Depending on where it's located, that ranges from mildly inconvenient to utter PITA home destruction.

I've seen some newer construction where they put the water heater in the attic...

My Honda ASS only works if the battery is fully charged. It's still annoying if in stop and go traffic or going through a bunch of stop signs - but that's why there's an on/off switch right there...

Yep. It was truly amazing.

I was once sitting at a sidewalk table at a restaurant, and across the street was a hipster on a fixie bike, riding no hands, and using those hands to text on his phone. Not looking up at all.

A...

She gave them to her boyfriend.

If I had a mint Oldsmobile Bravada I'd park right next to one also.

Have you considered getting back together with your ex?

Full circle and all that...

Cheap GA is and was the best for Cruel World - those VIP areas were farther from the stages, and I heard lots of griping about the supposed perks.

You going this year?

Excellent! Maybe time for an oil change and then keep on cranking!

Let us know how it turns out.

Harbor Freight motor time!

You bring scissors to hotels to cut off the tags?

Even with a C54 boarding pass, you could ask to preboard with the little kids. That would have allowed you to board much earlier. Just FYI for future flights on Southwest.

Mrs C's Xterra gas cap had a tether... what happened to yours?

True winter tires do have the 3PMSF mark also. Perhaps the clearer way is to say that not every tire with a 3PMSF mark is a true winter tire...

"AI piss is sterile and delicious."

Is it from the maggot who always posts about drinking piss?

Dog shit smeared on the windshield, and a thin line of crazy glue along each wiper blade.

Fuck Elon Musk then.

Idiot in a Tesla in front of me while driving home, up a mountain highway - comes up behind very slow construction truck, moves to left lane. I have a full pallet of stove pellets (1 ton) in the...

If necessary, my next phone call to them will be to request the name and address for their agent for service of process.

I canceled AT&T DSL service on Aug 11, spending 36 minutes on the phone with them to to that. AT&T just sent me a bill for service for Aug 13- Sept 12. Called them again, spent another 18 min on the...

Is this an autocorrect "duck"?

Last winter, I pulled the dryer out away from the wall and disconnected the exhaust hose to clean in there -- it hadn't been removed and cleaned since I installed it, about 8 years earlier. The lint...

I have an LG dryer too - I only seem to get unfinished drying when using the sensor (humidity sensor?) and things like a big load of towels.

Is the exhaust duct clear?

Don't hike with Moby.

A friend's wife unplugged the chest freezer in their garage to plug something else in, then forgot to plug the freezer back in afterward. Nobody noticed for a week, in summer, when the smell became...

I may have the same set - and maybe 25 years ago, when I got a rollaway toolbox, I cut the lid half off, leaving the lower half that holds the sockets. It's in a toolbox drawer as a socket holder now.

What do you mean, "you people?"

I saw a listing for some Thule upright kayak racks, that were listed as being bike front wheel holders. Messaged the seller and told them what they really had, with a link showing they were worth a...

Jimmy P knows.

Were you driving a Honda Pilot?

I live my life a quarter acre at a time.

You can do that via chat online now. Easier to get them to drop down to a cheap monthly rate, like $5-6/mo.

And fleshy.

Booner Vista?

Somebody sniped a mint 1995 XE Assfinder with transformer wheels out from under you for $3K?

It's more like a tuber.

Fact.

"Yes, I would like to purchase the loss damage waiver for this rental."

Inexplicable USPS routing, for a stove part ordered from a place located in Idaho Falls, ID, to be delivered to me in Reno, NV:

Moving Through Network
In Transit, Arriving Late
December 13, 2022...

Why couldn't you get a check, and mail it to the LLC bank to deposit it?

I hang a ziploc bag with several moth balls in the engine compartment with a zip tie, poke a couple holes in the bag to let the smell out. Seems to help keep the mice out of the engine compartment....

When I used to have to travel for work all the time, I got this small Belkin surge protector/ power strip/ USB port and brought it with. Even if there's only one outlet and it's already in use, you...

Much benadryl later, and it's not bad this morning. A little swelling, pain mostly gone. Feels oddly "thick" over the bite area, kind of how your face feels after a dentist numbs you, but without...

Getting stung in the temple by a yellowjacket or some other wasp asshole, while on a bike ride.

Feels like I got shot in the head with a nail gun.

Two benadryl immediately, then three...

No matter how much surveillance you disable, there's always more that you're unaware of.

Have you tried putting a clothes hanger on the door handle?

I just signed up for a free program offered by my local sheriff's department, where they supply a VIN stencil to be applied to the cat. You can DIY or bring to a shop participating in the program...

Time for Danno to swap out his vehicle for a lowrider on hydraulics. If he's scraping frame, nobody's stealing his cat.

I bribed a pizza delivery guy for a ride to the airport in New Orleans once. It was during Mardi Gras and the taxi we had called for was a no show (pre - Uber). I remember he had to make a delivery...