Art you might be ending the story there, but I guarn-goddamn-tee that the story is not over.

Valid point. I'll shut up now.

My wife has a constant inability to put our tools back where she got them from. Somehow I'm the asshole for suggesting that she may have lost one when it takes me a month to figure out where the hell...

Fortunately she is plenty savvy to then jump the car using cables but the lack of diagnostics on my damn jumper pack is killing me.

My wife just borrowed my car battery jumper pack to go jump a friend's car and came back and said "it didn't work".

Now I'm the asshole for asking her a few questions to try to figure out what...

These are a locally made matching set that were wedding gifts. I guess I should be thankful I wasn't the one to knock the handles off of 2 of them.

Despite having multiple travel mugs suitable for bringing coffee to work in my wife uses our nice ceramic mugs. One falls out of her bag and breaks every year or two.

My parents are well off retirees who continue to freeze every loaf of bread they buy. Any time I come visit I feel like I need to bring my own unfrozen sourdough if I'm going to make a sandwich.
...

I hoped two broken skis that are different models would be enough to slow him down.

Switch to the road it is then!

Baby bear I think the only answer is a ski off. But he's gotta use the broken skis.

Damnit guys! Let me bask in my self loathing for not having better friends.

My wife got a free day of heli skiing while I went to work. Then spent the entire evening talking about how awesome it was.

Last year I got royally bitched for talking about my touring day for 30...

Fortunately no. But as I got into the car to drive home afterwards it did cross my mind that it was a better experience than Iceman's.

It must not be that urgent otherwise she'd be burning them?

I just had to go finish off a deer that my wife smoked with my truck. Shit happens and we live in deer country so it easily could have...

Props for following the AFS style guidelines.

You'd probably have to fight the chickens or Ugly for space. And the drugs.

I'm sure they do but after a bad case of analysis paralysis I figured that it was better to have one that didn't work perfectly than to continue to delay until I found one that did it all.

Damn man. Last month I bought a Wifi based freezer alarm that will text me alerts if the temp climbs. The only bummer I've found is that it has to be so close to the freezer that it's basically...

Has she spoken to you since?

May I suggest the Haribo Sugar Free Gummies? Guaranteed to make any ski day more exciting.
https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC

Hopefully not bot flies.

Mostly it's been pretty good with occasional instances of REALLY bad.

We got a puppy 3 weeks before my wife flew up to Bristol Bay for 6 weeks of gillnetting. I love the dog and am super happy we have her but the timing on that was suspect at best.