Supermarket "deals". Reg price $6, on sale for $2. But you have to buy 4 to get the lower price.
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Supermarket "deals". Reg price $6, on sale for $2. But you have to buy 4 to get the lower price.
I was visiting my brother a couple of weeks ago and he is now single since his wife passed last year. I'm taking a shower when i see red water in the shower. A lot of it. All I could think of was the movie Carrie, but I ain't got no vagina. I'm checking my pecker and nothing and then I'm thinking something ruptured it my ass. To say I was scared is an understatement. I was almost panicking and thinking I should yell for help. Then I realized that the new burgundy wash cloth I was using had not been washed and was bleeding. Total bachelor move.
Yeah, it used to be buy two to get the deal, maybe three, and I was okay with that. Now you often gotta buy four or even five to get the deal. Wtf, I don't need that much, assholes. That's not a sale, it's a scam.Quote:
Originally Posted by evdog
I’m having a flashback to a few hours ago in the cereal aisle…(Kellogg’s, to be specific).Quote:
Originally Posted by evdog
At least they let you mix and match flavors, some of these offers don’t.
Using the salt grinder, instead of the salt shaker, and accidentally throwing off my ability to judge appropriate amount. Resulting in a soup that is too salty.
"If I wanted it to taste like canned soup, I would have just bought canned soup."
Time to add 3 more potatoes.
I'm sure I must have posted this before but I got called to the ER in the middle of the night for a guy with a blue hand. Which usually means a blood clot in the artery, emergency surgery, a chance of winding up with a useless hand or worse. But 30 something guy, no pain, good pulse, and the blue--which was more like teal, washed off. The guy couldn't figure out where it came from.Quote:
Originally Posted by JongDoe
I needed a corkscrew at Safeway today. Buy 1, get one free, except there was only one.Quote:
Originally Posted by yeahman
That sounds like a verse from “Isn’t it Ironic” that didn’t make the cut.
My late uncle, D.O. ENTQuote:
Originally Posted by old goat
His favorite joke
Guy goes to the doctor because his penis is orange. He’s very concerned.
Doc does an examination and starts asking questions.
Finally asks has anything changed in your life lately?
Guy says yeah. I lost my job two weeks ago
Doc asks how has that affected your normal routine?
Guy says yeah, a little bit, I mostly sit around all day eating Cheetos and masturbating.
Tried to recover his wedding ring out of a jet liner toilet?Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
Dye pack from the local S&l.Quote:
Originally Posted by old goat
He was a machinist so I figure it must have been something at work but he couldn't think of what. It wasn't from the lining of his jacket. I had a pair of goretex and leather ski gloves that were still turning my hands blue after 20 years. Now they're turning my son's hands blue. I've moved on.
Ring shank nails. FML.
TIL that only most stainless steel is magnetic, not all, and my pans are in that unfortunate minority. Looks like my new range is coming with a new set of pans, fuck.
I hear ya. I stripped the deck boards off a 30+ year old 900 sq ft deck. I estimate there were 4000+ ring shank nails in the friggin thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by riser4
Just received back one OR zipper blow-out repair. $50 for a nice repair and far more robust zipper:
Attachment 478698
Sent via iPhone
Slidewright.com
I found this out anecdotally the other day. Being fat and lazy, I was using the magnetic sweeper to clean up a bunch of miscellaneous spilled metal fasteners off the floor. One of them would twitch a little but wouldn't stick to the sweeper. It looked like steel to me. New one on me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dantheman
I’m pretty sure I scratched my eyeball dealing with contacts somehow.
It sucks.
2023 is not apparently going to let you relax at the end of it, eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by rideit
Dude.
What a mother-fucking fucker of a fucked up year for me.
Luckily, I found a bunch of personal enlightenment, for reals.
No drugs or religion, just a bunch of letting go of toxic thinking and behavior.
So I have that going for me, I guess.
Even Tate is annoyed.
Attachment 478723
Hot Tate is hot :fm:
I ordered an "in-stock" couch a month ago, and tracking had it at the local warehouse for delivery two weeks ago. I finally got a delivery scheduled for this afternoon between 2 and 6 pm, so I take the afternoon off and wait for them. Get a call at 6:45 that their truck is broken and they can't make it today, so they will have to call back and reschedule. If I get it by New Years I'll be shocked.
Cancel the order unless they take 50% off for pain and suffering, not to mention lost revenue.
Yeah definitely going to reach out and try to get something in return for this. I’m just pissed have to keep sitting in the camping chair for another weekend.Quote:
Originally Posted by PB
My 6 months-old is going through a growth spurt at the moment, went from sleeping through most nights to waking up 3 or 4x to eat, and being royally pissed about it. Last night was particularly bad, Ms Boissal was at work and the babe was inconsolable. She finally settled for good around 6AM and I managed to pass out. I wake up at 7:45 AM to the sound of a chainsaw right outside my window. WTF? It's snowing, miserable shitfuck weather, who is getting after a tree so early? Massive operation directly across the street at a house that has been unoccupied for 3 months, 2 trucks, a crane, 2 dudes with chainsaw, 2 giant chippers. They're taking down a MASSIVE tree in the backyard. Fucking hell, today of all days. Baby is immediately awake and raging, her mom gets home after a heinous shift, everyone's worked, nobody can sleep. I poke my nose outside just in time to see the crane swinging a 40' section of tree over the house to lower it on the street. The fucker is swinging wildly and one of the big branches rams into one of the young maples that shade our yard, snapping a bunch of branches from it. Great...
The crew is at it until 11AM but leaves a very clean job site at least. The maple will grow back, not much to do about it anyway. The babe finally goes down for a nap and I start considering some rest myself when another tree company shows up and fires up their chipper at the next house up the street. Sure, why the fuck not... At least it didn't wake her up, but I didn't get any sleep.
An hour later and I kid you not, a giant truck shows up to pump the sewer or something of the sort directly in front of the house. There's the pump truck which is loud as fuck, and a cistern truck right behind it that's just idling there, contentedly piping decibels straight into my brain. They got done around 2PM. I must have filed a solid millimeter off my teeth from all the gnashing.
So glad I was "working from home" today.
You haven't lived till you've experienced a house being demoed and rebuilt nextdoor. Caissons and everything. While working from home...