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YourSupremeExcellency
01-17-2008, 04:01 PM
Finola fucking Hughes.

http://www.mrskin.com/data/star/00/26/20/biopic2_56626.jpg

I don't think she's the gangbanging and group sex type.

The Dad
01-17-2008, 04:14 PM
I don't think she's the gangbanging and group sex type.

A man can dream, can't he?

grskier
01-17-2008, 04:29 PM
See you this weekend Raps....

willywhit
01-17-2008, 04:34 PM
Oh, you chould check www.urbancougar.com too to see if she's there.

Great thread and hopefully we'll see pics...eventually.

how about..immediately ??

MOHSHSIHd
01-17-2008, 04:38 PM
Get your roommate and her friends these as gifts!

http://images.cafepress.com/product/146190762v7_240x240_Front_Color-AshGrey.jpg

The Reverend Floater
01-17-2008, 04:41 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

MOHSHSIHd
01-17-2008, 04:46 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.


solid. fucking. gold.

snowswine
01-17-2008, 04:52 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

You sir are a fucking genious! I thought I was a sick fuck!

Moose Pit
01-17-2008, 04:54 PM
More to the point...

34 early 80s... lets call it 85 for giggles... + 22 years = 46 in 2007... hmmmm...



Same Cougar? Can't be too many 46 year old ex Pro Jet Skier Cougars out there...


just sayin'...

So you had to get a restraining order against her:fmicon:

BLOOD SWEAT STEEL
01-17-2008, 04:54 PM
I thought we don't care about this stuff?
If he follows your advice above, he won't get tangled up in her ex- mess (by playing the ambiguous part well), and therefore will still be playing the game correctly, as in, it's a benefit situation.
No personal life involvement.
Only parties and fucking.

True, but since Raps and I have never met - I've gotta give him both options.

Option #1 (the cat and mouse game) requires skill and serious analysis and action/reaction type manipulation to be pulled off successfully. Since I don't really know if he's up to the task or not, option #2 will probably still allow him to bang a few of these chicks while slowly distancing himself from the 46 year old.

When executed precisely, either way is really a win-win.

PNWbrit
01-17-2008, 04:57 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

my ribs hurt.

cramer
01-17-2008, 04:58 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

buwahahahah, classic. "not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town" Too fucking funny dude.

Rontele
01-17-2008, 04:58 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

If I was Raps, I'd want the Stars Wars nickname of R2D2 because he had three "legs".

Moose Pit
01-17-2008, 05:02 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

I have a buddy that used to follow this line of reasoning^ The whole shit cock in mouth all the way up to (and including) shittin' on her chest. Turns out she was that freaky, and my buddy relocated to get the fuck away from her.
Still you should give it a shot - wadda' ya got to lose?

RShea
01-17-2008, 05:02 PM
Ok so the saga continues.......


This is kinda getting out of hand......since she is such good friends with my roomie, she is around a lot.....and now that we've hooked up a few times she is getting way too comfortable with me......here is my dilemma.....

We talked some more last night and i threw in a "whats the wildest thing you've done" comment to stir things up.......well damn she is a wild cougar......i mean there isn't much she HASN'T done.....she mentioned that she likes to get with women etc and do the whole group thing......yeah so that 3 some idea would be a fairly easy feat

BUT, now it seems like it is turning into a more regular thing, not just a oh i ran into this cougar again and we went at it. I mean i'm not gonna lie, i have been showing her a good time in the ol' bedroom so she keeps wanting more and is talkin about how we are so good together in bed.....she also has a ton of baggage....divorced and an ex boyfriend with a restraining order - i definitely don't want to get involved with that. Now she's asking for a ride to her belly dancing class this afternoon? WTF?

Do i cut it off before i get trapped or do i sack up and try to have some crazy 3 some....WWMD?


IF you want out, now is the time. But you may not want to burn any bridges either- being new in town. ;)

Of course we all wonder if she would be mad about finding her picture(s) here on if it would be a thrill to her? If it would make her a little mad (not restraining order mad) then post them up..... if you want to dump her and get out now.

Danno
01-17-2008, 05:03 PM
I have a buddy that used to follow this line of reasoning^ The whole shit cock in mouth all the way up to (and including) shittin' on her chest. Turns out she was that freaky, and my buddy relocated to get the fuck away from her.
Still you should give it a shot - wadda' ya got to lose?

nothing, so long as she is not friends with lorena bobbit.

Jim S
01-17-2008, 05:08 PM
I <3 MY COUGAR

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/IntenseJim/Dot/Dottyskiingsquaw.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/IntenseJim/Dot/dottystratrelic1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v170/IntenseJim/Dot/dothamerlivingroomgoodpicsmall.jpg

divegirl
01-17-2008, 05:09 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

Oh god, I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!
The tears.....they're flowing!
Holy crap!! Awesome.
I may have to make this my new sig...

Jim S
01-17-2008, 05:12 PM
Greatest freakin' post ever!!!!! In fact, best thing I ever read since I learned my ABCs


:D:D:D


My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

cmsummit
01-17-2008, 05:13 PM
shittin' on her chest.

I'd recommend stopping shy of the Cleveland Steamer approach.

Hutch
01-17-2008, 05:16 PM
I'm crying over here, Rev.

Jim S
01-17-2008, 05:23 PM
I'd recommend stopping shy of the Cleveland Steamer approach.

You're so conservative. Sheesh.

Stone-Free
01-17-2008, 05:25 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

OMG. Funniest post ever...

Marv Albert
01-17-2008, 05:32 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

Yessss!!!!!!
:yourock:

could be the first time Marv has posted 2x in one thread!

Garrett
01-17-2008, 05:39 PM
I may have to make this my new sig...
I like your current one, but that is a pretty amazing bit of posting there...

Danno
01-17-2008, 05:40 PM
Yessss!!!!!!
:yourock:

could be the first time Marv has posted 2x in one thread!

the way this thread is going, Marv may get a 3rd chance!

warthog
01-17-2008, 05:45 PM
Oh god, I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard!!
The tears.....they're flowing!
Holy crap!! Awesome.
I may have to make this my new sig...

Yeah, your other one has an expiration date.


Raps- you have two options.


Treat her like shit. She might like it though, and then you are screwed. Some girls, the worse you treat 'em, the more they want you. Her ex is in jail and she has a restraining order. You do the math. He didn't just turn into a criminal overnight.

or


Smother her, and never get laid in town again. Your reputation as a clingy pussy will be legendary in the cougar community, but you will be freed. Hopefully your reputation won't make it to the chicks your age. Don't count on it, though.

Looking at it this way, I think the Rev has your only answer.

MakersTeleMark
01-17-2008, 06:02 PM
Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

f2f
01-17-2008, 06:30 PM
Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

why not? we ain't got anything better to do anyway. it's not like it's winter or something.

pechelman
01-17-2008, 06:34 PM
Why is having a whole apartment load of chicks to fuck in Aspen turned into such a big fucking problem?

decisions. decisions.

eeny meeny miny mo, catch a cougar by her nip, if she moans, giver mo?

MakersTeleMark
01-17-2008, 06:50 PM
... mucho mucho blow and ho.

funkendrenchman
01-17-2008, 07:02 PM
Restraining order from ex-boyfriend? I'd be careful.... Aspen is a very small town. People find out what's going on too easily!

funkendrenchman
01-17-2008, 07:05 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

That's gold Jerry, gold!

Tap
01-17-2008, 07:23 PM
Whatever happens, keep your composure. Stay cool. Don't forget this line..

Baby, please . . . I am not from Havana!

http://www.schnitzengruben.com/schnitzengruben.jpg

I have a feeling you're gonna need it.

stump832
01-17-2008, 07:24 PM
I <3 MY COUGAR

pictures

Sorry Jim, but by definition cougars don't date middle-aged men. You're disqualified

Jim S
01-17-2008, 07:29 PM
Sorry Jim, but by definition cougars don't date middle-aged men. You're disqualified

Oh snap, that hurts. I smell something burning: me.

Aldo
01-17-2008, 07:32 PM
Is anybody really surprised about the restraining order part? Don't just expect to stroll into a room of nipple licking ex jet ski racing belly dancers and expect not to have to step over some baggage. Keep the blinders on Raps, you've got a long way to go til mud season.

Hutch
01-17-2008, 08:11 PM
Raps, you've got a long way to go til mud season.

Its always "mud season" when "you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge."

Sinecure
01-18-2008, 12:10 AM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.


BEST POST EVER! :yourock:

/Tears

IrieRon
01-18-2008, 12:42 AM
You really want out?


Fuck her kid.

rideit
01-18-2008, 12:46 AM
You really want out?


Fuck her kid.
Have you never heard of www.momsteachingteens.com? SERIOUSLY NSFW!!!!!!

wombat
01-18-2008, 05:47 AM
As a chick " treat em mean and keep em keen". Always!!!!

If she gets clingy be a barrrstarrd-every time, every comment. Cougars love guys that can't commit, they have spent their life failing to find one.

Cono Este
01-18-2008, 06:58 AM
Been to? 15 or 20 years ago, I used to host them.

As a voice of reason, though... don't take pics without consent.

Freakin lawyers!;)

How much for the couchspace presidents day weekend?

Lonnie
01-18-2008, 07:39 AM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

If I could do something that cool just once in my life, I'd find some way to write a book/movie about it and retire on a beach in mexico....

Jim S
01-18-2008, 07:49 AM
fIxEd
You really want out?


Fuck her kidand post pics of it on MySpace and YouTube

.
.

warthog
01-18-2008, 08:00 AM
Will somebody save this for when Raps takes it down? I smell a big blow out coming.

Thanks.

ckelly49
01-18-2008, 08:26 AM
Wait a minute.

She needs a ride? As in..... she's a 46 year old single cougar living in Aspen and doesn't own a car?

Coupled with the fact that she has a restraining order against her ex boyfriend in jail - probably a real good indicator of her failure to recognize the poor choices she makes (still, at 46) in her personal relationships....


if the fact that she banged her friend's new 24 year old roommate the first night she, actually, any of them met him doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does.

Woodsy
01-18-2008, 09:17 AM
Woodsy has some wise words...
thanks GR, as a current RFV residnet I thought you m,ight appreciate that.
A lot of people tossing advice out there dont or haven't been a 20 something male in a ski town, I gave my advice from that angle.
OF course Rev did too, and he has done it longer and better than most.
that & the fact he is a real deal superpimp that women just walk up and throw pussy at whenever i am with him...

bklyn
01-18-2008, 09:21 AM
Oh yeah, Rev!
"That's the droid I'm looking for!"

Raps, I have no sage advice for you. Just have as much fun as possible.

Dhelihiker
01-18-2008, 10:10 AM
we did it again and then she left to wait for a furnature delivery at her house
I wonder if the delivery boy got any?

Yoda
01-18-2008, 10:16 AM
Heed the wise words of Master Floater you should young padawan. Much he has learned, much he has to teach you.

BoShek called he was in the past…..
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0a/Bo_shek.jpg/200px-Bo_shek.jpg

stupendous man
01-18-2008, 10:17 AM
Don't just expect to stroll into a room of nipple licking ex jet ski racing belly dancers and expect not to have to step over some baggage.

Another gem.

skibuminwyo
01-18-2008, 10:25 AM
definitly one of the best padded room threads ever!

mushmouth
01-18-2008, 10:25 AM
http://www.crazy4tees.com/images/gang-bang.gif
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0a/Bo_shek.jpg/200px-Bo_shek.jpg

G
01-18-2008, 11:09 AM
Tell her you refuse to have sex with her again unless she brings a cute friend along.

Later, tell her you have made plans to move in with her.

scarlet begonias
01-18-2008, 11:54 AM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

FanFUCKINGtastic. Laughing SO hard right now.

Have fun Raps! Just watch out for her claws. Meow.

Franz
01-18-2008, 01:44 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.

i just had to walk out of my office because i was laughing so hard that i was tearing up hardcore

genius. pure fucking genius.

Lonnie
01-18-2008, 02:51 PM
Along the line of Rev's Idea (star wars themed).

1) Start calling your unit "the force" --> "Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

2) Start calling her muff "Chewbacca" --> "Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! Get in there and don't worry about it. "

3) pooperhausen = "The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station."

And finally,
http://inet.uni2.dk/~d186554/ralph&#37;20wookie.wav

Toadman
01-18-2008, 02:55 PM
Along the line of Rev's Idea (star wars themed).

1) Start calling your unit "the force"

"Well, the Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

2) Start calling her muff "Chebacca"

"Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! Get in there and don't worry about it. "

3) pooperhausen = "The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station."

And finally,
http://inet.uni2.dk/~d186554/ralph%20wookie.wav

Just when you think it can't get any funnier.

Franz
01-18-2008, 03:26 PM
good lord everyone in my office thinks somethings seriously wrong with me today cuz i keep on bursting out with laughter

Bodhi
01-18-2008, 03:32 PM
My advice is to not push the envelope--shove that shit. Keep doing freakier and freakier stuff until she bails. I.e. start by sticking a finger in her butt during sex (if you haven't already, shame on you), then do it again but stick it in her mouth afterwards. Next time, paint your willy up into a storm trooper with white out and shit. When she pulls it out, yell "that's the droid your looking for!" The next time, put the storm trooper in her Death Star and shout "It's a trap! The forcefield is still up!" Eventually grauduate to calling her Steve as you try and put everything within arm's reach into her brown lounge. Why, you ask? Because when she explain's to her friends why she's not into you anymore, they'll be DYING to sample the circus, themselves. Not to mention the sweet Star Wars nicknames you'll get around town.Very fine conceptual writing there, my friend.

:fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon:


peace,
D.

supermodel159
01-18-2008, 03:58 PM
Ok yeah so I just woke up with her in my bed again........but this time I have pictures......

However I am going to be a tease since I am runnin out the door to go skiing.....so yeah I will be back at the end of the day to give u all some visuals....clothed of course (for now)...

But thanks for all the support, damn I love you guys....see some of you at the gondola to rip up these few inches of fresh woohooo!

Lets get back to your integrity...you gave the mags your word!

COUGARS ARE NOT ON THE ENDANGERED SPECIES LIST!

No_Fun
01-18-2008, 04:04 PM
:eek:

Hey, it could be worst.

You could be with a someone that age and not getting any (oh, I might be writing in the wrong thread or not). :p

AspenCougar
01-18-2008, 04:05 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

rideit
01-18-2008, 04:06 PM
popcorn....

Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo
01-18-2008, 04:06 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

Way to go with a subtle, believable alias.:rolleyes: Do you even know what candor means?

GapersGoHome
01-18-2008, 04:07 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

Oh, snap! :D Dude, Raps, if this isn't an alias, I'm sorry, buddy....

hafilax
01-18-2008, 04:07 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

:fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon::fmicon:

AspenCougar
01-18-2008, 04:09 PM
Way to go with a subtle, believable alias.:rolleyes: Do you even know what candor means?

whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid

and since he is spreading shit about me on the internet, i'll just add he wears tighty whities, BVDs

SnowToad
01-18-2008, 04:11 PM
I've been expecting this alias. What took so long?

rideit
01-18-2008, 04:12 PM
whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid

and since he is spreading shit about me on the internet, i'll just add he wears tighty whities, BVDs


Lame attempt....no donuts.

Tye 1on
01-18-2008, 04:14 PM
whoops i meant to say, i wish raps would have been a bit more candid


yeah, he needs to be more candid for sure. :p

f2f
01-18-2008, 04:15 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

http://photos.imageevent.com/bluesx/farkimages/monkey-peach.jpg

GapersGoHome
01-18-2008, 04:17 PM
http://photos.imageevent.com/bluesx/farkimages/monkey-peach.jpg

BWHAHAHAA...

'Monkey Steals The Peach'

"followers of the Iron Hand styles immediately clench their fists tightly, with a crushing grip, and jerk the hand sharply back to the near hip, effectively ripping away the genitals. Massive blood loss causes death.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:19 PM
Hey AspenCougar, I single handedly prevented Raps from posting your pics all over the internet. Wouldn't you say that is worth a few bj's from you and your slutty friends?

The Dad
01-18-2008, 04:25 PM
Hey AspenCougar, I single handedly prevented Raps from posting your pics all over the internet. Wouldn't you say that is worth a few bj's from you and your slutty friends?

With game like that, I can't imagine you have much success on your own.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:27 PM
With game like that, I can't imagine you have much success on your own.

You'd be surprised at how many women are attracted to dickheads who don't give a shit and who think that "game" is beneathe them ;)

The Dad
01-18-2008, 04:32 PM
You'd be surprised at how many women are attracted to dickheads who don't give a shit and who think that "game" is beneathe them ;)

So you're into incest survivors? Nice.

Tye 1on
01-18-2008, 04:32 PM
You'd be surprised at how many gay boys are attracted to dickheads who don't give a shit and who think that "game" is beneathe them ;),

fixed it for ya ;)

berko
01-18-2008, 04:34 PM
N.B. Quoting YSE defeats my (and I presume many others) use of the ignore function. If you really can't control yourself from feeding the trolls, please dont quote them.

Thanks.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:37 PM
So you're into incest survivors? Nice.

Yeah I guess the man who confesses to having routinely thrown parties for the type of women who expose themselves without much prodding would think that is nice.

The Dad
01-18-2008, 04:41 PM
N.B. Quoting YSE defeats my (and I presume many others) use of the ignore function. If you really can't control yourself from feeding the trolls, please dont quote them.



Sometimes it's important to call out the asswads as asswads -- if for no other reason than to clarify to casual observers who don't use ignore that they're outside the mainstream. When you do that, sometimes you need to be clear about what makes them such. That mandates quotes.

There's also a manual ignore function, by the way. In my experience, it works quite well.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:45 PM
Sometimes it's important to call out the asswads as asswads -- if for no other reason than to clarify to casual observers who don't use ignore that they're outside the mainstream. When you do that, sometimes you need to be clear about what makes them such. That mandates quotes.

There's also a manual ignore function, by the way. In my experience, it works quite well.



So you still think incest is nice?

supermodel159
01-18-2008, 04:46 PM
Wow. I am totally dumbfounded and at a complete loss of words. People in this thread are right, Aspen is a small town. I am so glad I can rely on my friends to remind me why I should stay away from young and immature guys. You try to have a little fun with someone and next thing you know they are posting your entire life story and their sexual exploits on the fucking internet! I'd hope that "Raps" would have a bit more candor.

That didn't take long!

Raps: Is AspenCougar a fake? Or has the coug actually hunted you down on the internet as well?

The Dad
01-18-2008, 04:48 PM
Is AspenCougar a fake?

My money's on fake, because I don't think she would've chosen that name. But I could be wrong.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:50 PM
YSE=tool of the week!

Your username is "ride it" and I'M the tool???

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON
01-18-2008, 04:53 PM
Your username is "ride it" and I'M the tool???

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

Jim S
01-18-2008, 04:53 PM
Hey AspenCougar, I single handedly prevented Raps from posting your pics all over the internet. Wouldn't you say that is worth a few bj's from you and your slutty friends?

If you bothered to look at the SEC's divsion of SFCER (sexual favor currency and exchange rate), you'd know that, adjusted for inflation, she owes you 2 blow jobs, 1 tittyfuck, and 1 rim job.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 04:55 PM
SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

That's all you got? You must be schooled in the same line of arguement as rideit.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON
01-18-2008, 05:00 PM
That's all you got? You must be schooled in the same line of arguement as rideit.


1. A perfect argument is an argument that persuades everyone who understands the language in which it is formed of its conclusion. [1]
2. If YourSupremeExcellency exists, then there is a perfect argument for his existence. [2]
3. But in fact no argument exists that persuades everyone who understands the language in which it is formed of YourSupremeExellency's existence.
4. Therefore, YourSupremeExellency does not exist.


so - SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

Tye 1on
01-18-2008, 05:01 PM
ok, i think you're the 4th STFU, and the worst. Paging the original, numero uno STFUYFM!!!! Stat!!!

The Dad
01-18-2008, 05:03 PM
If you bothered to look at the SEC's divsion of SFCER (sexual favor currency and exchange rate), you'd know that, adjusted for inflation, she owes you 2 blow jobs, 1 tittyfuck, and 1 rim job.

Actually, I think you messed up the calculation a smidge. It looks like you adjusted up for inflation, rather than down. Easy mistake.

GapersGoHome
01-18-2008, 05:04 PM
^^ Seriously, where did that guy go? Always had perfect timing in the thread.

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 05:05 PM
1. A perfect argument is an argument that persuades everyone who understands the language in which it is formed of its conclusion. [1]
2. If YourSupremeExcellency exists, then there is a perfect argument for his existence. [2]
3. But in fact no argument exists that persuades everyone who understands the language in which it is formed of YourSupremeExellency's existence.
4. Therefore, YourSupremeExellency does not exist.


so - SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU FUCKING MORON!!!

So if I don't exist then you are arguing with yourself???

Fags argue with those who don't exist
YSE does not exist
You argue with YSE
You are a fag

Jim S
01-18-2008, 05:07 PM
^^ Seriously, where did that guy go? Always had perfect timing in the thread.


+ 1





.,

GapersGoHome
01-18-2008, 05:08 PM
Well, there goes Page #14, thanks to YourSupremeExcellency....

YourSupremeExcellency
01-18-2008, 05:12 PM
Well, there goes Page #14, thanks to YourSupremeExcellency....

Aren't you going to thank my supporting cast?

The Reverend Floater
01-18-2008, 05:13 PM
You guys took an all-timer and turned it into a cunt war. Thanks.

GapersGoHome
01-18-2008, 05:13 PM
Raps, any updates?

The Dad
01-18-2008, 05:17 PM
You guys took an all-timer and turned it into a cunt war. Thanks.

You've got a point. And given your now-legendary Star Wars post, I think you've got second dibs on this thread after Raps.

CountryFunk
01-18-2008, 07:12 PM
Um, if Aspencougar is indeed real, wouldn't immediate posting of any and all the photos be in order?:tongue:

Just checking ...

Raps
01-18-2008, 07:19 PM
You guys took an all-timer and turned it into a cunt war. Thanks.

Yes seriously......

First off - Rev, that post still has me laughing.......you should write a book.....

Second - Obviously AspenCougar is a troll because that was a super lame attempt........AND she was just over here stroking my thigh :biggrin:


Updates.....lets see, not to exciting because i have come down with a bad cold, maybe even the flu.......umm guess who had it last week? Yeah so now i'm sick and out of commission for a few days.....

However, i did have a nice bowl of chicken noodle soup with her this afternoon on the couch.....

We were watching TV and some ad with a dominatrix comes on and she starts up the whole role play and fantasy thing.......yeah i guess she has a closet full of sex outfits.....even freakin Xena warrior princess! So now i gotta figure out who to be?

And she started talkin bout ummm tying me up to my bed posts :eek: and what my "stop" codename would be.....she said she usually goes with butterfly.....

Agh i need more dayQ to get me back in the game.......

f2f
01-18-2008, 07:27 PM
And she started talkin bout ummm tying me up to my bed posts :eek: and what my "stop" codename would be.....

it's called the "safeword" and you better make sure you remember it!

AWsgYZN1Hc8

squirrelmurphy
01-18-2008, 07:31 PM
yeah i guess she has a closet full of sex outfits.....even freakin Xena warrior princess! So now i gotta figure out who to be?


JjVZd9ACMng

hutash
01-18-2008, 07:33 PM
Updates.....lets see, not to exciting because i have come down with a bad cold, maybe even AIDS or some other STD resistant to every known antibiotic.......umm guess who had it last week? Yeah so now i'm sick and out of commission for a few days.....



Agh i need more dayQ and penicillin to get me back in the game.......

Fixed it for you, hope your sack doesn't fall off.

pappag
01-18-2008, 07:37 PM
Heh ... 46 years old ... fucking since 16 ... that's 30 years ... times 6 Raps-type mountain guys per year = git 'er done!

Arty50
01-18-2008, 08:07 PM
We were watching TV and some ad with a dominatrix comes on and she starts up the whole role play and fantasy thing.......yeah i guess she has a closet full of sex outfits.....even freakin Xena warrior princess! So now i gotta figure out who to be?

Don't forget your sword...

http://www3.iath.virginia.edu/Barbarians/Essays/conan1.jpg

...or if you're of slimmer stature and there's a tanning salon nearby...

http://kotaku.com/assets/resources/2007/04/conan_5.jpg

runethechamp
01-18-2008, 08:24 PM
And she started talkin bout ummm tying me up to my bed posts :eek: and what my "stop" codename would be.....she said she usually goes with butterfly.....

Make sure you don't end up like:

1. George Costanza when he got robbed by that lady he met on the subway

2. This friend of a friend of mine in Norway. He ended up home with a chick who had been screwed over (in more than one way) too many times by guys who never called her back. They went back to his place, he was still living with his parents. She tied him to the bed, straddled him, took a dump on his stomach and left him there for his parents to find him in the morning.

Tourette Dude
01-18-2008, 08:36 PM
#20 out of 217,000 on google :FIREdevil


http://www.google.com/search?q=cougar++aspen&hl=en&start=10&sa=N

StoneCold
01-18-2008, 08:55 PM
#9 hit on my google search.

Raps, get better, I want to experience the cougar den.

Raps
01-18-2008, 09:12 PM
#20 out of 217,000 on google :FIREdevil


http://www.google.com/search?q=cougar++aspen&hl=en&start=10&sa=N


oh no!! I hope she doesn't google much.....:eek:


So it looks like a flu - i guess my roomie had it and a few people i have been hanging with so i will rest over the next couple days.......shoulda gotten my flu shot, oh well......

MadPatSki
01-18-2008, 09:50 PM
This is threat has Hall of Fame written all over it.

Raps...

Rev's reply... I was crying.

Aspen Cougar... crying again.

People at work were wondering why I was laughing at my desk.

Almost died, but then Rap came back with the codename and someone added the youtube link that followed.

P R I C E L E S S !!!!

MadPatSki
01-18-2008, 09:53 PM
oh no!! I hope she doesn't google much.....:eek:.

FIRST PAGE. #7 of about 216,000. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: :D :eek:

Moose Pit
01-18-2008, 10:11 PM
Yes seriously......


lets see, not to exciting because i have come down with a bad cold, maybe even the flu.......umm guess who had it last week? Yeah so now i'm sick and out of commission for a few days.....



Shit dude time to start double bagging it:eek:

and ya might want to start rinsing with mouth wash (yer pecker and yer gob:p)

ptavv
01-18-2008, 10:12 PM
We were watching TV and some ad with a dominatrix comes on and she starts up the whole role play and fantasy thing.......yeah i guess she has a closet full of sex outfits.....even freakin Xena warrior princess! So now i gotta figure out who to be?


http://www.vanillawinter.com/tarvold.jpg

duh

skibuminwyo
01-18-2008, 10:26 PM
This thread does not suck.

timvwcom
01-18-2008, 11:40 PM
Whooo Hooo...

Julio
01-19-2008, 12:35 AM
18K plus views...if everyone paid a dime to read this thread, Raps would have $2000 by the end of the weekend. Money that could be put towards; camera, antibiotics, star wars paraphernalia, etc. Just sayin, that's a lot of people. Oh, and Raps for president of the padded room (once pics are posted).

Telecaster
01-19-2008, 02:40 AM
[QUOTE=Raps;1636651]





When i woke up i was like damn where am i........then i looked over and saw this 46 year old woman smiling at me.......we did it again and then she left to wait for a furnature delivery at her house.......

what is 'furnature'?

G
01-19-2008, 02:50 AM
Originally Posted by Raps http://tetongravity.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1643459#post1643459)
We were watching TV and some ad with a dominatrix comes on and she starts up the whole role play and fantasy thing.......yeah i guess she has a closet full of sex outfits.....even freakin Xena warrior princess! So now i gotta figure out who to be?


You should ask her if you can be Gabrielle. I bet she already has the outfit ready for you!

http://www.groovily.com/d/136-1/Xena+lesbian+poster+child.jpg

flatNshallow
01-19-2008, 06:58 AM
Funny, I always thought 34 + 22 = 56???



Doh!:nonono2:

True: As I was waking up this am this was the first thought I had... figured I'd better come back the thread and take my abuse.

Want me to balance your check book? You'll never run out of cash!:the_finge

Lonnie
01-19-2008, 08:11 AM
Might be kind of fun to see if we could boost it even nearer the top??? :fmicon:

Time to drop the Google Bomb... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_bomb)

So what folks need to do is link to this thread (or This Post (https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1641533) really with the term Aspen Cougar in the text. That should do it.

If several folks changed their sigs and added the code below that would be an easy way....

Aspen Cougar (https://www.tetongravity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109019)

timvwcom
01-19-2008, 09:48 AM
Hows the weather in Aspen now?

Grange
01-19-2008, 09:58 AM
You should ask her if you can be Gabrielle. I bet she already has the outfit ready for you!

http://www.groovily.com/d/136-1/Xena+lesbian+poster+child.jpg

No, ask her to have one of the kittens as Gabrielle and he could be Hercules

Falldise
01-19-2008, 12:18 PM
How about thundercats? You could be Liono and she could be Cheetarah

TeleAl
01-19-2008, 12:29 PM
I think it's time to call in my free pass to stay at yours in return for staying at mine.

Pics would be nice.

fool
01-19-2008, 02:01 PM
Whoaa! When I first checked yesterday it was placing at #19 (9th on that page but this link is for second page starting at 10th spot). Last night before bed had move up only 1 spot to #18. Just now >>> up to 11th place. That link above won't take you right to the correct page once it boosts 1 more place. This should; http://www.google.com/search?q=cougar++aspen&hl=en&start=0&sa=N

#1 now...:yourock::yourock::yourock:

:D

Rideski
01-19-2008, 02:07 PM
Hey Raps, what maggot bought you your first beer when you moved to Colorado?
Huh buddy? huh?

(but wait till her girlfriends get over their botulism before you invite me up...)

timvwcom
01-19-2008, 02:38 PM
(but wait till her girlfriends get over their botulism before you invite me up...)

Think he said the chicas were already over it, but that he IS NOT YET!!! Maybe now while Raps is "down" would be the best time for another piece of man meat to be thrown into that cougar den???? :D

Arty50
01-19-2008, 05:20 PM
I have a great idea, why don't we just let this thread run its course; and maybe it will get to be number 1 or maybe it won't. Also remember if it's number 1 word might get around Aspen a hell of a lot faster. Ski towns are very small places. In other words, stop being nerds with google and just enjoy this for what it is.

lemon boy
01-19-2008, 05:50 PM
raps already has heard how I feel about this matter (I think this whole thing is fucking rad) but I'm just popping in to say that I agree with Arty. I agree with Woodsy. And now you all fucking know why it is the good Reverend Floater who is the icon for :yourock: and not anybody else. Holy jebus.

Jax
01-19-2008, 06:11 PM
Just wait 'till summer when a real cougar is spotted around Aspen...

timvwcom
01-19-2008, 06:41 PM
On being a "google nerd"; unfortunately probably "guilty as charged" :redface: oh, and :fuckyou:

(Oh, and I totally think there is a very good chance this thread will be "disappeared" when Raps gets a ways beyond the current mindset???)

Raps
01-19-2008, 07:41 PM
I have a great idea, why don't we just let this thread run its course; and maybe it will get to be number 1 or maybe it won't. Also remember if it's number 1 word might get around Aspen a hell of a lot faster. Ski towns are very small places. In other words, stop being nerds with google and just enjoy this for what it is.

Well said Arty, well said......

timvwcom
01-19-2008, 07:43 PM
Well said Arty, well said......

HIS thread, HIS rules... google ascent called off. :cool:

MashedPotatoes
01-19-2008, 08:00 PM
hey Raps, how bout some more juicy details for the married phells mmkay? totally cool w/ me if you post some pics dude.

Have you been using the force? Have you visited chewbacca recently? Have you found more droids that you're looking for? Swinging the ol' light saber around?

Help me Raps-one-kanobi..you're my only hope..

willywhit
01-20-2008, 05:10 PM
bump for an update
http://www.seeleyworld.com/Shirts.html

mnflyfish
01-21-2008, 03:10 PM
Raps,

No worries about the Google thing, your not on the first three pages. The only possible link is TJ's blog and that's like number 7 or 8 down the list.

Jay

DharmaBum
01-22-2008, 12:28 AM
Beings how I just wasted 45 mins of my life on this HOF-bound thread (30 reading and 15 laughing at the Rev's post), I felt it necessary to post something.

Summit
01-22-2008, 12:30 AM
I proclaim this thread to be full of win

Lonnie
01-22-2008, 08:44 AM
Raps hasn't posted here in a few days. I wonder if he's tied up in her basement???

Tippster
01-22-2008, 09:08 AM
Keeping w/the Star Wars theme...

http://coruscantmuseum.org/images/SlaveLeiaWallpaper.jpg

grskier
01-22-2008, 11:49 AM
Raps, we Xgamesing it in town this weekend or what?

Raps
01-22-2008, 11:54 AM
Raps, we Xgamesing it in town this weekend or what?

Oh its on my friend, its on......


Yeah i haven't posted in a few days cause i'm resting up from the flu which i guess has been goin around this town......anyway i'm feelin better and start work tomorrow which is good. My cougar friend has dropped by every now and then to bring me some groceries and medicine, which has been nice :D She also bought me tickets to the xgames opening party.......:D

GR i will keep ya posted but xgames in the cougar den should be nuts - supposedly my roomie is friends with a bunch of the athletes and some are crashing at our place including a snowboard chick who is quite famous......

YourSupremeExcellency
01-22-2008, 12:52 PM
You probably have HIV.

Tippster
01-22-2008, 02:12 PM
You probably have HIV.

http://www.auburnlane.de/stuff/stfu_yoda.jpg

Lonnie
01-22-2008, 02:35 PM
My cougar friend has dropped by every now and then to bring me some groceries and medicine, which has been nice :D


Maybe you should have her try sucking the posion/toxins/virus out....

YourSupremeExcellency
01-22-2008, 02:44 PM
http://www.auburnlane.de/stuff/stfu_yoda.jpg

You might have HIV too. I mean when was the last time you've been tested? You know most who have it don't know they do. Yeah you probably have it.

Tippster
01-22-2008, 02:46 PM
http://yogan.meinungsverstaerker.de/fun/stfu.jpg

YourSupremeExcellency
01-22-2008, 02:49 PM
http://yogan.meinungsverstaerker.de/fun/stfu.jpg

Yep you definitely probably have HIV. I think you know it too as you now think about how many years it's been since you've been tested.

Tippster
01-22-2008, 02:55 PM
Keeping with the theme until Raps posts more tales...

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h140/Taigga/STFU5.jpg

f2f
01-22-2008, 03:00 PM
this thread needs a good threadjack.
http://bsd.benquick.net/images/stfu.jpg

YourSupremeExcellency
01-22-2008, 03:31 PM
Keeping with the theme until Raps posts more tales...

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h140/Taigga/STFU5.jpg

You people with HIV are so funny. Your incurable disease makes me laugh.

hialtitude
01-22-2008, 03:41 PM
You people with HIV are so funny. Your incurable disease makes me laugh.

You have obviously never known somebody HIV +. You will get what you deserve with that attitude.

Tunco
01-22-2008, 03:46 PM
Please stop quoting it, the ignore list doesn't work for quotes. Thanks.

Danno
01-22-2008, 04:05 PM
Please stop quoting it, the ignore list doesn't work for quotes. Thanks.

for fuck's sake, this isn't the solution. The solution is TO STOP FEEDING THE FUCKING TROLLS!

gamma
01-22-2008, 04:25 PM
NICE>>>> QUALITY!!!!

SuperChief
01-23-2008, 05:49 AM
for fuck's sake, this isn't the solution. The solution is TO STOP FEEDING THE FUCKING TROLLS!
Just ignore supremespermguzzler and he'll go away, or come back as another troll alias to ignore. don't feed into his stupid hate.

soulman978
01-23-2008, 08:16 AM
Just ignore supremespermguzzler and he'll go away, or come back as another troll alias to ignore. don't feed into his stupid hate.

Agreed. Please ignore that cocksucker and hopefully he will go away.

back on topic... Raps how you feelin today? Healthy enough to post some pics?

montanaskier
01-23-2008, 09:02 AM
I've yet to post in this thread somehow and just wanted to say....

"GOOD FOR YOU" and "YOU THE FUCKING MAN".

I love instant HOF threads.

Sphinx15
01-23-2008, 10:21 AM
http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/2772/aspencoughg9.jpg

BmillsSkier
01-23-2008, 11:54 AM
^^^ I thought the google ascent was called off out of respect?

On a completely unrelated note, I love the Aspen Entertainment Group search result. What a business model:

"A.E.G. has a slate of projects in development, but "Cougar Hunting" is currently our priority project."

well, duh...

oh, and update please. :yourock:

YourSupremeExcellency
01-23-2008, 11:58 AM
Just ignore supremespermguzzler and he'll go away, or come back as another troll alias to ignore. don't feed into his stupid hate.

Warning those who go around having unprotected group sex with people they have just met about the dangers of HIV is hate? Damn you are either in denial or extremely fucking stupid.

timvwcom
01-23-2008, 12:05 PM
^^^ I thought the google ascent was called off out of respect?

I DID CALL IT OFF, I DID!!! :redface:

I even removed the links I had added elsewhere and had google recrawl those pages... I edited out my posts with hints and suggestions for how to bump it, and even sent an email to others to say I had called it off.

It is at #1 now BTW, but my hands are clean (or maybe I've just scrubbed REALLY hard and I didn't think there was any blood left? :eek: )

GapersGoHome
01-23-2008, 12:33 PM
Raps, you are the fucking man. You are starting to channel Tucker Max.... :D

Arty50
01-23-2008, 12:41 PM
Raps, you are the fucking man. You are starting to channel Tucker Max.... :D

Whoa...whoa...let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. Tucker is on a completely different plane of existance from the rest of us mere mortals.

Lonnie
01-23-2008, 01:22 PM
I DID CALL IT OFF, I DID!!! :redface:

He did. Sent me a PM sat telling calling "no joy".

grskier
01-23-2008, 02:05 PM
Oh its on my friend, its on......


GR i will keep ya posted but xgames in the cougar den should be nuts - supposedly my roomie is friends with a bunch of the athletes and some are crashing at our place including a snowboard chick who is quite famous......

I'll call tomorrow, we may be pregaming it at mi casa...

Tippster
01-23-2008, 02:23 PM
Warning those who go around having unprotected group sex with people they have just met about the dangers of HIV is hate? Damn you are either in denial or extremely fucking stupid.

http://simeonpilgrim.com/images/Youknowyourlovedwhen_F072/retarded.jpg

YourSupremeExcellency
01-23-2008, 09:07 PM
http://simeonpilgrim.com/images/Youknowyourlovedwhen_F072/retarded.jpg

That's all you got?

todug27
01-23-2008, 11:15 PM
My cougar friend has dropped by every now and then to bring me some groceries and medicine, which has been nice

almost something your mother would probably do...

Lurch
01-23-2008, 11:37 PM
almost something your mother would probably do...

I laughed

timvwcom
01-23-2008, 11:52 PM
almost something your mother would probably do...

Why do you think they call them MILF's??? Actually, in this case it'd be MIHF...

Keegan
01-24-2008, 02:33 AM
Just read through the entire thing.

When's this going in the Hall of Fame?... :D

Touche Raps, touche.

todug27
01-24-2008, 03:10 AM
Why do you think they call them MILF's??? Actually, in this case it'd be MIHF...

oh, thanks

stump832
01-24-2008, 06:58 AM
Tipp, you should keep responding to that guy. Your media campaign is obviously working.

TNKen
01-24-2008, 12:17 PM
Raps is AWOL. Must have forgotten the 2x4 on his last venture.

BmillsSkier
01-24-2008, 12:31 PM
:eek:

http://tetongravity.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=36264&stc=1&d=1201199329

:eek:

TeleHoar
01-24-2008, 12:39 PM
:eek:

http://tetongravity.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=36264&stc=1&d=1201199329

:eek:


:eek:
No way...is this real??
Can't be.

The Dad
01-24-2008, 12:47 PM
There's no paper called the Aspen Examiner. Good spoof, though. What did you use to generate that?

mrw
01-24-2008, 12:49 PM
this thread just keeps on getting better

Moose Pit
01-24-2008, 12:49 PM
The Rev's advice payed off - and made the news, not real...

but if it is:D:D:D

Cono Este
01-24-2008, 12:56 PM
Since posting a pic has been deemed to be tortious by resident maggot legal counselors, can he post an audio clip of her GROWLING like a big cat?

I am sure this would be a slam dunk for her.

Tippster
01-24-2008, 01:29 PM
Tipp, you should keep responding to that guy. Your media campaign is obviously working.

My psy-ops is subtle. I almost have him right where I want him. Unfortunately the internet ran out of stupid pictures for me to link to, so I'm biding my time.

So how's school?

BmillsSkier
01-24-2008, 01:43 PM
There's no paper called the Aspen Examiner. Good spoof, though. What did you use to generate that?

I have no idea what you're talking about. This clipping was emailed to me from a very close friend in the area.












http://www.fodey.com/generators/newspaper/snippet.asp

Core Shot
01-24-2008, 01:51 PM
:eek:

http://tetongravity.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=36264&stc=1&d=1201199329

:eek:

Best
Photoshop
Ever

FrankZappa
01-24-2008, 02:10 PM
I hope BMills is working on pg 6.

yooper
01-24-2008, 02:42 PM
Best
Photoshop
Ever

Bro, check out the tiny link at the bottom of bmillskier's last post. I bookmarked that bitch!

Lonnie
01-24-2008, 02:44 PM
:eek:
No way...is this real??
Can't be.

And did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary too???

yooper
01-24-2008, 02:48 PM
And did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary too???

WHAT!!!!????

skibuminwyo
01-24-2008, 02:57 PM
This thread never disappoints. Brilliant!

Grange
01-24-2008, 03:11 PM
OK that was damn funny.

TeleHoar
01-24-2008, 03:37 PM
And did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary too???

Not true, still there.

But I saw that under the "old unfunny jokes" section of the dictionary
they have now added your post.

:smile::FIREdevil

edg
01-24-2008, 08:45 PM
When a newspaper can't tell the difference between 'who's' and 'whose', your whole country is going in the shitter.

Worst photoshop, ever.

edg

Lonnie
01-24-2008, 08:58 PM
But I saw that under the "old unfunny jokes" section of the dictionary they have now added your post.

Sweet. More press for me!!!

MOHSHSIHd
01-24-2008, 09:00 PM
Well, looks like I will be staying at Chateau de Raps this weekend. Perhaps we can grab some footage of Cougars in their natural habitat.

BigDaddy
01-24-2008, 09:01 PM
What do mean going into the shitter?... It already is. It made me laugh.

Lonnie
01-24-2008, 09:04 PM
Well, looks like I will be staying at Chateau de Raps this weekend. Perhaps we can grab some footage of Cougars in their natural habitat.

Wishing you Happy Hunting.

ckelly49
01-24-2008, 09:31 PM
Well, looks like I will be staying at Chateau de Raps this weekend. Perhaps we can grab some footage of Cougars in their natural habitat.

bring home a few pelts to make a hat or gloves. i hear cougar is the new mink.

stump832
01-25-2008, 12:28 AM
My psy-ops is subtle. I almost have him right where I want him. Unfortunately the internet ran out of stupid pictures for me to link to, so I'm biding my time.

So how's school?

its educational.

i like your psyops.

mtsprings
01-25-2008, 10:16 AM
Raps, thank you for allowing me to live vicariously through your adventures
Reverend, your “advice” is the funniest thing that I have read on the internet
Pictures or not……Thread Subscribed
Please continue!!!!!

naedward81
01-25-2008, 05:01 PM
this is unreal.

ChowdahRidah
01-25-2008, 08:05 PM
My wife is moving to London for a few weeks, can I crash at your place? I have mad camera skills.

MOHSHSIHd
01-26-2008, 02:35 PM
I am chilling on Raps' luscious leather couch right now. No insanity last night, but looks like a healthy heard of ladies will be coming over to help us drink the handles of Ketel and Jack we brought with us.

The funniest thing is the framed picture of an actual cougar on the wall in the bathroom!


We will be skiing tomorrow depending on how crunked we get tonight. Highlands?

timvwcom
01-26-2008, 02:41 PM
I am chilling on Raps' luscious leather couch right now. No insanity last night, but looks like a healthy heard of ladies will be coming over to help us drink the handles of Ketel and Jack we brought with us...

No pressure, but you KNOW a lot of us are counting on you to keep notes and report back here with loads of details... Right? :cool:

timvwcom
01-27-2008, 12:11 AM
Hmmmmm... I'm sitting here tonight hoping that "no news" is "good news" on my side of the gender wars in the bedroom to bedroom/living room couch/bathroom shower/nightclub bathroom/apartment hallway/car parked outside "battle of the sexes" struggle of my dear and certainly very very best friends in Aspen Co-olouriiieeou-Doe USA.

Report back soon from the "breast" lines... ummm... I mean "front" lines with an update my friends! :D

Lone Star
01-27-2008, 12:18 AM
raps and phish are watching porn on hbo while the cougars are out getting fresh pro-bro meat in town tonight

GlimmerIII
01-27-2008, 11:51 AM
Touchdown or are we sending this one upstairs for review?

timvwcom
01-27-2008, 05:55 PM
Is this thing on? Hello... (Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello...)

pheenster
01-27-2008, 08:19 PM
This had better be one hell of a TR.

Raps
01-28-2008, 12:25 AM
Well, Phish can chime in but good times were had this weekend....nothing too crazy though i am afraid......

The Powder awards were a hell of a time though - E, you rock man - great work.

It was great rubbin elbows with the pros - Ingrid and Kip, if you are readin this (i know you guys lurk), it was great talkin with you guys......

The craziest part though was running into Atrain who won an award (congrats man and nice meetin ya) and we all came back to the cougar den for after hours - I'm not too sure what happened after that but i do know that i woke up next to the cougar again.....sorry Phish that there were no other cougars late night in the den for ya but those South African chicks were digging you guys and were over here tonight pissed that you didn't stay.....so you are more than welcome to come up here for round 2.....


Sorry guys i know thats not too crazy a story, but the truth is, this damn cougar is scaring me and i think i may slowly stop this train......shes freakin old and its kinda freakin me out.....oh and i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......oh well


Phish, what are your thoughts after your time in the den?

ill-advised strategy
01-28-2008, 12:28 AM
but the truth is, this damn cougar is scaring me and i think i may slowly stop this train......shes freakin old and its kinda freakin me out....

boooooooo!

:p

Julio
01-28-2008, 12:32 AM
this damn cougar is scaring me and i think i may slowly stop this train......shes freakin old and its kinda freakin me out

DIBS!!!! :D

mtsprings
01-28-2008, 12:55 AM
[QUOTE=Raps;1658430]i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......oh well
QUOTE]

oh well....... :eek::eek::eek:

There was this movie that came out back in the late 80’s. Let me think who was in it……… Michael Douglas and let’s see…. uh ……. o yea, Glen Close. What was the name of that movie ……… ?




Fatal Attraction :eek:





Let see now, X has a restraining order and did I see that he was in jail.

I don't think there is any "slowing this train down":eek::frown::confused:

I think we all know, the only viable option is for you to follow Reverend Floater’s advice, to the letter, and of course post updates as to the results (pic’s if you can).:D

Good Luck.

Raps
01-28-2008, 01:00 AM
boooooooo!

:p

Yeah well tonight i was talkin with some kittens and one asked me....."hey are you dating that older woman?" and i had to defend myself......i guess it is not exactly a turn on in their eyes.....:D

timvwcom
01-28-2008, 05:50 AM
...nothing too crazy though i am afraid...

Well... Looks like this show might be over.























Hey, where were we on that plane and treadmill thread???

2nd mate
01-28-2008, 07:14 AM
[QUOTE=Raps;1658469....."hey are you dating that older woman?" and i had to defend myself......i guess it is not exactly a turn on in their eyes.....:D[/QUOTE]

You couldnt be more wrong about this. Chicks size up thier competitors by talking down about them, in any way possible(i.e older woman.) Chicks love bad boys and i am not talking will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Tell those kittens next time exactly what you were thinking. "Just got into town and wasn't goting to NOT get some hot ass!"
Great work thus far and just do what you feel is going to be the most fun without risking serious bodily harm. Has anyone else asked when the ex is getting out?

pappag
01-28-2008, 10:06 AM
Looks like Raps is growing tired of the ham and cheese pita.

http://veldt.lobitlandscapes.org/lunch/img/ham-c-pita.jpg

Huckwheat
01-28-2008, 10:27 AM
Yeah well tonight i was talkin with some kittens and one asked me....."hey are you dating that older woman?" and i had to defend myself......i guess it is not exactly a turn on in their eyes.....:D

So, how did you "defend yourself"? Complete denial, or more like "I wouldnt call it "dating""?

How is your relationship with your roommate? If she is cool, maybe she can help. Some advice on how to get her friend to chill out a bit.

Moose Pit
01-28-2008, 10:38 AM
Time to move on eh Raps, you shoulda convinced Phish to tag her with you. Would have been easy(er) to slip out when the cougar was distracted by new meat. Could have had a big blow out about how she was more interested in Phish and (I think there is a bunch of screaming about feelings and don't you find me interesting and stuff :rolleyes:) promptly break off the relationship (the argument "but it was your idea" can always be defused with "but I thought it was what you wanted").

But since you missed your chance... may the force be with you:p

Lonnie
01-28-2008, 10:39 AM
Yeah well tonight i was talkin with some kittens and one asked me....."hey are you dating that older woman?"

Proper response, "No, I'm just fucking her..."

SLAYER
01-28-2008, 11:10 AM
Paging Reverend Floater.

Rontele
01-28-2008, 11:24 AM
Time to move on eh Raps, you shoulda convinced Phish to tag her with you. Would have been easy(er) to slip out when the cougar was distracted by new meat. Could have had a big blow out about how she was more interested in Phish and (I think there is a bunch of screaming about feelings and don't you find me interesting and stuff :rolleyes:) promptly break off the relationship (the argument "but it was your idea" can always be defused with "but I thought it was what you wanted").

But since you missed your chance... may the force be with you:p

I agree. Ask her if she wants a London Broil (teabagging her while shitting on her chest). She'll be gone in a second.

edg
01-28-2008, 11:27 AM
I agree. Ask her if she wants a London Broil (teabagging her while shitting on her chest). She'll be gone in a second.

What kind of fucked up situation do you have to be in to think 'Hmmm, you know what might be nice? If you suck my balls while I shit on your chest.'

edg

philippeR
01-28-2008, 11:27 AM
I agree. Ask her if she wants a London Broil (teabagging her while shitting on her chest). She'll be gone in a second.
Well, he'll be gone. Technicaly it's her house, isn't ..?

flatNshallow
01-28-2008, 12:46 PM
The funniest thing is the framed picture of an actual cougar on the wall in the bathroom!

Very well played by the cougar!


Pics?

Benny Profane
01-28-2008, 12:50 PM
Yeah well tonight i was talkin with some kittens and one asked me....."hey are you dating that older woman?" and i had to defend myself......i guess it is not exactly a turn on in their eyes.....:D

Hey, dude, who cares what the little girls think. The cougar is putting them to shame. If they want to show you something, then, well, let them whip it out. Otherwise, leave them to their cells and Cosmos and gossip. You're with a woman.

Tippster
01-28-2008, 02:05 PM
Well, he'll be gone. Technicaly it's her house, isn't ..?

No, she's the friend of Raps' roomate.

flowtron
01-28-2008, 02:16 PM
What kind of fucked up situation do you have to be in to think 'Hmmm, you know what might be nice? If you suck my balls while I shit on your chest.'

edg

You've never been to Pueblo

BmillsSkier
01-28-2008, 02:49 PM
oh and i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......

http://tetongravity.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=36491&stc=1&d=1201553288

Nobody Famous
01-28-2008, 04:00 PM
Hey, dude, who cares what the little girls think. The cougar is putting them to shame. If they want to show you something, then, well, let them whip it out. Otherwise, leave them to their cells and Cosmos and gossip. You're with a woman.

Good advice here.

Core Shot
01-28-2008, 04:17 PM
Proper response, "No, I'm just fucking her..."

exactly my thoughts.

Raps, play this like a professional stud.

Be matter of fact, firm and to the point.
1) you are a fuck machine
2) the cougar is only a fuck buddy. cut her off politely, but firmly. she is not expecting to marry you (this is not like the same age crushes you have previously dealt with - she knows what time it is - or rather, how old she is).
3) you fuck who you want, when you want, how you want. Be strong and independent and the rest of the chicks in that house will want your action.
Be weak and sensitive, and the cougar will cling to you and crush all hope of kittens and cougar orgies.

When the kitten said you were "dating" the cougar, that was your signal you screwed up. You are not dating her. You are not an item. FWB at best, but really she's just a hole to fill.

'The [cougar] and me?"
"Oh, we just fuck every now and then. No big deal. I just got too much mojo to not let it flow"

Seriously, man. You have a few days at most to REGAIN CONTROL OF THE COUGAR DEN.

If you let this cougar get all emotional, you are doomed with all the other kittens and cougars. Make it clear that you both knew it was just about fucking. period. . . . Next customer please.

pechelman
01-28-2008, 04:19 PM
this thread is like a "how-to" when one moves into the cougar den
amazing

SuperChief
01-28-2008, 04:24 PM
I'll never eat a ham and cheese on pita. damn thats gross! Sure glad there wasn't chunks of feta in it.

"Just thinking about you, Big hug"...... is a sweet thing all girls do, that isn't scary it's normal, you better hook up with a kitten soon or you're doomed to the ham and cheese pita and a whole lotta drama.

jibij
01-28-2008, 04:24 PM
she is not expecting to marry you (this is not like the same age crushes you have previously dealt with - she knows what time it is - or rather, how old she is).

Cougars can be as delusional as kittens are naive.

jepilot
01-28-2008, 04:27 PM
this thread is like a "how-to" when one moves into the cougar den
amazing

You should add the technical flava we're used to from you. Like "what is the best angle of insertion?"

;)

pappag
01-28-2008, 04:32 PM
Raps, only way out is to fuck her friends ... and videotape it ... and plan it when the cougar is expected to drop by for a visit.

MOHSHSIHd
01-28-2008, 04:41 PM
Well, Phish can chime in but good times were had this weekend....nothing too crazy though i am afraid......

The Powder awards were a hell of a time though - E, you rock man - great work.

It was great rubbin elbows with the pros - Ingrid and Kip, if you are readin this (i know you guys lurk), it was great talkin with you guys......

The craziest part though was running into Atrain who won an award (congrats man and nice meetin ya) and we all came back to the cougar den for after hours - I'm not too sure what happened after that but i do know that i woke up next to the cougar again.....sorry Phish that there were no other cougars late night in the den for ya but those South African chicks were digging you guys and were over here tonight pissed that you didn't stay.....so you are more than welcome to come up here for round 2.....


Sorry guys i know thats not too crazy a story, but the truth is, this damn cougar is scaring me and i think i may slowly stop this train......shes freakin old and its kinda freakin me out.....oh and i had to leave for work early this morn and she was still sleeping.....she left me a note saying "Just thinking about you, Big hug"......thats kinda weird.......oh well


Phish, what are your thoughts after your time in the den?


The den is fucking sweet man. Kinda funny I didn't ski or see any x-games stuff, but it was fucking fun. The whole experience shooting the awards was fucking awesome! Thanks again E!

Tell your roommate that Chris will make a big meal (he is an awesome chef) next time we come down. Enough for all of us and whatever random ladies she rounds up. Hopefully it snows too.

eddiecut
01-28-2008, 05:22 PM
if your over it, i think you need to post pics finally!

Lonnie
01-28-2008, 05:56 PM
'The [cougar] and me?"
"Oh, we just fuck every now and then. No big deal. I just got too much mojo to not let it flow"

Solid work.

Raps
01-28-2008, 06:13 PM
Again, some great advice from the maggot collective.....

To the kittens i just told them....."What!! No way, i just fucked her a couple times and she just keeps wantin more.....cause you know i'm pretty good." I think it went over well - they were some cute s. Africas that i will try to work my mojo on this week......

The roommate is cool with whatever - she is all about rando hookups etc...but the problem is that on the off nights when i just want to come back home from work and chill, the cougar is over hanging with my roommate and she'll come over and kiss me and try to talk and stuff :rolleyes: That is what weirds me out......random drunken hookups are one thing but when she tries to kiss me goodbye every time she sees me......thats gotta stop.

I think i just need to go out before she comes over, or when shes over, head out with my younger friends - always be busy and stuff......

Oh and Rontele, good advice but i'm afraid i would mention it and she would be like hell yeah lets do it......;)

powder11
01-28-2008, 06:14 PM
if you want her gone ask her if she minds fucking a couple of your internet buddies that have never tasted cougar tang before. unless she's a raging whore (bonus: phishow gets laid), she will be thoroughly insulted and beat feet.

pappag
01-28-2008, 06:43 PM
If you really want to know how to end or minimize the situation, then you should talk to the roommate.

BmillsSkier
01-28-2008, 07:22 PM
or you could just show her this thread???

grskier
01-28-2008, 08:55 PM
20 Pages of pure Aspen.... I love it!

LivinTheDream
01-28-2008, 09:29 PM
This whole thread is fuckin hilarious! And the ham and cheese pita has gotta be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Definitely hall of fame.

Lonnie
01-28-2008, 10:30 PM
FNKA mang,

1) You basically want it to be over,
2) We want naked pics.

2 + 2 = Problem solved.

You know what you have to do....

glenplake
01-28-2008, 11:14 PM
So this is basically like a milf version of the OC, but in Aspen?

Skipig25
01-28-2008, 11:47 PM
yep. as well as a manual for cougar den infiltration and penetration.

should I ever be in a similar situation (god please!) I will now have something to reference.

Clownshoe
01-28-2008, 11:54 PM
Just chiming in with the 500th response to this hall of famer to say...

Looks like Raps is growing tired of the ham and cheese pita.

http://veldt.lobitlandscapes.org/lunch/img/ham-c-pita.jpg

gold Jerry, gold