Popular Stories
A local's decision to live in a ski town with few job opportunities and fewer dating prospects has been affirmed after an old college buddy from the finance industry spent 72 hours in town skiing and proclaimed "this is the dream." Lukas/Pexels photo.
Mtn Twn, USA – A local skier’s decision to put his college degree to use by pouring booze at a mountainside dive bar was affirmed after a gainfully employed friend from college stayed the weekend on his couch and told the barkeep he “is living life the right way.”
The revelation was reached when Chip Selhout, a 30-year-old financial analyst and resident of Manhattan’s Chelsea neighborhood, became re-enamored with the mountains and the “free-and-easy” lifestyle of his ski bum friend, 29-year-old Cody Brody, while sleeping on Brody’s couch and riding pow over the three-day Martin Luther King weekend.
“Man, you’ve got it all figured out,” Selhout told his economically challenged friend at one point during the weekend. “I commute to an office on a subway every morning. You commute to a powder day on a chairlift. What I’d give to live in the mountains.”
Selhout told TGR reporters his “moment of clarity” came after several days of riding Brody’s coattails, which included hitting all his secret pow stashes, heavy après sessions with “genuine” people, and enjoying the exhilaration and connection to nature that only life in the mountains can provide.
In between mouthfuls of nachos and gulps of beer, Brody delighted Selhout with magical stories of enjoying prime conditions on midweek sleeper days—pounding snow, free refills, and no one home. He told tales of sunny powder days, where sparkles and sun dogs and glorious displays of nature were complemented by his own personal accomplishments of sending huge airs, skiing technical lines, and dodging slough and slides.
“Skiing makes you feel alive, man!” Brody bellowed over beers at one point during the weekend, his confidence in his life choices growing with each swig. “It’s a high-speed dance with nature, where skills are earned, not bought. Gravity, mountains, and the elements are in charge, not some bogus set of man-made rules!”
Join Our Newsletter
As the two friends discussed the meaning of life, Brody contemplated his future, and wondered if he would grow to be old, poor, and broken. Then he thought about life in a city, grinding it out with millions of other people, hoping to someday retire to a ski town. They debated the pros and cons of each lifestyle and agreed that Brody lived to enjoy today, and Selhout lived to enjoy tomorrow. With this realization, Brody finished his beer, let out a belch and said, “it never is tomorrow, but it always is today.”
The watershed moment of clarity came on the final night of Selhout’s stay, while the duo was splitting a case of PBRs with Brody’s five roommates in his two-bedroom apartment. Selhout confided to Brody that he “dreamed of living in the present and giving it all up to move to the mountains” and how he “could totally see myself moving here in a few months.” Brody told TGR reporters the two old friends shared a bro hug before Selhout hopped on his chartered red eye flight to get back to Manhattan.
“Yeah, I totally wouldn’t be surprised to see him out here in a few months,” Brody told TGR reporters the day after Selhout left while pouring a round of lunch shots for the three regulars at his bar, The Spread Eagle. “Sure, he’s making tons of money, has a fat expense account and a secure future, but c’mon man, how could you not fall in love with this lifestyle? Everything about it is perfect.”
TGR reporters attempted to make phone contact with Selhout to confirm his intentions to relocate from the Big Apple, but his secretary said Selhout was at a power lunch, then scheduled in a budgeting meeting all afternoon, before traveling to LA to meet with clients, but he would “definitely get right back to you when he’s free.”
*This is a work of satire, obviously.
