I got KICKED OUT of the 36 hours of Keystone!
What an interesting night it has been so far! Searches, nazis, having my pass pulled, skiing, crashes with injuries!
After some crappy work, it was time to get some night turns in. After having Peru lift closed right in front of us, my buddy and I bussed over to River Run. After that long walk through the village, we encountered a line and sign. The sign simply said "<-Men Women->" Could the rumors of pat downs be true?
THE CHECKPOINT
I reached the front of the line and before I could even open my mouth, the man in the yellow jacket began touching me. There was no warning or words, he just starting feeling me. I said "HEY!" and pushed him away once. He continued to pat me down and I said "It is NOT OK to touch me!" as I pushed him away with more force.
Me: "What the hell? I did not consent to a search!"
Yellow Event Douche: "If you want to ski, you have to be searched."
Me: "I don't recall that being in the small print on my season pass."
Yellow Event Douche: "It was on the 36 hours website. You don't have to ski here tonight. This is a special event."
Me: "YOU are not touching me again."
Yellow Event Douche: "You can talk to her then..." *points to Eva Braun
I tried to walk over to the person he was pointing at when another Yellow Event Douche grabbed me from behind and told me I couldn't go anywhere until he searched me. Yellow Event Douche #1 had to tell the guy to back off. So I walk over to Eva Braun, who is actually Pat Cambell, the Keystone Chief of Operations.
EVA BRAUN
Me: "Your guy grabbed me."
Eva Braun: "We are searching everyone for alcohol and other contraband."
Me: "This is public land."
Eva Braun: "We can't let people drink on the lift."
Me: "But you can let them drink the Greenlight" *I gesture to the club/bar that is 15ft away "I'm not drinking. I do not intend to drink. You can smell my breath if you want, but you may not have you people simply grab me and start searching my physical person."
Eva Braun: "This is no different than any other big event. You have to get patted down."
Me: "Your guy just grabbed me and didn't ask permission or say what he was doing. He didn't stop when I told him to."
Eva Braun: "Well, I'm sorry."
Me: "I want him to appologize."
Eva Braun: "Well I"m sorry."
Me: "You didn't touch me. He did. I want him to apologize for assaulting me."
Eva Braun yells to Yellow Event Douche #1. He comes over and apologizes for not explaining and asking before touching me.
Eva Braun: "You should appreciate us looking out for safety."
Me: "If you were looking out for safety, you would be stopping people who look or smell drunk instead of searching every one of your customers."
Eva Braun: "You still aren't getting up the mountain without being searched."
NO SKIING FOR YOU!
I can see my friend is getting impatient.
Me: "This is a load of bull. Fine. Pick someone to finish searching me."
Eva Braun calls over Yellow Event Douche #3 who searches me.
Me: "Find anything?"
Yellow Event Douche #3: "No. You can go."
I turn to Eva Braun and say "Javol mein fuhrer!" and walk towards the Gondola.
I make it about 20ft and I hear someone yelling "HEY! YOU STOP!"
Yellow Event Douche #3 comes running up to me: "We don't need attitude on this mountain."
Me: "I'm sorry, you searched me and found nothing. You followed your orders. I complied and now I am going skiing."
Eva Braun and Yellow Event Douche #4 run up as well. Yellow Event Douche #4 grabs my pass and scans it.
Eva Braun: "Hot list his pass for the night. You are done for the night."
Me: "Fuck you very much!"
SO THEN I WENT SKIING ANYWAYS
My buddy is blown away by this. I tell him to go ski and I'll meet him. He looks puzzled. I then take the bus home. I told the bus driver what had happened. She told me the pat downs were to protect the Keystone Resort liquor license from getting pulled for outside alcohol being at an event. Wow... great reason to search *everyone*. Let's protect the liquor license but not stop the drunks. :cussing:
So I went home, got another ski pass, and proceeded to enter the Gondola area from a direction where there were no Yellow Event Douche's groping people, got on the lift, and skied for the next 4 hours. :FIREdevil
THE WRECK
It was pretty good at first. The snow was alright and the crowds weren't bad. I rode lifts with people bragging about how drunk they were, how they had stashed their liquor in the woods earlier in the day, and how they almost hit that skier/boarder last run. Eventually it got pretty crowded and icy. I decided that it was prolly time to call it because I couldn't go fast and people were skiing pretty wild.
I skied down my final run and came upon a figure lying face down in the snow with 4 people pointing at her. Snowboarder/Skier collision. She was unresponsive. I told a bystander to call patrol. I got to play EMT for a while until patrol showed, then I helped them. KSP was, as usual, very professional and very good. If you are going to get hurt skiing, I recommend doing it at Keystone. Patrol thanked me for my help. I went off to fill out their witness statement.
Thoughts
Now I'm finally having some beer and pizza. It's time to chill until things clear out until 3AM and ski till sunrise.
I do find it very ironic that Eva Braun/Pat Cambell reacted to my free speech accusation of authoritarianism by exercising more athouritah and kicking me out. Luckily for me, Yellow Event Douche's aren't nearly as efficient in enforcing authoritah as real nazis are.
It's too bad to see people getting hurt by drunks while Keystone reacts by violating all of their customers instead of actually trying to stop the ones who are really drunk.
