Alpentalics Anonymous, a 12-Step Invitational, Feb 13-15, 2020
What are the Twelve Steps of Alpentalics Anonymous?
The Twelve Steps are a set of guiding principles in Stoke Addiction Treatment that outline actions for tackling problems including Alpentalism, Drug Addiction, and Powder Compulsion.
Step 1: Admit that you are powerless over Alpental; that your life has become unmanageable.
Step 2: Come to believe that a Powder greater and deeper than yourself could restore you to sanity.
Step 3: Make a decision to turn your will, your ski tips, and your life over to the care of Jah as you understand Him.
Step 4: Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself and your gear closet.
Step 5: Admit to Jah, to yourself, and to another Maggot the exact nature of your wrongs.
Step 6: Be entirely ready to have Jah remove all these defects of character.
Step 7: Humbly ask Jah to remove your shortcomings and your short skis.
Step 8: Make a list of all Maggots you have harmed or wish to meet, and become willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Make direct amends to such Maggots wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or diminish their stoke.
Step 10: Continue to take personal inventory, and when you are a JONG, promptly admit it.
Step 11: Seek through Powder and Medication to improve your conscious contact with Jah, as you understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for you and the Powder to carry that out.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, you are to carry this message to other Alpentalics, even if they have not yet come to embrace their Alpentalism, and to practice these principles in all your affairs.
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A bake sale will be held at the event, with proceeds benefiting the Pediatric Brain Tumor Research Fund.
Art, artifacts, widgets, gear, and of course baked goods are encouraged for donation to the sale.
Come ski with your friends, all you lurking motherfuckers!
Ski-offs are encouraged and handled as such: the winner provides beer. I am already making arrangements for kegs [emoji6].
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Alpentalics Anonymous, a 12-Step Invitational, Feb 13-15, 2020
Alpen, chronic, habitual.