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glademaster
10-09-2004, 08:37 PM
I know that there are plenty of maggots/minions that are very good graphic designers and are quite artistic to boot (MD9 comes to mind first, but I know there are others). Anyway, I'm in my high schools environmental "tree hugger" club, "EarthShine" and we something that will identify us and serve as a fundraiser. All profits will be donated to an environmetal association of some kind, I've evern suggested some go to avalanche research or various groups trying to protect certain areas/resorts from development.

But anyway, we need a logo for t-shirts that will be sold at our school. Something that depicts a clean/healthy environment and clearly showcases the "EarthShine" name on it. Within those parameters, any design that you can submit is a good design. Everything that is posted will be run by the members of the group, and should we decide on a winner, they will be notified, given a cash reward of some size, an "EarthShine" t-shirt featuring the logo, and if they will be at the Utah MiniSummit, a 6-pack of the beer of their choosing. So help me out maggots, the proceeds from the sales will go to a good cause. Thanks in advance everyone.

meatdrink9
10-09-2004, 09:35 PM
Sounds like a cool project for some of these younger guys looking to get some work printed and maybe add to their portfolios. I'd like to help, but I'm currently in the 8th level of hell busy at both home and work.

PeachesN'Cream
10-10-2004, 12:12 PM
i too will opt out due to being way the hell over extended on all my extra projects. (god damn i so owe gunderson his website :o )

sounds like a good cause and i'm sure somebody will pull it through for ya.

glademaster
10-11-2004, 07:12 AM
Bump for the weekday crew. Please lend any ideas you have, it's for a good cause.

basom
10-11-2004, 07:22 AM
these are the best ones i can make with limited time. i like the store front and the poem the best. you can mail me the six pack.

http://www.edinboro.com/business/earthshine.jpg

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/art/d/r/drewry2/earthshineweb.jpg

http://www.cix.co.uk/~starling/altview.gif

Cornholio
10-11-2004, 07:27 AM
How about this:

There's a tree. Getting ready to cut down said tree is some dood with a chainsaw. The saw probably has lots of noxious fumes. But, there's another dood who has just kicked the tree-chopper dood and is pissing on him while screaming "Shine my earth, bitch!" The tree-hugger could even be wearing the shirt-- symbolic of the continuity of the environmental movement and the need for it to continue through generations.

I can't draw, though.

bad_roo
10-11-2004, 07:38 AM
How about a giant whelk, maybe about the size of a dumpster, tearing through the streets of Tokyo killing screaming humans with its hideous trail of snot. As the people run into shot, they could be wearing special 'Earthshine' promotional hats, much like the paper hats they used to wear at Wendy's.

The whelk has to look seriously pissed though.

basom
10-11-2004, 07:51 AM
The whelk has to look seriously pissed though.

..........

MacDaddy
10-11-2004, 10:03 AM
but I'm currently in the 8th level of hell .

Very nice Dante reference!

I guess nothing should surprise me about you JA!

now take the test see where you really are

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv

bad_roo
10-11-2004, 10:07 AM
That whelk looks like a rampaging maelstrom of hate, carving an apocalyptic swathe through the consumer electronics retailing district of Shinjuku, devastating the gross national product of Japan in a horrific scene of bukkake destruction. He embodies what I come to think of as the very essence of Earthshine.

basom
10-11-2004, 10:16 AM
DONT FUCK WITH EARTHSHINE, CRACKERS!

basom
10-11-2004, 11:06 AM
..........

Aldo
10-11-2004, 11:15 AM
That last one should work. Make up some stickers and slap them on the rich chicks Escalades! I can just see you submitting that to a room full of the club members, totally serious, " I've had a focus group work through this, and they came up with this cracker concept. " Ugh, that's funny. Is that the electronics district though?

basom
10-11-2004, 11:19 AM
its Shinjuku. if that is indeed the electronics district, then yes.

mildbill.
10-11-2004, 11:25 AM
http://tetongravity.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=2694&stc=1

http://www.oeta.onenet.net/welk%20color%202.jpg
stop talking shit and fight me, fucker

glademaster
10-11-2004, 11:54 AM
Does anyone have any worthwhile, serious contributions? I know plenty of people had great ideas for Summit stickers, ski topsheets, etc. Can we please apply that same artistic talent and ability to this project? Thanks in advance to anyone who submits something that could be a viable option.

basom
10-11-2004, 11:55 AM
http://www.oeta.onenet.net/welk%20color%202.jpg
stop talking shit and fight me, fucker

you are fully owned and covered with bukkake spew

mildbill.
10-11-2004, 12:06 PM
http://www.kartelle.com/actors/southpark/cartman/Cartman.jpg
Does anyone have any worthwhile, serious contributions? I know plenty of people had great ideas for Summit stickers, ski topsheets, etc. Can we please apply that same artistic talent and ability to my homework so I don't have to? Thanks in advance to anyone who submits something that could be a viable option and saves me the work of coming up with something myself.


Laurence Welk will rise again after the mollusk bukkake incident! mark my words basom, mark my words.

basom
10-11-2004, 12:10 PM
Does anyone have any worthwhile, serious contributions? I know plenty of people had great ideas for Summit stickers, ski topsheets, etc. Can we please apply that same artistic talent and ability to this project? Thanks in advance to anyone who submits something that could be a viable option.

if you don't bring angry bukkake whelk up as a possibility to your school group i will be personaly insulted. do you realize how much time i put into this for you? Thats the last time i do you any favours, unless you put it on the list of options. thats all i;m asking. imho he is the perfect logo/spokesman for your cause, that is plain enough.

hop
10-11-2004, 01:17 PM
I leave the visuals to basom, but why not just have a giant hand spraying and wiping down the earth with Windex? Earthshine. Seems simple to me.

However, the bukkake whelk is stunning and you should use it. One of those needs to be made into a sticker.

Angry Whelk
10-11-2004, 01:36 PM
Glademistress: i will fucking spew on your face if you don not give me the recognition that i deserve! cracker ass non enviornment understanding whelk hating bitch! its bukkake for you and your whole family!

Spicoli
10-11-2004, 01:43 PM
Fuck the Welk's, whelk's, clams, crabs, scabs, t-shirt's, logo's, crackers and fudgepackers...


www.fuckforforest.com is where it's at

Aldo
10-11-2004, 07:09 PM
BWAHAHAHA!

non grata
10-13-2004, 09:20 AM
https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/normal_kakeshirt.jpg

you should make it base. i'd get one.

(sorry, glade)

basom
10-13-2004, 09:25 AM
i'm definitly going to make some stickers.

shinjuku, motherfucker! makes me laugh pretty hard.

Cornholio
10-13-2004, 12:12 PM
You want something MORE CREATIVE than an angry mollusk carving a path of destruction through densly populated cities with it's evil snail-snot?

Tough crowd.

basom
10-13-2004, 12:16 PM
pretty insensitive, really.

looking a gifthorse in the mouth i'd say.

glademaster
10-13-2004, 12:21 PM
I won't argue with you on the subject of creativity, it is very creative. But the maggots as a whole have turned out some really classic graphic stuff over the years, and I hoped to tap into some of that creativity with this. I guess I was asking too much. :rolleyes:

bad_roo
10-13-2004, 01:33 PM
https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/normal_kakeshirt.jpg

you should make it base. i'd get one.

(sorry, glade)

I want one of these shirts.

basom
10-13-2004, 01:39 PM
i think i'm going to print up all the shirts i can, and stickers. then i'll sell them all over the internet, and around town. i'll send glademasters enviornmental group a check for all the hundreds of dollars i'll make off of this genius concept and design. except i'll write: VOID, YOU CRACKER BITCHES on it. i'll send them a free tee shirt too.

iceman
10-13-2004, 01:47 PM
If you put that shirt on cafepress I'll buy one.

schuss
10-13-2004, 01:47 PM
I definitely want a shirt if you make one. Will "shinjuku motherfucker" become the new "change for a nickel"?

basom
10-13-2004, 01:52 PM
I definitely want a shirt if you make one. Will "shinjuku motherfucker" become the new "change for a nickel"?


it will be for me. for sure.

i tried to set up a cafepress dealie yesterday, but their site kept kicking me off. i'm definetly going to set one up, hopefully thursday. that shirt will certainly be included.

non grata
10-13-2004, 03:19 PM
try out customink.com, their user interface is pretty easy to use.

https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/kakeshirt1.gif
https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/kakeshirt2.gif
https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/kakethong.gif

basom
10-14-2004, 11:41 AM
nice thong.
sorry i missed this post, and just set up a cafepress.

only one sticker so far. i'll get more stuff up. if people want the stuff grats did i'm sure we can work it out.

represent shinjuku

http://www.cafepress.com/angrywhelk

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/6/14032966_F_tn.jpg?r=632334163111015000

tonghands
10-14-2004, 11:58 AM
Genius, must have. Make shirts please.

non grata
10-14-2004, 11:59 AM
that thing's a lot creepier with an articulated mouth and eyes.

basom
10-14-2004, 12:01 PM
i'll get a lot more up in a few hours. have to actually do some work for a moment. (hard for you guys to believe i'm sure)

non grata
10-14-2004, 12:04 PM
base, the bukkake ikebana master.

tonghands
10-14-2004, 12:06 PM
Is it too late to change the Bro model graphics?

basom
10-14-2004, 02:12 PM
bump for tee shirt.

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/3/14034343_F_tn.jpghttp://zoom.cafepress.com/5/5467725_zoom.jpg

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/3/14034343_B_tn.jpghttp://zoom.cafepress.com/6/5467766_zoom.jpg

non grata
10-14-2004, 02:20 PM
*sniffle* it's bootiful.

any chance for a black tee?

edit: wow, look at that texture on the puddle.

basom
10-14-2004, 02:22 PM
i don't think cafepress offers black tees. i can do white.

kinda lame.

iceman
10-14-2004, 02:33 PM
I hate to admit this, but google is no help. I have never done so many searches with "no result found". What is the origin of the angry whelk who spews bukkake death from above Shinjuku-style? I know the meaning of all the words, and I know he is large and angry and flies and spews bukkake death Shinjuku-style because of pollution and radiation, and I'm diggin' the whole thing, but where the fuck did it come from?

Tees are cool, base, can you do a non-"motherfucker" version so I can wear it around the house?

basom
10-14-2004, 02:38 PM
iceman. please. your talking shit about doing homework.... all you have to do is read this thread. this is the genisis.

and i will make a sfih (safe for icemang's house) version, for sure. anyone want a mousepad?

non grata
10-14-2004, 02:39 PM
Tees are cool, base, can you do a non-"motherfucker" version so I can wear it around the house?

"daddy, what's a 'bukkake?'"

Tippster
10-14-2004, 02:39 PM
Anything to do with "Demon City Shinjuku?" Some hot anime chiquitas in that one...

http://www.geocities.com/ikrichter/demon.htm

EDIT: Look, she's even eagerly, and somewhat shamefully, awaiting the bukkake death from above...

http://www.nichibeianime.com/cel-imgs/demon_city-imgs/ds011.jpg

basom
10-14-2004, 02:41 PM
all you have to do is read this thread. this is the genisis.


polution, electronics district, its all on the first page people. very straight forward.

iceman
10-14-2004, 02:46 PM
this is the genisis.



That's fucking sweet. Nice work.

It's so extravagantly weird and cool that I figured it must have come from some Japanese cartoon or comic book or something.

Tippster
10-14-2004, 02:49 PM
Why don't you just flat-out fucking say:

"Icemang - it was Roo's idea."

...and leave it at that? :D You two should go into business together. So Roo, do much Acid as a kid, or were you just dropped repeatedly into slightly glowing sewage by your Nanny who was taking out her own personal form of revenge on the bourgeoisie?

Angry Whelk
10-14-2004, 02:53 PM
It's so extravagantly weird and cool that I figured it must have come from some Japanese cartoon or comic book or something.

i come from the sea, a deep and poluted cavern. This bad-roo, this basom; mearly discover what already exists. Now i have awake, now i make human pay with bukakke death. I come from above with warm puddle of spew, you no see me, and then you are drown.

Shinjuku, MOTHERFUCKER!

Tippster
10-14-2004, 02:56 PM
Something (his stony silence) tells me Glademaster isn't too enthused by this idea and is eagerly awaiting another idea to bail his no-doin'-yer-own-homework ass out...

Aldo
10-14-2004, 03:10 PM
I won't argue with you on the subject of creativity, it is very creative. But the maggots as a whole have turned out some really classic graphic stuff over the years, and I hoped to tap into some of that creativity with this. I guess I was asking too much. :rolleyes:


Your club had the first shot at this, just remember that bumpmaster.
This whelk is going places.

road trip
10-14-2004, 03:17 PM
Damn. I'm fawking laughing so hard I'm crying right now. :D :D :D

Jeez people think I'm strange here.

Slabmonger
10-15-2004, 01:32 AM
This is what I came up with for bukakke, original in itself...

Bukakke (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/bukakke.html)

basom
10-15-2004, 07:04 AM
Tees are cool, base, can you do a non-"motherfucker" version so I can wear it around the house?

done and done.

bad_roo
10-15-2004, 07:13 AM
"Death From Above" is winging its way to Tooting even as we speak.

basom
10-15-2004, 07:15 AM
making bumper sticker now. hehehe, this is fun.

edit:

http://zoom.cafepress.com/7/5472617_zoom.jpg

whelk steeze here (http://www.cafepress.com/angrywhelk)

iceman
10-15-2004, 08:31 AM
One SFIH Tee and a couple of "Shinjuku, Motherfucker!" stickers heading my way.

Now I have to figure out where to put the stickers for maximum visibility...if they were cheaper I'd buy a hundred and put them all around D.C.

365wp
10-15-2004, 08:39 AM
Must...resist...temptation...to register angrywhelk.com...

basom
10-15-2004, 08:45 AM
lets start a corperation!

register, we make web site, we rule the world.

iceman
10-15-2004, 08:48 AM
Sounds like a plan.

If we have any competitors we can bring death from above from a warm puddle of spew.

basom
10-15-2004, 08:53 AM
and then they are drown!

iceman
10-15-2004, 09:19 AM
The bear is killing me. Nice work, Base.

365wp
10-15-2004, 09:25 AM
the domain is mine
soon we will control the world
with our awesome snot.

basom
10-15-2004, 09:30 AM
the domain is mine
soon we will control the world
with our awesome snot.

https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/fm1.gif https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/fm1.gif https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/fm1.gif https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/fm1.gif

Run it over, run them out
Knock your block, or tearing your doubt
Move on corners, move around
Talk no talk, breaking you down

We are a corporation
We are a company
We cut high, but we're cuttin high anyway (?)
We are your mother's father
We are your fighter friend
It never started and it wont end

Broken faces, burnt and bent
Deal off (??)
Ride on nothin', ride your head
Got no fear, sayin' not said

We are a population
We are a factory
We don't do, but we never did anyway
We are your mother's father
We are your fighter friend
It never started and it wont end



yeah the bear is mint, eh ice?

iceman
10-15-2004, 09:32 AM
Wicked mint.

Angry Whelk
10-15-2004, 09:38 AM
commercialism
bring attention to whelk's plight
someday: Peace. NOW: SPEW!!!

basom
10-15-2004, 09:41 AM
i'm impressed that hte whelk can write with the 5-7-5.

well, he's japanese, so i guess it makes sense.

Angry Whelk
10-15-2004, 09:46 AM
i'm impressed that hte whelk can write with the 5-7-5.

CRACKER! don't doubt whelk
powers is much besides spew
you don't want find out!

basom
10-15-2004, 09:50 AM
i think i created a monster.

you forgot to add Shinjuku, MOTHERFUCKER!

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 10:16 AM
Bear?

What fucking bear? :confused:

basom
10-15-2004, 10:17 AM
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/8/14046868_F_tn.jpg

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 10:23 AM
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/8/14046868_F_tn.jpg
BWAHAHAHAHAH!
I think I just bukkaked in my pants

365wp
10-15-2004, 10:48 AM
i think i created a monster.


Yes (http://www.angrywhelk.com/).

basom
10-15-2004, 11:02 AM
sweet. so what do we have to do yo put content up???

this is all i see.

Viva
10-15-2004, 11:38 AM
When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "I come from above with warm puddle of spew!" I looked, and there before me was an angry whelk! It was named Shinjuku, and Hades was following close behind him. It was given power over a fourth of the earth to destroy by Bukakke, and drown the wild beasts of the earth in its pud.

Revelation

basom
10-15-2004, 11:40 AM
fucking awsome biblical whelk shit.


https://www.tetongravity.com/usergalleries/albums/userpics/11712/fm1.gif

iceman
10-15-2004, 11:42 AM
When the Lamb opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature say, "I come from above with warm puddle of spew!" I looked, and there before me was an angry whelk! It was named Shinjuku, and Hades was following close behind him. It was given power over a fourth of the earth to destroy by Bukakke, and drown the wild beasts of the earth in its pud.

Revelation

Thus it was written.

We gotta get some content up there. Who's able to host it?

tonghands
10-15-2004, 12:37 PM
I hereby nominate Samuel L. Jackson to be the voice of the Angry Whelk in any whelk TV or movie spinoffs.

"Shinjuku Motherfucker, do you speak it?"

non grata
10-15-2004, 12:42 PM
i dunno, i'd image the whelk would be a mix between yan can cook and that laosian guy from king of the hill.

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 12:50 PM
As I walk in the front door of the house, I hear the dog flying down the hall, instead of the usual, "get down", the dog gets a big dose of...

"SHINJUKU MOTHERFUCKER!"

it puts fear in the beast as well as in man.

basom
10-15-2004, 12:51 PM
ahhahahahahahahahahahahahbwahahahahahahahaahahhaha

mildbill.
10-15-2004, 12:54 PM
angry whelk voices
rattle through my aching head:
Hattori Hanzo

You Like Warm SAKE?
veeeery goooood angry whelk says
how i picture it

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 12:56 PM
And, I may bust it out at the gym later on today.


After the last rep doing Deads, I may just drop the olympic bar, turn around, look the workout partner staight in the eye...


SHINJUKU MOTHERFUCKER!!!

basom
10-15-2004, 12:56 PM
You Like Warm SAKE?
veeeery goooood angry whelk says
how i picture it


http://ixnay.online.free.fr/Dossiers/Cine%20DVD%20TV/Cine/Special%20Kill%20Bill/Images/Hatoshi.jpg

Cornholio
10-15-2004, 01:04 PM
Well.

I hope glademaster is happy. Just look what he's done.

This place is what would have happened if Einstien had only had a right brain.

Mrs Roo
10-15-2004, 01:57 PM
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/1/14048411_F_tn.jpg
Roo, you are NOT putting one of these pieces of crap on our fucking fridge!

iceman
10-15-2004, 02:01 PM
hahaha, I see Basom's been busy, I need to go back to the store and see what he's been up to.

iceman
10-15-2004, 02:05 PM
oh, man, the school lunchbox, too damn funny.

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 02:06 PM
Roo, you are NOT putting one of these pieces of crap on our fucking fridge! Don't you mean,
Roo, if you put one of those fucking pieces or crap on our fucking fridge, I'll go bukkake on your face!"

Tippster
10-15-2004, 02:14 PM
Don't you mean,
Roo, if you put one of those fucking pieces or crap on our fucking fridge, I'll go bukkake on your face!"
I'd pay a dollar to watch that.

Mrs Roo
10-15-2004, 02:21 PM
Don't you mean,
Roo, if you put one of those fucking pieces or crap on our fucking fridge, I'll go bukkake on your face!"

But of course! I do a great impression of jizzing molluscs.

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 02:25 PM
But of course! I do a great impression of jizzing molluscs.
Just remember to conclude with

SHINJUKU MOTHERFUCKER!

Viva
10-15-2004, 02:31 PM
But of course! I do a great impression of jizzing molluscs.

Record it! We'll need streaming video for the website! Or steaming video...whatever.

bad_roo
10-15-2004, 02:39 PM
She's tempted by the thong.

I'd like to send our long term Jaguar S-TYPE back to the Jaguar press garage with http://prodtn.cafepress.com/6/14032966_F_tn.jpg on the back...

Tippster
10-15-2004, 02:40 PM
OK, once again this thread has caused me to draw the entire news-room's attention to myself. You guys will get me fired for sure one day...

Cornholio
10-15-2004, 02:42 PM
Just cover any dings or paint nicks with it. When they ask, just say, "It was the whelk, mates. Not much we could do."

(ps- note the use of the word "mates," which is how I imagine roo must talk.)

Spicoli
10-15-2004, 02:45 PM
ANGRY WHELK INVADES SHINJUKU!! Thousands dies in the wake of it's Bukkake...

Film at 11:00

basom
10-15-2004, 03:47 PM
looks like 365 got the new website linked to the cafepress store. so if you want magnets, buttons, stickers, lunchboxes, whatever, visity the new site www.angrywhelk.com (http://www.angrywhelk.com) and just click on the lead image.

look for the history of the Angry Whelk soon to be released on angrywhelk.com, and hopefully some other fun things.

iceman
10-15-2004, 03:51 PM
link no worky. Couldn't get it to come up directly either.

so disappointing....

365wp
10-15-2004, 05:26 PM
I'm hosting a bunch of domains on that server so you won't be able to get there via the IP and the name probably hasn't made it to all the DNS servers yet. The name should resolve soon.

iceman
10-15-2004, 08:30 PM
Sweet. You rock.

A cool thing is that the last light bulb in this room blew today so I'm typing this in the dark*; I guess I rock too.

*well I got some monitor glow, yo.

Viva
10-15-2004, 09:52 PM
How about a bumper sticker of Shinjuku making warm stinky bukakke on George Bush's face? I'd buy a few of those.

basom
10-16-2004, 02:04 PM
How about a bumper sticker of Shinjuku making warm stinky bukakke on George Bush's face? I'd buy a few of those.

i was thinking the same thing today. i'm thinking up a whole political series.
problem is you can only put up one bumpersticker design at a time... maybe there is a better way to get stickers? i'll look into that.

splat
10-24-2004, 11:21 PM
So glades, how'd the project end up going off? shinjuku?

Peasants sleeping silently
Whelk arises in Hiroshimatic horror
SHINJUKU, MOTHERFUCKERS!

BurmaShave
11-03-2004, 11:04 AM
Check out "EPOCH", a B-grade science fiction movie about a 4 billion year old alien mollusk shaped structure found hovering in Bhutan, that just may change the future of all lifeforms on the planet.


Click here http://littleman.com/movies/films/7/000179457.html

FNG
11-05-2004, 06:19 PM
I used to have mad Flash developer steeze. Angry Whelk the animated series on www.angrywhelk.com a possibility?

road trip
12-03-2004, 01:57 PM
Friday afternoon bump of one of the greatest threads ever.

Shinjuku, Motherfuckers!

glademaster
12-03-2004, 04:17 PM
Wow, I can't believe my thread turned into this. That is all.

SnowyOwl
12-03-2004, 05:44 PM
Friday afternoon bump of one of the greatest threads ever.

Shinjuku, Motherfuckers!
I am fairly new to this site and a lot of times it is just ridiculous spew. But I almost ruptured myself laughing - you guys were rocking with this one. Thank god I have real walls not a cube.

iceman
12-03-2004, 05:53 PM
It's hard to be funny on command, but I can do it.
Basom and Roo are even better.

Shinjuku, man. Think about it.

basom
05-11-2005, 08:27 PM
randomly saw this:


Hollow smoke the hole transmitting
her hair come out like red meat through uh screen door
wiped her shoulder balanced like a ball
her face was erect on a long thin neck
light rubber mountains in the distance stretched
under wind blown spider webs
the wind puffed out drank the blue sky
one milk cloud grazed
the sun sailed into black bag hung t' strap around
the girl bowed 'n rested against her cocked hip
a row of buttons ran up her like raisins
crisp collars folds made shadows under her loose breasts
feet orange rakes wiggled sand
the sea moved returned claimed one lace paper plate
like a frayed damp fish it spun 'n sank in a foaming circle
a sandwich corner flys in a gulls beak
she smiles her fingers skim into green beads
drip roll 'n line off her creased palm
clear salt diamonds sparkle on her nose
black horns shadows her cheeks
turn pink red pulp darts into speech
'n rests between glazed white
in a moment I say
the day caught me full hot open eyes swam blood graphs
cloth grated roughly damp where I set
black hair fur 'n wings rancid rainbows
hummed the half eatin' dead fish silver 'n pink brine
bubbled from the torn off fin
I searched for a stick
poked the bloated bulb one scale broke loose like uh husk
shaped like a fingernail blew away like paper
over my shoulder the sand made the highway crawl
black 'n wavy my car looked important
a fat person moved noisily by with two small children
on either hip disappeared down the beach as decorated genitals
under an umbrella rocks stuck my buttered body
I caught one under my nail 'n flicked it with my thumb
Pena said: "You look like a sugared strawberry."
we better get going before it gets cold 'n it makes us too hot
Pena danced like a wounded stork - held her foot up
screaming: "I have been bitten by something!"
I consoled her - you have been attacked by a coke cap
it's angry teeth prints fading
Pena exclaimed: "That's the raspberries."
uh banana like uh limp star drooped from her free hand
this situation pleased the old man
his face smiled leather laughter
the thermos opened - the inside of the car
tasted like a caramel you walked by
this is cold - this is too - somebody will see if we do something
about it - it's too day
you wanted to - it was your idea - it's damp 'n cold 'n noisy
at night though - cops might arrest us - who cares how we go
together but Jesus?
Pena your legs are pretty as uh crab the way they open
"Are like pincers" said Pena innocently
"Whales never come out of the water do they?" Pena tongued
if that happened it would be uh sticky situation - listen to
the ocean - I can't - all those little ears - ha ha pth pth zzzz
Pena exclaimed: "That's the raspberries!"
what more could you want than to be brought up?
the old fart's heart beat like uh drum
his mouth was dry 'n there was an angry whelk
throbbing from where he'd been poked earlier that day
while posing as a dead fish
one fly had crawled through the nostrils in his intricate
trout replica mask and had somehow got fouled-up in his
intricate air-bulb atomizer breathing device 'n it whistled
'n stank 'n tickled with every breath
one leg had been torn off where the tube went in his mouth
he could feel it hanging from his lip
'n the thought of it almost made him vomit
he was numb from the neck down
and was too exhausted at this point t' dig himself out of the sand
his whole scheme had been foiled
by the fog that gathered on the inside
of the detailed view holes
that even upon close inspection
appeared to be eyes


- Don Van Vliet

Core Shot
05-11-2005, 08:42 PM
Whoa.
Captain Beefheart, way ahead of his time, as usual.
What a visionary genius.
Now I am drowned.

iceman
05-11-2005, 08:55 PM
you are drown, dude

Cornholio
05-12-2005, 07:15 AM
I wonder how glademaster's Happy Hands Club t-shirts turned out, anyway.

shmerham
05-12-2005, 09:41 AM
randomly saw this:

Google also reveals this:



OLLi the ORMER




MYTH & LEGEND


by


A V J Brassell




Introduction

The Ormer (Haliotis Tuberculata) is considered by Guernsey people to be the Islands own Gastropod.Its name is derived from the French for "Sea Ear" which relates to the Gastropods shape. It is better known as one of the many species of Abalone to be found around the world.

The flesh of the ormer has been eaten in Guernsey, the northern most limit of the Gastropods range in Europe, since time immemorial and it has found a special place in Guernsey folklore.I remember being told as a child of the Giant Ormer of the Russell which if hit by a passing ship could cause it to founder. The Giant Ormer was alleged to be responsible for many of the mysterious sinkings off Guernsey’s east coast.

There were also the mysterious swimming Ormers of the west coast which trailed beautiful veils of delicate white and were known as the fairies of the sea.

But for me the talking Ormers of the south coast are the most evocative and real of all the many stories about our favourite gastropod and it is they that are the inspiration for "Olli the Ormer".

The Talking Ormers

It is said that many years ago when the Ormer was under extreme pressure from human hunters, a small colony at the bottom of the steepest cliffs on the South Coast of Guernsey, was led to safety by the first of the talking Ormers.

He has gone down in Ormer legend as "The Deliverer".

It was "The Deliverer" who taught the other Ormers to speak, enabling them to warn each other of approaching danger. It was also that hero who brought them out from under the rocks when all was clear, and taught the Ormers how to hold their heads high and enjoy life to the full.

Legend has it that the talking Ormers can still be found at the bottom of the South Coast cliffs but it is a foolish man who tries to climb down those cliffs to find them. So there Olli and his family live safe and happy carrying on the talking Ormer tradition.

When in his favourite rockpool Olli is surrounded by his family and friends.They include Red, the Jersey Ormer, a special friend washed ashore on a piece of driftwood after a very fierce South Easterly gale. There is also another friend called Barney, because of the large barnacle on his shell. We must not forget Molly, Olli’s mum, together with his many smaller brothers and sisters.

As well as the Ormers there are also a collection of creatures of many different shapes and sizes. Winkles, limpets and an angry whelk all cling to the sides of the rockpool. An old hermit crab scuttles across the bottom of the pool, while several shrimps feed amongst the green weed near the pools surface.

A few small fish hide in the shade at the bottom of the pool and occasionally a bigger fish gets trapped as the tide drops. These are special moments for the inhabitants of the pool as they get to meet travellers from the big sea. It can be dangerous however if the big fish turns out to be hungry.

Look out for stories about Olli and his friends on this site and when you visit Guernsey


Weird

Cornholio
05-12-2005, 11:22 AM
Thank god there isn't an "angry winkle."

Z
12-25-2005, 11:04 PM
I need more Whelk in my life. Seriously.

AKA
05-22-2006, 04:59 AM
i just wanted to add that gflademaster is the worst poster in the history of the internet.

stump832
12-18-2008, 04:09 AM
I'm bumping a classic because I've got about 24 hours left in what has been a 3 week stay in Shinjuku for school/work. The worst part about the trip was wanting to yell Shinjuku Motherfuckers! every time we swiped our passmo at the JR line's turnstiles - sadly, no one would have gotten the reference.

Angry Whelk
04-09-2013, 05:10 PM
:mad:
bump

The Suit
04-12-2013, 08:32 AM
This thread has gotten better with age.

glademaster
06-09-2014, 03:26 PM
I don't think my apathetic HS environmental group ever did get around to making shirts, but wow, I just read through this thread for the first time in 9+ years. I feel it may have been my greatest contribution to TGR.

systemoverblow'd
06-09-2014, 05:35 PM
I used to have mad Flash developer steeze. Angry Whelk the animated series on www.angrywhelk.com a possibility?

This thread is awesome. I will offer my decade late assistance in animating if anyone wants to put the time in for storyboarding and designing. That would be funny shit.

But I assume the funnies may be lost to spontaneity.

Core Shot
04-11-2018, 05:37 AM
Why are all the whelk images broken?

Does anyone have them archived?

nutmegchoi
04-11-2018, 05:45 AM
Tagging to help out mags with future issues.

Core Shot
04-11-2018, 08:29 PM
Way back machine did not Hoover the thread until 2014.
Missed most of the pics.
http://web.archive.org/web/20140718024810/https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php/17680-Graphics-Design-and-Aritistic-Mags-Help

232034

232035

And cafepress no longer has shinjuku stylee shirts
http://web.archive.org/web/20041205012101/http://www.cafepress.com:80/angrywhelk

glademaster
04-12-2018, 06:45 AM
It's a shame that most of that is gone. Well shit, I guess that is one of the first signs I'm getting older.

ACH
04-12-2018, 08:20 AM
Awesome!
Was this thread the genesis of Angry Whelk?

glademaster
04-13-2018, 06:59 AM
It sure was, although I can only take responsibility for the thread, somebody else concocted the Whelk. I'm a little disappointed I never tagged anything at my high school with a Whelk sticker, it certainly would have been a fitting tribute.

Danno
04-13-2018, 12:58 PM
I've seen the whelk many times over the years, and Shinjuku Motherfucker! But had never read this thread until today.

Crazy how long ago this was, I was just a very occasional lurker I think, didn't sign up until a year later. There was a reference in the thread to Bush; this thread was started in his first term!!!

3306
05-22-2020, 02:45 AM
Your designs are works of art, if you could buy at an auction, I would love to take everything, can we talk about culture and the beautiful?

Core Shot
05-22-2020, 10:35 AM
Your designs are works of art, if you could buy at an auction, I would love to take everything, can we talk about culture and the beautiful?

Yes. Shinjuku mother fucker
We go bukakke on your cracker ass.
You are drowned.

splat
05-24-2020, 12:09 PM
Bring back the bukkake!!!

Core Shot
05-24-2020, 05:12 PM
these are the best ones i can make with limited time. i like the store front and the poem the best. you can mail me the six pack.

http://www.edinboro.com/business/earthshine.jpg

http://ewancient.lysator.liu.se/pic/art/d/r/drewry2/earthshineweb.jpg

http://www.cix.co.uk/~starling/altview.gif


How about a giant whelk, maybe about the size of a dumpster, tearing through the streets of Tokyo killing screaming humans with its hideous trail of snot. As the people run into shot, they could be wearing special 'Earthshine' promotional hats, much like the paper hats they used to wear at Wendy's.

The whelk has to look seriously pissed though.


..........


That whelk looks like a rampaging maelstrom of hate, carving an apocalyptic swathe through the consumer electronics retailing district of Shinjuku, devastating the gross national product of Japan in a horrific scene of bukkake destruction. He embodies what I come to think of as the very essence of Earthshine.


Laurence Welk will rise again after the mollusk bukkake incident! mark my words basom, mark my words.


if you don't bring angry bukkake whelk up as a possibility to your school group i will be personaly insulted. do you realize how much time i put into this for you? Thats the last time i do you any favours, unless you put it on the list of options. thats all i;m asking. imho he is the perfect logo/spokesman for your cause, that is plain enough.

Basom. What the fuck happened to the whelk birth daddy?
I forgot he birthed the whelk. With some encouragement from Roo


Bad roo. Set a limit and timed himself out. Great discipline

Fuck this place made my cubicle years tolerable.

old_newguy
08-27-2020, 12:14 PM
DONT FUCK WITH EARTHSHINE, CRACKERS!

..................

Speedfreak
10-29-2020, 10:24 PM
Peasants sleeping silently
Whelk arises in Hiroshimatic horror
SHINJUKU, MOTHERFUCKERS!

Almost forgot how amazing this thread was.

Rideski
10-29-2020, 11:48 PM
I posted a whelk image in the Ratflu thread and nobody commented.
I was a bit verklempt