Doug, I cannot imagine the pain you are going through right now. But snoboy speaks the truth. This place has helped (and continues to helpl) me get through the toughest times in my life. Remember...

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~zhuxj/astro/images/atmosphere/misc/snowflakes/snowflake030107a.jpg

Stay strong and my thoughts are with you and your family & friends.