TR: Cougar Hunting in ASSPEN: My First Night Experience....just call me T.J. Burke

[Raps]

So as most of you know, i moved from Denver to Aspen this past weekend.......and as you may recall, my first night when i moved to Denver from NYC was pretty memorable with my female roommate......well my first night in Aspen has that beat by a long shot......

Here goes:
So last week i came to Aspen to see if i could pull off a mid-winter move out here. I lucked out and found bedroom available in a condo at the base of the mountain with access to a sweet hot tub and pool. My roommate it turns out is a 44 year old cougar who is very hot and loves to party. She acts like she is 25 and used to be a professional jet ski racer.......i packed up my bags in Denver and drove up on Saturday to move into the place. However, she said the maid haden't come yet to clean my room so i would have to wait till Sunday to move in. No problem i said i can crash at my friends place and i'll see you tomorrow. She then tells me that its her 44th birthday and a few of her friends are partying so i should drop by.

What the hell i thought, so i picked up a case of beer and walked to her (my new) place. I walked in the door to the scene of about 10 hot cougars dancing in the living room, passing around a bottle of goose. They all yell at me - "hey its the new roomie, come take a pull". So i take a pull and one of the chicks starts making out with me.......not a bad way to start the night......i figure damn i picked a good place to live.

So the night continues and we start getting real drunk. A few of the ladies start to make out with each other and take their clothes off......then they start sucking each others tits......damn where the hell am i living i thought...... But the ratio was definitely in my favor - about 10 chicks and 3 dudes.....the chicks ranged in age from 22 to 46 so i start hitting on some hot 22 year old South Africa chick but when we got to a bar later on, the oldest of the bunch starts chattin me up and invites me onto the dance floor.......so i start dancin like its 1985 an she is diggin me. 2 bars latter and a bunch of shots, she starts talkin dirty. She wispers in my ear a few questions....."do you like to eat pussy?" "Have you ever been with a 46 year old?" To those i answer, "give me a fork and knife and i will eat it all night" and "No i haven't but i would love to put my 24 year old cock in you"..........

So we head out soon after that and head back to "my" place which i have still not moved into. We walk into the door and my roommate is there and shes like woohooo are you guys gonna fuck or what! So we go into "my" room which doesn't have any sheets or anything in it and we go at it. Oh and i forgot to mention she is 46, super in shape with big fake titties..... She starts screamin and talkin all dirty - then she starts making cougar noises and scratching me, telling me shes my cougar and i'm her naughty little boy........we had a solid 2 hour rail session and damn she taught me some moves.

When i woke up i was like damn where am i........then i looked over and saw this 46 year old woman smiling at me.......we did it again and then she left to wait for a furnature delivery at her house.......she said she wanted to "play" again sometime....then i had to go get my truck and move stuff into my new room which i had just christened.....my roomate thought it was great.....god damn i love this town......


Oh so then i finally move in and get settled and who comes over for a drink last night......my 46 year old cougar friend.........so we had a little more fun......

So now i guess i have a cougar to booty call after just 3 days living in this town.......hot damn did i make the right move......i kind of feel like T.J. Burke with Brice Kellogg.....:D


Oh and yea yea yea no pics but i will work on it.........;)

[BLOOD SWEAT STEEL]

WOW.

Jackpot!

[The Reverend Floater]

.......so i start dancin like its 1985 an she is diggin me.

Did anyone else laugh hysterically at this?



....."do you like to eat pussy?" "Have you ever been with a 46 year old?" To those i answer, "give me a fork and knife and i will eat it all night" and "No i haven't but i would love to put my 24 year old cock in you"..........




Dear Diary: Jackpot. [/Glen Quagmire]

Awesome, Raps. I fuckin' love it.

[MrZach]

POTD! Facking Awesome! This almost deserves a running weekly update.

Edit:
22 vs. 44. Damn. DAMN! There has got to be a phrase for that: "The cradle IS the robber!" maybe? ;)

[f2f]

let me be the first to call bullshit. my bullshit will last until you've provided photographic material of said cougars. no action shots, please. :D

[Rontele]

I thought you were just typing out of a Penthouse forum

WAY TO FUCKING GO, RAPS!

[Tap]

sounds like you are in for one hell of a pussy filled winter.

jeezus....jackpot is right. just keep it wrapped up.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

I was about to say that the rest of us Aspen mags should roll out a welcome wagon for you, but I don't know if any of us could top that. Nice work and welcome to town(and ditto on keeping it wrapped up).

[MakersTeleMark]

Welcome to Aspen. Now go find their daughters too.

[Raps]

Haha thanks fellas, i have been walking around with a huge smile on my face for the last couple days......

f2f.......i've been around this board too long to make up shit like this........and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand......i will work on pics though, shes a kinky one........:D

And Zach, its 24 vs. 46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......she moved to this town before i was born ;)

Edit: Yes i did wrap it up!

[Woodsy]

fricken told you you would like Aspen.
thats awesome.
What I learned living in Aspen
How to ski bumps
&
Best thing about older women is they know what they want, they will ask for it, and they are not shy nor embarrassed about it....

[snowswine]

Good god what a fucking story, way to go. If it turns out she is married to some rich old guy make sure you take his finest bottle of liquor just and leave a little thank you note.

[P_McPoser]

You should have moved to Aspen when I was single....Not that I was really on a bad luck streak, heh.

[cinnepa]

:eek::biggrin::eek::biggrin:

[f2f]

f2f.......i've been around this board too long to make up shit like this........and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand......i will work on pics though, shes a kinky one........:D


my comment was good natured, raps. i don't want to call you out, simply asking for pictures. :)

[Raps]

my comment was good natured, raps. i don't want to call you out, simply asking for pictures. :)

Haha gotcha......i will put my camera on my nightstand so if we get busy again i can knock it over and say "oooo look i left my camera out! Why don't you show me that pretty smile........" :D

[rideit]

Get em' all to join the Forum.
Could be some good fun...

[Marv Albert]

Yessss!!!!!!

[Benny Profane]

Yeah, but deep down, when the lights are out and the party is over, dont'cha just really want just a little love and cuddling?

I'll be the first to say, where are the fucking pix?

[LT]

We might need a Sticky titled " Raps winter in Aspen." :biggrin:

[Jax]

used to be a professional jet ski racer.......

ROTFLMAO. This is worth repeating. Too 'effin funny. What were jet skis like 26 years ago anyway? ;)

Way to go!

[squatch]

So what you're saying is I should visit?

[MrZach]

And Zach, its 24 vs. 46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......she moved to this town before i was born ;)

Oops, sorry for the typo ;).


Yeah, but deep down, when the lights are out and the party is over, dont'cha just really want just a little love and cuddling?

I'll be the first to say, where are the fucking pix?

You still sleep with your teddy, don't you? ;)

Heh - if you ever hear one of those cougars mutter "You've done enough pre-heating, its time to put in the roast", you know you're in good then.

Quote credit: from Redkal regarding his own weekend encounter, granted, that was more of a traditional "cradle robbing", not a "cradle doin' the robbing" story. :fmicon:

[Jax]

46 so same age difference but yeah its a big gap.......


:fmicon:

[Raps]

Oh and i forgot to add........i just learned last night that she is also a belly dance instructor.......ZING!


Thanks for all the comments folks, i'm pretty stoked on life right now.....oh and i am not working at surefoot in snowmass anymore.....switched gigs to a shop right down the street - Incline at the base of the Gondi if any of you are in the area stop by and say hi......and yeah squatch, come on up!


And woodsy you are right on........these older women don't play games, they know what they want!

[schindlerpiste]

SCHWING!!!

Good on ya. I would love to be a fly, with binoculars, on the wall of your humble abode!

[timvwcom]

SCHWING!!!

Good on ya. I would love to be a fly, with binoculars, on the wall of your humble abode!

Isn't that what web cams are for??? [/hint]

[supermodel159]

Cougars generally only come out at night, so bring your flash when the said cougar appears for another round.

[Steven S. Dallas]

Strong work Raps! You should work your fashion industry angle next- tell them you'll make them famous. Or at least that you can get them all the buttons their horny little hearts desire.

You should have moved to Aspen when I was single.... I think he'll probably just stick with women for now.

[tele.savalas]

congratulations. you sir, are my new Hero. :D

[MrZach]

SCHWING!!!

Good on ya. I would love to be a fly, with binoculars, on the wall of your humble abode!


Isn't that what web cams are for??? [/hint]

I want absolutely no visual hint - EVAR - of Raps teabagging (or anything with his drawers down for that matter). This thread suits me just fine. :biggrin:

[hev]

Nicely done raps. You seem to be settling in quickly. I'll be around soon enough.

[Lonnie]

Haha gotcha......i will put my camera on my nightstand so if we get busy again i can knock it over and say "oooo look i left my camera out! Why don't you show me that pretty smile........" :D


Isn't that what web cams are for??? [/hint]

I have a video "spycam" that I will donate to the cause. All you need is a camcorder or VCR to plug in the rca video out and 2 9v batteries. It's smaller than the size of a tin of carmex. (http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/30/9a/pr-Sunscreen-Carmex_Lip_Balm-resized200.jpg) Only bummer is no sound. It will transmit up to 200'... :D

edit: This is the one.
http://cgi.ebay.com/Wireless-Pinhole-Spy-Camera-Hidden-Spycam-Nanny-Cam-t08_W0QQitemZ180206161935QQihZ008QQcategoryZ48632Q QssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

http://i7.ebayimg.com/05/i/000/9d/35/f01c_10.JPG

[ptavv]

Nice work bud.

[encore]

God damn! Nice work?

Now, when are you going to hook up the orgy with the other cougars?

[bio-smear]

If I was single I'd be coming out to visit you and meet your new friends.

[ak_powder_monkey]

I'd reccomend a 3 some

[Benny Profane]

I guess in the spring you can steal your daddy's cue and make a living out of playing pool or find yourself a rock and roll band that needs a helping hand.

[MrZach]

I'd reccomend a 3 some

16QSYESBuRU

[timvwcom]

I'd reccomend a 3 some

Better to find a way to get HER to recommend the 3rd... Maybe ask her if her friends are as sexy as she is??? (But sounds like you'd know them in this situation, damn?) Any other lurking maggettes have suggestions on that for this young man?

Also... don't get yourself branded as only "her" boy toy. Just in case you tire of her, before she tires of you... And absopositively find a way to end it amicably so as to not taint what sounds like a gold mine.

Lastly, careful... Don't let some 40's MILFs hurt a young guy like you. If the chaffing from overuse turns to bleeding, take a day or two off!!! :fmicon: (And get a bottle of good lube!)

[Moose Pit]

God dam!:yourock:

Keep livin' the dream and definitely find out if there are any kittens in the cougars den (if you find 'em just remember cougars can be vicious if they feel there territory is being invaded by kittens especially if they are related).

[YourSupremeExcellency]

I would love to be a fly, with binoculars, on the wall of your humble abode!

Dude fuck that, I'd rather be the guy banging the chick.

[ill-advised strategy]

this thread is worthless w/o pics

[BigDaddy]

Okay... that beat the shit out of Phill's "shake, bump and grind" thread...

[4matic]

Have fun but have an exit plan and protect yourself at all times. Do not pay rent in advance!

[Raps]

Thanks for the advice guys
A. I will work on pics and
B. I will go for a 3some....she did say she likes messin around with chicks...I mean she was the one suckin some chicks tits in the kitchen that night and.....
C. I will not devote all my time to cougars since yes there are some mighty fine kittens in town too......and after all I am 24....

[StoneCold]

and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand...

Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I need an invite to that party.

[timvwcom]

...and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand...


Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and say that I need an invite to that party.

I'd say "Aspen Summit" Y'all... Heh. :D

[mr_gyptian]

this belongs in the "Tonghands Room".

[Core Shot]

Epic TR.
Well done Raps. :yourock:

[FrankZappa]

This is good and all, but set your standards higher, man. It's been a couple days, you're in A$$$$$$$$$$$$PEN. You should have some new skis ta boot by now. If you work this right, I see you leavin town in the spring in a really nice ride.

[Franz]

dude when you called me on sunday to give details of this, not gonna lie one of the first thoughts was "wonder when hes gonna tell the board"-brandon was shitting himself the entire ride back
once again mad props, tell your cougar i'll be coming up in about 4 weeks and would like a cougar or kitten on the rocks please.

[marshalolson]

RAPS for PRESIDENT.

fkna my man! just wow.

[kush1]

dude i hope this is her!
http://www.bellydanceclasses.net/united-states/colorado/aspen/


edit: I am thinking a road trip to the aspen comp is in order....

[Tippster]

FKNA, Raps! can't wait for the pic (clothed is fine.)

[Arty50]

dude i hope this is her!
http://www.bellydanceclasses.net/united-states/colorado/aspen/

If so...NIIIIIICEEEEE

[pheenster]

dude i hope this is her!
http://www.bellydanceclasses.net/united-states/colorado/aspen/


edit: I am thinking a road trip to the aspen comp is in order....

That page is getting more hits today than its entire previous existence combined.

[frozenwater]

I'm not the only one that called the number on that add and asked if she had been seeing my son, right?

[scarlet begonias]

I'd like to be the first female to give you a big thumbs up! Pretty damn impressive even from our point of view. ;)

[InspectorGadget]

I'd like to be the first female to give you a big thumbs up! Pretty damn impressive even from our point of view. ;)Very sporting of bumpskier, and her other personalities, to offer their approval.

[Elle Be]

That's some story, Raps. Funny to read what it's like for the guy on your side. My (girl) friends side, I know well. Nice to read that you've still got the smile on your face :)

[raddam]

fricken told you you would like Aspen.
thats awesome.
What I learned living in Aspen
How to ski bumps
&
Best thing about older women is they know what they want, they will ask for it, and they are not shy nor embarrassed about it....


Take his advice Raps
you would of love to see good ol Dday strutting his cougar-ness dressed up like Grimace

Nice work neighbor
we need a POV headcam for pictures, sounds like she is up for it

[Aenigma]

Wow, you have it MADE!

[FJ62]

Amazing, simply amazing... Props to you.

Damn I miss being < 30. Those were good times (though never quite as good as your story).

[Poop~Ghost]

damn raps - aspen was the RIGHT move. So make this the winter of the cougar!!!! and you should probably expect a PM from skidog who will be questioning your interest in Diane Lane vs. Christy Brinkley.

:-)

[acostiga]

barilla boy ----> barilla man!

[Skipig25]

she's old enough to be your MOM:eek:

nice job:yourock:

[GBB]

you certainly lived up to your sig.

i think i need to do some studying of cougars in the wild this weekend...

[fool]

and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand......i will work on pics though, shes a kinky one........:D



I'll come visit you and be an "Aspen mag" for a few days to do some cougar hunting...:cool:

[divegirl]

Wow - I have to also put in my thumbs up for you, dude. What a story! Like they said, wrap it up...
I'm also interested in what comes of the 3-some. I expect pics. But that's the voyeur in me talking. Oh wait!!! Not of the 3-some, just of the woman. In clothes. Yes, in clothes. Of course.

[Woodsy]

.....
C. I will not devote all my time to cougars since yes there are some mighty fine kittens in town too......and after all I am 24....
dude,
its Aspen.
just like you apprecaiate the big pow days when they come, you dont go out and buy rockered superfatties.....
enjoy the blue skies, hi altitude spring tours, and cougars.
you want kittens and constant blower, move to UT.

[FFsup]

GREAT work!!:yourock:

[Right Coaster]

and to any Aspen mags i think we are having a party this weekend if anyone would like to come see the cougar den first hand

Jesus - I'd book a flight just for that!

A skier falling ass backwards into a pile of cougar booty in Aspen - wasn't there a movie made about this?

Happy hunting Raps. Keep on killin' it this winter!

[stayalert]

2 words.....Health Insurance:D

[road trip]

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

[scarlet begonias]

Very sporting of bumpskier, and her other personalities, to offer their approval.

Just one personality today. No aliases (or voices in my head) for me :D...obviously didn't proof read my 1st post.

One more vote for wrapping it up, and more info on the three some.

[Viva]

Raps, always have some clean sheets handy. The ladies appreciate that.

[grskier]

I roll out the welcome mat and no call to join in the cougar fest!!? More than likely we'll be around this weekend.... I'll give you a call or stop buy the shop.

[Binky]

Whoa!!! as said before, this needs a sticky.

When are they releasing Aspen II the sequel?

[Raps]

Ok yeah so I just woke up with her in my bed again........but this time I have pictures......

However I am going to be a tease since I am runnin out the door to go skiing.....so yeah I will be back at the end of the day to give u all some visuals....clothed of course (for now)...

But thanks for all the support, damn I love you guys....see some of you at the gondola to rip up these few inches of fresh woohooo!

[mnflyfish]

Raps,

Very cool TR. Congrats and welcome to your new home. Oh, to be 10 or so years younger...

Jay

[Trashcan]

Dude, Your going to make me wait in my fucking cubicle to see pics while you go skiing??? Wheres the love?

PS - this should be an entertaining winter for you. :biggrin:

[Tourette Dude]

Best thing about older women is they know what they want, they will ask for it, and they are not shy nor embarrassed about it....

+837

......

[warthog]

So Aspen Sucks, eh?

Good move.

[Skidog]

damn raps - aspen was the RIGHT move. So make this the winter of the cougar!!!! and you should probably expect a PM from skidog who will be questioning your interest in Diane Lane vs. Christy Brinkley.

:-)

Damn dude..I still think you're gay if you don't like Daine Lane OR Christie Brinkley....

M

[Poop~Ghost]

what if IS Diane Lane and Raps just doesn't know it becuase he's 24?!

Raps, you better check that drivers lisence because if she's claiming 44, she could be 54.

Vote +1 for not wrapping it. Let the boy run free!

[s.p.c]

it's your new york accent Raps... shit is like a cougar call from the jungle.

[Jax]

I'd like to be the first female to give you a big thumbs up!

More like the second. ;)



If you work this right, I see you leavin town in the spring in a really nice ride.

Upgrade the Land Rover! He's right, M. You'd look good in a RR Sport or D90 :tongue:

Work it!! Sugar Momma. Sweet!

[Stu Gotz]

c'mon. Has anyone actually been to a party where women take their shirts off and nibble on each other's boobies.

That stuff doesn't even happen at MD9's halloween fiestas.

[supermodel159]

Ok yeah so I just woke up with her in my bed again........but this time I have pictures......

However I am going to be a tease since I am runnin out the door to go skiing.....so yeah I will be back at the end of the day to give u all some visuals....clothed of course (for now)...

But thanks for all the support, damn I love you guys....see some of you at the gondola to rip up these few inches of fresh woohooo!

Any other facts we should know:

Kids?
How many times has she been married?

[pappag]

Vote +1 for not wrapping it. Let the boy run free!
+2

She's just gonna make you take it off anyway ... they all do.

[philippeR]

+2

She's just gonna make you take it off anyway ... they all do.

That strikes me as a very, very, bad idea.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

That strikes me as a very, very, bad idea.

Maybe he owns stock in a company that makes VD treatments.

[pappag]

That strikes me as a very, very, bad idea.

If one plans on naming a thread as such, then WWTJBD? should be the credo.

And I'm sure he's already rawdawged it.

[philippeR]

Ok

WWTJBD isn't defined yet (http://www.urbandictionary.com/insert.php?word=WWTJBD).

Please translate, I'm french.

Edit : Never mind, I'm french and slow, but I got it...

[Sphinx15]

Wow - my new hero and bump for a more-than-worthy thread! :yourock:

[timvwcom]

...I will go for a 3some....she did say she likes messin around with chicks...I mean she was the one suckin some chicks tits in the kitchen that night and...

You will "go for a 3some..." :nonono2: Dude, she has it literally teed up for you already, all you've got to do is swing the fucking club - knowhatimean?

If she hasn't already set something up on this, and you end up needing to lead the way... maybe try the "tell me about your fantasy's" route? If she doesn't go there, she's bound to ask you about yours; bingo! :yourock: :yourock: :yourock:

[NashBoarder]

Jealousy's a bitch. Way to go Raps!!!! Never been more excited for the Aspen lifts to close.

[Shredhead]

What were jet skis like 26 years ago anyway?

They were stand up and they actually took some skill to ride.

[ckelly49]

wow. just wow. best report ever. ever.

don't get too wrapt up in it though, lest you find your best friend running down the street naked in a drug addled stupor.

[stayalert]

I always wondered where all of the jet ski racer belly dancers ended up. Thanks for clearing that up.

[Skidog]

wheres the pics?

M

[phUnk]

"oooo look i left my camera out! Why don't you show me that pretty smile........" :D

Thread Subscribed.

[cramer]

Great TR, looking forward to the pics.

[Boomer28]

Here's to this future hall 'o fame thread.

So did you tell her your internet freinds have now adopted you as their lord and savior?

[tex1230]

:biggrin::biggrin:All hail mighty Raps!:biggrin::biggrin:

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Don't post pictures! She is bound to find this thread and then you might be fucked and get kicked out! Especially if you post pictures. So whatever you do do not post pictures especially not naked ones. All here would agree for your safety NOT to post pictures of ANY KIND! We don't want them! We want you to be safe and not get kicked out and ostrasized in Aspen.


(fuck all you guys :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:)

[Trashcan]

Don't post pictures! She is bound to find this thread and then you might be fucked and get kicked out! Especially if you post pictures. So whatever you do do not post pictures especially not naked ones. All here would agree for your safety NOT to post pictures of ANY KIND! We don't want them! We want you to be safe and not get kicked out and ostrasized in Aspen.


(fuck all you guys :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:)

Hey, who made you boss of the sand box?

[CountryFunk]

Not that it's any of my god damn business, but I gotta weigh in on the side of not posting pictures - for now at least. Sharing with your bros is one thing, shooting yourself in the ass and fucking up a good thing is another.

Wait 'til the summer to post the pics - from the sound of there will be plenty of potential photographers, and she might not be able to remember which guy she was with when the pics were taken.

That would be a FUCKWIN-FUCKWIN situation ...

[cramer]

Don't post pictures! She is bound to find this thread and then you might be fucked and get kicked out! Especially if you post pictures. So whatever you do do not post pictures especially not naked ones. All here would agree for your safety NOT to post pictures of ANY KIND! We don't want them! We want you to be safe and not get kicked out and ostrasized in Aspen.


(fuck all you guys :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:)


she's 46 and he asked her for a picture. My money says he told her "my buddies all want to see a pic". I guarantee she is turned on by the fact she' s shagging a 24 year old and he's proud enough to show off his new trophy. She was sucking titties in front of 15 people, you think she cares about a pic with her clothes on being posted on the internet.

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Oh also, congratulations on your new case of genital herpes. I hope you and your new love affair with Valtrex have a long and happy life together.

[f2f]

goddamit! four pages and not a single McLovin reference?

[Art Shirk]

Not that it's any of my god damn business, but I gotta weigh in on the side of not posting pictures - for now at least. Sharing with your bros is one thing, shooting yourself in the ass and fucking up a good thing is another.

Wait 'til the summer to post the pics - from the sound of there will be plenty of potential photographers, and she might not be able to remember which guy she was with when the pics were taken.

That would be a FUCKWIN-FUCKWIN situation ...

Shut your word ditch.

[CountryFunk]

She was sucking titties in front of 15 people, you think she cares about a pic with her clothes on being posted on the internet.[/QUOTE]

Does ANYBODY care about a picture of her with her clothes on? :D

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Well it sounds like it is settled, WE DON'T WANT YOUR PICS!

[cramer]

Does ANYBODY care about a picture of her with her clothes on?

good point, we could only hope for a TR of the tittie sucking. :biggrin:

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Btw dude, ski resort towns have the highest rates of STDs in the world because of chicks like that. Ski towns like Aspen and Whistler make South Beach and San Francisco look like convents.

[Trashcan]

Oh also, congratulations on your new case of genital herpes. I hope you and your new love affair with Valtrex have a long and happy life together.

Heh, once your pecker falls off it's a non-issue.:eek::D

[TNKen]

Just wait until he rolls in from skiing/partying late one night to find his new sweetness coming out of the bedroom with this 60 yo 5'5" pot-bellied fat-bastard looking guy dripping sweat from the pores on his round bald head.

At which point, all the newness will immediately fade away.

[Jax]

They were stand up and they actually took some skill to ride.

Yeah, the ones I rode up to 17 years ago were stand-up, but man were they basic. I can't imagine what they were like 9 years prior to the ones we had.

I guess that explains her, um, leg skills? :D

[MOHSHSIHd]

Dude, I need a place to crash on 1/26 for the Powder Awards. I can supply booze and another 24 year old cock for any other cougars looking to play....

[Pow4Brains]

This thread is Da Bomb! Pix ARE needed.

[road trip]

...and another 24 year old cock for any other cougars looking to play....

where you getting that from?

[Viva]

Yeah, the ones I rode up to 17 years ago were stand-up, but man were they basic.

Oh snap! You're talking about those jet skis again! Never mind...carry on...

[funkendrenchman]

I'm thinking you need a webcam set up in your room... well, as long as guys are invisible to the webcam.

Oh yea, and if I come to a party this weekend, I'm sure as hell bringing my camera.

[Greguar]

RAPS has hit the jackpot!!! Sounds like a fun ass hot tub for apres!

[Woolph]

Raps,

Top notch first night. I worked a new years party a few blocks from your new place that was prime cougar hunting grounds. No tities being suckled but a nice display of well done after market parts. Sounds like they are here for the winter. Keep up the good work.


Btw dude, ski resort towns have the highest rates of STDs in the world because of chicks like that. Ski towns like Aspen and Whistler make South Beach and San Francisco look like convents.


Well it sounds like it is settled, WE DON'T WANT YOUR PICS!


Oh also, congratulations on your new case of genital herpes. I hope you and your new love affair with Valtrex have a long and happy life together.

Jeez buddy, jealous much.

[timvwcom]

Just wait until he rolls in from skiing/partying late one night to find his new sweetness coming out of the bedroom with this 60 yo 5'5" pot-bellied fat-bastard looking guy dripping sweat from the pores on his round bald head...

Ohhh... I get it, you are headed to Aspen!!! :the_finge :D

[Crinkle]

wow, congrats on the move raps, i just did the abbreviated version of this thread, no cliff notes yet.

But seriously, what did I tell you when I first met you out here about pics??? ;)

This guy made the move and definitely hit the jackpot of life, deep snow, fake tits and hot cougars. Write the book, "A maggots how to guide to live the dream"

[timvwcom]

...Write the book, "A maggots how to guide to live the dream"

Sounds like it would go like this; "When you are 24, move to Aspen and rent a room from a hot 44 year old. The end." :D

[SuperChief]

I think you already blew it, her 15 year old son probably surfs TGR and is wondering if it's his belly dancing slut of a mom that this guy is braggin about shaggin. She'll probably know by the end of the week, and you'll be lucky to find a suitable rag to spend your load in.

[warthog]

c'mon. Has anyone actually been to a party where women take their shirts off and nibble on each other's boobies.



Yes. They are fun.


Raps- I still think you blew it. Just imagine the tail you WOULDA been pulling if you had moved into the trailer park. Next time buddy, next time.

[Viva]

c'mon. Has anyone actually been to a party where women take their shirts off and nibble on each other's boobies.

Well, there was this one time at Warthog's family reunion...

[The Dad]

c'mon. Has anyone actually been to a party where women take their shirts off and nibble on each other's boobies.

Been to? 15 or 20 years ago, I used to host them.

As a voice of reason, though... don't take pics without consent.

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Well, there was this one time at Warthog's family reunion...

Ahhhh, nothing like those good ole Kentucky family reunions.

[ckelly49]

RAPS has hit the jackpot!!! Sounds like a fun ass hot tub for SEX!


fixed....

[Raps]

Hmmm all these posts are making me second guess posting up pictures.....I mean it would be a coincidence and a half if an ex of hers etc...was on this board but then that would really screw me over.....she knew I was taking pictures of her and I told her I would prob show some friends but its a lot diff to post up for the whole internet to see....hmmm

[Binky]

What is rule #76 again Mr. RAPS?

[Tippster]

FUCK THAT - POST HER PIC!

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Haha! See what I singlehandedly did! Haha. Everyone thank me :)

[Woodlandclown]

she seems pretty confident and comfortable with her sexuality. I bet if you asked her if you could take pictures, she would be more than willing and would actually pose for them, making the 5 pages of discussion about it moot.

[timvwcom]

Hmmm all these posts are making me second guess posting up pictures.....I mean it would be a coincidence and a half if an ex of hers etc...was on this board but then that would really screw me over.....she knew I was taking pictures of her and I told her I would prob show some friends but its a lot diff to post up for the whole internet to see....hmmm

Does TGR have some kind of mass PM-ing system? If not, invent the damn thing already!!!

(Edit: Could this work? (I want to see the pics!) Embed the pic in a MS Word doc or whatever, then password protect the document with a code word (like change for a "_____") that is not in this thread... then post up the doc or a link to it??? Can this be done, anyone?)

[YourSupremeExcellency]

You have made the good morally correct decision Raps, I am proud of you.

(fuck you all :biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: )

[Viva]

Photoshop out her face, after all, it her bazongas we're really interested in.

[RootSkier]

Photoshop out her face, after all, it her bazongas we're really interested in.

Game. Set. Match.


We'll check for herpes, too.

[gg8983]

FUCK THAT - POST HER PIC!

Seconded. Post that shit up here. They arent neekid..yet,

[Rontele]

Raps,

Is her name Sharon?

[ill-advised strategy]

sharon cox?

[Huckwheat]

Hmmm all these posts are making me second guess posting up pictures.....I mean it would be a coincidence and a half if an ex of hers etc...was on this board but then that would really screw me over.....she knew I was taking pictures of her and I told her I would prob show some friends but its a lot diff to post up for the whole internet to see....hmmm

She does live in a ski town.....one thing if she was a girl from the office.

Hate to even say this, but I agree with Supremewhatever. Plus, if you get on your roommates shitlist....she wont recommend you to other friends. This cougar could be the first of many.

You can PM me the pic, for giving such great advice though. :)

[The Dad]

Or Sharon Fluids?

[ill-advised strategy]

"this thread is worthless without pics" can be just a hilarious interweb cliche sometimes. I wouldn't rock this boat if I were you.

of course, you know....this thread is completely worthless...

[Pow4Brains]

she seems pretty confident and comfortable with her sexuality. I bet if you asked her if you could take pictures, she would be more than willing and would actually pose for them, making the 5 pages of discussion about it moot.

This will work.

[squatch]

Hmmm all these posts are making me second guess posting up pictures.....I mean it would be a coincidence and a half if an ex of hers etc...was on this board but then that would really screw me over.....she knew I was taking pictures of her and I told her I would prob show some friends but its a lot diff to post up for the whole internet to see....hmmm

you have my email.

[Raps]

Wow 7th page already....i am honored.....and now a poll......i am blushing


But yeah i have gotten some good advice from some of you NOT to post the pics, even if she is clothed - because obviously i have a good thing going on and i don't want anything to derail it.......plus my roommate just asked if its ok if two of her younger friends (22 and 23) come and party tonight.........:D:D Kitten time!

So sorry to get your hopes up but i'm sure deep down you understand why i am not doing it.......because i want to do it more - get it!


But i will keep these pics safe and sound and maybe in a few years i will find this thread and include some pics.....;)

I will keep you Aspen mags updated on the party situation but pretty much every day is a party in the cougar den.......oh and mark your calendars - there will be 8 women crashing at my pad on the 24th for a big belly up concert (forget the name of the group).......


And Rontele - her name is not Sharon.....

Edit: Oh and the skiing was pretty good today......cause thats why i moved here right ;)

[mr_gyptian]

Hmmm all these posts are making me second guess posting up pictures.....I mean it would be a coincidence and a half if an ex of hers etc...was on this board but then that would really screw me over.....she knew I was taking pictures of her and I told her I would prob show some friends but its a lot diff to post up for the whole internet to see....hmmm

Baby bull turned around and yelled back to the papa bull,

“Dad! DAAAAD! You’ve got to see this! It’s amazing, holy cow, it’s crazy! Come up here, fast! This is unbelievable!”

He was bouncing up and down, unable to contain himself. Papa bull walked knowingly up the hill and stood beside his hyper little baby bull, surveying an enormous fertile valley stretched out in front of them. Below, in the lush grass of the valley, were cows. Not just a few cows, but hundreds of cows. Baby bull thought there might be thousands, no, millions of cows, and all hot cows, too!

“Well, son, what do you think?” asked the papa bull.

“What do I think? What do I THINK?!” Shouted baby bull, jumping up and down. “I think it’s rad! Look at all those cows, dad! Look at them all! There’s brown ones, and black ones, and I think I even see some of those cream-colored ones I’ve heard about from the guys at school! This is too cool!”

He could hardly contain himself. He’d never seen this many cows in one place, and such variety! Suddenly, he stopped cold. His eyes scanned the valley, from one side to the other, back and forth. Papa bull watched him out of the corner of his eye, grinning knowingly to himself. Baby bull’s muscles were tense, his hair up on end. Finally, satisfied that there were far more cows than bulls, he began to jump around in circles again.

“Papa bull, papa bull,” he said excitedly, almost out of breath from all his hyper antics. “Let’s run down there and fuck one of ‘em!”

“No.” said papa bull, not the answer baby bull was expecting. He stopped and stared at the papa bull inquisitively.

“NO?!” he asked.

“No, son,” said papa bull, calmly. “Let’s WALK down there…and fuck them all.”

[YourSupremeExcellency]

Haha, you guys going to thank me now? :)

[timvwcom]

NO PICS = DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!

[Garrett]

post 155 is my fave post today.

[supermodel159]

I knew the tr was too good to be the truth!

[PNWbrit]

Just remember somewhere on a belly dancing bulletin board a group of women are demanding pictures of raps cock from the STD riddled bag he's shagging.

Shudder.

[Raps]

I knew the tr was too good to be the truth!

Haha no its the opposite - its all too true, thus the realization that i don't wanna screw things up for me in a small town......

But by now a few of my closer maggot friends have seen said pic and they can chime in.......but don't post it you guys!

[Crinkle]

someone doesn't want the well to dry up ;)

now your dick is actually doing some good thinking for you.

[squatch]

Jesus, dood. That is one very hot 46 year old. I would have pegged her at 35.

[ill-advised strategy]

it's not too late...

I know Dexter Rutecki, Karl Stall, and TJ Burke screen names are taken. but who won the powder 8's with TJ...who was it? you remember....








































































Todd Pounds giggity giggity

[StoneCold]

I will happily offer 3rd party confirmation of said cougar upon INVITATION TO THE FUCKING PARTY ! :biggrin:

[LegoSkier]

OK to save the camera for a while. Just work up to a *GG entry on voyeurweb.com and all will be good.

[Rontele]

I am still in awe that the clear gummy bear pulled that kind of tail.

[matanuskaski]

A++..Smart decision on keepin the pics for a while.. Gawd damn quite the story, one for the books.. Damn ski towns are amazing!!

[Buster Highmen]

“No, son,” said papa bull, calmly. “Let’s WALK down there…and fuck them all.”

Repeating the slogans from your break room?

[ill-advised strategy]

that's awesome buster


A+ !

[pappag]

Confirmation received.

Thumbs up.

Message deleted.

[Rontele]

I too have received confirmation.

Raps, you're lucky pechelman wasn't around that night or you'd have no good story to tell.

[timvwcom]

Raps just had a great idea... he just PM'd me that for Mag who sends him a PM pic of the tail they are boning; he'll reciprocate and send back one of the 46 yo hottie!!! NO LIE!!! [/total lie] :the_finge

[Tippster]

tippster at gee male dot commm

You best be sendin'....

Edit:


Raps just had a great idea... he just PM'd me that for Mag who sends him a PM pic of the tail they are boning; he'll reciprocate and send back one of the 46 yo hottie!!! NO LIE!!! [/total lie] :the_finge

Shit - that's easy... I'm married.

[backcountry1pr]

very solid work sir!

[Raps]

Alright folks, a few of you lucky mags (who i know and trust) have a present in their mailboxes and some of you have already chimed in to verify.......but i'm cutting it off at a few of you for obvious reasons......

[Huckwheat]

I am in a meeting right now, and listening to a 15 minute presentation on a new program, code name "Cougar". Lots of stuff making me laugh to myself, "Standard Cougar" vs "Premium Cougar". HA.

I look around and none of the other 10 people seem to think it is funny......but I wonder. :)

Guess unless you have experienced the coug, you dont understand. I had 32 and then 34 when I moved to Tahoe and was 23-24 range. Good stuff (Ironically, the 34 was also a former professional Jetskier.....NO SHIT!!!....traveled the country on a team in the early 80s).

[SuperChief]

Haha! See what I singlehandedly did! Haha. Everyone thank me :)

Common sense prevails, don't hurt yourself trying to pat yourself on the back.

[BigDaddy]

Damn,.... I thought common sense wasn't so common...


Well, nice to hear the few, the chosen, and the proud FDA inspectors approve.

[timvwcom]

Well... does that mean this thread is dead now? :fuckyou:

[Raps]

Well... does that mean this thread is dead now? :fuckyou:

Doesn't have to die.......I will continue to update it as new adventures happen.....the weekend is just around the corner ;)

[timvwcom]

Doesn't have to die.......I will continue to update it as new adventures happen.....the weekend is just around the corner ;)

Yeah, thanks... I guess. You can keep the "text (http://www.literotica.com/stories/toplists.php)" updates coming! Like that stuff isn't available anywhere else on the interwebs... Sigh...

(Edit: in an abundance of caution "Linky maybe NSFW")

[taoslcl]

Had to comment on this.....good work Raps! This is the best thing I have read on here for a long time. Makes me want to move to a ski town (thats not Taos) badly. I had a summer very similar to this in Orange County 5-6 yrs ago. Brings back memories.

I think we should have a cougar hunting competition thread. Well wait till about April to all post up pics of the cougars we have trapped over the winter and the winner for best cougar will win a free pair of Bros donated by Splat. Whos in?

[stompinlines]

This has got to be some sort of record.
6,000+ reads in 24 hours.

[RShea]

I am in a meeting right now, and listening to a 15 minute presentation on a new program, code name "Cougar". Lots of stuff making me laugh to myself, "Standard Cougar" vs "Premium Cougar". HA.

I look around and none of the other 10 people seem to think it is funny......but I wonder. :)

Guess unless you have experienced the coug, you dont understand. I had 32 and then 34 when I moved to Tahoe and was 23-24 range. Good stuff (Ironically, the 34 was also a former professional Jetskier.....NO SHIT!!!....traveled the country on a team in the early 80s).
So where is your Microsoft meeting anyway?

[Tippster]

It's a Feline - must be Apple.

[SuperChief]

It's a Feline - must be Apple.

Nope, just more proof microsoft hasn't ever had an original idea, ever.

[filthyfrenchbum]

Alright folks, a few of you lucky mags (who i know and trust) have a present in their mailboxes and some of you have already chimed in to verify.......but i'm cutting it off at a few of you for obvious reasons......

Ok now...You've made a thread about shagging this cougar and her hot friends you want to bone as well, on which everybody has commented with great enthusiasm. Let's say that if she found out about this thread, she probably would be REALLY pissed off or totally cool, especially since you said you were going to post pictures and such in the first place.

So, whether there are pictures in here or not won't make a difference anymore, if she finds the thread she will probably claw your nuts off, or get even more turned on, pictures included or not :D

My reasoning does not fail, whether you understand it or not. Post some pics now.

[skibuminwyo]

good god. way to go man.

[A-wreck]

You probably could be nailing all of her friends if you went down on her asshole the first night, cuz, you know, she'd tell all her friends how freaky you are.

[bagtagley]

I'm gonna call it. Cougar + a few more nights w/ Raps = possessive Sugar Momma. Better not let her catch you petting those kittens.

:D

[Jax]

Guess unless you have experienced the coug, you dont understand. I had 32 and then 34 when I moved to Tahoe and was 23-24 range. Good stuff (Ironically, the 34 was also a former professional Jetskier.....NO SHIT!!!....traveled the country on a team in the early 80s).

Since when is 34 'cougar'???

[gravitylover]

Or get her to pet those kittens with you :cool:

Nice job kiddo!

[WICS]

Raps-

nyc peeps say FUCKING GREAT WORK!

[Lone Star]

nice recovery on the pics thing once you had everyone's attention. best story since blurred and max convinced everyone max was a blurred alias. the unfinished saga of the one armed woman was a lot cooler, too, really.

[GapersGoHome]

This thread is a classic... Be careful, though, my friend... Once they get their claws in ya, it's tough to go back....









Ask me how I know.

[Tippster]

Nope, just more proof microsoft hasn't ever had an original idea, ever.That's just fucking sad. If you have to call it an animal name why not go with a different species?

[philippeR]

Alright folks, a few of you lucky mags (who i know and trust) have a present in their mailboxes and some of you have already chimed in to verify.......but i'm cutting it off at a few of you for obvious reasons......

You were my new hero. You failed.

http://www.bannedbanner.com/gallery/thread_sucks.jpg

[Viva]

I think we should have a cougar hunting competition thread. Well wait till about April to all post up pics of the cougars we have trapped over the winter and the winner for best cougar will win a free pair of Bros donated by Splat. Whos in?

At my age, this is not an attractive proposition.

[Skidog]

You probably could be nailing all of her friends if you went down on her asshole the first night, cuz, you know, she'd tell all her friends how freaky you are.

This is most certainly the case.

M

[Huckwheat]

Ask me how I know.

how do you know?

ok 34 maybe wasnt true cougar, but >10 years makes it close (when you are 23)

[Tuckerman]

Since when is 34 'cougar'???

sorry.....

[TNKen]

Hey Raps, see if her picture is in here.

NSFW www.cougarsinheat.com NSFW

[shirk]

This beats my Cougar hunting thread hands down.

But I still say you should toss up the pictures for a very short period of time.

[MOHSHSIHd]

If I end up staying with Raps we might get some interesting footage.


Cougars in HD!

[Raps]

Ok so the saga continues.......


This is kinda getting out of hand......since she is such good friends with my roomie, she is around a lot.....and now that we've hooked up a few times she is getting way too comfortable with me......here is my dilemma.....

We talked some more last night and i threw in a "whats the wildest thing you've done" comment to stir things up.......well damn she is a wild cougar......i mean there isn't much she HASN'T done.....she mentioned that she likes to get with women etc and do the whole group thing......yeah so that 3 some idea would be a fairly easy feat

BUT, now it seems like it is turning into a more regular thing, not just a oh i ran into this cougar again and we went at it. I mean i'm not gonna lie, i have been showing her a good time in the ol' bedroom so she keeps wanting more and is talkin about how we are so good together in bed.....she also has a ton of baggage....divorced and an ex boyfriend with a restraining order - i definitely don't want to get involved with that. Now she's asking for a ride to her belly dancing class this afternoon? WTF?

Do i cut it off before i get trapped or do i sack up and try to have some crazy 3 some....WWMD?

[pappag]

BWAAWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

[f2f]

CUT AND RUN!

[Rontele]

Do i cut it off before i get trapped or do i sack up and try to have some crazy 3 some....WWMD?

Just don't allow yourself to get trapped. Have a threesome, put it in her Brown Palace, then cut it off it gets too serial.

You've been given the key to the Cougar den. Sack up and slay that shit.

Edit to add: Ponder this, Raps. have you ever had a girl lick your nuts while another girl sucked your dick? If the answer is no, then I think you know the answer.

[4matic]

Cut bait. Tell her you just got out of a relationship and you're not ready for anything more than friends. "It's not you, it's me."

Think "Fatal Attraction" or "Play Misty for me"

I think you shot too soon.. Should have waited for a kitten.

[Woodsy]

i may be speaking from my history of having a hard time getting laid in Aspen when I lived there but def dont turn off the faucet. sheisnt looking for a bf, just dont be so available.

[shirk]

Don't cut bait...just set guidlines...let her know this isn't an exlusive thing. Do not run scared, stand your ground and you take control.

[Rontele]

Don't cut bait...just set guidlines...let her know this isn't an exlusive thing. Do not run scared, stand your ground and you take control.

I think the fact that she likes chicks and group sex indicates that exclusivity to her is verbotten.

[Raps]

i may be speaking from my history of having a hard time getting laid in Aspen when I lived there but def dont turn off the faucet. sheisnt looking for a bf, just dont be so available.

Good call - i think this route would be best.......i don't wanna completely break it off so maybe if she tries to sack up with me again in the next few days i will give it to her straight - i mean she doesn't want a bf either but it sure feels a little too close.......

[Raps]

I think the fact that she likes chicks and group sex indicates that exclusivity to her is verbotten.

True, she was talkin bout sex parties and shit.....i just want it to be like a once every couple weeks thing, not every couple days......

[Rontele]

if she tries to sack up with me again in the next few days i will give it to her straight

You realize in the context of this thread that this can mean two things? ;)

[pappag]

Next step is to bang one (or more) of her friends and let the competition over you begin.


You're their toy, they are talking about you, so take advantage of it.

[Rontele]

True, she was talkin bout sex parties and shit.....i just want it to be like a once every couple weeks thing, not every couple days......

My advice is that again, you have been given the keys to the Cougar den. You want to go these sex parties. You're young and in charge of the sitaution. So long as you are--gasp--sensitive to her needs and don't burn any bridges, but still allow yourself control of the situation, you'll have enough material for a year's worth of Penthouse forum.

[willywhit]

wow,
sounds like the crazy train broke down is A$$$SPEND.....

keep the comedy comin', mang

belly dancing class ...... classic !

[4matic]

Who has the restraining order? Her or her ex bf? She wants to take you to class to show you off to the girls.

[Harv]

You've been given the key to the Cougar den. Sack up and slay that shit.

that is the single greatest piece of advice I have ever seen offered on this fucked up corner of the internet. Can we get that made into a sticker?

[timvwcom]

Putting my thinking cap on...

While I cue up the porn, here's my quick take. You are clearly going to end this sometime/someday... But do it AFTER the sex parties, NOT BEFORE!!!

[BigDaddy]

i may be speaking from my history of having a hard time getting laid in Aspen when I lived there but def dont turn off the faucet. sheisnt looking for a bf, just dont be so available.

Exactly... don't shut it down yet. Think of your grandkids and the stories you'll tell!

[Yeti]

Just don't allow yourself to get trapped. Have a threesome, put it in her Brown Palace, then cut it off it gets too serial.

You've been given the key to the Cougar den. Sack up and slay that shit.

Edit to add: Ponder this, Raps. have you ever had a girl lick your nuts while another girl sucked your dick? If the answer is no, then I think you know the answer.


Next step is to bang one (or more) of her friends and let the competition over you begin.


You're their toy, they are talking about you, so take advantage of it.

I'll let these gentlemen speak for me.

[Thrill Hammer]

She's a grownup, I'm sure she can handle you laying down some boundaries, just be honest and let her know that your only interested in keeping it casual. She'll prolly appreciate it, then you get the nasal sex with all her friends.

[fool]

Oh, you chould check www.urbancougar.com too to see if she's there.

Great thread and hopefully we'll see pics...eventually.

[BLOOD SWEAT STEEL]

Tell her you're busy and can't give her a ride. (If you're not actually busy, FIND something to do during that time.) Don't spend any money on her or her friends unless it's for alcohol or rubbers. DO let her know since that you're new in town and are still getting your bearings and getting shit together that you aren't ready to full-on commit yet. Keep the door open but be kind and tread lightly so as not to run her (or her friends) off. You need to be as ambiguous as possible about this, while still remembering to be sensitive and understanding of her feelings and needs at the same time. Be playful during your "talk" and use this opportunity to build some sexual tension to leverage to your advantage in the short term. After the "talk" it's okay to be the whipping boy for a little bit if you need to in order to maintain balance in the situation - it'll pay big returns in the long run.

You've landed a gold mine dude.

[flatNshallow]

(Ironically, the 34 was also a former professional Jetskier.....NO SHIT!!!....traveled the country on a team in the early 80s).


Since when is 34 'cougar'???


More to the point...

34 early 80s... lets call it 85 for giggles... + 22 years = 46 in 2007... hmmmm...



Same Cougar? Can't be too many 46 year old ex Pro Jet Skier Cougars out there...


just sayin'...

[stump832]

I'm gonna call it. Cougar + a few more nights w/ Raps = possessive Sugar Momma. Better not let her catch you petting those kittens.

:D

Quoted for foresightedyness.

In the nigh-extinct native tongue of the abodiginals, Bagtagley means wisdom.

[BLOOD SWEAT STEEL]

Wait a minute.

She needs a ride? As in..... she's a 46 year old single cougar living in Aspen and doesn't own a car?

Coupled with the fact that she has a restraining order against her ex boyfriend in jail - probably a real good indicator of her failure to recognize the poor choices she makes (still, at 46) in her personal relationships....

I retract my previous advice. Pound it one more time real thorough like, so she tells all her friends how good you lay pipe. I mean WORK it. No shame, dude. All or nothing. Then cut ties with this chick while you're ahead and move on to the friends.

Whatever you do - don't fuck the roommate until you've got another place lined up. Save her for last. :)

[DJSapp]

Step 1: Get the 3 way
Step 2: Ditch #1, Move onto the second one in the 3 way
Step 3: Profit!

Repeat as necessary.

[Franz]

listen man, once thing you absolutly HAVE to keep in mind is that you need to have a late night drunk booty call hookup in aspen, so whatever you do work that around cuz the last thing you want to do is get hammered 2 days from now and have torched the bridge. other than that i wouldnt worry about it, if shes gonna get clingy shes gonna get WAY clingy and youll have plenty of larger warning signs to deal with

[divegirl]

Tell her you're busy and can't give her a ride. (If you're not actually busy, FIND something to do during that time.) Don't spend any money on her or her friends unless it's for alcohol or rubbers. DO let her know since that you're new in town and are still getting your bearings and getting shit together that you aren't ready to full-on commit yet. Keep the door open but be kind and tread lightly so as not to run her (or her friends) off. You need to be as ambiguous as possible about this, while still remembering to be sensitive and understanding of her feelings and needs at the same time. Be playful during your "talk" and use this opportunity to build some sexual tension to leverage to your advantage in the short term. After the "talk" it's okay to be the whipping boy for a little bit if you need to in order to maintain balance in the situation - it'll pay big returns in the long run.
Bingo!! And I'm a woman! I don't like the ambiguous part, but it's important because let's face it - you're both playing a little game here. And in this case, the game is where it's at!

[grskier]

Woodsy has some wise words...

[Raps]

Some very solid advice, thanks fellas and ladies........


I will mull this all over today.......but it could be interesting to watch a belly dancing class haha


I think those that say not to burn bridges but also not to get sucked in have it right.....i will find a nice in between....

Oh and she has no car because umm....her ex stole the title from her......yeah i know, with that info you will all be screaming run run run!

[divegirl]

Coupled with the fact that she has a restraining order against her ex boyfriend in jail - probably a real good indicator of her failure to recognize the poor choices she makes (still, at 46) in her personal relationships....
I thought we don't care about this stuff?
If he follows your advice above, he won't get tangled up in her ex- mess (by playing the ambiguous part well), and therefore will still be playing the game correctly, as in, it's a benefit situation.
No personal life involvement.
Only parties and fucking.

[timvwcom]

More to the point...

34 early 80s... lets call it 85 for giggles... + 22 years = 46 in 2007... hmmmm...

Same Cougar? Can't be too many 46 year old ex Pro Jet Skier Cougars out there...

just sayin'...


Funny, I always thought 34 + 22 = 56???

[bagtagley]

Only parties and fucking.

Sit her down for a convo. When she starts to talk, put your index finger over her lips, calmly say the above quote (to the word), kiss her on the forehead, smile and walk away.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

I have nothing to add except that Woodsy is right. You live in a ski town now and the guy to girl ratio will always be working against you, so remember; one in the hand is almost always better than two in the bush(no pun intended). But tread lightly. As I am sure you can now see, the novelty of fucking a women that many years your senior can wear off pretty fast when you realize few women make it to that age in a town like this without a 747 worth of baggage.

[Rontele]

You live in a ski town now and the guy to girl ratio will always be working against you, so remember; one in the hand is almost always better than two in the bush(no pun intended).

And Raps, if you fuck this up, you'll have no in the bush and one in your hand.

[Tap]

parties and fucking


Sit her down for a convo. When she starts to talk, put your index finger over her lips, calmly say the above quote (to the word), kiss her on the forehead, smile and walk away.

this is why I heart bagtagley. he will pimpify you.

[stump832]

Sit her down for a convo. When she starts to talk, put your index finger over her lips, calmly say the above quote (to the word), kiss her on the forehead, smile and walk away.

In my brief yet compellingly rich history as a husband, this move has yet to fail me. There is a large body of evidence which suggests that there is nothing more intriguing nor sensual as a good ole'fashioned shhshh'ing.

[focus]

Funny, I always thought 34 + 22 = 56???

Right. She said she was 46. What's the problem?

[timvwcom]

Right. She said she was 46. What's the problem?

I've not to see the pics... but from the comments on those who have, I'd say she's not likely to be 56. Plus, at 56 Raps would probably have to go thru a whole bottle of lube to get her all moistened up and get his 3"s in? Hey, on that line of thought, do you think he'd get the same kudos from the masses if he was bragging about boning a 56 year old? [/rampant age discrimination]

[Eldo]

Strange how things change.

When I was 24 I would have been in heaven if a 46-year-old cougar made me her boy toy.

Now that I am older and the only available women my age are cougars, all I want is a 24-year-old hottie. :D

Looking forward to your continued adventures, Raps. Just be sure to flee if things start turning to gunfire, crazed ex-boyfriends, or vicious catfights between the girls. Or at least take photos of that. ;)

[cmsummit]

Best padded room thread EVAH!

Damn Raps, nice to see Aspen is working out for you.;)

[SchralphMacchio]

Sit her down for a convo. When she starts to talk, put your index finger over her lips, calmly say the above quote (to the word), kiss her on the forehead, smile and walk away.

I'm still laughing about this one ...

I've got to try it tonight with the lady :cool:

[CountryFunk]

I think those that say not to burn bridges but also not to get sucked in have it right.....i will find a nice in between....



Probably a good stategy, for awhile, but there will be a time when it's all gonna start to swirl down the toilet. Raps, to truly become the stuff of legends you will recognize that moment just in time to do your imitation of Sherman's March To the Sea through her circle of friends on your way out the door.

[Poop~Ghost]

there are just too many friggen HYSTERICAL posts to quote on in here.

bang up job everybody... fuck the writer's strike - you want quality HAHA you come here.

[MakersTeleMark]

Finola fucking Hughes.

http://www.mrskin.com/data/star/00/26/20/biopic2_56626.jpg