How about a boobhead hat?
It could easily be sized up to fit your big noggins.
http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/creative-knit-hat-291__605.jpg

I looked for an asshat and no knitting/knitted ones.

I might make something for an award if I can think of something good.

I'm just learning to knit. I can do color work, but
It takes a really long time to make something, though so the only way I will be knitting anything for anyone is if I really, really like you or...

It's not seahawks colors, so it's possible. I'm so done with seahawks hats.

I'm kind of obsessed by mittens now, though.

Maybe if I use real fat yarn so it goes fast.

That garbage disposal looks fancier than mine.

Unfortunately I am unlikely to move from the ham anytime soon, so Harry will have to find someone else to fix his garbage disposal..

And now we know why Harry has been divorced twice.. or was it three times?

Insecure women attract insecure men. I know this from personal experience. It's a fucked up co-dependence thing. I'm betting booner would like his wife even less if she had a healthy self esteem,...

Was she dumb and insecure when you married her?