TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

**flatNshallow** · 01-28-2008, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by MOHSHSIHd

The funniest thing is the framed picture of an actual cougar on the wall in the bathroom!

Very well played by the cougar!

Pics?

**Benny Profane** · 01-28-2008, 12:50 PM

Originally Posted by Raps

Yeah well tonight i was talkin with some kittens and one asked me....."hey are you dating that older woman?" and i had to defend myself......i guess it is not exactly a turn on in their eyes.....

Hey, dude, who cares what the little girls think. The cougar is putting them to shame. If they want to show you something, then, well, let them whip it out. Otherwise, leave them to their cells and Cosmos and gossip. You're with a woman.

**Tippster** · 01-28-2008, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by philippeR

Well, he'll be gone. Technicaly it's her house, isn't ..?

No, she's the friend of Raps' roomate.

**flowtron** · 01-28-2008, 02:16 PM

Originally Posted by edg

What kind of fucked up situation do you have to be in to think 'Hmmm, you know what might be nice? If you suck my balls while I shit on your chest.'

edg

You've never been to Pueblo

**BmillsSkier** · 01-28-2008, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by Raps

oh and i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......

**Nobody Famous** · 01-28-2008, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

Hey, dude, who cares what the little girls think. The cougar is putting them to shame. If they want to show you something, then, well, let them whip it out. Otherwise, leave them to their cells and Cosmos and gossip. You're with a woman.

Good advice here.

**Core Shot** · 01-28-2008, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by Lonnie

Proper response, "No, I'm just fucking her..."

exactly my thoughts.

Raps, play this like a professional stud.

Be matter of fact, firm and to the point.
1) you are a fuck machine
2) the cougar is only a fuck buddy. cut her off politely, but firmly. she is not expecting to marry you (this is not like the same age crushes you have previously dealt with - she knows what time it is - or rather, how old she is).
3) you fuck who you want, when you want, how you want. Be strong and independent and the rest of the chicks in that house will want your action.
Be weak and sensitive, and the cougar will cling to you and crush all hope of kittens and cougar orgies.

When the kitten said you were "dating" the cougar, that was your signal you screwed up. You are not dating her. You are not an item. FWB at best, but really she's just a hole to fill.

'The [cougar] and me?"
"Oh, we just fuck every now and then. No big deal. I just got too much mojo to not let it flow"

Seriously, man. You have a few days at most to REGAIN CONTROL OF THE COUGAR DEN.

If you let this cougar get all emotional, you are doomed with all the other kittens and cougars. Make it clear that you both knew it was just about fucking. period. . . . Next customer please.

**pechelman** · 01-28-2008, 04:19 PM

this thread is like a "how-to" when one moves into the cougar den
amazing

**SuperChief** · 01-28-2008, 04:24 PM

I'll never eat a ham and cheese on pita. damn thats gross! Sure glad there wasn't chunks of feta in it.

"Just thinking about you, Big hug"...... is a sweet thing all girls do, that isn't scary it's normal, you better hook up with a kitten soon or you're doomed to the ham and cheese pita and a whole lotta drama.

**jibij** · 01-28-2008, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

she is not expecting to marry you (this is not like the same age crushes you have previously dealt with - she knows what time it is - or rather, how old she is).

Cougars can be as delusional as kittens are naive.

**jepilot** · 01-28-2008, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by pechelman

this thread is like a "how-to" when one moves into the cougar den
amazing

You should add the technical flava we're used to from you. Like "what is the best angle of insertion?"

**pappag** · 01-28-2008, 04:32 PM

Raps, only way out is to fuck her friends ... and videotape it ... and plan it when the cougar is expected to drop by for a visit.

**MOHSHSIHd** · 01-28-2008, 04:41 PM

Originally Posted by Raps

Well, Phish can chime in but good times were had this weekend....nothing too crazy though i am afraid......

The Powder awards were a hell of a time though - E, you rock man - great work.

It was great rubbin elbows with the pros - Ingrid and Kip, if you are readin this (i know you guys lurk), it was great talkin with you guys......

The craziest part though was running into Atrain who won an award (congrats man and nice meetin ya) and we all came back to the cougar den for after hours - I'm not too sure what happened after that but i do know that i woke up next to the cougar again.....sorry Phish that there were no other cougars late night in the den for ya but those South African chicks were digging you guys and were over here tonight pissed that you didn't stay.....so you are more than welcome to come up here for round 2.....

Sorry guys i know thats not too crazy a story, but the truth is, this damn cougar is scaring me and i think i may slowly stop this train......shes freakin old and its kinda freakin me out.....oh and i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......oh well

Phish, what are your thoughts after your time in the den?

The den is fucking sweet man. Kinda funny I didn't ski or see any x-games stuff, but it was fucking fun. The whole experience shooting the awards was fucking awesome! Thanks again E!

Tell your roommate that Chris will make a big meal (he is an awesome chef) next time we come down. Enough for all of us and whatever random ladies she rounds up. Hopefully it snows too.

**eddiecut** · 01-28-2008, 05:22 PM

if your over it, i think you need to post pics finally!

**Lonnie** · 01-28-2008, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by Core Shot

'The [cougar] and me?"
"Oh, we just fuck every now and then. No big deal. I just got too much mojo to not let it flow"

Solid work.

**Raps** · 01-28-2008, 06:13 PM

Again, some great advice from the maggot collective.....

To the kittens i just told them....."What!! No way, i just fucked her a couple times and she just keeps wantin more.....cause you know i'm pretty good." I think it went over well - they were some cute s. Africas that i will try to work my mojo on this week......

The roommate is cool with whatever - she is all about rando hookups etc...but the problem is that on the off nights when i just want to come back home from work and chill, the cougar is over hanging with my roommate and she'll come over and kiss me and try to talk and stuff

That is what weirds me out......random drunken hookups are one thing but when she tries to kiss me goodbye every time she sees me......thats gotta stop.

I think i just need to go out before she comes over, or when shes over, head out with my younger friends - always be busy and stuff......

Oh and Rontele, good advice but i'm afraid i would mention it and she would be like hell yeah lets do it......

**powder11** · 01-28-2008, 06:14 PM

if you want her gone ask her if she minds fucking a couple of your internet buddies that have never tasted cougar tang before. unless she's a raging whore (bonus: phishow gets laid), she will be thoroughly insulted and beat feet.

**pappag** · 01-28-2008, 06:43 PM

If you really want to know how to end or minimize the situation, then you should talk to the roommate.

**BmillsSkier** · 01-28-2008, 07:22 PM

or you could just show her this thread???

**grskier** · 01-28-2008, 08:55 PM

20 Pages of pure Aspen.... I love it!

**LivinTheDream** · 01-28-2008, 09:29 PM

This whole thread is fuckin hilarious! And the ham and cheese pita has gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Definitely hall of fame.

**Lonnie** · 01-28-2008, 10:30 PM

FNKA mang,

1) You basically want it to be over,
2) We want naked pics.

2 + 2 = Problem solved.

You know what you have to do....

**glenplake** · 01-28-2008, 11:14 PM

So this is basically like a milf version of the OC, but in Aspen?

**Skipig25** · 01-28-2008, 11:47 PM

yep. as well as a manual for cougar den infiltration and penetration.

should I ever be in a similar situation (god please!) I will now have something to reference.