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  1. I can totally help you with this. I was stranded...

    I can totally help you with this. I was stranded in Hatch, NM with this issue coming back from the mexican border in AZ after I found out my GF was cheeting. Do you want it to run, or function as...
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    I heard a great one today, and it was even better...

    I heard a great one today, and it was even better coming from a 45 year old to a 62 year old:

    "I only have 2 last words for you, 'FEAR ME'." He couldn't hear so well, so it was repeated at volume....
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    2,072

    Fuck you you jack off fucking JONG.

    Fuck you you jack off fucking JONG.
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    3,222

    Fuck you you fucking JONG.

    Fuck you you fucking JONG.
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    2,814

    Fuck you fuckers.

    Fuck you fuckers.
  6. I had 2 chicks in the bag tonight, but I didn't...

    I had 2 chicks in the bag tonight, but I didn't even want to pull out the right tools for the job.
  7. If you got the cash, do whatever the fuck you...

    If you got the cash, do whatever the fuck you want. No need to ask us. Give the kid a hall pass and drink mojitos, get laid and make another one.
  8. You only get one brain. If the point was to ride...

    You only get one brain. If the point was to ride with your kid, then bump the trip.
  9. What color did she paint your penis?

    What color did she paint your penis?
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    Yep.

    Yep.
  11. Replies
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    106,479

    They approved me for $20k. I took half. This...

    They approved me for $20k. I took half.

    This isn't PPP.
  12. POTD

    POTD
  13. Replies
    618
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    106,479

    My EIDL was approved out of nowhere.

    My EIDL was approved out of nowhere.
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    1,072

    http://www.twitch.tv/desertheartsrecords

    http://www.twitch.tv/desertheartsrecords
  15. There are a couple things that never leave my...

    There are a couple things that never leave my car. A panning setup is one of them.
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    4,999

    Do a bunch of schrooms and skip dinner....

    Do a bunch of schrooms and skip dinner. Hypothetically.
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    dog blowjob?

    dog blowjob?
  18. Replies
    1,523
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    206,828

    Every day. Should I wear a pin with my antiviral...

    Every day. Should I wear a pin with my antiviral test results and confidence intervals?
  19. Thread: Owwie

    by MakersTeleMark
    Replies
    43
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    5,351

    Randy will cut shit with no qualms. He's very...

    Randy will cut shit with no qualms. He's very aggressive, but very good. I had a client with full body compartment syndrome and he dissected her body to relieve the fascia like a butcher. Her entire...
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    I just could not live in the worlds that you...

    I just could not live in the worlds that you impose on yourselves.
    No judgements, just fuck that.
  21. I have a 34 year old xgk and a windpro. One is...

    I have a 34 year old xgk and a windpro. One is 40s year newer tech.
  22. Yes, in fact.

    Yes, in fact.
  23. Pm telemike.

    Pm telemike.
  24. Replies
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    1,364,238

    My x-ray tech had it in the middle of March. All...

    My x-ray tech had it in the middle of March. All she had was sniffles. That's it.
    The only reason she knew was she had to get tested to go to work.
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    Ha. I wouldn't doubt it.

    Ha. I wouldn't doubt it.
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    76,810

    You must take an unload test to qualify.

    You must take an unload test to qualify.
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    3,750
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    I see that interracial marriage is not even a...

    I see that interracial marriage is not even a thing to bat an eye at anymore. Progress people!
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    I actually paid for mushroom compost yesterday. I...

    I actually paid for mushroom compost yesterday. I felt wrong.
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    Spandex?

    Spandex?
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    112
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    13,168

    https://www.reddit.com/r/sporetraders/

    https://www.reddit.com/r/sporetraders/
  31. I've known Danno for 20 years and he is the...

    I've known Danno for 20 years and he is the master og kike nigga Bronx Boi.
  32. Replies
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    Divorce?

    Divorce?
  33. Replies
    3,750
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    243,436

    3 lbs . of German potato salad. ...

    3 lbs . of German potato salad.

    https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200522/ea4c6b38dfaca5ec7a141949e94b14a0.jpg
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    No floor models at homodepot? Did you check with...

    No floor models at homodepot? Did you check with Alpine Appliance?
  35. I wrote a pretty detailed writeup in the main...

    I wrote a pretty detailed writeup in the main thread. Search for my username.

    The test was a regular blood draw. Got pricked on Tuesday at 4, results came back at 8 am today. I was impressed.
  36. UNPOSSIBLE, right? The peak of my feel like...

    UNPOSSIBLE, right?

    The peak of my feel like death symptoms was February 26th.
  37. From my test on Tuesday: Your SARS-CoV-2...

    From my test on Tuesday:

    Your SARS-CoV-2 (Coronavirus) antibody test returned POSITIVE -- suggesting that you have been exposed to the virus and your body made antibodies (99.6% specificity).
  38. Replies
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    People say fuck Amazon, but I don't buy paper...

    People say fuck Amazon, but I don't buy paper towels.

    https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200521/95824ee9f35d0e87d1fa7fb0ff1c765e.jpg
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    Baby back rack heading into the stove top smoker....

    Baby back rack heading into the stove top smoker. Finished in the oven. Fantastic.
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    You are a fucking cunt.

    You are a fucking cunt.
  41. Thanks for the reminder to pull the bandaid off...

    Thanks for the reminder to pull the bandaid off of my Antivirus prick.
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    And you better damn swallow it.

    And you better damn swallow it.
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    98765 ...

    98765
    https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200520/6e6397de76b5f62c88bc10eb9b158b4f.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200520/dbe41c6edcbdee4e8a650443cde7013d.jpg
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    When I took my test in the 80s you had to do 2...

    When I took my test in the 80s you had to do 2 full lock lefts to a figure 8 into 2 locked rights.


    In traffic.
    It took me 3 tries because cars kept coming.
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    I've been riding for 30. Same same. Shit...

    I've been riding for 30. Same same. Shit happens.
  46. Facepalm.

    Facepalm.
  47. Replies
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    We'll see if I have a shoulder left. I can say...

    We'll see if I have a shoulder left.
    I can say that ride home takes the cake for pain tolerance.
  48. Rookie.

    Rookie.
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    https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/02/...

    https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/02/10/803394030/michael-pollan-explains-caffeine-cravings-and-why-you-dont-have-to-quit
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    3,750
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    Made a big jar of hummus. Anasazi beans and...

    Made a big jar of hummus. Anasazi beans and homemade tahini with garlic, lime, and cilantro.

    https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200519/c73a850e6921a4ce032d96ee14d4e5f8.jpg
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