Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.
What up gents —
I find myself smack in the middle of this wild adventure with some thoughts to share.
While initially I felt alone in my thoughts the more I talked to other dads the more I realized pretty much every dude feels similar things when thrust into this position and I think we need to talk more openly about this.
Like most of you guys my church is gravity, all stress and qualms up to this point in my life could be abated by sitting on a chairlift, shuffling up a skin track, or pedaling down soft loam. I am no stranger to stress and the above activities have seen me through PA school and placed me into a very successful career within my current company. I say this to illustrate the point that my coping strategies have always worked and helped me rise above tough times.
Why now is it different? Well, I have some thoughts but I’m also hoping to hear from the collective on this too!
Things I’ve noticed —
I am more of an anxious person — this is wild to me I’ve never had anxiety other than anxiety related to passing boards or performing well at an interview. You know the type of anxiety which heightens your senses and makes one perform at their best but passes quickly once the task is complete! The anxiety I feel now is different, I’ll be great one moment then feel this intense burden of anxious feelings which I can’t shake, this will last 10 minutes or a whole day. I’ve dug more into this and I think it stems from a few things the primary being concern for my daughter but I know sleep deprivation can’t be helping with that!
Anyways, more ramblings to come but my attention is required elsewhere haha.
Maybe I need to grow a fucking set and deal but I see this thread a place we can celebrate our successes and failures, voice concerns, and seek guidance from those who have walked this road before.
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Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.
My daughter turns two next Monday. Holy ffff, you don’t really notice how much time flies.
I was on parental leave from July 2019 until March 23, 2020, when I “returned to work” it was all working from home. I’m still working from home as we’re well into a third wave.
My wife went back to work November 2019, and has to be at the office. She’s the boss, and it’s not work that can be done remotely.
She comes home most days to work on advertising and her social media. It’s exhausting for her, and I think we’re both lonely.
My mental health has been ok for most of this, but damn some days are long and hard when trying to work from home with an almost two year old.
I used to bike commute 20km daily to and from the office, which was great for my sanity, but that no longer happens. I got a 2 hour ski ‘day’ this winter.
The weather has finally almost made getting on my bike (with a toddler seat) realistic again after winter, maybe this week I hope.
I never thought being a dad would be easy, it’s tough, but hell is it fun some days.
Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.
Wow, I really appreciate the genuine responses this has prompted — knew I wasn’t alone!
Embracing this new chapter sounds key as this parental anxiety isn’t going anywhere haha!
For me it’s learning to enjoy the NOW and not look forward to these future times as who knows what that future will actually hold.
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Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.
No mention of your kids age.
But a couple of yrs ago I ran myself down pretty good shuffling work schedules and appointments with kids practice and tutoring schedule.
I’d then get to my ex’s house and they were never ready.
It’s too much, you have to seriously learn to roll with the punches and always remain chill. Otherwise you will miss out on a lot and your kids will just see you pissed all the time.
Sooner or later that anxiety will eat you up.
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