Swoop is an airline in Canada that is very, very inexpensive. Like, sometimes you get a plane ticket for $99 kind of inexpensive. Checked bags and carry-on will cost you $89, and pretty much everything else you'd ever want or need on a plane will cost extra. But you pay for what you use, so it's cool. I like to fly between the smaller airports that they operate from (to keep costs down). Total price all-in for me and wife + kids was $1500 from Hamilton>Abbotsford>Hamilton. Usually this costs $2k+ so yes it's a good deal.
Aaaaanyway - hopping on board the plane with the wife and kids on Sunday evening in Abbotsford. Flight already is late and I watched this thing land, people get off, and boarding for our flight immediately starts with basically zero turn-around time on the plane. This is perfect since we are currently scheduled to get to Hamilton at 1:40am.
Wife and kids are 2nd last row, and I've got a seat in the aisle right behind them. Back of the plane is open for boarding so we wait and are essentially the last ones on the thing. I get in, kids and wife sit down in their empty row, and my seat has some guy in it with his wife in the middle seat. Whatever, "skootch over please" so I can sit down and we can GTFO. They tell me they need to speak with someone because there's garbage on the floor. Fine, whatever, I cram in with my family so they can take care of this issue. Must be pretty gross down there.
They tell the FA that there is garbage on the floor, she looks, and says 'sorry about that, they quickly vacuumed the plane and this is what we're left with.' They then say there are quite a lot of crumbs and chips and this is not acceptable. This triggers me. "CRUMBS AND CHIPS??!! Listen, you need to move over and sit down so I can do the same and we can get the hell out of here." Now they're mad at me, they say I'm being a dick (probably true) and they expected better service for the money they spent on the ticket. They're upset because they have to "put their stuff in this mess." I look and see about 5 goldfish crackers and some smushed up pringles - that's it. Grab a napkin from my bag, reach across this dude and sweep the crumbs away with my face in random guy's crotch. "There."
Like WTF man, you're in the very last row of a plane, flying with literally the cheapest airline in Canada and you want them to meticulously clean everything for you on a plane that travels 12,000km a day? It's basically a bus in the sky.
I enjoyed having people's asses in my face for the majority of the ride while they waited for the shitter, people leaving the lavatory door open when they were finished (smells great, thanks!), and a few maskless kids breathing their stank on me while they waited to piss/shit/whatever. But this is part of air travel, and you get what you pay for. 10/10 would fly again.
