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Type: Posts; User: exsparky

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  1. Replies
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    He was pretty happy, then he ran out. Then his...

    He was pretty happy, then he ran out. Then his lady bear friend left with boo boo for some picnic baskets. He lost his job at the park and he went on a rampage.

    The story is as old as time.
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    Ray Liotta's GREATEST FILM ever

    Hey jong, put this in movies.

    No, watch the trailer, I think it goes here better.


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuWEEKeJLMI

    I see awards, sequels, potential greatest movie ever.
    ...
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    How did everybody miss the zombie bars in the...

    How did everybody miss the zombie bars in the tanning lotion house?

    436222


    Also missing smoke detectors.
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    How is it they do a massive remodel of a dump...

    How is it they do a massive remodel of a dump house like that and the smokes are hanging from the ceiling or missing?

    They put at least $500k in that thing over the last few years and tons of...
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    Make nice dirt bike trails?

    Make nice dirt bike trails?
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    434893 This building had kids doing doughnuts...

    434893

    This building had kids doing doughnuts all summer and winter.
    Solution, red concrete parking stops randomly though the parking lot. I went through there on my cell phone and almost hit...
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    I started doing Muay Thai when I turned 42. ...

    I started doing Muay Thai when I turned 42.
    I get hurt about twice a year with average injury recovery times of 1-2 months.
    Currently my ribs are broken for the second time.
    Usually I have...
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    Wait a minute... are you saying Mike Lindell "my...

    Wait a minute... are you saying Mike Lindell "my pillowed" her too?

    It all makes so much sense now.
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    There is a lot of half ass heat trace in the...

    There is a lot of half ass heat trace in the gutters for a reason. One you don't want to find out about when it doesn't work.

    I would think about pulling 70% of the roof and redoing it.
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    I changed it to- "I have to take a #2.) That...

    I changed it to-
    "I have to take a #2.)

    That should do it.
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    I need password ideas, what did you use for a...

    I need password ideas, what did you use for a password?

    I'm thinking lifelock or something is in order.
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    There is a Clow, I never thought they were real. ...

    There is a Clow, I never thought they were real. They have bad reviews.
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    I think I want to get better contact info, then...

    I think I want to get better contact info, then donate to political campaigns in their name. Both sides.
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    Really you Russians bastards? True story#3

    My paypal was hacked. They changed my info to some Larry's watch and clock repair of Oregon and sent out 3 charges for less than $20 each for Roof repair.

    425779

    425780


    I'm not sure why...
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    425379 It seems the last owner was a boater.

    425379

    It seems the last owner was a boater.
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    My uncle got a rare form of Parkinson's in his...

    My uncle got a rare form of Parkinson's in his legs with symptoms like that. No pain, just leg numbness.

    It took the doc's 2 years to figure that out. That was 5 years ago. He hasn't been able...
  17. Thread: GUNS!!!!!!!!

    by exsparky
    Replies
    10,493
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    1,093,868

    For a first one, its a real nice one.

    For a first one, its a real nice one.
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    In the spirit of dead search engines, askjeeves...

    In the spirit of dead search engines, askjeeves is now ask.

    We are still page 2 there for Nazi midgets but it goes to page 4 because that page says nazi midgets the most.
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    If this movie got made in the early 80's, it...

    If this movie got made in the early 80's, it would have made a a lot of cash.

    Its 106 miles to Pueblo, weve got a full tank of gas, half pack of cigarettes, 3 nazi midgets, a freaked out pizza...
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    Poll: So we should make them an organ donor at 20...

    So we should make them an organ donor at 20 years?

    Turn the negative cash flow into a positive.




    Not really serious.
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    It made page 2 of "NAZI MIDGET" How do I get it...

    It made page 2 of "NAZI MIDGET"
    How do I get it to page 1?
    422678
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    I'm telling you my new "Dating App" for Nazi...

    I'm telling you my new "Dating App" for Nazi midgets will work. We already beta tested it in Pueblo.

    This thing is going to be HUGE, in a tiny way. Get in now!
  23. Thread: GUNS!!!!!!!!

    by exsparky
    Replies
    10,493
    Views
    1,093,868

    Yes What are you using it for, everything,...

    Yes

    What are you using it for, everything, skeet, trap, upland, waterfowl? Is that your budget?

    It will work fine for whatever.

    Its better than a semi stoeger, (and my 1948 A5) but not as...
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    How about a whole bunch of viagra then? 420161

    How about a whole bunch of viagra then?
    420161
  25. I never did that inventory. I was planning on...

    I never did that inventory. I was planning on doing 2 (a real one and a light one) but if I submitted the real one to the insurance guy... I don't think I could claim I lost stuff in a boating...
  26. You are so lucky, I would give up 60% of my stuff...

    You are so lucky, I would give up 60% of my stuff for a break that clean. I think mine's going to cost even more and be a god awful mess of verbal abuse for years.

    Oh wait, I've already been...
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    If you are dumb enough to hire bad people why not...

    If you are dumb enough to hire bad people why not hire more?

    Fight fire with fire.

    Twenty 1% bikers will show up for very little money and they often get better results than lawyers.
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    Pussies. People aren't going to walk over a dead...

    Pussies. People aren't going to walk over a dead body to steal plants.

    Rent a bunch of fake corpses.

    Where? Well the dapper cadaver of course.
    ...
  29. Thread: GUNS!!!!!!!!

    by exsparky
    Replies
    10,493
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    1,093,868

    Have you tried shooting it off yet?

    Have you tried shooting it off yet?
  30. Replies
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    You are correct. The CIA sponsored modern art. ...

    You are correct.
    The CIA sponsored modern art.
    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-was-cia-weapon-1578808.html
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    It took a degree in art history for you to figure...

    It took a degree in art history for you to figure that out? I'm still not seeing the value in one.

    I'm guessing there are more than thousands of wannabee whatever's.
    I'm guessing there are more...
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    What did art history do for that? Jimi Hendrix...

    What did art history do for that?

    Jimi Hendrix never took music history.
  33. Replies
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    I said art history, not artist. For a big word...

    I said art history, not artist. For a big word guy, you don't read that well. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings princess.

    I have employed too many art history majors to do manual labor. Its...
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    I was asked to give a guest lecture this fall at...

    I was asked to give a guest lecture this fall at an East Coast University.

    I really want to ask the art history majors to raise their hands. Then ask them if they have student debt to punch...
  35. There are at least 8 kinds of pills there. I...

    There are at least 8 kinds of pills there.

    I think its mostly anti anxiety crap but I'm sure there are 2-5 bottles of some nasty painkillers in it.

    She took it away from my sister who's a...
  36. Who wants to go to Disneyland... without leaving...

    Who wants to go to Disneyland... without leaving your house?

    I found this in my Mom's car.
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    You can have sex on the motorcycles, while other...

    You can have sex on the motorcycles, while other people watch from the couches. Then the viewers can have sex on the fur rug things next, while the primary fuckers watch from the bikes.

    That's...
  38. How pissed will your wife be when she finds out...

    How pissed will your wife be when she finds out about it?
  39. Replies
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    With some pink and blue neon, it would make a...

    With some pink and blue neon, it would make a killer set for a 1980's Miami Vice episode.
  40. Thread: GUNS!!!!!!!!

    by exsparky
    Replies
    10,493
    Views
    1,093,868

    You could live without a can for a 45. 12g cans...

    You could live without a can for a 45.
    12g cans are worthless.

    If you have limited means get one really nice 223 suppressor and use it on 22 and 223.

    You need one for a 22, 223, 9 and 7.62....
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    I looked at a house that has two unconnected 2nd...

    I looked at a house that has two unconnected 2nd floors.

    That arch should be beaten too.
  42. It was my bookkeeper. She doesn't know, I know....

    It was my bookkeeper. She doesn't know, I know.

    I'm going to pretend to get revenge on a really nice vender we have, to get her to admit to it.

    My neighbor has chickens I'm going to try and...
  43. I got calls and texts from people in 8 states so...

    I got calls and texts from people in 8 states so far.

    It seems mini llamas are popular but hard to get in Tennessee for some reason. They have been the most frequent location.
  44. How "used" are they?

    How "used" are they?
  45. April Fools, again. And fake baby mini Llamas.

    I woke up to text messages at 6am. Lots of them.

    It seems I have baby mini Llama's for sale really cheap and that I asked people to text me for information.

    People are willing to travel to...
  46. Thread: Firing People

    by exsparky
    Replies
    98
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    5,439

    The VA is run by government workers. How many...

    The VA is run by government workers.

    How many government workers are good at their jobs? The ones I spoke to weren't the best.

    They wanted to give him pills when I wanted him to get a dog. ...
  47. Marriage is a really great thing and if I had to...

    Marriage is a really great thing and if I had to go back in time and do it all over again I would.

    I would get married again.

    I would do it with another woman but I would get married.
    ...
  48. Thread: Firing People

    by exsparky
    Replies
    98
    Views
    5,439

    I bought him a therapy dog, he gets Friday...

    I bought him a therapy dog, he gets Friday afternoons off to go to the VA. I took the company stickers off his truck incase he screams at people on the road. At some point I'm enabling him, I just...
  49. Thread: Firing People

    by exsparky
    Replies
    98
    Views
    5,439

    I have a door gunner from the Afghanistan war...

    I have a door gunner from the Afghanistan war with bad PTSD.
    I really like him but I have to fire him. I don't think he will try to kill anybody but I'm in the minority in our office.
    He told...
  50. Thread: Firing People

    by exsparky
    Replies
    98
    Views
    5,439

    I've only killed 6 people so far and 2 were an...

    I've only killed 6 people so far and 2 were an accident.
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