I'm intrigued, but you're going to have to elaborate.

When the force required to separate two orange slices is greater than the force required to eject orange juice at high speed into your eye.

That is some shit that annoys me.

People who call my office phone repeatedly without leaving a message. Hey numbnuts maybe if you tell me who you are and what you want I'll get back to you.

It is.

I too suffer this indignity. Why am I the idiot when I can't find something that YOU moved?

On a related note, where the fuck is my pocket knife?

One tends to become the other over time. At least it's not kashmir.

Beyond fucked up.

The part that seemed the slimiest to me was that there was no mention of any of this during my stay. I was in bad shape but not so bad as to not be able to go somewhere that my...

I was hospitalized a few years ago for food poisoning. Turns out that even though the hospital was in-network, my ER Doc was not because he's an independent contractor and doesn't actually work for...

You could test them out in-store like Steve-O.

I'll add large, loud, vertical smoke stacks on big pickups. Nothing says "I'm a dick" like one of those things spewing black smoke from a brand new truck.

My fucking thermostat annoys me. I can fly a plane and I can't figure this fucking thing out. Seems to turn on and off whenever it wants to and changes the set temp all on its own. Hasn't been a...

Seriously. Fuck Clemson and their traditional mass littering at their home games. Attempts to educate have fallen on deaf ears.

Faxed advertisements. We pay for that paper asshole.

Dude, it's disc golf. Or so I've been told.

Word. Also, they can be fun to remove.

Idk man I kinda dig that look.

Funny you say that... the offender is most definitely a crossfitter*.

*not sure if that's actually a word

People with giant, suitcase sized lunch boxes. WTF are you bring for lunch a 20lb turkey?!

Natural News and the fact that people take it seriously.

It's cold outside RIGHT NOW, must mean climate change is a hoax!

Morans.

People who don't think before they act and can't fucking put two and two together. We're working with potentially dangerous animals here, can we please exercise some critical thinking skills?!

This downright pisses me off and I see it all the time. One of the reasons I don't think a lot of this "charity" work that churches do is actually charity. These people need clean water and...

Hory sheet that is appalling. Are there 200 people sharing that thing?

Shortened yellows and red light cameras. It's illegal and dangerous but the city gets away with it. A few lawsuits have been filed, I hope they win.

I think he's referring to the dummies who drink Fiji water but still get their ice from the ice maker, which uses tap water.

In the same vein, people who pull up to an apt building and honk repeatedly to get the attention of the person they're picking up. Use your phone or walk up you dumb cunt.

Hey to be fair that price includes a hummer from the toll booth attendant. Not sure how that's supposed to improve traffic flows, but I'n not an engineer.

That must be a very different fish than what some call a ling around here (also known as cobia), because those fuckers are like fighting a train and taste like heaven.

When did people start turning on their emergency flashers in heavy rain? Great, now it's raining really hard and I get to deal with the glare from your e-lights. Idiots.

Yeah, what the fuck is that about? For some reason I feel weird about pissing on gum, plus someone has to clean that shit. Gross.

Meh, that's what computers are for.

Having two phones. Is it really reasonable for you to provide me with a smartphone with unlimited everything and expect me to pay for my own personal phone and then lug two phones around? "Business...

How is there not a TV show about you yet?

Socially retarded trustafarian bro-brah transplants.