My laptop is fucked. how do I fix it?

Not my work laptop. I have an older 2003ish Dell Latitude laptop that is used for porn storage, music downloads, porn storage, and porn storage. It got killed by some virus tht I got from kazaalite. Basically I downloaded every antivirus software and wrecked a whole bunch of shit.


Now I have 2 years worth of quality porn and music that I'd hate to lose. When I power up I get to my normal desktop background, but nothing else- no start bar, no program icons. Absolutely nothing.

Questions:
1) What the fuck is wrong with it and how do I fix it without losing my treasured porn stash?

2) Can I attach a usb link-to-link file transferrer thignamajig between my current laptop and the old laptop to pull out the files? Or will I risk infecting my current work laptop with whatever virus killed the machine?

I'll leave the details to the experts, but you probably have to start up in safe mode and run some antivirus program from there. I've only dealt with viruses once and I think that's what I did then.

Use it to hold the door open when you bring home a real computer, like a mac.

1) buy external USB2 drive casing for laptop 2.5" drive ($10-30 on amazon)
2) remove hard drive from laptop, install in external case
3) plug your new external hard drive into desktop and copy off morally questionable files

Note: This option, of course, fixes nothing, but it will almost certainly work as a last-resort porn saver.

hit CTRL-ALT-DELETE, choose Task List, choose new task, type in explorer, and hit enter. This may, and I stress may work. Sometimes the start up files get hosed by AV products.

"In other news, a Southern California Man--one Mr. Punani--has started a charitable foundation called "Save the Porn" in an effort to curb the effects of sudden and malicious computer failures have on unsuspecting, innocent pornographic materials. Still in it's infancy, the organization has recieved widespread support from the private and public sectors."

Post an ad in Craigslist, and maybe some nerd will fix it just for fun......

Well since you can't see your icons,etc. my guess would be that your explorer.exe was owned by one of your many viruses. You could try alot of different things to get your computer to "work", but many are frustrating and time consuming.

There are some simple ones you could try: booting up in safe mode and seeing if you can see your icons, try and burn all your porn that you assume isn't infected with shit to some cds or if you have an external hd transfer it to there, then format your laptop hd and transfer your porn back on. If it is your explorer.exe you could find your operating system disk, locate the explorer.exe on the disk and copy it to your root folder (just put it on the c drive, so the loction would be C:\EXPLORER.EXE),then delete the one in your C:\Windows folder, this works because windows boots off the first example of EXPLORER.EXE that it finds. If none of this works you could sell your brand new 2003 dell laptop on craig list or ebay.

good luck saving your stash

Quote:

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Originally Posted by backpack

1) buy external USB2 drive casing for laptop 2.5" drive ($10-30 on amazon)
2) remove hard drive from laptop, install in external case
3) plug your new external hard drive into desktop and copy off morally questionable files

Note: This option, of course, fixes nothing, but it will almost certainly work as a last-resort porn saver.

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Wait, so this means the porn laptop that's been in my closet for 4 years can be revived? If only it weren't 2 states away I'd be on that shit tonight.
Anything else I'd need to do? or is it that plug and play simple

Get a usb enclosure for your laptop hdd, copy the files to a compter you dont mind possibly infecting.

Reinstall the drive in your laptop.

Find the windows install disks that came with your computer and follow the instructions (make sure you format the drive and dont just overwrite)

Well what do you expect to get with all those naked ladies? I'm afraid my prognosis is that you have gotten yourself a VD. Next time use a rubber.

My money is on 'the clap'

1. Software firewall:
ZoneAlarm: http://download.zonelabs.com/bin/fre...seHistory.html

2. Antivirus (all three are free, pick one):

AVG: http://free.grisoft.com/doc/2/lng/us/tpl/v5
Avast: http://www.avast.com/eng/download-avast-home.html
AntiVir: http://www.free-av.com/index.htm

3. Real Time Prevention:
FireFox Browser: http://www.mozilla.com/firefox/
SpwayeGuard: http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareblaster.html
SpywareGuard: http://www.javacoolsoftware.com/spywareguard.html
Google Toolbar http://toolbar.google.com/

4. Cleanup, Detection, and Removal:
AdAware Personal (SE): http://www.lavasoftusa.com/support/download/
Spybot S&D: http://www.safer-networking.org/en/download/index.html
Windows Defender (formerly Microsoft AntiSpyware): http://www.microsoft.com/athome/secu...e/default.mspx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nealric

Get a usb enclosure for your laptop hdd, copy the files to a compter you dont mind possibly infecting.

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It's pretty unlikely that you're going to infect another computer if you ONLY copy your media (video/audio/photos) files from the drive... if you just copy everything, though, you're going to be copying the problem programs and if you run them again, BOOM!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by XtrPickels

Wait, so this means the porn laptop that's been in my closet for 4 years can be revived? If only it weren't 2 states away I'd be on that shit tonight.
Anything else I'd need to do? or is it that plug and play simple

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It's really simple. I've used enclosures from portable drives to rescue internal drives from both desktops and laptops before. It's kind of a pain when you're taking apart an enclosure and swapping out drives, then putting them back together, but if you get an empty external enclosure it should be very easy.

if you're on xp you should be able to start in safe mode and then use system restore to go back a few days prior to the system getting hosed.

If all other suggestions fail:
Download Knoppix (http://www.knopper.net/knoppix/index-en.html). Burn image on a cd and boot your computer from this CD.

Use built in cd burner software to burn your files or drag them to a computer in your network (if available).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by No User Logged On

Here's a method do follow, provided you're willing to spend several hours of time cleaning things up.

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Completely reverse this JONG's instructions and you have it the right way.

CLEAN before you put shit on it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by likwid

Completely reverse this JONG's instructions and you have it the right way.

CLEAN before you put shit on it.

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Those are instructions on how to clean. Reversing the order (5,4,3,2) will work, but will take more time.