity could go a long way.

Raps: "I am scared that FB cougar is falling for me"
Roomie: "No, she just likes you"
Raps: "Listen, Roomie, I really like you and your friends, and I like staying here. I also enjoy the wild sex with FB Cougar, but that's all it is. Just wild passionate tantric curl your toes sex. I hope she knows that. FB Cougar is just not my type for a long term relationship."

Or, you could take the exact opposite approach.

Most cougars go after young guys because 1) of their virility (real, precived or otherwise) or 2) because of their low probability of wanting to settle down long term.

"I think I'm falling for her. I think I can see myself settling down with her for a while".

She'd run for tha hills....

Or you could just be honest with her, but who does that anymore anyway?

**Tippster** · 01-29-2008, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by YourSupremeExcellency

You guys are all like a bunch of fucking teenage losers discovering sex for the first time.

Don't worry, poopsykins - it'll be your turn soon.

**MOHSHSIHd** · 01-29-2008, 01:14 PM

I've already called dibs on Raps' room if/when he moves!

**Benny Profane** · 01-29-2008, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by bsideindy

Once you get a couple months into your next dry spell you'll be wishing you let this current Cougar situation go on a little longer.

heh, sometimes even the ex wife wearing a thong pops up into lonely dreams.

**TeleHoar** · 01-29-2008, 03:47 PM

Just curious.

We haven't heard from TJ Brk in this thread.
Odd considering his name is in the title

**Benny Profane** · 01-29-2008, 04:01 PM

Last I heard, he was having woman problems.

**Rontele** · 01-29-2008, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

Last I heard, he was having woman problems.

I hear his blow up doll won't even put out for him.

**stupendous man** · 01-29-2008, 05:23 PM

give him time. dexter just died in an avy on the K2

**LegoSkier** · 01-29-2008, 08:39 PM

Sage advice from your friends at the Palm Springs Ariel Tramway

**ill-advised strategy** · 01-29-2008, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by YourSupremeExcellency

You guys are all like a bunch of fucking teenage losers discovering sex for the first time.

500 responses and it all comes down to this ^^^

**mnflyfish** · 01-29-2008, 09:45 PM

It's been years, 12 to be exact, since I was in such a situation. The "confiding with the roomie" is a fine way to go. All women talk. It will get back to her and you can move on all clear and easy. Heck, and it's a pretty good shot you'll still have some drunkin monkey love every now and then as well.

As for these South African chicks, and old married guy would like pictures of that!

Jay

**timvwcom** · 01-29-2008, 10:05 PM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

Raps: "I am scared that FB cougar is falling for me"
Roomie: "No, she just likes you"
Raps: "Listen, Roomie, I really like you and your friends, and I like staying here. I also enjoy the wild sex with FB Cougar, but that's all it is. Just wild passionate tantric curl your toes sex. I hope she knows that. FB Cougar is just not my type for a long term relationship."

HA! This has me thinking... There is a LOT of good stuff to work with in this thread!!! Either someone has to write a script or short story... OR BETTER >>> We should do that stupid internet thing were each post has another few words (3?) or a couple sentences OF A BETTER ENDING to this saga than just "Raps gets tired of old pussy, moves on".

How would it start? Hmmm... howbouts;

"As he walked down the hallway, the sound emanating from his Cougar Den was unmistakable... So it came as no surprise when he turned the key and pushed open the door to find..."

**Hayduke** · 01-30-2008, 03:07 AM

...his socks."

**Sparky** · 01-30-2008, 05:10 AM

fuck they stank

**Core Shot** · 01-30-2008, 05:31 AM

"Raps stared sadly at the malodorous encrusted socks on the floor.
He realized that he would have to ski barefoot now that his last pair of ski socks had been used for a spooge rag."

"Who was this insatiable cougar? And why wouldn't she do his laundry?
My mom does laundry, thought Raps, and she is the same age."

**timvwcom** · 01-30-2008, 07:31 PM

"Then, the sharp re-start of the snake charmer's music forced his attention back to the center of the room. The lavish tent and camels didn't surprise him as much as..."

**Brock Landers** · 01-30-2008, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by timvwcom

HA! This has me thinking... There is a LOT of good stuff to work with in this thread!!! Either someone has to write a script or short story... OR BETTER >>> We should do that stupid internet thing were each post has another few words (3?) or a couple sentences OF A BETTER ENDING to this saga than just "Raps gets tired of old pussy, moves on".

How would it start? Hmmm... howbouts;

"As he walked down the hallway, the sound emanating from his Cougar Den was unmistakable... So it came as no surprise when he turned the key and pushed open the door to find..."

Or try going out and find our own women and stop virtually jerking each other off to the thought of Raps?

Still, good work Raps.

**Viva** · 01-30-2008, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by timvwcom

"Then, the sharp re-start of the snake charmer's music forced his attention back to the center of the room. The lavish tent and camels didn't surprise him as much as..."

"the sight of Jer going down on one of the camels, which reminded Raps of..."

**timvwcom** · 01-30-2008, 08:33 PM

Hey...

Just trying to have some fun dude!

**timvwcom** · 02-03-2008, 10:20 AM

A "WTF" Super Bowl Sunday bump!!!

**Huckwheat** · 02-03-2008, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by timvwcom

A "WTF" Super Bowl Sunday bump!!!

I admit this thread "started" as good comedy, and I do check in every so often....BUT....

Tim, you are a bit too excited. You bump asking for updates way too much. Either the cougar bait posts or he doesnt, but you asking for isnt really changing anything.